Tag Archives: new level

God made my BODY…. I will NOT be ashamed anymore

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creedancingAs I sit here in a New Chapter of my life. I enjoy the fact that its only me. I love that. I can FOCUS on myself. I’ve never had time like this to really pay so much attention to who I am. Sometimes I admit I don’t know that to do with myself. LOL But one thing that has been on my mind for the longest, something so petty to the next person, but it has played a huge part of how I lived my life.

I’ve always had a beautiful shape, small waist and a behind that is noticeable. When I was young, guys who were older than me would always try to talk to me. They would always tell me how pretty I was, and how beautiful my shape was. I grew up with both my parents in the home, and my parents didn’t play that being fast mess. My daddy would kill us with his bare hands, if we were acting fast. As a matter of fact, I was shy, stayed to myself and never wanted any trouble. Because it was easy to see this in me, many men felt free to tell me about my body. I remember so clearly how people would say to me, “why is your booty so big”? This would bother me, because I hated attention, I wanted to be the gurl in the back ground. I didn’t know why my body was made this way. I didn’t know why men would look at me and want me. I didn’t know I would be molested and raped by several men in my life before I even left to be on my own at 22. I didn’t know that my body could cause so much chaos in my life.

When I was in my teens, I would always catch it with the older women about my body. They were the ones who really did me in on this subject. Making me feel that when God created me, that I was on some sort of assembly line and that I got in the “behind line” one too many times and he must have missed catching me. Making me feel as if I some how cheated and “got more” than what they had. They all made me feel so ashamed of myself. So, I started wearing extra long shirts, and sweaters to cover my body even more. I would pull at the bottom of my shirts, stretching them way out of shape. I made sure that no one saw my body anymore. Instead of wearing a regular shirt, that everyone else was wearing, I chose to wear everything long.

Its a shame how I didn’t know any better to understand that God made my body. And to tell these grown OLD women just that. I didn’t have any say on how he made it. I didn’t stand in a line to get it, I didn’t chose, beg, or pray. I didn’t do anything but come to this world to serve a purpose for HIM.

With all that said. I have gained so much weight over the years that I can’t believe that I let myself get so out of shape. As I can see myself in a different light BY LIVING ALONE AND BEING ABLE TO FOCUS ON ME. I have already started a SERIOUS workout plan to be healthy and beautiful as God has made me. I am 16 days into working out EVERYDAY. And I LOVE IT. I have never been so serious about this, and everyday I go to bed and I look forward to working out the next day, and setting short term goals…and MEETING THEM!!!!

No longer will I allow ANYONE to make me feel bad because of my body, or any thing else. Its funny how everyone had something to say about it then when I didn’t know any better, but now a days having a BIG BEHIND is in. People are getting booty shots, and DYING to have WHAT I WAS ALREADY BORN WITH.

I have and will always carry myself as woman. I will no longer misuse my body for ANYONE’S OPINION of me. If they have a problem take it up with God…. he’s my creator.

This is MY story about my BODY… but there are stories of people who are drop dead gorgeous, people who have light skin and dark skin. This is for people who have skin disorders, born without an ear, nose. For people who have large breast and people who stare at you, this is for anyone who has covered up their appearances because others made them feel bad. THIS POST IS FOR YOU!

crester

Psalms 139:14, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

Cree  *photo ABOVE taken in Atlanta Georgia, July 1993

*photo here taken last month*

Cree’s Class 2011 * blaming others*

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Cree’s Class 2011 

 
 Blaming Others
 
Me: “Hey daddy what are you doing”?
Dad: ” Oh nothing, sitting here crying.”
Me: “Sighs to myself… Why daddy what’s wrong”?
Dad: Oh I’m sitting here with no cigarettes and no booze”?
Me: Well, go to the store and get some.
Dad: “How can I get some with no money”?
Me: Oh, well dad, guess you may have to sit this one out”
Dad: “How the hell you gon tell me to sit this one out, when yall went to Texas Road House to eat today and I’m sitting here with nothing GOOD to eat, drink or smoke?”
Me:  * Not wanting to argue….. I say…”Alright daddy, I’ll talk to you later.
Dad” Bye.
 
My daddy is alwayssssss, blaming somebody else for his short comings. If you have $10.00 and he has $5.00 he will make sure you know that the reason why he didn’t buy 2 packs of cigarettes was because YOU had more money than him. He never  take responsibility for his own actions. He has to always blame others.
 
I’m so use to those kinds conversations, that I promise to NEVER play those kinda mind games when I had my daughter. And I didn’t. When you blame everyone because of what you don’t have its a problem.  Either your child is going to grow up and use these same tactics to get what they want, or they’re going to take responsibility of what they do and don’t have. When a person is always blaming others for their mistakes, they are out of control and will blame any and everyone, so that they won’t be held accountable for their own actions.
 
2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad
 
A few weeks ago during the BUSY holiday season, I was ringing up this Chinese lady. After she paid for her items, she said Oh, I want gift receipts.  We’ll after a sale is completed, the customer has to go to the customer service to have it all voided and re rung. I told her that for one I was sorry, I should have asked her, but no matter how many times I apologized to her, it still wasn’t enough. She just kept saying to me, you should have asked me, you should have asked me. After another apology, I was curious of the mentality of this woman, I said to her…… well maam, why didn’t you tell me, I would have given them to you, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you. She said, you should have asked me, you should have asked me. Right then and there, I knew that no matter how many times I told her that I was sorry about MY mistake, she wanted to take no responsibility of REMINDING me that she NEEDED gift receipts. She wanted to blame me and that was final.
 
Now, let me run down the “BIG PICTURE” that she missed.
 
1. I have apologized  , there will be no blood taken from me, and my house will not be out of order when I get to it. There is nothing else to get out of me but a sincere apology. I would do it 100 times if that would’ve made her feel better.
2. This lady had a CHOICE, to stand in the 4 person line service desk ( nothing I could have done) or leave the store without them.
3. Understand that she can BLAME me all day, night, year, month, hour and minute that since these were  HER items, she also had the responsibility to tell/remind me that she needed gift receipts.
4. And since she didn’t, she was the one who  would be standing in another line to get them taken care of. Not me ( and that may sound harsh, but its the truth, lets be real here.) Lets get out of the sugar-coating days.
 
See, people are responsible for not correcting others when they are wrong. I took responsibility for my part. As a matter of fact, I made sure I asked everyone after her if they need gift receipts. LOL I learned a lesson. I admitted my fault.I knew it was my job to make sure I ask people if they wanted gift receipts.I made a human error on a busy day. Had she  admitted that she “forgot” to tell me, then she would’ve  taken it SO BADLY. But since I’m the cashier, she feels she can say what she wants to me without me knocking the English language out of her, she chose to take no responsibility in it.
 
 
So, now my question is? Did she learn that if she goes to another store and the cashier doesn’t ask her if she wants a gift receipt, that she will be standing in the same line again, if she doesn’t speak up? Did she learn that she can BLAME the cashier all day, she is the one who has to get it taken care of , AND NOT THE CASHIER. Lets say, I would have gotten fired for not remembering………. would the lady learn from this, and remind other cashiers when she wants gift receipts, or will she forget and blame person after person for something she clearly couldn’t REMEMBER HERSELF?
 
 
Deep huh? Learn to take responsibility for your own actions, because when Judgement Day come, you wont be able to say……Well what happened Lord was…….. when I was walking down the street, this lady walked up to me and she was talking, and she had a $100.00 bill coming out of her purse, and when she wasn’t looking, it flew out and landed under my shoe, and when she walked away Lord, I picked it up. And the reason why I didn’t ask her was it hers, was because she DIDNT ASK ME DID I FIND IT. 
 
 
Have a Blessed Year!
Cree ~new level~

New Level~ 2011

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Today is Jan 1, 2011. 2011, is like a New sheet of paper, its up to you what you write in it.
 
I can sit here and say that I have truly learned a lot in 2010. I’m not a person who complain often, or even dwell on the past, but I will say this….. I do not have a hard time moving on from anyone and anything. That’s one that I ABSOLUTLY LOVE about myself. I can move on and never look back * that’s the part that scares me*. And when I say never look back, ……..I mean NEVER look back.
 
God has really shown me a lot lately. I’m in a place where I’m listening and learning, watching and growing. Sometimes I talk so much that I really don’t see the big picture that’s going on in my life. But a lot of things I do see, I just play “dumb” to it, just to not get question on it. That’s gotta stop this year too. If I don’t want to comment on it, then I won’t. Sometimes its easier to say ” nope I didn’t see that, or nope I didn’t hear that”. God fills me in on a lot, and if I want him to continue to do that, he wants me to listen. For these last few months, OMG……. its unreal what I see and know. I want control of all situations that has everything to do with me. And God is showing me, you are “not the plant manager of your life La’Crease”, “you are not the boss of your life La’Crease”, and for me to just sit back and listen. Man…… I’m so quiet sometimes, it scares me. LOL
 
But guess what? I’m finding out the little I say, is a lot, just because it came from ME. LOL Listen, God showed me this one day recently……A little over a week, I was at my register, had just turned off my light because it was time to go home, I had a few more customers, and my shift was over. One of the managers come out of the office behind me and flicked my light back on, as he tried so HARD to walk away quickly, but I caught him!!!! I looked at him, with this look……… before I even knew it *lol* he smiled and I said Nah unnnnn, I’m leaving for the day. I went to punch out and was telling one of my other co-workers about it, didn’t he tried to do her the same way? Well, the very next day, people were coming up to me saying I heard what happened about such and such and him trying to turn back on your light. And I’m saying to myself……….. how the hell did you know that? That’s when he showed me that when I, La’Crease say something its a “OMG CREE said that? But let someone else had told that same story, it wouldn’t get pass 1 person. I didn’t say anything, I just allowed God to show me that. I have to watch what I say at all times. This happens to me all the time, when I say something its Gold…..That’s why I don’t like gossip. If I say anything about someone, trust me its good. When I’m confronted on it, its all good. I’m not saying anymore about it in a good way, than the next person who likes it as well.
 
Anyway………
 
This year I’m going to be more visual when it comes to my blog entries. Also when it comes to Teaching, and Ministry
* Raisingurls*, IM GOING HARD!!! Like you’ve never seen before. I’m going to use real life examples, scriptures, and common sense. The truth will never come off as arrogant, unless you don’t believe it.
 
I’m closing for now. Have a Blessed New Year!!!
Cree ~new level~