Learning Life Lessons

Its 4:03  in the morning…. as I  listen to Anthony Hamilton Best in Me. I’m loving this song, even though its old, I heard it for the first time a few days ago.

 

I have something on my mind and I have to write it out.. I will not go to bed holding this.

 

This is my last post on Virgos, I use to be deep into signs but over the last 14 years I just don’t put much into it. But I cannot ignore the constant signs all the men I know appear to be. This is bothering me, the behavior seems to all be the same.

 

I met this guy about 3 plus weeks ago, in the parking lot of my building, he moved in not long ago. When I met him he was just getting out of the hospital with pneumonia and  out of his truck with an oxygen tank in his hand. He’s a very nice looking guy. We exchanged numbers, but I never called him, he was doing all the calling. Now I know me, I’m very funny… I meet a lot of guys and if one catch my eye, I’ll let him pursue me. It took me a long time to call him, I kept running into him in the lobby and he was very persistent about me calling. I told him I would… but I didn’t.

 He saw me again in the lobby and said to me… if you’re not going to call me, then be honest, just say it. The way he said it made me “want to call him”, he appeared to be interesting in a “crazy” kinda way. But I didn’t.

 

He called me and let me have it. LOL He was talking to me in a respectable tone, but I was shocked at how it bothered him that I didn’t call. I felt kinda bad, and made up in my mind that I was going show more interest.

 

The more we talked over the phone, I liked him. We decided from the beginning to be just friends…. I’m “doing me” at this time, and he is newly separated. I liked the fact that he was really showing me in our conversations that he really wanted to make a “new friend”… and thats it!!!

 

One day he asked me would I go to the store for him and help him out until he gets off his tank. That shocked me… because I DON’T RUN ERRANDS FOR NOBODY. He is NOT MY MAN!!!! Especially not this time in my life. I have nieces and nephews for that. Just recently he asked me to come to his apartment to help him put together his fan that was brand new. I decided to go, but after we finished talking and laughing, he end up doing it himself. We had a good time , he has a nice apartment. I really felt that we could be good friends, but its still something, I haven’t figured it out yet.

 

We debate over the smallest things. He can ask me 1 million questions * and he never forgets what I say* but when I ask him something he don’t want to talk about….. that’s a debate. A few days ago * lol* I was pulling up in the parking lot and so happens he was RIGHT BEHIND ME, its hard to find a good spot in this building So happens the parking spot he had before he left was still opened, but it was the last one, and since I pulled in first, WE ARGUED ABOUT THAT. LOL LOL LOL LOL He felt I should have let him get it since he had his tank. WE argue about every little thing, he will say something crazy, we hang up, then he calls back and say… okay sorry about that you be making me mad gurl. LOL WOW

 

The next day, after talking on the phone for a long time * I hate talking on the phone*. He said to me… ” I see now that you’re not going to help me out”. Now I do understand that he needs help, he’s the only child and he really need to get back on his feet. I said to him, let me break this down to you, and I want you to hear me with your heart. I know I can be brutally honest, but I wanted him to “get it”.

 

I told him. … this is the first time being out on my own. I enjoy hoping in my van and going anywhere I want to go. I have no children, No man, and I can do anything I want to do in my life. I said right now I’m “doing me”. I have no plans of going on ANYBODY’S ” To do list”. I said I love going to the movies alone, I go and see 2 movies in one day, go to dinner, take a ride to the river, and listen to my music. I’m getting to know me. I said to him.. I’ve always been a motherly person, and if I start coming to your house to wash dishes, going to the store, picking you up something to eat, cooking for you, washing your clothes…. I said IT WILL NEVER END. I know me. This is who I am. I said right now… I’m doing me, getting to know LaCrease, nobody is on my ‘ TO DO LIST” BUT ME!!!

 

He listened, we talked. But the very next day…..he didn’t answer my text, didn’t answer his phone. I thought he was dead in his apartment. In my mind I’m thinking we just had a honest conversation and this man is dead strapped to his oxygen tank. His Tahoe was in the parking lot, that really had me wondering. I put on some clothes and knocked on his door.. I knocked and knocked and knocked… no answer. I went back to my apartment and thought about it. I decided to have someone to call his phone to see if he answers. HE picked up the phone. That really SHOCKED ME. My whole everything I felt about him was INSTANTLY GONE. That’s one thing I CANNOT STAND about myself. If you say some messed up stuff to me to hurt me, or show me differently than what you say…. IM DONE ITS A WRAP. I wont deal with you again. I’ll speak and be nice… but to hold a conversation and GIVE YOU MY ENERGY… NEVER THAT.

 

So finally after I called him about 7 times * SMH NEVA AGAIN* he answers the phone. LOVING ALL THE TIME AND ENERGY I put into calling him, and knocking on the door. He LOVED IT. I said see, this is the friendship love I show you, and you said you were sleep, but yet you wake up every morning and call me, but after this talk…. you were sleep…. OKAY. Nothing he said moved me. I was numb and had ABSOLUTELY nothing else to say. He knew it, but it was funny to him. Then he started saying … you really like me, I can tell the way you talk to me, and look at me. I can tell you can fall in love with me…… I can see it. He kept going on and on…. making me so mad. It takes a lot for me to like a guy. All while I’m saying to myself….. ITS A WRAP FOR YOU BOO. IMMA SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I DONT LIKE YOU… NOW HOW BOUT THAT. After we hung up… we didn’t talk for the rest of the night, and we didn’t talk not once today. I WISH I WOULD PICK UP A PHONE I HATE TO BE ON ANYWAY. GMFU

 

This is what I go through with VIRGO MEN. Everyone of them that I know. All I can do is shake my head. As I look back on my VIRGO post… I’m going to repost a few things that reminds me of him.

 

He will woo her, be attentive, listen intently to all she says, taking notes and remembering fine details of all she says. He is a gentleman in every sense of the word. This man will make you feel as though you are not only the only woman in the room but the only woman on the planet as well. He’s known for luxury, comfort and fine things. He will call the next day, send texts wishing you a “good morning”, and he will be highly romantic. He sounds like dream come true. The more you try to please this man, the more you will fail.

 

He may become enraged when you stand ground, but I will tell you he will respect you for it. You never want to lose the respect of Virgo, for once you do, you lose their attention. CONTROL should be a the middle name of a Virgo male. And many times in an effort to control aspects of their own lives they, in turn, attempt to control aspects of yours, though they don’t see it this way. It’s their life, you happen to be part of it, therefore you are subjected to their insatiable need for such control. That is how they view it. When you express your desires, needs, and wants, they will fulfill them only if it fits into what they want for their own lives. They appear to be very black and white thinkers.

 

They are also creatures of habit. I find them to be very predictable and ending relationships is not their strong suit. They tend to do so in a cut and dry manner, they shut down, withdraw and silence. They won’t return your calls, nor your texts, but they won’t tell you to “get lost” either. They tend to hold onto the past as they may regret their decision and want to revisit it. They are notorious for having explosive break ups, turning a tiny disagreement into a full blown brawl. They walk out, fall silent but make no mistake they are so sure of your love for them they will wait by that phone for the apology they feel they so richly deserve (even if they started the battle). As time goes by and you are not calling they become even more angry, bitter and resentful. But, and this is a big but, they are also known to reappear without warning, and attempting to discuss the issue long after you’ve moved on and forgotten about it. This causes many women bewilderment and they cannot figure out what the game plan is here. Is he trying to reconcile? Did he miss me? What’s he doing? What he’s doing is seeking validation that you are still waiting for him, and if you give him that, you will be placed back up on that shelf to collect dust only to be taken down and played with whenever he needs to feel secure again. It’s a horrible catch 22.