A Personal Relationship With God

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Today is a nice day. My bestfriend Gloria came over to see me, she says the reason why we don’t go out any more is because of this computer. rofllllllll Well she’s right. I love this computer and the things that it brings.
 
Today I went to the grocery store and I was so nice to the customers and the cashiers. Not because its my neighborhood grocery store but because I wasn’t at work I guess. I don’t know. But I love that other side of Lacrease. I love her.
 
Lord, thank you for convicting me when I am wrong. I know sometimes I act stubborn and don’t want to do right, but thanks for letting me hear your voice. Yesterday at work we were in the lunch room having our normal God talks, and we were discussion how does a person know your voice.
 
 I told Mona my coworker, when you are in the grocery store and you are on one side of the building and one of your kids are on the other. I said if your daughter calls from across the store, you will know her voice. I said you will be able to tell if your child is in trouble, if she just want to know where you are in the store, even if she wants something. The point is by spending time with your child daily you can easily distinguish her/his voice from anyone that is calling out to you.
 
That’s how it is with God. If you spend time with him daily by having conversations with him, laughing with him, listening to him, and most important reading his word~ The Bible.  That’s how you will know his voice when he speaks to you. That’s called a personal relationship.
 
Its very important in the world today, people are going through things and they don’t even need too. Its because they don’t have any one to turn too. God is always there, but guilt keeps people from wanting to worship him. You can be just burned out of your house, no gas, no lights, no clothes no coat, and because of the guilt you are feeling from not having a relationship with him, will effect you when you really need him. And even though he will never turn his back on you, you still feel that you haven’t built up enough communication to even pray.
 
Start today, start talking, start looking for him, speak to him, allow him to convict you when you are wrong, and allow room in your life for a personal relationship with him today. Don’t just say it, don’t just know it, BUT DO IT!
 
LaCrease

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

-James D. Miles

Church, My freinds and God

Hello Lord,

         It seems so funny that I am talking to you public. I want to thank you for another day. Yes, another day. Did I go to Church today? No. I didn’t. I am going to be going back real soon, and this time Im going to be lead by you. Ive tried too many times, then 5 weeks later, Im a drop out.

 

I cant be back and forth. Im use to going to Church and then going to the programs afterwards. I am going to change my life. God wants me to do right. I can feel it. He wants me to do great things, and speak to women who is hurting all over the world. And if I can’t get myself up to go to Church how is people going to look at me?

 

Lord, I know I need to sit down and write my daddy a letter. I know that its important to do that. I know it is. Its funny how many things that we need to be doing now, and not later.

 

Lord, I want to pray for my friends. Lori, Niya, Daneisha, Kia, Eddie, Terrell, Tiffany, Keisha, and my gurl Tasha. Those are my friends that always ask about me, while Im too busy telling them to call me back. Lord, Im going to try my best to serve my friends and be there for them when they need to talk or visit me.

 

Lord, you know how much I love Anita Baker, Gerald Levert, and you have made it possible for me to meet them. You know my heart the day it was broke when I went to NY. So then I met Gerald and then Anita Baker. So Lord, you know I want to meet Tyler. Please Lord let it happen for me. Lord, please let it happen for me.

 

Well im closing for now, and Im going to do some work for the Pearls right quick. So I will talk to you tomorrow.

 

Matter of fact, Im going to share some of the things you did for me.

 

I Love you Lord,

Lacrease

 

 

 

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

-James D. Miles

Rapist thoughts, and the new Lacrease

Hey.

Lord Thank you for another day. Another day I said. Another day. How are you doing Lord?

Today was a good day for me, time went pretty quick at work, and then I went home.

I must admit God I am a Church drop out. I was going real good a few months ago, then I dropped back out. Thats not good at all. I know Lord, that I need to go ever Sunday and not when Im not tired from work or dont feel like it. I want that same feeling I had when I went to Church a year straight without missing a Sunday. I miss that.

Lord, I havent spoken to my dad for a very long time now. Its been at least a month. He told me not to go to his funeral when he dies. Aint that something deep to tell your own child. Where does that kind of angry roots? How could you think this thought to even tell you own child? Is that hate? I told my dad, if I didnt love God so much, I would tell you off. I told him that. I could never ever in a million years tell Neisha, when I die dont come to my funeral. You have to be hurting, and hating yourself to even let those words come out of your mouth.

 

Welp,  my so called boyfriend who raped me and took my vaginity at 17 will be out of jail soon, before the year is out. For some reason I feel he is already out. I dont know the real reason why he is locked up, but I stilll havent forgotten what he did to me. I still think about that night as if it was “tonight”. He left me bleeding and cold that night in July or August. It was almost my birthday. I was saving myself. I dissed him after that. Do you know that when he saw me he had the nerve to say “Why didnt you tell me you was on your period.”? I didnt scream when he was doing it, I was just so shocked. My daddy would have killed him on the spot. I still think that I did the right thing by not screaming, I dont want my dad in jail, cause thats where he would have end up. My dad dont play about his kids. He dont play.

 

God sometimes I want to ask you questions. How could you know that this was happening to me and not do anything? How can I help someone when I cant get over it myself? What am I suppose to learn from this? Why is he still living and doing the same thing to other women? God please dont let me look up and see him in my line when he gets out of jail. He is going to ask about me, because of the people we know that I am still in contact with. I was molested by a babysitter. He is in jail and I hope he is never getting out. He is there for life, but heard that could change. Lord, dont let him get out. I dont want that rapist to get out of jail, but since he is, dont let me see him again, and especially in Walmart.

 

Lord, I know tomorrow Im going to read this entry and ask myself what in the would was I thinking to post this. Well maybe it needs to be out of me and into the world. Who knows.

 

For many years I was content with being  heavy.  I felt that if I am heavy less attention I would get. That is foolish thinking and not true. Today I am a new woman, I want to be pretty, and I deserve to be happy. I am on a journey to lose this weight and be the woman God has called me to be. Thats enough with all these lies satan has feed me all these years. I am going to be healthy and beautiful all at the same time.

 

Well, guess I go and cry.

Crease

 

 

October 27, 2005

Lord, thank you  for another day. This morning I woke up and started my day because of you, and I thank you.

 

Lord, I know that I be acting up some times, thinking crazy thoughts when people get on my nerves, and I know that I am not perfect nor do I act like I am either, but whew my brothers and sisters down here be getting on my nerves. lol

 

Lord, I know that I need to work on a lot of things in my life, and you know that I want a husband, is he ever gonna come? I mean will I ever get a husband or even had a boyfriend that is going to love me and I do the same. I mean I really want a husband to love and take care of me. Something I never had. I want him to just hand me some money and say here go shopping boo. Buy you something, not for the house or Neisha or his kids, but for you. I never heard those words before.

 

I wont push it.Guess I need to be happy with what I have.

 

Lord if I could ask you for one thing that is materialistic it would be a whole lotta money. I dont want a lost suit, I dont want to lose a family member, nor be involved in an accident. I want to win that money so I don\’t have to work any more, and that way I can do Ministry work all day. I would love that. Is it in your will?

 

In closing, thank you for listening to me, I know you love me, I can feel it, thanks for keeping my mouth shut when people say things that I am not feeling.

 

Good night Lord, and I love you

La\’Crease

 

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

-James D. Miles

Anita Baker came in Walmart! 10-24-05

Hello,
     Thank you Lord for waking me up today. Again! You always bless me and keep me for sure. I want you to know that I know it’s you that is keeping me.
 
Guess what? Anita Baker came in Walmart today. I was trying not to be nervous, but I couldnt help it. I was so nervous but at least I saw her and she hugged me.
 
I was in a good mood today. I worked from 12:00 pm to 5:45. and took a 30 min lunch. I shouldnt have but I did.
 
I also put in for a change adjustment. Im so tired of closing late and cleaning up . Gurl please Im done with that mess. My closing hours are 10:30 the latest. So I wont have to worry about that for sure.
 
WEll, Im gon to bed, I will see yall later.
 
I love you Jesus!
 
God said to me. ” I had to prove you. I had to take you through all of the disappointments to make you ready for the Glory that is about to be revealed to you. ~ Tyler Perry

A blessed day

Thank you Lord, for another day of life! Thank you, thank you , thank you.

As I see the inches come off my body, I can only thank you for it. Forgiving me the minset to go head and lose this weight. I know that I will be able to serve you better. I know that if I do this, the biggest thing that keeps me down mentally. I can do all things through Christ. I know I will be all that. I feel it. Im not even talking about physically, but mentally. Im excited!

There is one thing that I have noticed about me and me losing weight. I am learning to balance my time. That is so important. I am so excited about how I am losing weight to that fact that I am not at the computer all day and night. I will get up and clean up, I will get up in a heatrbeat and go to the store, I will get up and go around to the sisters house, I will get up and do this and that. My room stays clean, my computer room stays clean, everything is different. Its not a depression state, where I dont want to do anything. I cant explain this feeling.

Balance is very important in my life. I will come home and iron my clothes for the next day instead of doing it that day and then be running late for work. No. No! I do them the day before now, then when its time for work I can pray, watch Church on TV and then get ready for work. Im learning its a process, and it takes time too.

So Lord, I say thank you for waking me up and starting me on my way. And for the things that are too come for me. I love you, and I cant wait to see you and kiss you.

Lacrease

Met a Woman today

Thank you Lord for another day.
 
Got up this morning took Neisha to school, came home watched a little of Superman, and dosed off. Woke up to some Tim Horton\’s glazed donuts, and hot chocolate. Dosed back off, phone kept ringing, bills collector\’s calling like they know me personally. Instead of them saying \’Hello my I speak to Lacreasea Walker,\” they say \”Hello Lacreasea\’!  With an exclamation mark, not with a question.
 
So me, being the sarcastic \”wanna be lawyer\” I am~ says there are 4 Lacreasea Walker\’s that live here, which one do you want to speak too? Them they laugh a little cause they know its funny. and reply well let me speak to the one born in 1967, and I say well………………..\”She aint here\”~~click! (rofl)
 
They work my nerves! I\’ll tell ya, they need to get somewhere and sat down!!
 
Well, after I picked my gurl Neis up, we went to get our brows done. We love to get them hot waxed. I hate the tweezers them baby\’s hurt. We got them done, I stopped at the store to get her a snack, went home got on the computer for a minute and then started thinking about how Hungary I was.
 
I decided that I wanted some Young\’s Bar-beque. Yeah the oldest barbecue house in Detroit. Known for the best sauce in the city. I pulled up and there was a black lady standing in the parking lot waiting for me to get out of the car. I got out and approached her before she could even get to asking me questions. \”Ma\’am do you have any money to spare so that I can get me something to eat\’? I said ma\’am do you believe in God? Yes, she said I believe that Jesus died on the Cross and  for my sins. She told me that she goes to the Church just acrossed the street, and that she was living in a hotel, her clothes were okay, her white coat was clean. She said she had been taking advantage of by men. I told her I said you belong to God he is rich, it is not his will for you to be living like this. I said you need to ask him for some riches to get yourself together. She told me that jealousy, envy is one of the causes of her being in the situation that she is in. She was a Supervisor before, and things started going downhill from there. She admitted to being on drugs before, and was wearing a \”hospital like\” band around her arm.
 
She said I got up this morning and did my hair. You can tell she was a nice looking lady that had somehow lost her way. She looked across the street at the Church and said I don\’t always agree with the Church says, cause they always got their hand out. And at that point it remind me of just that situation I was in when I made the decision to talk to her.
 
I don\’t know what she did with the money I gave her to eat with. I really dont know. I cant watch her every move to see where it went. Just as with the Church when I give my money. But like I told her you can\’t worry about that, you have to pray and leave that to God. All you do is your part. Although I didn\’t tell her this, but if I worried about what she did with that money I gave her, because I felt that she was going to do drugs with it, then I shouldn\’t be given her a dime. But that\’s not on me, or up to me. I did my part in giving her money to \”eat.\” What ever she do with it is solely up to her. The same as with the Church, You go and you get your spiritual food or blessing out of it, the rest you leave to God.
 
Crease
Pearls of Wisdom