Deep Conversations/BLOG

Hey family!

You know if you keep on living you will learn so many life lessons. I have learned a lot, and even if I don’t speak on it, I have. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself for not seeing friendships that was not meant to be, even through the warnings. Ah, the warnings.. SMH. But that is years behind me and again, keep on living and you will learn a thing or two. I’m good!

This week, I was having deep DEEP DeEp conversations with my cousins who are all Sisters about my uncle (( their dad))) who passed away many years ago. He was my dad’s best friend and as we were growing up, even though their mom and my uncle was divorced, me and my sister  would go over to their house and spend nights with them. I loved them and looked up to them, because they are all so pretty, came from a good family, and loved being around us. But all of that time as a young gurl, I thought that they were seeing their dad often, because I did. I was young, so of course I didn’t know anything about bickering ex’s, kids, child support and all of that. I remember my youngest cousin of the sisters (( she’s older than me)) use to always ask me have I seen her dad, and my answer would be yes. I would tell her when he came over, and things like that. She would be so excited to hear my stories. I grew up with both of my parents in the home, so I didn’t know why she was so into asking me questions, but now I know that she was missing her dad. But I always thought they saw him as often as I did.

We were having a deep conversation about it, and come to find out they didn’t see him that often. That sadden me, and told me that things weren’t as it seem when I was growing up. How is it that I’m seeing their dad more than they were? When we talked about it, it made ME feel some kinda way. I learned something so deep. They felt that he didn’t love them the way he should have.  And I know he loved them, but I don’t know how they didn’t feel it. Well, I understand their views. I was shocked. And the funny thing is, these sisters are just like mines, WE ARE VERY VERY STRONG WOMEN, with strong opinions, and personalities . Get all 6 of us together on a topic we split on, and its on and poppin. LOL

Back in the day grown folks business was grown folk business. I told them, that whenever he came over, we went to our rooms, or went outside to play. Even though I saw him with my dad, I didn’t know their business or what they talked about. They felt that just because I saw him, I knew things. I didn’t. I was a young gurl myself. It made me feel some kinda way, because they are all grown women and even though 2 of them haven’t completely healed from the hurt, the baby did. She found closure and I’m happy.

Here is the biggest thing. Even though their mom and dad had a bad divorce, and he may not have been the best dad, he was THE BOMB GRANDDAD TO THEIR KIDS. OMG HE HAD THOSE KIDS EVERY WEEKEND. He loved his grandkids, and even though they are grown, today they still feel the effects of his death.

Now, what my baby cousin was saying (( she’s older than me)) is that God spoke to her concerning the healing and closure that she needed. My grandmother was a young mother who had 7 kids, she wanted to work and be in the streets leaving my uncles and aunts with their dad, and her mother. The brothers were bitter about that, maybe grew up and not know how to be close to their kids, not knowing how to communicate or whatever skills they lacked from not having their mother around. My cousin get that, she doesn’t excuse it, but she feels that with the tools he had, he did the best he knew how. My two other cousins feel that he should have done better and knew better. and to make matters worst, he had a girlfriend before he died who was also very close to their kids, who didn’t offer or give them anything of their dads when he passed away. She had everything. I asked my cousin why didn’t she ask her, she felt that it should have been offered.. NOT HER ASKING. Wow I felt differently about that, but then again I cant say because this is not my story and it didn’t happen to me. I would have asked and listened to her say NO, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, so that later on in life she would feel guilty of holding on to all those things she had of his and not have the man… not to mention he was a Atheist. She’ll never hold or see him again.

In the end, we love each other, and I hope that my two cousins find closure. One said sorry she just isn’t there yet, and I got that. One thing I learned is that things arent always what they seem. You think people are happy and have everything under control, but in REAL LIFE its not that way. I felt my uncle loved them, but he didn’t know how to express love when he didn’t get it from his mom. For me, it made my dad love his family and made sure that we were close, didn’t fist fight each other, and to be there for each other no matter what. Two brothers lived in the same house, grew up and saw things differently. I know in my heart he loved them, I just wish they knew it.

 

Chopin Script Regular

 

laporsharenae A WORD TO WOMEN/BLOG

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Something told you to sexually assault me, try to take my life as if you were the one who gave it to me, cheat on me with ANYTHING that walked and tell me that's what love was all about, plead guilty to domestic violence, watch me via you and your next victim's TV rise above your failed attempts to devour and depreciate my mind and spirit, and  then try to come back in Gods name and do it all over again. You have no place in my life. Your tongue is that of a snake, your eyes are dark and manipulative, and your voice reaks of evil. I will raise my daughter to despise false representations of a God-fearing man such as you. You can try your tired, manipulative tricks, but mind you, I'm not alone as I was before. I have the support of my family, fans, and the motivation of my daughter this time.  Your chapter of MY book is closed and will NEVER be opened again for anything other than you answering to God on judgment day for your sinister doings against me and MY daughter.To my former abuser and EX husband, Michael Devin Jennings, your time of mentally, physically and emotionally torturing me has long passed. I have earned the title "SURVIVOR" and will never recede to being a VICTIM EVER AGAIN. I will live the rest of my life surrounded by real love. Enjoy watching me succeed and rid myself of any memory I've ever acquired of you. Enjoy watching me LIVE despite you wanting me DEAD. May God Be with you and have mercy on your soul. ~La'Porsha Renae ~ aka SURVIVOR
#DONTEVERTRYITAGAIN #FINALWARNING
#NotThisTime #LAPORSHAJENNINGSisNOmore #NeverGoingBack #AbusersNeverChange

To any woman in an abusive situation, I plead with you to #GETOUT before it's too late. You can do it!! I stand by you!! I believe in you!! Even if you have children, #GETOUT!! #GETHELP #TELLSOMEONE Don't make them victims too!! To any men or children in those situations, #GETOUT!! NO ONE has the right to abuse you!! #NoYourWorth #YourLifeHasPurpose 
#GOODWOMAN #TakingOutTheTrash
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  • laporsharenaeSomething told you to sexually assault me, try to take my life as if you were the one who gave it to me, cheat on me with ANYTHING that walked and tell me that’s what love was all about, plead guilty to domestic violence, watch me via you and your next victim’s TV rise above your failed attempts to devour and depreciate my mind and spirit, and then try to come back in Gods name and do it all over again. You have no place in my life. Your tongue is that of a snake, your eyes are dark and manipulative, and your voice reaks of evil. I will raise my daughter to despise false representations of a God-fearing man such as you. You can try your tired, manipulative tricks, but mind you, I’m not alone as I was before. I have the support of my family, fans, and the motivation of my daughter this time. Your chapter of MY book is closed and will NEVER be opened again for anything other than you answering to God on judgment day for your sinister doings against me and MY daughter.To my former abuser and EX husband, Michael Devin Jennings, your time of mentally, physically and emotionally torturing me has long passed. I have earned the title “SURVIVOR” and will never recede to being a VICTIM EVER AGAIN. I will live the rest of my life surrounded by real love. Enjoy watching me succeed and rid myself of any memory I’ve ever acquired of you. Enjoy watching me LIVE despite you wanting me DEAD. May God Be with you and have mercy on your soul. ~La’Porsha Renae ~ aka SURVIVOR
    #DONTEVERTRYITAGAIN #FINALWARNING
    #NotThisTime#LAPORSHAJENNINGSisNOmore#NeverGoingBack #AbusersNeverChange

    To any woman in an abusive situation, I plead with you to #GETOUT before it’s too late. You can do it!! I stand by you!! I believe in you!! Even if you have children,#GETOUT!! #GETHELP #TELLSOMEONEDon’t make them victims too!! To any men or children in those situations, #GETOUT!! NO ONE has the right to abuse you!!#NoYourWorth #YourLifeHasPurpose
    #GOODWOMAN #TakingOutTheTrash

AMEN!!! AMEN!!

Just things/BLOG

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Today is a good day. I’m writing down my thoughts. Things that’s on my mind, things I need to do, things I think about for my future. Just things.

Last night, I was thinking about how we want something so badly and never realize that we already had/ have it. Sometimes it takes years and years and years to realize it. You will only know when you come to a place of peace in all areas of your life. You will look back and see that it was already there. Already yours. Wow, that’s so huge for me. Today I smile, with Love in my heart. I’m happy.  The next level will be even greater. I’m looking forward to it. Thank you Jesus, Thank you Lord.

Next year this time I plan to put together a Women’s Gathering. I use to have these all the time at my home. I’m glad to get back to it. We would have a great time. People always ask me about putting together more of them.  I want to be mentally and physically ready for this challenge. I’m a Virgo so you already know we like our things in ORDER. I don’t play a put together gathering, and a skimpy menu. All my life I’ve worked with teens in my home, or at a school, I love my teens, but I see a lot of work needs to be done with the parents, and with Women in general. Women are just allowing anything to take place in their lives and in their presence. Accepting any and everything that’s offered to us that we feel we can’t do ourselves.

You want to know what the hard part for me is? The HARD PART. Its the fact that I was one of those women with low self esteem, dealing with a man that sold drugs, being attracted to that life at an early age when I lived on the one sided block with the Chamber Brothers (( New Jack City Movie)), because they were my friends. Dealing with drama from my daughters father at an early age. Loved to date married men. I always made my own money so I was NEVER influence by that life. For me it was being in the mist of it all.

The HARD PART FOR ME… is that now that I’m no longer living that life at all PERIOD. I talk to women day in and day out, and its so HARD getting women to understand their worth. Its so hard. Sometimes I ask God, how did I end up with this job? LOL I say that because I never knew that through all my pain in those days that God could USE ME to help OTHER women, when I went through the same thing. Like, how am I in this position to help others?  Me? I guess its because I’ve been through it. I know all the twist and turns, the mind games, the manipulation, the ups and downs, the late night cries, early morning prayer for myself to be healed. I know it all. I still wonder how did I escape with my mind. Because I was CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY back in my twenties. LOL I guess that’s what makes me the best candidate. And for some reason I LOVE DOING WHAT I DO.

When I put together this gathering its going to be talked about for months and years to come ! I’m a VISUAL person and what I have planned is going to take it to another level in WOMEN GATHERINGS. I betcha!

I’m closing for now Be Blessed!

I am La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else!

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Focus on ME/BLOG

Today, I decided that I was going to focus on ME. I listen and help a lot of people with my Spiritual advice, but I feel that I have neglected myself. Not in a bad way, but enough to say…..Okay, its my turn.  I’m going to listen to ME.

There are things that I want to accomplish, and things I want to do. I am traveling more and I love that about myself. Already I’m paying on my trip back to the Bahamas. I’m also going to Jamaica, and Mexico. I’ll be leaving for Atlanta next month, and I plan to go to Vegas for the first time next year. I’ll be 50 this year, and still haven’t made plans. I don’t want to have a party. I know a lot of people and there is no way I can afford to host a party that huge, people would be left out, I just don’t have the money for all of that. So, I just may do something for family and that’s it. Traveling is everything to me. I enjoy packing my suitcase, buying new outfits and sandals. I enjoy everything associated with it.

Its so hard making new chances when it comes to myself. Why? I don’t know. I have very high self esteem. I don’t talk about others, I uplift and encourage all.  I’ll feel as if I’m being selfish, because I’m so use to helping out others. Well its too late because I’m already in the process of working on me and my body. YesssszAAAAAAAA

I’m closing for now, chat later.

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Higher Is Waiting Hardcover – November 14, 2017

Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

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Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

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What Monique Didn’t Say/BLOG

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I NEVER ever curse in my blogs, but this one… THIS ONE RIGHT HERE…. I have to really express myself, to get MY POINT ACROSS.

I sat and watch the very fist clip of Monique going off on Oprah, Tyler Perry, and Lee Daniels on stage at least a good 15 times. Trying to figure out what I was missing about why she was feeling some kinda way. But let me go back a little. Back when the movie was playing or had been at the movies, I remember her telling a story about how all 3 of them pulled her to the side at different times to tell her the importance of promoting the movie. How she would be paid IN THE FUTURE for the fact that she was up for an Oscar. Not sure which one of these came first, the confrontation or the Oscar. At some point with the money she was being paid, and these power houses coming to her, she had to feel as if they didn’t know the full story, and if they did, she probably felt she didn’t want to hear any of it, being that she still didn’t get more money.

Now, I understand.

Monique said that she was paid $50,000 to do Precious. I don’t know how actresses are paid to do movies, I really don’t care because its not my field of interest, but Imma say this…. 50 thousand dollars aint it to me!!!!! I can leave my house RIGHT NOW come back in 2 hours and I’ll have a 10 dollar bill and 2 singles left, are  YOU kidding me? Let me just make that clear. Now, again I don’t know the going price for actresses, but if she signed on to do it, let it be done!

Now, lets get to BUSINESS!!!

I consider myself to be VERY popular at work. I’m a people person, full of laughs personality on 100, love to have fun, brutally HONEST…  I don’t put sugar on conversations, I’m a great LISTENER, I’m a sweet heart, and I love my work family. I KNOW… with everything in me, that If I said to all people on my shift, I’m throwing a 50th Birthday Party, we are all off on Sunday, I want you all to come out and celebrate with me. I KNOW 99 out of 100 people will be there. This is based off of integrity, honesty, realness, direct dealings, and my ability to PROMOTE MYSELF. So, I know, how business goes when it comes to putting your name on something. I say that to say.

So, Tyler and Oprah watched Precious before it was US released. And They LOVED IT!

They signed on to have THEIR NAMES as Producers, because we all know the other producers name doesn’t carry weight. When you’re dealing with BIG WIGS and they attach their names to ANYTHING, it will produce money. Oprah and Tyler are TWO of the biggest names in the game so you know how the outcome will be. By this time, Monique had already signed on the line for $50,00.  And she’s feeling some kinda way.

So, now its time to promote. Tyler and Oprah are producers, they made it very clear ITS NOT THEIR MOVIE,  that they won’t be receiving a dime, instead it goes to CHARITY!  But they wanted to promote it because they felt everyone should go out and support it. COOL!Nothing wrong with that!

At this time. Monique had to be feeling some kinda way, because SHE KNOWS and everyone sleeping in their graves know too, that with THEIR names attached this movie it’s going to do numbers. She knows that she got paid $50,000 FUNKY ASS DOLLARS, and now these folks  (( LIONSGATE ) want her to promote the movie with Oprah and Tyler WITH HER DAYUM MONEY.  So, Monique is saying to herself, yall want me to come off the couch with MY legs crossed, to fly here and there with the $50,000 yall gave me to do the MOVIE?  When this movie was going to DVD…YALL GOT ME MESSED UP!

Now let me say this, I believe with all my heart, that if Oprah and Tyler wouldn’t have signed on to promote it, she wouldn’t have a problem doing the promo’s. If they had any promo to do. Let me tell you why? Lee Daniels THOUGHT IT WAS GOING STRAIGHT TO DVD. He didn’t participate for the movie to go to the movies, and it wasn’t either, until OPRAH AND TYLER watched it. I need to say that for others to UNDERSTAND the mentality of Lee Daniels concerning this movie. This movie was NOT planned to go to Cannes at all PERIOD. I guess Lee felt that if Oprah and Tyler signed on to make the movie known and to skip DVD, that Monique should have jumped on it.  That she should have been “Grateful” that the movie was going to the movies, and that her performance was OSCAR WORTHY. Not with $50,000 SHE WOULDN’T.. ! HELL  NAW!

Now keep in mind that’s not towards Oprah and Tyler at all. Its against Lee Daniels and the power he had to make sure MONIQUE gets the money she deserves, SINCE now Oprah and Tyler has signed on! Also that MENTALITY would work with a new comer, a person trying to get exposure,  a person doing their first movie, but NOT with a seasoned actress and stand up like MONIQUE…. Um cuse me!

When she received a called to promote, she told them she was with her family and wanted to spend time with them. Even if that was true, or NOT,…  I understand that the studio doesn’t give traveling money to promote. Okay fine. Now,  do I believe Monique to be feeling some kinda way….. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! She felt if they signed on, LET THEM PROMOTE IT.. SHE KNEWWWWWWWWWW, how much she got paid and how much the MOVIE WAS GOING TO MAKE.

Monique did make mention that when Tyler summoned her to his dressing room, and clapped to his people to leave the room (( Tyler I love you, but that was funny)) she did throw shade about how that happened, but she wasn’t mad about that, she was mad cause their name went on the bill and the value of the movie went UP and they didn’t pay her more MONEY, knowing the studio WOULD MAKE A KILLIN

Okay! So, when recently Monique and her husband  talked about why she was upset with the 3, she started talking about how Oprah bought her family on her show a while back, and how she didn’t approve of it. While that may be the first thing that made her feel some kinda way about Oprah that’s not enough to go off. Monique was angry because Lee didn’t or couldn’t go back and re-negotiate that funky ass $50,000 she signed to when Tyler and Oprah came on board. and I’ll be mad too dammit. I’m mad and its not my MONEY OR BUSINESS!!! Lee funky ass should have made that  right with Monique.  Just because he was her friend!!! So what, it wasn’t going to be easy, so what, the studio wouldn’t give her more money. BUT HE SHOULD HAVE SAID LOOK FRIEND….. this movie is going to do numbers now since we have the backing of Tyler Perry and Oprah, I’m going in my pocket to make this FAIR with you. Did he have too.. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! NOPE AGAIN.. But Lee KNEW, why Monique wasn’t promoting the movie. He knew WHY she felt some kinda way. He knew that shit. And I know he talked about it TO SOMEBODY!!!

This is what he said that MESSED UP everything! Lee gets his ASS, on the phone and tells her shes been blackballed. Okay that’s one thing to feel that way, and to say it over the phone or in person ! But its another thing to get ON TV and make it come to LIFE. He made his statement real with ANYONE wanting or waiting to work with her. He bought that MESS to life when he mentioned it on TV, just to take the FOCUS OFF HIS ASS, for not saying what HE KNEW she was feeling about the  $50,000. He knew why she was PISSED.  But you see, in those interviews he didn’t mention the money, he didn’t because SHE DIDN’T! He opens his mouth and says…. she didn’t play the game. What is that suppose to mean? But the biggest reason why he was PISSED.. is because she didn’t mention his name when she won the Oscar. Oh, he was LIVID! All while he was mad, he tried to bring the STUDIO LIONSGATE into it by saying, you’re suppose to mention them. SHUT YO ASS UP LEE, you were mad because by saying YOUR name, your name would be heard and known. BECAUSE LIONSGATE IS LIONSGATE ANYWAY… BUT YO ASS AINT LEE DANIELS, IF YOU’RE NOT MENTIONED! Lets be clear!!! Especially when NO ONE knew yo ass.

What pissed me off about Lee was, after the OSCARS , he wanted to talk about her retaliation and her not cooperating. But that negro didn’t tell you NOT ONE TIME about that $50,000, and that he participated for the movie to go straight to DVD. And see people didn’t know the back story THEN, because Monique didn’t allow the dots to connect with us at that time. I saw all the interviews, but I still couldn’t understand for the life of me, why wasn’t she “Acting right” by promoting the movie.   I wondered why is she acting “childish” saying she’s busy and all this other subliminal stuff. And by NOT telling the WHOLE STORY,  she left the door open to work with Lee again, but this time she knew her worth!

So, EMPIRE came up.

Lee wanted to work with Monique again. He also wanted to make that PUNK ASS $50,000 RIGHT!!! I dont know if he wrote those emails or had them sent TO HER  for “show,” to say, I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU, knowing full well, by him mentioning those black balled statements  on TV that EMPIRE FOX didn’t want to have anything to do with her. And if Lee did go to FOX and say I want Monique for this role, did THEY SAY… NAW WE AINT MESSING WITH HER and went with Taraji?  Either way it WENT he has a way of clearing that flaming ass of his.

There is a LESSON to be learned in all of this. For one I know Tyler Perry and Oprah get it! KNOWING that your name carries WEIGHT. Make sure that before you put your name on ANYTHING,   that everyone is paid their due.!!!!!!! FLAT OUT!! Nothing wrong with supporting a movie, just know your name carries weight, because if an actor sign on to make $6.00 for a movie, and then here YALL  2 powerhouses COME that causes the value of the movie to go up, THEN make sure those people are getting paid well  before you attach your name. LETS ALL MAKE MONEY. If the studio cant agree to go back and renegotiate contracts.. OH WELL… then dont put your name to it. Because the actors will get cut out of the extra money.  So to avoid that, when the movie comes out, just say how much you loved it. Just make sure those people  are paid their worth. Oh they can’t because that’s NOT HOW IT GOES!!

I felt that Monique shouldn’t have said the d@@@ part in her stand up. I think that went too far, and I think she held her anger in too long about how she was feeling…. which of course would cause her to react that way.

I believe that she MAY have felt that Tyler and Oprah KNEW how much she got paid for her role, and because they loved the movie SO MUCH they decided to PROMOTE it ANYWAY.  Feeling that it may win an OSCAR. Even though they felt she was UNDERPAID. They went to her AT DIFFERENT TIMES and “TRIED TO MAKE IT RIGHT” by saying.. LOOK if you promote the movie, go to the premiere, and do the interviews, and EVERYTHING LIONSGATE ASK OF YOU ((( with that same ass  $50,000 you got paid, because they DON’T hand out allowances for that)))  IN THE END MONIQUE…. it will pay off. You will get calls and roles you’ve never dreamed of. They will pay you your worth and you’ll make more money than you ever had. But it didn’t work out that way… LEE DANIELS had already MESSED THAT UP, when he went on TV shows running his mouth! By putting the black balled story out there for not promoting the movie , and for being difficult to work with .. and Imma say this again… I CAN SPEND $50,000 IN 2 HOURS… THAT AINT NOTHING!

Tyler introduced it to HIS audience on Oct 5, 2009 to HIS fans, the movie premiered in US on November 6, 2009. 1.5 million DVDs sold in its first week of release. The movie was made for 10 million dollars, it made $63.6 MILLION DOLLARS…. and Monique received $50.000!!!

THAT’S WHY MONIQUE IS PISSED OFF!

My name is LACREASE AND I DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE!

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