Happy Happy New Year!
This year I have purposely taken the time out to get to know myself. I did that by paying attention to the things I like and to what I don’t like. It has helped me to give attention to those things that are important to me, and to leave those things that are not. I am really proud of myself, because I took the time to focus on ME. I’m always, always loving on others and being their biggest cheerleader, when I learned that I need to find out what it is that makes me ……La’Crease J. Walker.
I had to ask God, why do I love being alone so much? My friends always ask when are you going to do lunch or dinner? I love my friends and I would love to go and eat (( are you kidding me)) I realized that I’m more of a listener than a person who have something to share. I find myself having to be in the mood to listen, and when I think about that sometimes, I just want to stay HOME. I believe that I am just so boring and wonder why people always want to be around me. I am funny and very silly, but still I’m very boring.
For as long as I can remember, I have always had company at my place. I love to cook for my friends, and love to talk junk and laugh. When I started driving at 32, I no longer wanted to have company over, because I wanted to be out and about. I didn’t want to go over to anyone’s place, I wanted to travel. I wanted to go to concerts, and plays. No one wanted to do that. They wanted to sit up and play cards, drink, or go out clubbing. I had a car, I didn’t want to sit in my house anymore and that’s when I had to start regrouping myself. God showed me that when I had company everyday (( and there is NOTHING wrong with that)) that I was training people how to treat me. I did enjoy my company. But things changed in me when I started driving. And that’s okay too.
Then there came a time when I wanted to travel and go to concerts. I realized many years later, that those same people didn’t want to go to the concerts I liked. And that was cool too. I was traveling to Atlanta and Chicago a lot with OTHER friends. I went to Universal Studios in Florida 2 times stayed a whole week, that wasn’t with my card playing friends, it was with others. I traveled to New York 3 times with other friends. I went on a cruise this year for a week, and when I wanted to go back for next year, there were problems with friends. Its always so important to find like minded friends to do the things you like to do in life.
As time when by, I had to learn to travel alone. I will hop in my car and go to Atlanta so quick by myself. I’ll ask once, maybe twice, but after that I’m gone. I have went to so many plays and concerts alone. I go out to dinner and the movies alone. I got tired of begging people to do things with me, if they couldn’t go I had to branch out there and do it alone.
One thing that I notice about myself… is when I do go out with friends to a movie, dinner, concert, or anything else… I HAVE A BALL!!! I have always, ALWAYS. ALWAYS had fun.
So for 2018, my goal is to do more with my friends. I love my friends. I’m just a NERD right now and it has nothing to do WITH THEM AT ALL…. it has everything do to with MEEEEEEE. I promise to initiate dinner, movies, a concert or play with them. I have figured out why I was “crazy person” with them, now its time to realize that they love me and I love them and time is ticking for all of us. And at the end of the day, I can go home and BE ALONE! That’s the great part!
Recall a time in your childhood when a friend or relative helped to change you in a important way?
My Aunt Wana! She’s my mom’s only sibling and baby Sister. When she use to pick us up and take us to her house or we’ll go to one of her friends house. We would be in the room playing , and no matter how much fun they were having she would always cut off from them and come peep in the room and ask us ” Are yall okay?” She wouldn’t depend on the normal “YES”, she would look us ALL in our eyes to make sure that we were really Okay. She wasn’t leaving that room, until she was satisfied with the desire results she came for.
In my kid mind, I saw that they were having so much fun. They were playing cards, music, dancing, drinking, eating, laughing and talking to each other. I couldn’t understand then, why she use to come check up on us so many times. But she knew. She knew what could happen in a few minutes, she knew that someone could be hurt and she couldn’t see them. She knew that kids say everything is fine, when something else could be going on. To her, it didn’t matter how much fun she was having, she took a break from her fun to make sure we were okay. That stuck with me to this day.
When my daughter was a kid and had company, I would do the very same thing. I dont care how much laughing I was doing with my friends, I had to make sure the kids was okay. I had to look them in their eyes to make sure no one is crying for help and I over looked it. I had to know before I close that door and go back to my friends that these kids were alright.
That changed me in a important way, because it lets me know that no matter how busy God seem to a person, he ALWAYS check in on his kids! US! We are never alone, and he always watches over us no matter what. He will never leave us to do what we want without checking in. When it seems as if he’s not around, he is always PRESENT!
How do you “hear” God?
I hear God by KNOWING that the words spoken in my mind/soul/heart are NOT words I would say myself.
The best way for me to explain this is by stories of my Life Lessons.
One day I was at the red light, on the over pass, on my way to work, when I heard God say.. LaCrease pray RIGHT NOW as if today was your last day living. He said PRAY NOW. At first I thought I was tripping, because it was with urgency and he said before the light turn green. I remember saying.. God right now? He said pray NOW. I remember saying Lord Thank you for my life, my family that you hand picked for me. Forgive me for all my Sins, known and unknown. I told him that I wanted to LIVE with him forever. Then….. the light turned green and I was about to enter I-94. As I was driving, I’m thinking okay what is God up too, what is going on? He knows I ask a lot of questions and think a lot. I’m wondering if I was about to die, I didn’t know what was happening, but I PRAYED just as he told me.
I’m driving and JUST LIKE THAT… I started thinking about something else, and forgot all about the prayer I just prayed.
Just as I turned the radio on, and continued to drive to work.. all I saw was BRIGHT RED LIGHTS in front of me. People were breaking hard in front of me. I didn’t know what was going on to cause this all of a sudden STOP. The truck in front of me was blocking my view so I had to rely on him when to stop breaking. All of a sudden, he swerved over to the left, and that’s when I was able to see what he was seeing. When he swerved over I was RIGHT THERE about to run in the back of another TRUCK/SUV HARD!!!! When I say HARD… There was NO WAY in this world I would have survived that accident. NO WAY!!!! I WAS DEAD!!! The truck that swerved over to the left allowed me to see that HE was about to run into the back of another SUV truck. Once I saw what he saw, not only was I BREAKING REALLY HARD.. but I didn’t have enough time to stop, so I to had to swerve to the left.. THANK GOD NO OTHER CAR WAS THERE.
I would have DIED.. The impact would have crushed the front end of my car so badly, that it would have blew my chest out. It gave me a headache so badly. It never went away that day. My breaks took a beating too. LOL I went to work feeling so Thankful, I couldn’t stop thinking about God and HOW I HEARD HIS VOICE. This is one of the many stories I share with people all the time. You have to tune into that still voice.
Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting
Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring. It means trusting and allowing things to be tended by God. When have you done this in your life? What happened?
When I moved back home from Atlanta.
I’ve been wanting to move there since I was 22 years old (( now 50)). I moved Sep 3, 2012 on my Birthday, NEVER telling anyone how much pain I was REALLY in concerning my leg and barely being able to walk. One day before moving to Atlanta, I woke up unable to walk from the pain in my left calf area. When I got there I went on a interview and barely made it up the flight of stairs. I knew then, that I would never be able to stand at a job for 8 hours. I knew that if I went back home, I could get well, and go back to my old job of 9 years, but I was determined to stay there and make it. I was so depressed when I was there. I knew it would get better, but when? I had been waiting my whole life to move there, only to get there and not be able to walk.
At this point, I had made up in my mind that I was going back home to Detroit. So, one day I went on line looking for apartments, when I came across this one Downtown. I thought, I could never live there. I always wanted to live Downtown Detroit, but knew the rent was too high. But this one kept standing out to me, KNOWING I COULDN’T AFFORD IT!!! That’s when I heard God say, YOU WILL LIVE THERE! I knew it was him speaking because I know his voice, I wouldn’t TELL MYSELF THIS. Simply because I already came to MY OWN CONCLUSION that I couldn’t afford it. I immediately made an appointment to see it, while I was still in Atlanta. I had money, but I didn’t have the strength to stay while in so much pain.
I drove home from Atlanta and had to move in with my daughter, which killed me as a MOTHER because I wanted her to enjoy her new place. But she welcomed me, and saw how much pain I was in. When I say she nursed me back to health, mentality and Spiritually….. She did that! Not only that, but her DOWNTOWN apartment was around the corner from the one I made an appointment with. Never knew that when God told me I would move there.
The day after I made it back to Detroit, I went to see the apartment and I HATED IT. Told God I will NEVER EVER MOVE THERE!!!!!! EVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! I hated everything about it. Only 1 of the 3 elevators were working. There were ” Under Construction” notices everywhere. The atmosphere was terrible. The apartment that I saw was nice, but it needed upgrading, it was not enough for me to move in. I did LOVE how they kept the grounds up. I loved the Downtown location, but I hated all the construction going on. I just couldn’t see the vision.
I went back to my daughter’s apartment and told her how I hated it and that I was DONE!!! Told her, I would NEVER EVER move over there. I was done with everything. I couldn’t walk, didn’t want to go back to my job of 9 years. I was DONE!!!! Then I caught a bad cold, I was depressed and even got into the worst argument with my brother in all of our life. I cried everyday, all day, the moment my daughter left out for work. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. I cried so much that I told God that if he gave me until a certain date (( cant remember it )) that I would stop, just allow me to keep crying. That day came… and I gave everything to GOD. Total Surrender!!
A few months later, my daughter was working to help a young lady find a apartment, without remembering the building I went to when I first came home, she told me she went to see one. I remember saying to her, “THAT’S THE SAME APARTMENT I LOOKED AT”. She said momma its nice over there, they’re doing repairs and the apartments are nice. She went on and on about how they looked. The way she talked about this building made me want to see it again for myself. So, it made me wonder if I was just depressed and down at that time that I was over looking the potential of the building.
The very next day I made an appointment to see it again. I fell in LOVE. I don’t know how I over looked how well the building would look as it came together with the repairs. It was like I had a new set of eyes. I applied that same day! The lady called me 3 days later and told me to come and pick up my keys that was Dec of 2012. God told me that I would move there, and today I’ve been here for almost 5 years. Shortly after, I moved my parents DIRECTLY AROUND the corner. I stayed in my original apartment for 2 years, then they told me that when my lease was up that I could move into a BRAND NEW APARTMENT.
My APARTMENT IS BRAND NEW! ALL NEW EVERYTHING!!! I’M THE FIRST PERSON TO LIVE HERE WITH THIS UPGRADE. God told me that I would live here, even when I said NEVER and never thought about it again. When I gave up the control and trusted God that’s when I Surrendered. I’ve been at PEACE and happy ever since!!! I LOVE not only my apartment… but my DOWNTOWN LIVING! It happened just as God said it would. Thank you Lord! You gave me my hearts desire, forgetting that I prayed to live Downtown a long time ago. Thank you!
Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting
What was the first Spiritual seed that was planted in your soul?
It would surely be the time when I was about 19 or 20. I love to walk, so one day I told my dad that I was going to take a walk, but the neighborhood that I wanted to walk through wasn’t safe. Especially for me to walk alone. Well, I felt that I was grown, and decided to walk it anyway. He had his opinion about it, and I was cool with that. But I wanted to go, and I did.
I walked to my aunt’s house, but didn’t go in, it was getting dark so I turned around and started heading home. As I was walking, I came to this alley and before I crossed it, I looked down it to make sure no one was coming. Lots of women were getting raped in alleys back in those days, not to mention how creepy they were. As I’m staring down this alley so tough as I pass it, there was this long tree branch that hung over into the sidewalk AT THE ALLEY to where you can’t see whats in front of you until you pass it. Well, just as I passed it, there was this man RIGHT THERE walking towards me. This man scared me so bad, that it felt as if my heart jumped out of my body!!! I just knew that I wouldn’t see my family again. To this day, I can never think of a time, where my heart was beating so fast. All I could think of was what my daddy told me about that neighborhood. His whole conversation played in my mind in this moment. I DID NOT SEE THIS MAN AT ALL BECAUSE OF THE TREE BRANCHES. Thing was, he was only walking just as I was. He didn’t want any trouble, he only wanted to pass me so that he could get to where he was going.
That’s when I heard God speak to me, so loud and so clear FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME as I hurried home. He said to me. Your dad was only protecting you from the dangers that you cannot see. He told you NOT to walk this neighborhood but you did it anyway. He said that man was only there to show you what you cant see.
All the way home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what God said to me, and how I heard his voice for the very first time. I will never ever, ever, ever forget that experience and how I disobeyed my dad. God showed me that no matter how grown I am, he is always present, and that I shouldn’t ignore sound advice ((( FROM ANYONE))) just because I’m grown.
Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s Book Higher Is Waiting
In 1997, I was a Cosmetics Coordinator at Arbor Drug store. I remember so clearly when a guy came up to me and started talking. He was good looking, tall, goatee, pretty teeth, great conversation, and had the prettiest eyes you ever want to see on a man. After we introduced ourselves, we exchanged phone numbers. Back then, we didn’t carry cell phones, but we did have pagers, whenever I paged him he would call right back. We would talk on the phone at night for hours and hours and hours. That was the one thing I loved about him. He spent a lot of time with me and gave me the attention I needed.
I introduced him to my daughter (( something I never did unless I REALLY like the guy)) and he introduced me to his daughter. The more we got to know each other, the more time we spent together. One day he wanted his mom to meet me over the phone, because she lived out of town. I really enjoyed talking with her. Then he wanted me to meet his sister her husband, and their kids. I knew he liked me seriously when he wanted me to meet his family. I was nervous when I met them, but once we got to talking, it was clear that his family was a very Spiritual one. They went to Church, and you can tell in their walk, that they were good people. That was the thing that attracted me to him. He loved the Lord, he knew that Bible so well, if you didn’t know any better you would have thought he was the Co-writer of it. We would talk for hours about God, and the more we talked about him, the more I liked this guy.
I loved when he came to see me, because he was so gentle and easy going, we would have so much fun together. I can’t even think of a time where we had a deep argument or disagreement.
He shared with me that all through school he was very smart. After High School he went to the Navy and after he did his years, he got out. This was the reason why he was staying with his Sister and her husband. He also mentioned he was once married, but then divorced and that his daughter was from his marriage.
I had a habit of putting my pop in the freezer and forgetting about it, and he couldn’t stand that. LOL So this one night after taking it out of the freezer, I came out with my camera to take photos. I snapped the photo as he wasn’t looking, and when he heard the snap he turned to the camera. He said did you just take a photo of me? I said yes, why you don;t like taking pictures? He said No, I hate it, he said promise me when you take them that you would give them to me. I said, I won’t take any more, but why you don’t want me to have the two I just took, he said because I need you to throw them out. He made me promise that I would get rid of them. But that only made me want to keep them for “whatever” reason. I got them back, but I couldn’t tell him so I kept the photos to myself.
One day I received a phone call from the county jail. It was him. I accepted his phone call, and was shocked to learn that he was locked up. He told me that the reason why he was in jail was because of a drug charge years prior. All I wanted to know was how long he was going to be locked up, and when can I go see him. I remember him calling me everyday all day.
He told me that he was going to put me on his visitors list so that when his day come for visits I could see him. That day came and my friend took me to see him. Once I got there, I was told that I wasn’t on his list. That puzzled me, because I had spoken with him that day. I was feeling some kind of way, I was mad. I went home and waited for his call. He finally called that day and told me that it was a mistake and that he missed me and wanted me to make sure that I saw him the following week. I had to tell my family and friends that I didn’t see him . I was feeling down, but I looked forward to the next week.
The following week came and I was dressed up ready to go and see my baby. My friend picked me up and I was on my way again. Once I got there, they told me that he had gotten into a fight and couldn’t have visitors. I was pissed!!! I kept thinking why is this grown man constantly getting in trouble? He knows how much we want to see each other, why is he letting others put him in position for trouble? Again, when he was able he called and told me about the fight, which I didn’t want to hear. That was it, I wasn’t going to see him again. We’d just have to talk over the phone, and write each other.
After so many calls, my phone went off and I wasn’t about to accept charges from my “GOOD PHONE”. We starting communicating through mail. He knew I wasn’t coming to see him again. By this time, he had been locked up for a while, and I was wondering when he was getting out?
One night, … it was after 2 am in the morning, I was sleep. My phone rang, and It was his SISTER. She said LaCrease, I’m sorry to wake you up, but God told me to call you. That got my attention, so I sat up in bed and listened to what she had to say. She went on to say… I know you’re a Christian, and I know how you feel about my brother, but I can’t rest until I tell you this. She said my brother is not in jail for drugs years ago, he’s in jail for stealing in the mall. I was shocked and ANGRY!!! I wonder why would he lie like that. She said no matter what you do.. please DO NOT tell my brother, I’m calling you with this. I told her that I PROMISE. I told her that I would never cause drama in her family like that. I Thanked her, and hung up the phone.
I was DONE WITH HIM!! DONE!
About 4 months had passed and he was STILL IN JAIL. By this time, my feelings for him was over. He lied, and anytime a SISTER CALL YOU AND WIRE YOU UP ABOUT THEIR OWN BROTHER… BELIEVE HER!
Finally the day came when he was released, he was at my job looking good. He told me that he was coming over later on that night and to be honest I was looking forward to talking with him. In my mind the relationship was over and he pretty much knew that because of the lack of communication I put in. But also for the LIE he told and what I couldn’t tell him I knew.
That night he didn’t come and he didn’t call to say why. Yes, I said to myself this was going to be even easier that I thought. As the days went by, I didn’t see him, but he would call to see how I was doing. I was happy that I was over him, and that we had drifted apart. One day he called me and told me that he met this guy in jail and that he introduced him to his cousin and that he was seeing her now that he was home. I was so happy. God has a way of separating people without saying a word sometimes.
One day, he called me and asked if he could stop by with his daughter, who was my daughters age. I told him yes. I wanted to see him and hear how he was doing. The kids were outside playing, but we went in to talk. He couldn’t keep his hands off me. He kept saying that he wanted to have sex. I told him NO! I was getting mad and he knew it, next thing I know he threw me on the couch, and was trying to take my clothes off. He was taking over me, that’s when I said.. “So you’re going to rape me while our kids are outside and can come in anytime?” That’s when he stopped and LEFT. I wonder if he would have stopped if his daughter wasn’t over?
In the days to come. He would knock on my door at night and I would never answer. I didn’t trust him at all. I didn’t want to see him again, so I moved!!!!! I moved back with my parents until I found me a place.
One day RIGHT AFTER I MOVED, I went to the store and as I was leaving, I glanced over at the Detroit News and saw his picture on the FRONT PAGE. I was SHOCKED, AND NERVOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I grabbed the paper and went to pay for it. When I got to my mom’s house I couldn’t put it down. Never in a million years did I expect this man to do what he did. I was nervous and out done at the same time. I started thinking about how I knew he was still stopping by my old apartment and I was glad I was gone. He never knew where my parents stayed and I was BLESSED ABOUT IT!
I read the paper IN PURE HORROR!!! I found out this man…… strangled his girlfriend, KILLED HER, wrapped her up in a hotel blanket, put her in the trunk of her own car, and SET IT ON FIRE! The fire department never opened the trunk, they found her body after she was reported missing. She was a 3rd grade teacher.
He was on the run! Took them a long time to catch him, but they finally did. In court his Sister said… “he made a lovely life swindling the ladies, he did what he was good at conning women.” Wow. looking back 19 almost 20 years later. He never asked me for a dime. Never showed me any signs of this behavior at all… until he tried to rape me.
This man got over $7.000 from this woman, he also took her jewelry worth over $4000.00 to the pawn shop and got money. He was with his other girlfriend when they did it. IT CAME OUT IN COURT, when he was with me… he was married to 3 WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!! I never knew that at all. When it was all said and done…. He’s in jail FOR LIFE. NEVER TO COME HOME AGAIN.
God always send people that I would never have thought, to give me a message. He has done it 3 times. They were ALL RIGHT! GOD SENT THEM TO ME…
God loves me. He LOVES ME. He has always saved me from people who meant me NO GOOD. I ASKED HIM… AM I DUMB? Why can’t I see this in these people? You think you know….. YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE PEOPLE HE HAS SENT MY WAY. I LOVE THEM ALL.
THANK YOU LORD, THANK YOU JESUS FOR SPARING MY LIFE. FOR SAVING ME. FOR SENDING THOSE YOU SPOKE TOO, FOR THEM OBEYING, AND FOR ME LISTENING.