The BIG Picture/BLOG

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Being the oldest, is hard work. I’m 50 years old and I still ask God why did you make me the OLDEST?

I ask this question so often that every time I make a decision, give advice or opinion, he always whisper to me… “THAT’S WHY YOU’RE THE OLDEST.”

Growing up I always wanted to be a Teacher or a Lawyer. I love reading , I love teaching people what I learned (( especially my siblings)) then I pass it down to others.

I’ve always had the ability to see the BIGGER PICTURE. To see the situation out in its entirety. I don’t know if I learned this from my parents growing up, or if God gave me these gifts to help myself and others. Let me give an example.

A woman purposely threw a cellphone of the person they were mad at and broke it. He was mad,  she apologized. She promised him that when she got paid she would buy him another phone. Well, before that time came, he made her mad again, she told him that she wasn’t going to replace the phone. This made him angry.

That day he PROMISED her in text messages that he was going to get her back ((REVENGE)) for it. After she sent me all the back and forth texts I told her that I was scared and that he might do something real bad to her. Her text back to me was : “You keep saying that like you want him too.”  (( I told her  this many times in the past, the way their relationship is, someone is going to get hurt one day.”)) I was done. Shocked. Mad at her.

That VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY same night, while she was in the shop getting braids done, he came and knifed all 4 BRAND NEW tires.

I was one of the first people she called. I love my friend and will always be there for her, I just know with her……. I have to step back and let things happen.

I can always see the BIGGER PICTURE. You cant do something to someone these days and not expect for them to do something back. When you do A. to someone, expect them to do B. to you. Not everyone will do A. to you, those are the ones who have enough sense to know that this person cannot be trusted, and not to deal with them anymore. Because they’re the ones who will cause you to get in BIGGER TROUBLE. Sooner or later playing these types of games.. someone is going to get mad and do something about it.

Many people have came to me and told me things before they happened, and I didn’t listen…. but I listen now.

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What I Learned About Myself in 2017/BLOG 2

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Hey Family!!!!

Well, I wanted to hit 100,000  views before the New Year, but I was busy so I didn’t get a chance to hit my blog like I wanted, but its okay.

Like I mentioned in my other blog, I have taken inventory of my life and my short comings and I see where I need to do better.

I have this BAD habit of having a DEEP desire to “help” people. When people come to me and they want to talk about a situation or anything going on with them, and I’ve been down that same “street” before, I want to help them. But it always seem to back fire on me.

I think I put too much time and care into it more than them. As long as its bad, they want to talk about it all day and night with me, text, call, anything to get my attention, and I give them that energy. Because I understand, I care. I get it. But then when something happens and they go back to the same ole ways, they don’t want to talk about it. Then days later, its back to all day and all night conversations about it. Its so funny. Because I am really being nice and caring. I INVEST TOO MUCH TIME INTO SUPPORTING OTHERS. I’m at the point were we don’t never, ever have to talk about THEIR situation again. Most times I don’t want to anyway. I do it because I know what its like to need someone to listen. But I’m done with that.

I know how it feels to be in certain situations, and having experienced it myself. I only try to give good advice if I have been through it, anything else I’m just a listener. As soon as they feel that things are going great for them in that situation, and I don’t say a word, they always have to test me, to see if I’m still readily engaged. And my face will continue to be TWISTED. Nope, don’t want to talk about, cant take  the advice YOU asked for, lets cut the whole head off!

That has STOPPED TODAY!

I have done so many people this way, now that I realized it. Not spending this year listening to other people’s story. Your situation… YOUR PROBLEMS.. I TAKE MINES TO GOD… FOLLOW SUIT

I’m about to BLAZE MY OWN TRAIL! WATCH ME!

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What I Learned About Myself in 2017/BLOG 1

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This year I have purposely taken the time out to get to know myself. I did that by paying attention to the things I like and to what I don’t like. It has helped me to give attention to those things that are important to me, and to leave those things that are not. I am really proud of myself, because I took the time to focus on ME. I’m always, always loving on others and being their biggest cheerleader, when I learned that I need to find out what it is that makes me ……La’Crease J. Walker.

I had to ask God, why do I love being alone so much? My friends always ask when are you going to do lunch or dinner? I love my friends and I would love to go and eat (( are you kidding me)) I realized that I’m more of a listener than a person who have something to share. I find myself having to be in the mood to listen, and when I think about that sometimes, I just want to stay HOME. I believe that I am just so boring and wonder why people always want to be around me. I am funny and very silly, but still I’m very boring.

For as long as I can remember, I have always had company at my place. I love to cook for my friends, and love to talk junk and laugh. When I started driving at 32, I no longer wanted to have company over, because I wanted to be out and about. I didn’t want to go over to anyone’s place,  I wanted to travel. I wanted to go to concerts, and plays. No one wanted to do that. They wanted to sit up and play cards, drink, or go out clubbing. I had a car, I didn’t want to sit in my house anymore and that’s when I had to start regrouping  myself. God showed me that when I had company everyday (( and there is NOTHING wrong with that)) that I was training people how to treat me. I did enjoy my company. But things changed in me when I started driving. And that’s okay too.

Then there came a time when I wanted to travel and go to concerts. I realized many years later, that those same people didn’t want to go to the concerts I liked. And that was cool too. I was traveling to Atlanta and Chicago a lot with OTHER friends. I went to Universal Studios in Florida 2 times stayed a whole week, that wasn’t with my card playing friends, it was with others. I traveled to New York 3 times with other friends. I went on a cruise this year for a week, and when I wanted to go back for next year, there were problems with friends. Its always so important to find like minded friends to do the things you like to do in life.

As time when by, I had to learn to travel alone. I will hop in my car and go to Atlanta so quick by myself. I’ll ask once, maybe twice, but after that I’m gone. I have went to so many plays and concerts alone. I go out to dinner and the movies alone. I got tired of begging people to do things with me, if they couldn’t go I had to branch out there and do it alone.

One thing that I notice about myself… is when I do go out with friends to a movie, dinner, concert, or anything else… I HAVE A BALL!!! I have always, ALWAYS. ALWAYS had fun.

So for 2018, my goal is to do more with my friends. I love my friends. I’m just a NERD right now and it has nothing to do WITH THEM AT ALL…. it has everything do to with MEEEEEEE. I promise to initiate dinner, movies, a concert or play with them. I have figured out why I was “crazy person” with them, now its time to realize that they love me and I love them and time is ticking for all of us. And at the end of the day, I can go home and BE ALONE! That’s the great part!

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Higher Is Waiting Question 4/BLOG

 

Recall a time in your childhood when a friend or relative helped to change you in a important way?

My Aunt Wana! She’s my mom’s only sibling and baby Sister. When she use to pick us up and take us to her house or we’ll go to one of her friends house. We would be in the room playing , and no matter how much fun they were having she would always cut off from them and come peep in the room and ask us ” Are yall okay?” She wouldn’t depend on the normal “YES”, she would look us ALL in our eyes to make sure that we were really Okay. She wasn’t leaving that room, until she was satisfied with the desire results she came for.

In my kid mind, I saw that they were having so much fun. They were playing cards,  music, dancing, drinking, eating, laughing and talking to each other. I couldn’t understand then, why she use to come check up on us so many times. But she knew. She knew what could happen in a few minutes, she knew that someone could be hurt and she couldn’t see them. She knew that kids say everything is fine, when something else could be going on. To her, it didn’t matter how much fun she was having, she took a break from her fun to make sure we were okay. That stuck with me to this day.

When my daughter was a kid and had company, I would do the very same thing. I dont care how much laughing I was doing with my friends, I had to make sure the kids was okay. I had to look them in their eyes to make sure no one is crying for help and I over looked it. I had to know before I close that door and go back to my friends that these kids were alright.

That changed me in a important way, because it lets me know that no matter how busy God seem to a person, he ALWAYS check in on his kids! US! We are never alone, and he always watches over us no matter what. He will never leave us to do what we want without checking in. When it seems as if he’s not around, he is always PRESENT!

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Higher Is Waiting Question 3/BLOG

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How do you “hear” God?

I hear God by KNOWING that the words spoken in my mind/soul/heart are NOT words I would say myself.

The best way for me to explain this is by stories of my Life Lessons.

One day I was at the red light, on the over pass, on my way to work, when I heard God say.. LaCrease pray RIGHT NOW as if today was your last day living. He said PRAY NOW. At first I thought I was tripping, because it was with urgency and he said before the light turn green. I remember saying.. God right now? He said pray NOW. I remember saying Lord Thank you for my life, my family that you hand picked for me. Forgive me for all my Sins, known and unknown. I told him that I wanted to LIVE with him forever. Then….. the light turned green and I was about to enter I-94. As I was driving, I’m thinking okay what is God up too, what is going on? He knows I ask a lot of questions and think a lot. I’m wondering if I was about to die, I didn’t know what was happening, but I PRAYED just as he told me.

I’m driving and JUST LIKE THAT… I started thinking about something else, and forgot all about the prayer I just prayed.

Just as I turned the radio on, and continued to drive to work.. all I saw was BRIGHT RED LIGHTS in front of me. People were breaking hard in front of me. I didn’t know what was going on to cause this all of a sudden STOP. The truck in front of me was blocking my view so I had to rely on him when to stop breaking. All of a sudden, he swerved over to the left, and that’s when I was able to see what he was seeing. When he swerved over I was RIGHT THERE about to run in the back of another TRUCK/SUV HARD!!!! When I say HARD… There was NO WAY in this world I would have survived that accident.  NO WAY!!!! I WAS DEAD!!! The truck that swerved over to the left  allowed me to see that HE was about to run into the back of another SUV truck. Once I saw what he saw, not only was I BREAKING REALLY HARD.. but I didn’t have enough time to stop, so I to had to swerve to the left.. THANK GOD NO OTHER CAR WAS THERE.

I would have DIED.. The impact would have crushed the front end of my car so badly, that it would have blew my chest out. It gave me a headache so badly. It never went away that day. My breaks took a beating too. LOL I went to work feeling so Thankful, I couldn’t stop thinking about God and HOW I HEARD HIS VOICE. This is one of the many stories I share with people all the time. You have to tune into that still voice.

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting

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Higher Is Waiting Question 2/BLOG

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Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring. It means trusting and allowing things to be tended by God. When have you done this in your life? What happened?

When I moved back home from Atlanta.

I’ve been wanting to move there since I was 22 years old (( now 50)). I moved Sep 3, 2012 on my Birthday, NEVER telling anyone how much pain I was REALLY in concerning my leg and barely being able to walk. One day before moving to Atlanta, I woke up unable to walk from the pain in my left calf area. When I got there I went on a interview and barely made it up the flight of stairs. I knew then, that I would never be able to stand at a job for 8 hours. I knew that if I went back home, I could get well, and go back to my old job of 9 years, but I was determined to stay there and make it.  I was so depressed when I was there.  I knew it would get better, but when? I had been waiting my whole life to move there, only to get there and not be able to walk.

At this point, I had made up in my mind that I was going back home to Detroit. So, one day I went on line looking for apartments, when I came across this one  Downtown. I thought, I could never live there. I always wanted to live Downtown Detroit, but knew the rent was too high. But this one kept standing out to me, KNOWING I COULDN’T AFFORD IT!!! That’s when I heard God say, YOU WILL LIVE THERE! I knew it was him speaking because I know his voice, I wouldn’t TELL MYSELF THIS.  Simply because I already came to MY OWN CONCLUSION that I couldn’t afford it. I immediately made an appointment to see it, while I was still in Atlanta. I had money, but I didn’t have the strength to stay while in so much pain.

I drove home from Atlanta and had to move in with my daughter, which killed me as a MOTHER because I wanted her to enjoy her new place. But she welcomed me, and saw how much pain I was in. When I say she nursed me back to health, mentality and Spiritually….. She did that! Not only that, but her DOWNTOWN apartment was around the corner from the one I made an appointment with. Never knew that when God told me I would move there.

The day after I made it back to Detroit, I went to see the apartment and I HATED IT. Told God I will NEVER EVER MOVE THERE!!!!!! EVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! I hated everything about it. Only 1 of the 3 elevators were working. There were ” Under Construction” notices everywhere. The atmosphere was terrible. The apartment that I saw was nice, but it needed upgrading, it was not enough for me to move in. I did LOVE how they kept the grounds up. I loved the Downtown location, but I hated all the construction going on. I just couldn’t see the vision.

I went back to my daughter’s apartment and told her how I hated it and that I was DONE!!! Told her, I would NEVER EVER move over there. I was done with everything. I couldn’t walk, didn’t want to go back to my job of 9 years. I was DONE!!!! Then I caught a bad cold,  I was depressed and even got into the worst argument with my brother in all of our life. I cried everyday, all day, the moment my daughter left out for work. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. I cried so much that I told God that if he gave me until a certain date (( cant remember it )) that I would stop, just allow me to keep crying. That day came… and I gave everything to GOD. Total Surrender!!

A few months later, my daughter was working to help a young lady find a apartment, without remembering the building I went to when I first came home, she told me she went to see one. I remember saying to her, “THAT’S THE SAME APARTMENT I LOOKED AT”. She said momma its nice over there, they’re doing repairs and the apartments are nice. She went on and on about how they looked.  The way she talked about this building made me want to see it again for myself. So, it made me wonder if I was just depressed and down at that time that I was over looking the potential of the building.

The very next day I made an appointment to see it again. I fell in LOVE. I don’t know how I over looked how well the building would look as it came together with the repairs. It was like I had a new set of eyes. I applied that same day! The lady called me 3 days later and told me to come and pick up my keys that was Dec of 2012. God told me that I would move there, and today I’ve been here for almost 5 years. Shortly after, I moved my parents DIRECTLY AROUND the corner. I stayed in my original apartment for 2 years, then they told me that when my lease was up that I could move into a BRAND NEW APARTMENT.

My APARTMENT IS BRAND NEW! ALL NEW EVERYTHING!!! I’M THE FIRST PERSON TO LIVE HERE WITH THIS UPGRADE. God told me that I would live here, even when I said NEVER and never thought about it again. When I gave up the control and trusted God that’s when I Surrendered. I’ve been at PEACE and happy ever since!!! I LOVE not only my apartment… but my DOWNTOWN LIVING! It happened just as God said it would. Thank you Lord! You gave me my hearts desire, forgetting that I prayed to live Downtown a long time ago. Thank you!

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting

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