I knew this day would come for me. For so long I tried to “fight” it, because I knew that it would require me to be a different person. Not even in a bad way, nothing like that. But in a way that changes the way I communicate with people. I was having this deep conversation with my mother one day, about how strong I come on when I’m expressing myself. I feel that I have to be that way, because I feel that people see me as nice, always in a good mood, friendly, and a Christian who don’t get mad or cuss people out. And more than once, I had to show these people…. I will TEAR THAT AZZ. And I don’t like that.
So, I’ve decided to change the way I communicate. When your dad, mom, sisters, brother and friends tell you that you come on too strong, at some point you have to listen to them. I have learned to tone it down, and ITS SO FUN.. OMGGG. I don’t feel the need to comment on everything. I don’t feel the need to have an opinion about everything. I can just sit back, listen to a conversation and have little to NOTHING to say about it. I’M JUST LOVING IT.
I ALWAYS – ALWAYS felt that I had to live up to what people expected from me. To be their free personal Therapist and give feed back. I’ve always had people sit on my couch and just let it all go. I enjoyed that because it helps me to understand people. To listen to them whenever they called, text, or see me in person. To tell me their story and have an opinion about it. I NOW realized that I don’t have to call my friends everyday and listen to whats going on in their lives. I realized that I don’t have to know whats going on with people, wondering how can I help them. I realized that I don’t have to text long messages to my friends to show them that I care about whats going on with them and their situations. I don’t have to ask 100 questions to show them I love them and interested in their stories. When I showed people that I cared by asking them questions about what we were talking about, they felt that I was being “all in”. HOW THE HELL DID I EVEN THINK THAT I HAD TO “BE THIS PERSON” TO FOLKS IN THE FIRST PLACE? I don’t know. People who know me, knows that I love them and I will always be here to listen…. but its not top priority in my life anymore. I’m done with that.
I realize that I Am LaCrease, I don’t have to do anything else. When I walk into a room people notice and feel my presence. When I speak everyone listens. When I give advice, people Thank me. When people see my face one time, they never forget me. Strangers pray for me on the spot, people adore me. God LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES ME.. I don’t have to do anything else. My job is to show Love to people. I no longer feel that I have to devote hours and conversations to people just so that they know I care, love and feel apart of their world. If you know me, you know how I feel ANYWAY. I am a people person. You know my Character. You know my Personality. I am in search of me.. its my time.
I Am LaCrease, and I don’t have to do anything else.