Happy New Year

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I know its been a while since I’ve blogged, been regrouping myself knowing that this year is going to be my year of $$$. There are so many things I want and need. Places I want to go. I turn 50 this year and I want to go someplace special. I already know what that is, I just need to focus and make it happen.

I know when its time for me to switch up and do things differently because I start to feel differently about my job. I can do it in my sleep, but I am growing, and I want to do something else. I feel as if I’m at a stand still and when I feel like that I start feeling some type of way. My mind always tell me when its time to keep it moving. So with that said, its time!

I’ll keep you guys updated!!

Cree

Meet 6 Beautiful Married Couples/BLOG

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

I absolutely LOVE the way these couples LOVE EACH OTHER.

I decided to put this together because I enjoy looking through the photos of these COUPLES FB pages, just to get a glance of what we all want………. LOVE.  I learned  that ALL of  these couples…LOVE THEIR FAMILIES, LOVE to travel with EACH OTHER, and most importantly, they all LOVE GOD.

These beautiful couples can tell you for themselves the rode to LOVE has not been easy. They will even tell you they’re NOT PERFECT, but they made it. They did the work, they put in the time, they compromised, they put each other first, they will probably tell you, they had to let some people go, and that’s why these marriages are alive and well. NOT ONLY ARE THEY MARRIED, but notice they ALL are WEAR THEIR WEDDING RINGS. WOW.. AMAZING!

I wanted to show the world that REAL LOVE still exist. You don’t have to settle down with just anyone. The person God made for you is out there, and until you get out of these “no-where-going” relationships you’ll NEVER experience the love that these couples share. They should all give us HOPE that one day we too can experience LOVE IN THIS WAY.

My personal thought on all of the couples.

Tim and Karen-I LOVE the way Tim speak on his wife Karen. I LOVE how he LOVES GOD for BLESSING him with HER. I love the way she LOOKS at him when they’re doing videos together. And mostly, I LOVE how he says “MY WIFE”… he makes it SO PERSONAL. They also do videos for married couples and also for singles to learn from them on how to have a Happy Marriage. (( His movie “A Mother’s Love is also on NETFLIX)) Blessing and LOVE to you both.

Toure and Kim- I’ve been knowing Kim since we were teenagers * I’m 49*, she has gone through a lot. And when she told me she had went to school to become a nurse, and later got married to someone she met. I was so happy for her. Even though I’ve never met her husband… I know she’s happy IN LOVE. I love when she post photos of them before Church. They look so good together, and please focus on my favorite photo of her pouring him a drink in his cup. Look at the intense way he LOOKS AT HER.. OMG.. BEAUTIFUL!!! Blessings and LOVE to you both.

Darren and Electria ( Peedie)- My  baby Sister. When I tell you I LOVE THIS MAN for MY sister…no words. He takes care of her, he’s the most attentive man I know. When he comes home from work, he showers, change clothes and want to “hit the streets” with his Wife. Dinner, movies, out of town, cruises… you name it, he wants her right by his side. He loves being with her. He will get up in the middle of the night to buy her soda or juice if she wants. I use to worry about her a lot because of the men she dated, but when she met and married him….those fears went out of the door. He LOVES to travel, and when he does.. SHE’S RIGHT BY HIS SIDE.  My aunt use to tell her all the time, when you get married and stop living in Sin, is when all the blessings will come from GOD… AND OMG… I am a witness to it ALL. Blessings and LOVE to you both.

Wood and Dar’Cella- Wood is not only my first cousin, but he is my favorite. When I first met his girlfriend Dar’Cella (( they were high school sweethearts)) I really liked her. They started coming over to my place and I fell in love with her.I call them… “MY COUSIN WHO MARRIED MY COUSIN.” LOL When I tell you, they’ve been through it all, YOU BETTER HEAR ME WITH YOUR HEART. They stuck by each other through the thick and thin. When he was hospitalized she was with him the whole time, he KNEW, he KNEW, HE KNEW… that he had a WINNER, and that she wasn’t going anywhere. I was so happy to be witness to their wedding ceremony and its been UP FOR THEM EVERY SINCE! Blessings and LOVE to you both.

Vee and Boodang- Boodang is the BROTHER of Dar’Cella. We’ve all always called each other cousins because my cousin married his sister. When I met his wife Vee, and started working with her, I found out she was the sweetest person ever. I love this couple!  By him being a public figure I know it hasn’t always been easy. But let me tell you, one day she was venting on FB, and he commented on her post, saying something like… baaaby we good over here, don’t entertain that… It was the most beautiful thing. Let me tell you why? He did it in LOVE, it wasn’t mean, it wasn’t embarrassing, it was out of the LOVE he have for them, their family, their marriage. She took down the post and THANKED HER HUSBAND….Ahhh it was so beautiful. She respects HIM.. and he respects HER. Blessings and LOVE to you both.

Chauncey and Lakisha-  I met Chauncey many years ago because we lived on the same block. He had to be in high school at that time, but I knew his younger sister because I worked at her and my daughters elementary school.  It was years when I saw him again, grown up and with Lakisha in my line at Walmart. I knew he loved her then, ( they wasn’t married yet)) because of the way they talked to each other. (( Yes, I pay attention to everything)).  They invited me to their wedding and to this day, I’m still mad I couldn’t get the day off. But this is what she wrote  in her “notes” section of FB………I WILL NEVER LOVE NO OTHER MAN THE WAY I LOVE CHAUNCEY. I AM HAPPILY MARRIED .I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD FIND SOMEBODY THAT LOVE ME LIKE CHAUNCEY DO  .I WANT TO STOP BEING SHY WITH CHAUNCEY..I LOVE ME!!!!!!!!! When she looks at him, you KNOW that they’re ONE. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE… how they always spend time with their kids and take family trips. And… Oct 2017, her hubby and friends are going on another cruise. Blessings and LOVE to you both.

My prayer is that the couples will do even more to strengthen their marriages. I pray that you remember the times you took these photos and smile. If you are lacking in any area of your lives, I pray that you DO THE WORK to keep your marriage ALIVE. You all give us hope. You all set the atmosphere. We see you. We live through you. We see God in your marriages. In your eyes, in the time you MAKE for each other. We know that LOVE works as long as we do the work. THANK YOU ALL🙂 God Bless You

Before you scroll down to MEET THE COUPLES…. Know this…. To interfere, cause trouble, and to come in between ANY MARRIED COUPLE…. IS A NO -NO TO GOD…

Mark 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

While putting this together.. I HAD to listen to some inspirational songs filled with LOVE to complete this. Here is a list of songs I used.

Syleena Johnson-All This Way For Love

Stevie Wonder-Sign Sealed Delivered

Pebbles- Always

Phil Perry- Forever

Vaults-One Last Night

To set the MOOD in your VIEWING… here are TWO OF MY FAV. (( PRESS PLAY))

 

Lets MEET THE COUPLES!

Tim and Karen #MEETTHEALEXANDERS

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She writes everything in her journal, I have no idea what is in it, and I will never look. It is her secret place, and I respect it. 🙂

 

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He wrote…. “My Beautiful, Lovely, Adorable wife Karen on her way to work at the ESPY Awards yesterday, she sent me this message from work…
“I LOVE YOU so much for being my HUSBAND and I have NEVER felt like that EVER in my life!!!! Everyone says “I look so happy!” This is because of YOU. Thank you my King! Can’t wait to see how sexy you will look in your new glasses!!!” —– I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!! ❤ PRAISE GOD SHE IS IN MY LIFE – FOREVER!”

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He wrote.. “Man this woman is beautiful! Wow! I married that! 😀 THANK YOU BABY FOR MARRYING ME!!!!!!!”

 

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He wrote…”This was our last dinner at our favorite Cafe in Paris, and she loves this photo of us the most.”

Toure and Kim #MEETTHEKELSEYS

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Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

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He wrote” Celebrating life with my wife.”

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Waikiki, Hawaii.

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He wrote: “Found and save my bby, Kim.

Darren And Electria #MEETTHEJOHNSONS

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He wrote “Love this beautiful woman”

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She wrote “US”

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Wood and Darcella #MEETTHEWOODARDS

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Boodang and Vee #MEETTHEMADISONS

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She wrote…”13 years Married~”

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She wrote…. “Day 3 of Love Your Spouse Challenge…promoting love and unity💕Me and the hubby in Florida~@Ritas getting some of the greatest ice! Lol”

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Chauncey and Takisha #MEETTHEMITCHELLS

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She wrote ” Had lunch with my husband and havin a bad hair day and he didn’t care, he still wanted to take me to lunch!! I love that man”

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She wrote” 😂😂😂 I’m fixin myself & he’s fixing himself

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She wrote” Awww he missed him wife, soon as I got n the bed he got right under me 😍😍

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Digitalino Regular

 

La’Crease’s Ramblings/BLOG

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Last night I was in bed thinking back on some of the things I did as a teenager and in my 20’s and early 30’s and some of those things shock me. But you know I was Thanking God that I have lived long enough to ask for forgiveness and to change my ways. Just think had I died in the mist of  that mess. Some people do. They don’t get a chance to ask God for forgiveness, because  they were still doing wrong before they died. To me that’s one of the hugest blessings, that you can receive. To live long enough to repent of your wrong doings.

When I was dating my daughters father, we would be upstairs in his room when his mother was at Church all day. We knew she didn’t want him to have company when she wasn’t home, but we, being teenagers did it anyway. Well, she use to come home and I’d be up stairs. Even though she never came up there, she would holler up the stairs to let him know she was home. That’s when we knew he had to either sneak me out of the house when her bedroom door was closed, or I had to jump out of his bedroom window and he’d catch me at the side door. LOL Yea….. thinking back on that.  The person I am today, FIRST of all, I would never be in another woman’s home without her consent, for NO REASON. For TWO, I’m not jumping out of nobody’s window!!! We both laugh about that to this day, and we’ve shared this with our daughter, who knows the person I am today and she CANNOT BELIEVE that I jumped out of a window. LOL LOL Me either!!!!

I remember another time, one night I had lots of company over playing cards and drinking with my friends. I knew my landlord was coming over the next morning to collect rent. I lived in an upstairs flat and my friend lived downstairs. I would often leave my door unlocked because it connected to hers and we had kids that loved to play together. Well, after I let my company out that night, I meant to lock my door. I was so drunk that next morning. I woke up to my landlord standing over me trying to get me to wake up!!! I had puke all over the bed and floor, I was HORRIFIED TO SEE HIM. When I share this story with people for a life lesson, they always ask… was he trying to do something to you? And the answer is NOPE, not at all. He was trying to wake me up, because my door was wide open.He thought something was seriously wrong with me. I learned a GREAT LESSON that day. I don’t ever remember getting that drunk again! I was done with that life!

A few nights ago, I had this craaazy dream that I was at my mothers house, a house that’s not in real life at all. But I went to go see her, and when I got up to her apartment, I looked out of the window at my car as I always do. After a few hours had passed, I looked out again and it was gone!!! I was horrified and crying at the same time. We went to look around and to see was it any broken glass anywhere and it wasn’t, So we went back in the house. I couldn’t stop looking out of the window hoping that it would be there, or that I would wake up. Well, after a few hours had passed, I looked out the window again and it was there! In the very same spot. I told my mother and we went to look in it. We were so surprised that it was very brand new in the inside. The car looked the same on the outside, but it was clean inside out. Brand new stereo system, new seats, it even had a sun roof, it was beautiful.I took it for a ride and everything. In the dream we found out that a group of guys were going around taking people’s cars and fixing them up brand new, just to be helpful. They had done many others the same way, be we didn’t know about it. I was happy that everything was nice and new, but hated the fact that I thought I wasn’t going to see it again. Wow, I have the craziest dreams~!!

Talk to yall later

Cree

 

 

 

Family Time/BLOG

Hey Family!

“We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.”

 

How you measure success is by how many people u bless….. 😢😢😢😢

 

Life Lessons @ 49

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Ten things I learned in my life (( I’ll be 50 next year))
1. Opinions are NULL AND VOID, when it’s not your story to begin with. Opinions are conversations about something that always pertain to others and not YOU. Opinions are a voice of hot air, that holds no truth. Opinions often comes from people who don’t share their own personal experiences, because they don’t want you to form one about them.
2. Peace is something you DEMAND! You have the power to transfer it to others. Peace is something you work at, a goal, a daily mindset. If you don’t have Peace at home, its because you cater to chaos, and it will show up in your personal life. Ask God for it, I DEMAND it  for MYSELF!
3. If you raise your child by the standards of God, when they’re older, you won’t have to worry so much about the choices they make, because you taught them well. Don’t give them “the world” because they’ll expect the world to owe them something when you’re no longer raising them.
4. Each friendship and each relationship is here to teach you a LESSON. Ask God why so much pain? Ask him why so much happiness? Never regret who came into your life. Experience is better than OPINIONS any day. Carry the lessons into all your relationships and make better choices.
5. Love is everything.  If we work at a job for years, or a few days, be nice and kind to another…. WE ARE JUST PASSING THROUGH. I want to see God face to face for MYSELF, and if he says I’m going to bring you all the people you came in contact with in your whole life, and based on how YOU MADE THEM FEEL, that’s your JUDGEMENT… HEAVEN OR HELL, what would it be… Oh yes.. you know the answer right now. So, I say Love each other, be mad for a moment if you need too, but make up. Love and family is Everything.
6. Holding grudges or not forgiving someone is like carrying the person/issue around in your purse or pocket. Its not going anywhere. Until you change your purse ((heart)) and decide to leave it out ((forgive)), that’s one thing you wont have to carry. I had to learn that. Now, don’t fool YO SELF, if you say you’re not carrying it around, but haven’t forgiven that person, ITS THERE! And whenever you need to make it known, you know just where to start.
7. There is so much hate, discord, dysfunction going on in the world. I asked God what are you going to do about this? Don’t you see this? He said yes, I do. People look to MAN (( POLICE))  to send their friends to jail, (( not going to happen)) to the lawyers to send them to jail (( not going to happen))  but its MEEEEEEEEEEEEE, who have the final say. Don’t look for Justice in the court system, I’ll take care of that. Now, LaCrease, do you trust me? Yes, I do!

8. I learned how to use my mind and a different way of thinking to come to conclusions that fit my situation.
For example: When I was in a relationship that wasn’t for me, I imagined eating hair grease whenever I thought about him. I knew he was not the one for me, so at SOME POINT, I had to ask MYSELF… everyday I’m eating this hair grease, its not healthy, it doesn’t taste good, and its making me sick, if eating this gives me the same effects of this man, then I will no longer be in his life. Now, if you’re in a good relationship, and you love cake (( for example)) it taste good, it smells good, it looks good, and its affordable….. then that’s what you eat! Use your mind!!!
9. I realized that I’m almost 50 and half way through. I know that God will be calling me HOME… OOO yall there is NO PLACE LIKE HOME… death will NOT scare me. I HAVE NO CHOICE but to get right, cause this “down here” aint what I want. All the arguing, debating, fussing and nutting up I do from time to time…. yea I cuts up. lol will be coming to an end. I don’t want God saying to MEEEE, um yeah.. Imma need you to step to the side cause I have to re review “your tape”. I want him to say Creeee come on IN, we’ve been waiting on you! There are some things I need to work on and I’m doing that now. I want him to say “Well done my good and faithful servant”.
10. Growing up my momma use to share all her childhood secrets with me and I use to LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE that time she shared with me. I use to love waking up knowing that her secret was safe with me. She trusted me, and till this day, that means everything to me. I never in a million years would know that started something within me. People come to me all the time and talk to me as if they know I know how to keep their business PRIVATE. Its a disrespect for you to come ask me about MYYYYYYYY friends, and what they shared with me. I never knew that I would talk to so many people about so many different things. And I love it because it was already in me from growing up. I am a listener, I give advice and I love helping people solve their own issues. I know this is what I’m here to do.

Work and Business (( MY Vent)) BLOG

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I don’t know what it is about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, that makes people feel some kinda way. If/When I stay to myself and mind my own business, something is wrong. because I get along with everyone and have a strong personality, but it seem “off” that I’m not talking. If I’m talking to everyone, then someone always feel that I’m leaving them out.No matter what I do, I can’t win, and with WOMEN… I don’t try too.

My managers like me because I do my work and don’t talk back. I don’t want trouble. I LOVE PEACE. Its disrespectful to talk back to those who are in charge. If I don’t want to work, ILL CALL IN. Simple! I don’t go to work to throw fits, or look sad to get asked ” what’s wrong” so that I can complain. I don’t have sad stories or a funky attitude when I walk in the door. I don’t talk about people and be clicked out. I don’t run behind managers and try to be their pet. People like me, because I can talk to them,  KEEP EVERY WORD PRIVATE, and keep it moving. I don’t like drama, or confusion…. because I DON’T HAVE IT IN MY PERSONAL LIFE. If I don’t have those issues with my family and friends at home, AIN’T NO WAY IN HELL.. am I going to have it with co-workers who I see more than 9 hours a night.

It bothers me to no end when someone pulls me to the side and say” I’m acting different”. Then when I asked well how, and they say because its favoritism and division.Just say…. that me and my manager get along very well. I have my own area where I AM ALONE until a coworker come and talk to me. I CANNOT LEAVE MY AREA AT ALL. So, when people come to my area, of course we’re going to talk. Thing is, its always PERSONAL home matters, people feel they can talk to me, and THEY KNOW ITS GOING TO STAY WITH ME.So, I guess that looks like Im apart of a clique because I talk to several people and get alone with them. I don’t fall out with coworkers, but I did last night/this morning because of how she feels that I changed. Thing is, she is the one who is always always complaining, so of course Im the yes manager, I’ll do it, it makes me look like Im the favor worker.

Another thing, I’ll be 49 in a few weeks. I’m older, people look at me as a AUNTIE, and a Sister. People enjoy talking to me about personal and serious issues. I’m east to talk with. NO ONE calls me because I’m very guarded with my personal life. No visiting me at home and no calling my phone. At work, Ill do my work and be a listening ear and I love to laugh and talk mess. Nobody is the boss of me. I do my own thing, and I’m cool with everybody. So what you don’t get along, deal or talk to everybody. That’s cool, that’s fine, but don’t say me, this person that person, her, her and her are close because we talk the most. And maybe so… SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT! But you are quick to say… I don’t mess with nobody in her like that.

But I thought about it driving home… I know what it is. My boss is a VIRGO just like me. We can laugh with you one minute and the next say.. “Okay I need for us to get back to work, you do this, you do that, and you come with me.”  People DO NOT like that!!!! I’m the same way. You wont see me laughing all the time. I know how to have my boss as my friend and as MY BOSS. I know how to separate business from friendship.She gets with me too. If she tells me to do something, so expects for me to do it. You won’t hear of us falling out, because we are both private, and we know how to conduct ourselves.

My BFF (( she works with me)) says I’m mean when I’m working.. no its not that, its that I’m not smiling and laughing like she’s use to me doing. This is BUSINESS. I need to speak in a different tone (( not bossy or disrespectful)) but in a way people get it. I make my job look easy, because I don’t complain or ask for help… I JUST GET IT DONE!!!

People DO NOT like 2 LEADERS  walking, talking, laughing, and having fun together. Its intimidating to them. They always feel like others are talking about them, when truth be told …..Its enough going on in MY life (( good)), to NEVER mention you/anybody EVER!!! But oh I can’t say that because feelings would be hurt. Even though that’s MY TRUTH . If La’Crease say’s something, I’m hurting their feelings, if La’Crease order lunch with someone who went to pick it up, ITS… they didn’t ask me. PETTY SHIT. I cant stand pettiness. If Lacrease take her lunch first, its because the manager want to take it with her. If LaCrease take her lunch last, then that means she wants to take hers last so that it would be almost time to punch out. It all boils down to 2 Leaders in our own right vibing together, DOING OUR WORK, without complaining and whining. We just DO IT! So its going to always look to the whiner, that she plays favoritism when I’m doing my work, and they’re whining. Its unreal how people can be so jealous. But instead of saying…. I wish we could spend more time, they use the favoritism card.But then in the same breath…. say… I don’t talk to nobody around here anyway like that…((rolls eyes)).

Thats the same reason why I deal with a few people outside of my workplace. Women are so jealous and petty. SMH

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and I can give you BUSINESS

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Any typos.. I’ll fix later.. Im sleepy and cross-sided

Cree

 

At First Site Chemistry/BLOG-REPOST

In 2014, I  went on several interviews searching for the right one for me. I was called to a 10:00 am appointment and when I walked into the lobby I was feeling GREAT and CONFIDENT.

I  checked in, then sat on the couch and waited for the person to “come out” to get me. As I soaked up the lovely atmosphere, and beautiful interior decorations, I noticed a glance at me. I didn’t pay it any attention because I was busy looking around the place, but when he looked over at me for the  2nd and 3rd time…. I paid attention. I said to myself…… “is this man looking at me?” As I begin to focus on him.. I noticed that he was fine as hell, TALL… handsome, sexy, thick, pretty white teeth, suited up, pretty eyes, sexy lips, goatee, and very humble. I sat there trying to ignore him, because I know how my body respond to what I’m thinking and seeing. A INTERVIEW was the WRONG place for this. I kept trying to ignore his glances, until I realized what he was doing.

I realized …..he was interviewing. I thought to myself…. “I hope he’s not the one doing the interviewing for me.” I’m finding myself staring at him. He’s so dayum fine …he catches my eye. I found it hard to turn away. I was nervous. I can’t be interviewed by him because I know me… I’ll be nervous. Oh my GOD.. I thought to myself.. this is not happening to me. Not today. Not this time in my life. Not for a interview! So… I sat there. I tried to convince  myself that he wasn’t the one to interview me, that maybe there were several interviewers. I had to have went over this in my head about 20 times.

He kept looking at me, so I decided that I was leaving. Nope, I wasn’t about to be interviewed by this man. He was NOT going to intimidate me.  He was NOT going to have me saying stupid stuff and giving dumb answers. Nope not today. Now had this been one of my ruff looking days, I may have taken the stares differently.  Because in my mind, I’m thinking Ok Cree….he thinks you’re cute today, just wait till he sees you looking good. But on this day………………… I was looking good!!! My face was MAC FLAWLESS ** in my Beyonce voice**… skin beautiful, eyes locking, lips poppin, hair on point * no wigs or fake hair*, smile… SMILING, eye lashes batting, smelling good,  had on my all black outfit with my boots…. couldn’t tell me nothing as I left out of my apartment.

I sat there…. I made up my mind that I was leaving. Wasn’t going to put myself through this.. I’ve been down this STREET a time or two of being CHEMISTRY intimidated and not able to get out of it. I stood up, grabbed my purse… just then I remembered that I parked valet and didn’t have my keys. Dayum.. I said to myself and sat back down. I decided that I was going to stay. That I was going to get through this interview and have full control. I fought myself all while he was still interviewing.  There aren’t many times a woman look into a mans eyes and feel a certain way on first site. Its a feeling that paralyzes you. But I must admit its one of the sexiest minutes to be apart of. But dang…. why couldn’t this happen while at the grocery store, mall or restaurant somewhere…… NOT AN INTERVIEW.

He stands up and shakes the hand of the person he just interviewed and the person leaves. My heart is pounding as he’s walking towards me to get to the desk to ask “whose next”. We make eye contact and we speak at the same time. I knew he was coming for me. I felt it. I was in trouble. He goes to the desk and the gurl points at me. “DAMMIT” I said in my mind… he IS the one going to interview me. I embraced myself as he walked towards me looking me DEAD in my eyes, trying to “download” my every thought in my head…..through my eyes. We smiled and its a wrap for me…. I already know. He walks toward me and says ” LaCrease Walker?”…. Yes, I said as I stood up to shake his hand. He walks in front of me and says lets go over to this table * the one he was at while doing the other interview*. I was SO nervous… I started to say… “YOU KNOW WHAT?” I’m good on this job, it was nice for you to call me. I’m outta here. But I didn’t.

He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch. There was also a table there that had all of my information on. I couldn’t turn my mind off of how FINE he was up close. As he looked at my resume, I was trying to calm down. I knew that if I got up to leave, that yes, I would miss out on a good job opportunity, but at that time, it was better than sitting there without my brain..  He looked good from afar, but up close OH MY GAWD!!!! I kept telling myself…GURL….. get it together. It was silence as he looked down. He knew what he was doing. He was loading up on me, when he came up from my resume and asked that first question… I knew he would take FULL CONTROL. After he asked the question… he sat back and had his way with me. Looking me so deep into my eyes, downloading everything about me. Reading me, taking mental notes. Just dogging MEEE out.  All I could do was try to stay focus. The chemistry was so deep..so ALIVE. So in my face. Then he asked more questions. Still staring me in my eyes as I spoke…so sexy and so sensual. I felt my body reacting to his stares. I tried to redirect my thoughts, but he kept staring and thinking. I know my eyes started telling him what my thoughts were… I couldn’t even help it.

 

Whenever he spoke about the company… that was my time to regroup my thoughts and get myself together. I kept having to have these pep talks with myself, because I didn’t know how much of these intense stares I could take. I just wanted to walk out in the middle of  one of HIS QUESTIONS. I didn’t have anything to lose. He didn’t know me and I didn’t know him. Just as I got myself together, there goes another question. A time for me to talk while he download my thoughts. THEN…… in the MIDDLE of me answering a question… he stops me and says… “Take off your coat”.

In my mind…..I’m like this is NOT happening to me!!! This is not. I told him that I was fine. He insist. He wasn’t going to ask another question until I did. The way he said it.. it wasn’t in a sexual way… or out of order…. NOT AT ALL… LET ME BE CLEAR…to him….. it only made sense to “get comfortable”… since I appeared to be ” NERVOUS”. I didn’t  want to do it…. if I ever had a chance to get out of it…. IT WAS GONE NOW. I stood up and the space between his chair and the couch I was sitting on… placed me right in front of him.. LIKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I began taking off my coat… I tried to turn my head as I did it.. but our eyes locked and I PROMISE ON every TRUTH IN ME…. this man took off my coat for me!!!!  His eyes told my coat to come off… AND IT OBEYED  I had never in my life FELT ANYTHING SO INTENSE. When I took it off and sat it on the couch.. I felt NAKED! I am a very shapely woman, and for the first time I didn’t want it seen. Its funny now looking back on it… but it wasn’t then. …. I don’t even remember the interview after that. LOL Whenever he spoke and shared things with me about the company, I reloaded trying to get “the POWER” back that he  was “stealing” from me. Didn’t work.

When it was my turn to answer the questions… my mind started failing me again.. worse every time. I starting thinking about kissing him, laying on the couch…all of this sexual stuff started coming to my mind. I’m saying to myself… “Guuuuuuuuuurl if you don’t knock it off and get it together!!! I couldn’t even help it… I was under a spell. The way he was looking at me.. he knew what he was doing. I was weak and he knew it. He controlled the whole atmosphere and  was loving it. FINALLY …. the interview was over. YES!!!! He said.. I’m going to set you up on for a second interview. I was happy about that. He told me what time to come back in 2 days. I got to my car sat in it….. and almost needed a cigarette. I don’t smoke cigarettes, weed, anything… don’t even drink.. but I needed a hit of something that day. I was in a daze all the way home. I kept hitting my wrist asking myself…. what the HELL JUST HAPPENED? The experience was GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!! But ….. not at a INTERVIEW!

I thought about that man all day and all night. I couldn’t even sleep the meet was that INTENSE. I had a plan for him.I was going to “get that ass back”. When I go back… I was going to be in CONTROL. I was not going to let him take over my mind, sexually and mentally again. I didn’t sleep for 2 days thinking about it. I remembered what he said…. he kept saying how he loved my bubbly personality. This time… I was going to be about BUSINESS . I LOVE that about myself. I can give you BUBBLY, SMILES, LAUGHS, FUNNY, JOKES, COMMUNICATION, SEXY, everything… but when I put on my BUSINESS FACE…….YOU WILL NOT be able to figure me out… because I’m in control of MEEEEEEEEE. I LOOOOOOOVE  that in myself.

The day and hour came for me to go back for a second interview… I walked up in that Hotel like  I WAS PART OWNER.. lol * Sure did*… Had on my BUSINESS face like………..who WANTS TO SEE ME AND WHERE THEY AT?  Guess who comes out to greet me.. looking BETTER THAN THE TWO DAYS BEFORE… GOOD GAWD…. um um ummmmm. One look into my eyes  as we shook hands to greet……and he said….. “You don’t seem as bubbly as you did before”… I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF IN MY MIND. The nerve!!! HAHAHA YES ITS WORKING…. He said you’re okay? I said YES… I’m good!!!!:)  I’m saying in my mind as we lock eyes… “what you want me to sit around here naked in the second interview too?” NOT GON HAPPEN BOO.  I was so happy I had my POWER back. He was looking good though… but I was ready for him and his PARALYZING STARES.

He directs me to the same area we were in before. But this time I sat in the other chair that sits a table and couch. He leaves to get the person who wants to meet and interview me . They both come back, but only the guy who is doing the interviewing sits down, he left.  We got to talking about the job, then about his friends, dogs, homeless people, being sick.. kids, everything. We WERE KICKING IT.. I was so comfortable… I felt so good. He was so cool. I knew I had this job.  I was looking forward to working with him. After a while, it wasn’t even like I was in a interview. It was like we were friends that had a lot in common.

Then…………here HE comes…. didn’t he PARK his FINE ass on the couch.… sat and stared at me THE WHOLE TIME while I was being interviewed. I’m saying to myself.. GOD MAKE HIM LEAVE!!!!! Make him go do something else! I’m thinking why is he sitting in on this persons interview?  OMG..I cant take it. He got me. He got me good.  He watched my every move, heard every word I said.. analyzed me, captivated me, sexually intimidated me, took off my clothes without ONE touch, downloaded all my thoughts, made me apart of his atmosphere, and took all MY POWER away. I tried to ignore his presence… I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. I tried to believe this wasn’t happening to me. I tried to stop looking at him. He was loving it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I had no control. The guy who was doing the interview was so into his story and life.. he had no idea “I left the building.” He had no idea what was happening. He had no idea, that whatever he was talking about I couldn’t hear him.  This man sat there and stared at me like I was dinner and left overs.

After that… didn’t even matter. I was butt naked again.. in his presence. I just let myself go. What the hell I thought to myself… he won! My thoughts took over….. my body REACTED. At one point… I tried hard to get back FOCUSED…. but it was like little kids in my head with markers, crayons, pencils and ink pens… coloring and scribble scrabbling all over my thoughts.

Then came time for paper work. We had to get in the elevator ALONE together.. and oh boy…. NOT THE ELEVATOR…. so personal… so sensual. The chemistry…… can’t even explain. I will say… that I LOVED  the experience.. I LOVED how I felt… I LOVED the attraction and chemistry between us… but it was the wrong place.

He hired me, came time for Orientation, he announced to me and the others that he was leaving for another job….I didn’t know how I felt about that. But one thing I do know, all the other women who were hired started talking about how FINE he was whenever he left the room. 🙂

Looking back, I would NEVER trade this experience in for anything in the world, its not often a WOMAN feel this way on first glance.

*photos are not of anyone in MY story… just a visual*

Digitalino Regular

 

 

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Balance/BLOG

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Back in the day, I would be the LAST person to write on this subject, because I had the biggest attitude in the world. My own mother told me.. ” If you don’t change your attitude someone is going to kill you one day.” For some reason I believed her. I had a FUNKY attitude.

Today… I just can’t walk around like that. I can’t do it. I see so many young gurls walk around with their faces disfigured from frowning, from being mad and angry. So, one day I said God, why is it that I’m connected to these frowns? Am I being paid back for how I use to be? Sometimes I can’t stand to see it, but he always remind me that I was once that same way. I have to deal with it. Thing is…. these days, I most likely know why they are having these issues.

For me it was the stress of my daughters father, my job, whether it was low paying,  or not enough hours, transportation, or babysitter. It was bills, friends getting on my nerves, falling out with neighbors, deciding what to cook or simple as not getting enough sleep. Didn’t matter I always had an attitude. I was mad at the world.

I realized that I didn’t have balance. I didn’t know how to balance my family, job, friends, bills, male friends, any of those things. I didn’t have order. Each day came and did what it wanted to do with me and I had no control. I didn’t have a “to do” list, I just got up out of bed and lived.

Today, I am so well balanced. Of course Im going to always feel that I can do more with my time, but I finally learned how to balance. Its so important. You have to have God time, that’s where your strength come from. You must spend time with your family, your siblings, parents, and friends. It has to be a balance. But whenever you do, make sure you spend time with yourself.

Chopin Script Regular

 

A Few Quick Words For The Men/BLOG

Men know your worth. Stop looking for women to LIVE with because you’re tired of sleeping on your parents couch or in their basement. Find a job, save money and get your own place. I know you may want to go out with your friends and spend money, but when you are tying to do things on your own, you sacrifice.

Its so not cute when a man finds a woman to live with, and when, she gets mad she wants to throw him out. He maybe the type that says “I’m not going nowhere,” because he REFUSE to go back to his mothers basement.Then he /she has problems.

Some men purposely look for women to take care of them. Some have no intentions of marry the woman he’s staying with, because his only goal is to “get himself together.” But in the meantime, the woman have developed feelings and this will make her feel she was being used in the first place. Then, if they’re not careful babies will soon follow.

Then we have those men who are doing well for themselves, they move a woman in with them and mistreat them. They look at them as fixer uppers. Because a woman who has her own thing going on, and enjoying life, will see no reason to give up her place to go and live with him.

Men you are leaders, make choices that you can live with later and not be a problem to you. Make sure you are doing well for yourself before you enter a woman’s life. Make sure she’s doing well for herself too. If you’re not mentally and financially ready for a relationship, do not move in with that woman. Get yourself together first.

Challenge Contour

A few QUICK words/BLOG

Women know your worth. Stop letting these men treat you any kinda way. Stop it. God loves you and he is NEVER pleased when you allow someone to mistreat you. He won’t do you that way BECAUSE he CREATED you, don’t allow anyone else to do it.

Take time to be alone. Stop saying that you HATE to be alone. Stop saying being alone makes you think of your past. Maybe you need to face your past. The more time you spend alone the less drama you become apart of. Invite God into your space. Feel HIS LOVE.

Listen to others their trials and life lessons. Stop feeling that since this is THEIR story, it won’t happen to you one day. LISTEN to them, learn from them so if that storm do come your way, you will have knowledge of it and watch it past right over your house ((life))

Stop judging others, the more you judge someone else, THE HARDER YOU ARE ON YOURSELF!!! Because what you see in them, you will surely see in yourself and then START TO FEEL SOME KINDA WAY. STOP that!

Find out what it feels like to LOVE and be LOVED. Once you get a glimpse of REAL LOVE, you won’t tolerate anything else.. I PROMISE YOU THAT. Ask God to show you that kinda LOVE, be persistent with your prayer about it. Allow him to wrap his arms around you.Embrace it. Feel it. Enjoy it, and DONT EVER FORGET IT.

BlackFat

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