The Six Deadly Dating Sins
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Forced Family Ties: Kyle met Lecia at a weight-loss support goup. He found her lighthearted, and he laughed when she poked fun at the “CIA conspiracy against carbs.” At the end of the evening, he askes her out. When he picked her up for their first date, Lecia introdued him to Johnathan, her teenage son. A couple of weeks later when Kyle arrives to take her to a movie, she gleefully announced that she’d gotten tickets for him and Johnathan to go to a basketball game together instead. She said she wanted the two men in her life to get to know each other. Kyle found it a bit overzealous of her, but well-intententioned. Days later a frantic Lecia called Kyle: I need you to come over right away. Johnathan stayed out past his curfew, and I told him you’d be coming by to tell him what his punishment will be.” They had only four dates. There was never a fifth.
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What went wrong: Too often women find a man they think is wonderful and immediately start folding him in with their children, their mother, the people at the office–all in an effort to test the strength of the relationship. But with each premature introduction comes all kinds of presure-packed expectations (and opinions) of their romance at a time when he’s still trying to wrap his brain around her.
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Solution: Let him develope a bond with your peeps at his pace, not yours. Men love to purse a prospective mate but hate feeling rushed to sign on for a package deal when they aren’t ready. And if you have kids, neither they nor your man should be expected to interact like parents and child until after you two are husband and wife.
However, if he’s moving at a pace that’s much slower than yours–and its clear that he isn’t going to speed up– it’s okay to break off the relationship and look for someone whose timetable is closer to yours.
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By Dr. Ronn
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Inside the mind of cree 