Men know your worth. Stop looking for women to LIVE with because you’re tired of sleeping on your parents couch or in their basement. Find a job, save money and get your own place. I know you may want to go out with your friends and spend money, but when you are tying to do things on your own, you sacrifice.
Its so not cute when a man finds a woman to live with, and when, she gets mad she wants to throw him out. He maybe the type that says “I’m not going nowhere,” because he REFUSE to go back to his mothers basement.Then he /she has problems.
Some men purposely look for women to take care of them. Some have no intentions of marry the woman he’s staying with, because his only goal is to “get himself together.” But in the meantime, the woman have developed feelings and this will make her feel she was being used in the first place. Then, if they’re not careful babies will soon follow.
Then we have those men who are doing well for themselves, they move a woman in with them and mistreat them. They look at them as fixer uppers. Because a woman who has her own thing going on, and enjoying life, will see no reason to give up her place to go and live with him.
Men you are leaders, make choices that you can live with later and not be a problem to you. Make sure you are doing well for yourself before you enter a woman’s life. Make sure she’s doing well for herself too. If you’re not mentally and financially ready for a relationship, do not move in with that woman. Get yourself together first.
Women know your worth. Stop letting these men treat you any kinda way. Stop it. God loves you and he is NEVER pleased when you allow someone to mistreat you. He won’t do you that way BECAUSE he CREATED you, don’t allow anyone else to do it.
Take time to be alone. Stop saying that you HATE to be alone. Stop saying being alone makes you think of your past. Maybe you need to face your past. The more time you spend alone the less drama you become apart of. Invite God into your space. Feel HIS LOVE.
Listen to others their trials and life lessons. Stop feeling that since this is THEIR story, it won’t happen to you one day. LISTEN to them, learn from them so if that storm do come your way, you will have knowledge of it and watch it past right over your house ((life))
Stop judging others, the more you judge someone else, THE HARDER YOU ARE ON YOURSELF!!! Because what you see in them, you will surely see in yourself and then START TO FEEL SOME KINDA WAY. STOP that!
Find out what it feels like to LOVE and be LOVED. Once you get a glimpse of REAL LOVE, you won’t tolerate anything else.. I PROMISE YOU THAT. Ask God to show you that kinda LOVE, be persistent with your prayer about it. Allow him to wrap his arms around you.Embrace it. Feel it. Enjoy it, and DONT EVER FORGET IT.
When it comes to business I have to really be on my game. Sometimes you can appear friendly, too friendly, not aggressive on the surface but when it comes to business I am a beast and I know it.
In business you have to always discuss facts and stay on the point. Because once you get off the point the other person can drive your story all over the place. Not gon happen with me. Sometimes I hate to go there because I can be very expressive in the face, because I’m always a really nice person. I can come off as very aggressive and I don’t mean to be that way. But I find out that I let things build up and when its time to discuss it there’s no changing my mind. And I don’t if that’s a good thing.
I Live downtown Detroit and there are a lot of new developments going on in the city. Many people are leaving the suburbs and moving to these downtown apartments which is causing the parking space to be an issue here. In 2012 when I moved here you can park anywhere at any time inside of the gated parking lot and there was no problem. But now since the building is almost occupied which is 22 floors and 18 apartments there is no space to park. When I come home at 3 AM I have to pray before I even get here to find a space. They tell us to park across the street which is a Hell to the NAW NAW and definitely not the back where I can’t see my car. I had my van stolen from here a few months after I moved in, and I wish I would park anywhere else except in the gate or in front of the building. They have extra security here and that’s perfect.
This morning when I got home I parked in front of the building along with seven other vehicles. I went down this morning to run an errand ((( and to move the car))) security asked me about it and I told him there is no room in the parking lot to park anymore I will not park across the street or in the back of the building. I will not have my car stolen like my Town & Country.He was here when it was stolen because he did the investigation on it. So he knew my frustrations, and understood. But not before I went there.
Just then the property manager came in saying that it was OK because of the issue. I really hated I had to go there but I had to let them know there was no way I was parking in the back or across the street. Thing was when I said that my van was stolen, people looked at me like WHAT???? YOUR VAN WAS STOLEN FROM HERE? OOO weee I bet security or management wont go there with me again. They shut that conversation down in front of folks REAL QUICK!!! LOL
Now I tried to be nice about it, didn’t want to alarm others in the building, but this is the 3rd time I’ve been asked about my parking. My thing is this, you jammed packed this building knowing full well there is not enough parking for all of these people, then I will let it be known, WHERE I WONT BE PARKING AND WHY. I pay rent here and its NOT CHEAP! Don’t ask me to park across the street, where if something happen off the property they’ll say, “Well that’s not our property.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I made it short and to the point. I don’t do all that 3 minute talking especially when I’m right. Make some parking space around here….. now that’s doing business. All they care about is fulling up the apartments…. AND I AINT MAD AT THEM… BUT DON’T TELL ME TO PARK ACROSS THE STREET. GOT ME MESSED UP! The new people don’t know any better..
I was talking to a friend last night, and our phone call conversation trigger several thoughts about being OUTSPOKEN at the wrong time. This is a subject that’s very serious to me, and I speak in COMPLETE BOLDNESS when it comes to it. I touched on this in the last blog entry…. but this one.. I’m going in.
Everyone who knows me know that when you call me, email, text, or we talk FACE TO FACE…I’m going to give you the real. I don’t add sugar to my conversations, ONLY salt. I’m not going to short cut you, or baby you. I can feel when you’re leaving something out, and I can tell when you’re adding to it.I ask a lot of QUESTIONS… you already know. Many people come to me for advice because I can see the bigger picture. I use Godly Wisdom, and not worldly tickles. I’m not her. Period.
If I feel you’re holding back the complete truth, I’m going to shut down the conversation completely, and keep it moving. I will NOT hold a conversation with anyone, who doesn’t tell the full story…. it’s a waste of my time. I will never again hold 1 and 2 hour conversations just to listen * especially if the story is stupid and doesn’t need to be told* just because you want me to listen and not comment. FIND ANOTHER FRIEND FOR THAT. FIND A FRIEND WHO WILL LISTEN ONLY.. IM NOT HER…… AT ALL… PERIOD. I don’t have time to say.. “yeah, um um, I understand, right, yes, okay… all through the conversation without any input. I refuse to spend that kinda time on those conversations…. phone a friend who will. I’m not mad or anything… I’m just not that friend. PERIOD.
Listen.. as Christians we have to learn when to speak and when to fall back. When to stay in our own lanes, and when its okay to share lanes. Its very ignorant to be “OUTSPOKEN” on the wrong things. Its very ignorant to tell a friend… those shoes are ugly, where you get that ugly red hat from? Why you have on those pants, the style is ugly. When are you going to comb your hair? What time are you getting in the tub… I smell something? But then…. when its time to pay a bill and negotiate with someone.. you can’t do it. When you need to tell someone to stay out of your room, you can’t tell them. When you need a neighbor to turn down their music you can’t knock on their door. When you need to get pass someone and you can’t say excuse me, you rather wait until they notice you’re standing there. When you need to ask for a loan and SCARED of hearing NO.. or I DON’T HAVE IT. Instead of being able to ask these things… the excuse is ALWAYS…. “I don’t want nobody telling me NO… and If I say it, its going to come out wrong”. What is that? That’s stupid as hell to me. You can open your mouth and put your 2 cents into everybody else’s conversation, but don’t know how to work your own lane.
You can tell someone what their job is, and what they need to do, when they need to do it and why…. but you can’t knock on a neighbors door and tell them the’re too loud watching a Football game? That &&&& is retarded to me!! You rather tell a friend their shoes are ugly…. IN THE NAME OF BEING HONEST. * because/whether they asked.. OR NOT”… but wont use that same honestly…. to knock on someone’s door and ask them to turn down their TV because its too loud.
As Christians.. we have to learn how to talk to people. The only reason why you feel its not going to “come out right” is because you catch attitude from people when they get mad at you for being in their business when you wasn’t invited. So now that its your business and its time for you to be a Boss, you can’t. We have to learn how to look at people in a non confrontational manner when speaking to them about an issue that would other wise cause conflict. We have to learn how to use voice control and direct eye contact with others. We have to usher in a Spirit of Peace when we speak. We have to go to God and ask him to calm us down before we ask a question or deliver a message to someone who may not take it well. This is a part of growing up, getting off milk and eating meat. You cannot be afraid “it won’t come out right”.. but at the same time… claiming how outspoken you are. Stop speaking when not asked., stop being so opinionated on things that doesn’t matter. Learn to pay attention to how things come on * a friend told me this*…. many times when you need an answer or something done, you need to learn how not to offend, so that the person can get it. That’s the whole key….. for them to GET IT. Stop feeling as if you have to say everything since its true….. when its not your story, important or necessary to say. Ask God to calm your storm before going to someone if you feel its going to lead to an argument or debate. Take YOU out of the situation and get things done people!!!
I know “outspoken” people who will tell you how dirty your car is….. but scared to ask the cashier for more ketchup because 1 isn’t enough. SMH!!!!
If we all told what we know of one another, there would not be four friends in the world- Blaise Pascal
Yesterday my mom invite me, my daughter, and niece over for dinner. We had a really good time talking and laughing at the dinner table. We got on the subject of being outspoken.
My niece was sharing the fact that she’s outspoken, but as she shared more conversations I realized that she was more outspoken when it came to asking questions about things she wanted to know. For example giving advice, and sharing personal stories. But when it came down to things that she really needed to outspoken in, she wasn’t. I taught her how to weed out things that wasn’t necessary to be outspoken and so drawn into, so that she could focus on the things that she needed to be outspoken in.
She shared with me that at her dad’s home she has her own bedroom. Someone went into her bedroom and took a few items out, that she saw else where in the home. There are only 2 people who live in the home. When I asked her why didn’t she confront the person* dad’s girlfriend* who went into her room and removed the items…. she felt that since she’s outspoken that it wouldn’t come out right, and that it would end up in an argument. I shared with her… see that was the time to be OUTSPOKEN. Someone went into your room and removed your items without your knowledge and consent. Instead of her being “outspoken” and to the point… but also direct to the person who did it to let them know that its not okay….. she didn’t say a word. This is a problem so many people like her have.
I find people to be outspoken, are outspoken about the wrong things!
I know because I use to be the same way. You cant go into a grocery store and go off on a cashier just because she tells you she can’t help you because she’s on lunch break, but at the same time offered to get you help. But then you get to the register to pay for your things, you stand there for 15 minutes waiting for a cashier to acknowledge your presence while her face is turned towards her coworker talking it up. That’s crazy to me. So many people do this and it drives me crazy. There reason for not saying anything is because ” if they say something ” THAT CLEARLY NEEDS TO BE SAID”, may not come out right”. These people want to say what they want to say… but don’t want to face confrontation when its something personal. Well this is something you need to speak up on. Its stupid to stand there for 15 minutes while someone talks while you need your merchandise rung.
Then I realized….. some people don’t know how to talk to others without offending. They’re so use to being outspoken, they never learned to speak in a tone where people “get it”. They try their hardest not to offend people WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR PERSONAL ISSUES. Its easier for them to be outspoken when it comes to issues that is not their own. I know so many people like this. They look at it this way…. if I tell this person how I feel about my things and I know that I’m “out spoken” even though I’m right, this could end in a heated confrontation. They don’t want that to happen, so they shut down. But when it comes to someone else’s issues and story, they feel its important to be “honest” and out spoken, not caring how the person feels because “they’re telling the truth about it.To them….. when they’re honest its okay to be “outspoken”. But when it comes to their issue, they’re scared it may offend someone. Wow!
The point I’m making is… learn how to talk to others so that they can “get it” and not be offended. Erase the word “outspoken” from your mind. It keeps you in a box to only be that way… when it comes to everybody else’s issue. Learn how to communicate, so that you can get your point across directly, clearly and in a non confrontational way..
These last few weeks has truly been amazing for me.. Spiritually. That’s another blog.
Living alone has really forced me to pay close attention to ME. I’m really in tuned with myself, things I never paid attention to when I was raising my daughter… I guess because it was all about her. But looking back on my life and this is so funny to me.. So, so, so, so, so, so funny. And I’ll tell you why in a few, but when you learn your likes and dislikes you are building Character. There are things you will simply not deal with, and I so love that about myself. I don’t comply with things I don’t want to deal with. But let me share what I learned about myself…. and I wish I knew why.
There are these contractors that work in the building, they’re the nicest group of men you ever want to meet. They don’t have attitudes or anything. Well the Boss/Leader likes me.. and I like him too. Not only that, but several of his people are attracted to me as well. And he knows it. LOL I love to flirt and talk “junk” to him… but I am firm on my won’ts and don’ts.
I looked back on my life and realize that through the years.. I have dated members of management at my job. I’m always attracted to the Leader. I wonder why? I wonder if its something I’m putting out there and I’m not aware of it, or is it something in both of us that attracts each other. In this situation I will never flirt with his people, but I LOVE THE ATTENTION. LOL Its funny because I know it will never go further than flirting…. I’m just not a woman easy to catch like that.
When I’m walking to my car, the men working in the apartments will whistle at me and its so funny looking up at the windows and finding out who it is, only for them to blow me kisses. LOL They have never tried to come to my apartment or say anything out of the way… I love that about them. Even though I don’t flirt with them… I enjoy them flirting with me… because its always when the Boss is not looking. Men crack me up. I don’t even think the Boss knows my name. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… see little stuff like that… I love discovering about myself. He doesn’t even know my name. LOL When I see him Monday… I’m going to ask him.
But also let me say this too. I’m very friendly and approachable. I don’t walk around with my face twisted, and mouth turned up. I’m always smiling and in a good mood. If I’m going through something.. I’ll leave that at home. I NEVER take it out on anyone. I do get quiet when something is bothering me, but I never transfer my Spirit onto another person. I make eye contact with people that cross my path. I smile and show myself friendly. And by me saying that… I believe that’s what attracts these men. Everywhere I go. I try to think positive and it shows on my face. Men like that.. they don’t want to be around a woman who always look mean and have something smart to say. Men don’t like that. I don’t like that in a man. Looking all mean and DISCONNECTED… get out of my face with that.
Anyway… women discover some things about yourself. I promise I love myself more and more everyday.
She wrote on her FB page today: The older I get, the less I care about who likes me and who don’t. I’m almost certain I don’t have as many “FRIENDS” as I thought and I’m perfectly fine with being the outcast. I never blended well with regular ppl anyways..just don’t be fake with it.. anywho back to bed I go! Have a good day ppl (p.s. Plz utilize the unfriend button so I can add new ppl I’m at capacity) 😑 thank you
I’m so happy she finally got it!!! When I first met this young lady at my old job…. it was something about her. I told her… you are a LEADER… you have the POWER to change things, and lead people. As I looked at the “puzzled” look on her face… I knew she wasn’t getting it. She even admitted that she felt there was nothing special about her. That was just fine with me, because I knew one day she would get it. I see her growth with each stat she post…… she is discovering sooner than later what I told her. I’m so proud of where she is in her life today, and I’m going to enjoy seeing her grow to the FULL BLOWN FLOWER God wants her to be.
Today I had some great conversations with 2 lovely ladies. I enjoy ministering to them. You know when life lessons come to teach you something, you have to really get into a quiet place and hear from God. God always gives us exits. Always. They both told me today that they loved me and that I am always there for them when they need to talk. They went on to say, how they appreciate me as a friend. That really felt good, because for the last few years I have really went through a life change. And it shut me down. I mean I have gotten over not living in Atlanta, its the things that happened after that, which rocked me to the core. I had SO MANY inbox messages of people wanting me to listen to them, and flat out, I said look…. I’m going through myself.. I can’t even think to help you right now.
Week after week of listening to TD Jakes LIVE on Sundays * I know I should have been in my own Church* but I know for a fact that he has helped me to know my calling. It was meant for me to be under his teachings. I am so excited. There are no hesitations on my part anymore. No more wondering, no more doubt. One thing I know I cannot do again. Is to shut down on people who need me. I can make it brief, but to never shut down like I’ve done this time. No matter what I’m going through. God has equipped me to keep it moving…. and this I know. I enjoy doing this, its what I was called to do. I finally got it. I plan to put together a Women’s Gathering and its going to be out of sight!! Life changing for many. I haven’t been this excited in years.
Later on, I received an email from someone to join her on line Ministry. I am very excited to do so, she is a very lovely lady.. I need this group very much. We’ve been FB friends for a while and not only that, but she’s written a book and when I purchased it, I WAS SO SURPRISED TO SEE MY NAME IN IT!!!! SHE DIDNT TELL ME.. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? I had asked her a question which made her really think, not knowing how it helped her. You’ll have to read it yourself…(((copy and paste)))) https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ayanaelon
Please watch this very touching Wedding Dance. Get some tissue…. you will cry.
I’m closing for now….. Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Finding my purpose in life. What is my calling? What are my gifts?
Entertainment- When I was 14 years old I was IN LOVE with Prince. I told my mom when he come to Detroit, I wanted to be there. She took me, not once, but twice. What a dream come true. Ever since then I fell in love with Entertainment. Not only was I enjoying Prince, but I love the live experience, the back ground singers, and especially the musicians. I love the way it made me feel. I felt so alive. When I moved out on my own I started going to more and more concerts. I would win concert tickets off the radio, and when I went to pick up my tickets, I met a wonderful Radio Personality for WJLB name Janet G. She was so nice and sweet to me. I love her to this day!!! There were many times when she would call me down and she would just give me concert tickets, that was often. I believe that she played a huge role in me loving entertainment as much as I do. I enjoyed going to see the Male Dancers as well 4-5 times a week, just to see them do routines fast and slow.
I missed a lot of concerts waiting on others to go with me, or to get their money together, so I started going alone. It was hard in the beginning. I started buying tickets without telling anyone. Seem like every time I went with others, I was getting seats way in the back, but when I went alone I was sitting in rows 1-5….. every time. I went to several plays before I knew who Tyler Perry was, but when I went to one that was terrible…. I vowed to never, ever go see another play again. I also enjoyed comedy. At concerts and plays I started paying more attention to what was going on back stage than what I came to see. I wanted to be apart of a backstage crew. I enjoy planning and how things came together. I absolutely LOVE ENTERTAINMENT. To name a few of my favorite concerts and plays that I’ve attended would be…… Anita Baker, The Late Great Gerald Levert, Barry White and Luther Vandross, Karen Clark-Sheard, Shirley Caesar, Missy, Mary J Blige, Janet Jackson. Destiny Child, Kelly Price, Jill Scott, Chante Moore, Maxwell, and Tyler Perry. Too many to name. I know for a fact, that Entertainment is apart of my calling.
Business- I LOVE taking care of business. I love to hear YES… in all my business ventures. Sometimes I push it , but its all good. When I was in my 20’s I learned how to speak well over the phone and in person to get my way. My family and friends would call me and have me to pretend to be them because they were nervous. I’m good over the phone, but face to face .. IM EVERYTHING. Seem like I can never get my way through email because I come off too persistent, and people LOVE to tell me No because they can’t see me. It started for me when I was a young gurl, my mom would make business calls and they would always tell her No, or make her have to do all of these unnecessary steps. Sometimes I felt that they sense that she was nervous about handling her business * which she was*, and they always gave her the hardest time. That bothered me. So, I made sure that when I became an adult, that wasn’t going to happen to me. Just tonight she called me and gave me a phone number to call in the morning so that I can take care of her business for her.
I learned that you have to have all your questions written down before you make calls. You have to speak with authority and know what you want. You can’t be afraid to ask question. Its your business, and you should feel comfortable asking whatever you want and need to know. I put together a lot of things, and in order to do this, I have to make these kinds of calls. If I have to see them in person….. that’s even better. I know for a fact, that the business is apart of my calling.
Women and Teens- I’ve always had a connection to them I learned to keep secrets at a young age, and it was needed in order to gain the trust of women and teens. No matter how deep the story is, God has always given me the tolerance to hear all kinds of unbelievable stories. I use to cry a lot when I’d hear the stories because they would be so devastating. But over the years God has strengthen me in this area where I’m able to listen and not take it personal. I’ve put together many Women’s Gathering, where we get personal, talk about God, and discuss how to deal with issues in relationships. I’ve worked in Detroit Public Schools for over 9 years total and I loved it. When my book is released, I know so many women will read it and change their lives. I know for a fact, that Women and Teens are apart of my calling.