I challenge you to get to know YOURSELF… all over again!/BLOG

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Hey

Today I decided to call off from work. Its been a while since I did that, because when I do I feel so guilty. But tonight I’m glad I did. Today was one of those days where I’m feeling some kinda way. So many questions to God and things that I have learned about myself. I really needed this day off.

I challenge you to get to know yourself, think about YOU, realize and come to some conclusions about things. Think about consequences YOU had to deal with because of YOUR immature decisions.  Its okay. Cry, laugh, and think about things in the past. I did and I’m glad. I want to share them with you.

  • I find myself often asking God, why do we have to stay “down here” with people who just want to kill and hurt others? Yes, I know Jesus will come for us, and I look forward to that day. But I still ask, because I often wonder if I could survive if some of the things that happen to others, would happen to me. That’s so scary to me.
  • I realize that once upon a time.. I cared what people thought about me. I cared about the wrong things. Recently a coworker came to me and told me that she was pregnant with her 3rd baby, at 19. She was feeling some kinda way, because she and her kids father were already having a hard time with a baby sister while they work, not to mention the fact that she was embarrassed, and ashamed that she was pregnant again. I was so happy she came to me, because of my experience I was able to help her come to her conclusion. I was so glad that I am a person who can share my experiences (( because I revisited them and healed)) with others, and I don’t GIVE A DAM about what people think ANYMORE. I told her how I had my daughter at 19 and 3 months later I was pregnant again. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone except her dad. I was ashamed and VERY AFRAID WHAT OTHERS WOULD THINK OF ME. I decided very quickly that I would have an abortion. I was especially afraid of what my parents would think of me. At 3 months I had an abortion and never thought about it again until I was in my 30’s. I shared my story with my co-worker and told her this: This is YOUR baby, yes you may be ashamed, but at the end of the day….. if you decide to have an abortion it will be with you for the rest of your life. You can raise this baby, you can do it. When you lay eyes on your baby for the first time, you’re going to ask yourself…. how could I ever consider killing you? I told her don’t care or worry about what the next person has to say about you, because at the end of the day this is your baby, YES THE ONE GOD GAVE YOU. And with that, her baby boy will be born sometimes this summer. Amen!
  • I realize that I enjoy being alone more that I ever thought. My personality attracts a lot of people. No matter where I go someone always have a story for me. I don’t mind because God wired me up to be a listener and a person who gives good GODLY advice. I’ll be 50 this year, and with my age comes a lot of experience and WISDOM. With that being said.. so when I’m home, I like to chill out. I don’t talk on the phone unless its my parents or my siblings. (( and I have the nerve to have the iPhone 7 PLUS)) I hate talking on the phone. So I write a lot and that’s my personal therapy. Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being around people, I love  going to the movies, or my favorite mall. I love get to gethers to play cards, laugh and talk junk. I LOVE to travel, and I LOVE ENTERTAINMENT. Its just that when I’m HOME… that’s my place of PEACE.. AND I LET NO ONE DISTURB THAT LIFE!
  • I’m very territorial when it comes to my daughter, my family and a few friends.
  • I HATE when women talk about other women. I just HATE it. What they don’t realize is, when you do that, you’re only making your OWN self esteem go down. What you think about others, you FEAR others think about you. FLAT OUT! Stop that. Build! Find something about her that stands out in a good way and focus on that in your mind. Trust me, she has something way more valuable than you. God made her differently.
  • I love about myself is the fact that I don’t have to look cute everyday. I can throw on some clean clothes and just run my errands looking ruff in the face. And, I know that I can throw on some clothes and as soon as I hit the outdoors MEN ARE STARING AND SMILING.. I love this about myself. LOVE IT. I DO ME DAILY! ME ME ME… now do YOU YOU YOU!

Take a inventory of yourself and discover you all over again!

I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE!

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Balance/BLOG

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Back in the day, I would be the LAST person to write on this subject, because I had the biggest attitude in the world. My own mother told me.. ” If you don’t change your attitude someone is going to kill you one day.” For some reason I believed her. I had a FUNKY attitude.

Today… I just can’t walk around like that. I can’t do it. I see so many young gurls walk around with their faces disfigured from frowning, from being mad and angry. So, one day I said God, why is it that I’m connected to these frowns? Am I being paid back for how I use to be? Sometimes I can’t stand to see it, but he always remind me that I was once that same way. I have to deal with it. Thing is…. these days, I most likely know why they are having these issues.

For me it was the stress of my daughters father, my job, whether it was low paying,  or not enough hours, transportation, or babysitter. It was bills, friends getting on my nerves, falling out with neighbors, deciding what to cook or simple as not getting enough sleep. Didn’t matter I always had an attitude. I was mad at the world.

I realized that I didn’t have balance. I didn’t know how to balance my family, job, friends, bills, male friends, any of those things. I didn’t have order. Each day came and did what it wanted to do with me and I had no control. I didn’t have a “to do” list, I just got up out of bed and lived.

Today, I am so well balanced. Of course Im going to always feel that I can do more with my time, but I finally learned how to balance. Its so important. You have to have God time, that’s where your strength come from. You must spend time with your family, your siblings, parents, and friends. It has to be a balance. But whenever you do, make sure you spend time with yourself.

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A Few Quick Words For The Men/BLOG

Men know your worth. Stop looking for women to LIVE with because you’re tired of sleeping on your parents couch or in their basement. Find a job, save money and get your own place. I know you may want to go out with your friends and spend money, but when you are tying to do things on your own, you sacrifice.

Its so not cute when a man finds a woman to live with, and when, she gets mad she wants to throw him out. He maybe the type that says “I’m not going nowhere,” because he REFUSE to go back to his mothers basement.Then he /she has problems.

Some men purposely look for women to take care of them. Some have no intentions of marry the woman he’s staying with, because his only goal is to “get himself together.” But in the meantime, the woman have developed feelings and this will make her feel she was being used in the first place. Then, if they’re not careful babies will soon follow.

Then we have those men who are doing well for themselves, they move a woman in with them and mistreat them. They look at them as fixer uppers. Because a woman who has her own thing going on, and enjoying life, will see no reason to give up her place to go and live with him.

Men you are leaders, make choices that you can live with later and not be a problem to you. Make sure you are doing well for yourself before you enter a woman’s life. Make sure she’s doing well for herself too. If you’re not mentally and financially ready for a relationship, do not move in with that woman. Get yourself together first.

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A few QUICK words/BLOG

Women know your worth. Stop letting these men treat you any kinda way. Stop it. God loves you and he is NEVER pleased when you allow someone to mistreat you. He won’t do you that way BECAUSE he CREATED you, don’t allow anyone else to do it.

Take time to be alone. Stop saying that you HATE to be alone. Stop saying being alone makes you think of your past. Maybe you need to face your past. The more time you spend alone the less drama you become apart of. Invite God into your space. Feel HIS LOVE.

Listen to others their trials and life lessons. Stop feeling that since this is THEIR story, it won’t happen to you one day. LISTEN to them, learn from them so if that storm do come your way, you will have knowledge of it and watch it past right over your house ((life))

Stop judging others, the more you judge someone else, THE HARDER YOU ARE ON YOURSELF!!! Because what you see in them, you will surely see in yourself and then START TO FEEL SOME KINDA WAY. STOP that!

Find out what it feels like to LOVE and be LOVED. Once you get a glimpse of REAL LOVE, you won’t tolerate anything else.. I PROMISE YOU THAT. Ask God to show you that kinda LOVE, be persistent with your prayer about it. Allow him to wrap his arms around you.Embrace it. Feel it. Enjoy it, and DONT EVER FORGET IT.

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Hello I AM…/BLOG

Looking back over the years…. I’ve changed. I’ve changed a lot, and whole lot. The things I use to do, I no longer do them, and when I think about it, some are funny and some… I just kinda want to forget. But, I won’t because it all has made me the woman I am today.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been the LIFE OF THE PARTY. When La’Crease walks it, its ON AND POPPIN. LOL I would give card gatherings, we would have drinks and talk junk all night over the table. No arguing or fighting, just family friends and fun. I gave a lot of back yard parties that was so popular, I would give them twice a month during the summer. I remember going to see the male dancers with my friends 4-5 times a week, taking lots and lots of photos. I still wondered how I worked 9-5 and still went out nightly. I had lots of male friends, plenty and many who loved and adored me. Most of them are still alive and a few still close to me.

I was always the one who people came to for advice. I remember as a teenager, I asked God for wisdom to help others in finding the truth and even though no one knew my prayer, they all came to see me. And I was happy. For years and years people would get mad at me for having someone else over because they needed to talk to me. I would cook for them, we would talk for hours and hours. I enjoyed that people listened to me, and that they made positive changes from our talks. But after so many years of doing this, it took a toll on me. I was changing, I was tired of talking to people day in and day out when I needed to get my life in order. People wanted all of my time, talking on the phone all day, all night. Then there were those who wanted to come over and talk face to face. OMG, I said that when I moved in my new house on Cadieux all of that would come to an end. And it did.

I hated talking on the phone, and I HATED COMPANY. I was done with the Therapist Life. It was time to do me!  I had a lot of male company .. but God put an end to that too. LOL I started reading my bible more going back to Church, I was done with everything and everyone. I needed a break from it all.

I’m a NERD now. LOL I love going to work and coming home to an empty apartment, being able to shower, change clothes and go the the Detroit River Walk alone. I love going to Belle Isle a huge park surrounded by nothing but water. I love planing trips and I’m also going on a cruise for a WEEK! I don’t have the time and energy to sit and listen to stories all day. I don’t have the patience for that. I don’t even watch TV because program after program can take up your time. I have  certain shows I watch and that’s it. I enjoy peace. I enjoy the company I keep. I enjoy going to the movies alone. Thing is, if I announce that I’m going somewhere, someone would want to go with me. For years I went everywhere with everyone, I’m just not that person anymore…. ALL THE TIME. Now don’t get me wrong, I have several weddings and bridal showers next month , game parties, a pamper session with my sisters,  and I still will listen to a friend who needs me. But, to spend all of my free time listening to others… that’s A NO NO!

I was always afraid of how others saw my change. People are use to being around me, and now I want to be alone, people don’t take that well. They think its them. Its not, its me. I’m always the listener in the car, over the phone, in person, Ughhhhhhhhhh, I’m tired of it. The only time I get to listen to my own thoughts is when I’m alone.

The best thing about this change is, I have options to be alone or go with a HOST OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO LOVE BEING AROUND ME, AND I LOVE BEING AROUND THEM…. Is it selfish of me.. YALP…..After spending so many years “doing others”, it feels good to DO ME!

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Your life in a blink of an eye/ BLOG

A few days ago, I was driving home in busy downtown traffic. I came to a red turning green light when this car on a side street darted out in front of me without even stopping for the STOP sign he had. I was so angry and MAD, that for the first time in my life, I wanted to ram my car into the back of a car/his car. The blatant DISRESPECT he showed to me, my daughter and HIMSELF, almost took me there. To make matters worst, he turned on his blinker down the same street I was going. My mind was racing, I wanted to KILL this man. The anger that went through my body was unreal. I drove up to his bumper, looked at him and saw that he was an older ARROGANT white man. I laid on my horn and just then he threw his middle finger up at me. Oh the heat that came from my head!!! Just then God spoke to me…. saying THIS IS THE ANGER THAT PEOPLE GET JUST BEFORE THEY KILL SOMEONE. He told me to let it go. I turned off and let him go on by his business. God shared with me how easy it is to be in the heat of the moment. I’m blessed that I can hear God’s voice and chose not to ignore him.

That kind of anger is what get people in trouble everyday. We can no longer ignore his voice. He’s always talking us down from being in trouble. I now know and UNDERSTAND (( but will never condone it)) how people KILL each other because they get caught up in the moment of Anger. I felt what people go through. I left my mind. The emotion.

I was with my daughter, I could have hurt her. I thought about my parents and how disappointed in me they would have been to involve them in my court matters. I thought about my job that might be in jeopardy, my car would have been tore up, a man dead, or maybe me. What if he had pulled a gun on me and shot us? These are the things we MUST STOP to think about before we do something to hurt the next person. There are consequences to our actions, and for me… I don’t have that kinda time and energy to put into a stranger like that. Not La’Crease.

I thought that I would write my experience so that maybe it could stop someone from getting hurt when they’re in the heat of the moment. To stop and think about all the people you would effect. I understand that we come out of ourselves in these moments, but we have to get back to our mind and make the right choice. Its hard… but you will either LET IT GO, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCE.

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Love Yourself/BLOG

I’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know myself. Sometimes you need to step away from family and friends to learn YOU.

I LOOOOOOOOVE ME! I’ve never had a self esteem issue. Not sure if the reason being so that I came from a home with both parents who taught us nothing but LOVE. People always tell me that I always see the good in people (( and some have a problem with that)) because I’m not pointing out the negative. Its bad enough we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, what good is there in pointing out the bad.

I HATE when people compare themselves to others. Stop doing that. God made us all different. You may like the same things the next person , but you are NOT that person. Enjoy your own way of life and doing things. Look in the mirror and admire yourself. Pay attention to your good qualities. Admire that, think on it, love on it, talk about it within yourself.

Let me say this. What you LOVE about yourself others will talk about. Be ware of those people.  They can work to tear down your self-esteem. God is the creator, he knows what he was doing when you made you. Get in touch with yourself, and love you to death.

I have my Mother’s nose, even if my book sells and I make lots and lots of money, I will never get my nose done so that others can say YOUR NOSE IS PRETTY, I SEE YOU GOT IT DONE. No never, because if my mother even passes away before me, I can look at my nose and say I GOT IT FROM MY MOTHER! I don’t do things to impress NOBODY! I LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 🙂

Love yourself.. flaws and all!

I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else

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SARCASM but TRUTH/BLOG

I was in KROGER not long ago, when a customer got mad because the lines were long. He walked into the self checkout area and said to the cashier attending the machines… ” I hate these machines because they take jobs away from people.” He went on complaining that the machines are never working properly and how much he hated using them. MY gotta tell the truth self gon say…. Well, when people go through cashier ran registers, PEOPLE MISTREAT THEM, CURSE THEM OUT, AND TALK TO THEM ALL KINDS OF SIDEWAYS, I said, I think its a good IDEA machines are taking over and the cashiers don’t have to deal with unruly PEOPLE… He looked at me like… B***** where the F**K you come from? HAHAHAHAHHA….. I SAID to myself “Now shut yo ass up……… AND I walked out! 

It amazes me how people treat cashiers. They want a person to ring them up, but at the same time, they MISTREAT them so badly. But see with a machine, they can’t do that. They can’t talk back, and if so it wont be towards a real person. I’m glad people are PISSED!. Maybe ringing up their OWN items will make them appreciate cashiers. And the people who have THE DAYUM MOST to say, are the ones always giving them the most HELL! The customers who wants to be IN AND OUT with no HASSLE and no DRAMA are the ones who go to SELF CHECK OUT.

I wish people will take a moment to realize that cashiers are people too. I’m taking my own advice on this one, because I use to constantly get into it with the drive-thru person at a fast food restaurant. Seems like since I don’t eat cheese, its always on my burgers. I can stress this to them 4 times while ordering, and Ill still get it. I’d get so angry and put together a sentence that could choke a rattlesnake. BUT… I PUT AWAY CHILDISH THINGS………smile

CREE

BE BLESSED!

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Conversations with The Lord/BLOG

TRUST GOD
Happy New Year!
One of my prayers is to have more conversations with The Lord. Sometimes we get tied up in our own lives and we forget to have that special time with HIM.
Since I was a young gurl, I’ve always heard the voice of the Lord. I’m always amazed at the things he tells me about PEOPLE and SITUATIONS ahead of time. A lot of times I don’t understand why he tells me things, but as time passes… I ALWAYS GET IT! That alone blows my mind.
A few days ago, the cable in my building and surrounding areas went out for hours. So, I called the cable company to find out how long would it be before its restored. After holding on FOREVER, I was okay with the time frame that was told to me. That evening it was restored.
No more than 5 hours of being restored, it went off again while I was watching Tiny House around 1:20 am. I don’t watch TV much at all, so when I do turn it on, I want to watch it.  I decided to go to sleep. The next day it still wasn’t on, so I decided to chat with a LIVE online representative about the service. He told me that they were having problems and that it would be restored in a few more hours. It was restored an hour earlier than predicted.
The next day, I was going through some movies and decided to watch King of Kings, when the Lord spoke to me. He said “La’Crease, your cable is going out again, but after that, it’ll be on for good.” His voice was so clear! I said.. Oh okay, so its going out again? He said yes, then once its restored it’ll be on for good.
I took a nap that evening before work and when I woke up to get dressed, even though my TV stays off, I notice the lights on the cable box was OFF again!!!! I went on to work, but when I got in around 8 am.. it was still off. Now I’m frustrated because this has never happened before. This time when I called I told them that I wanted a refund for War Room a movie which I rented and didn’t get a chance to see it for a second time before it expired, and also a credit for the NOW 2 days it was off. I was DONE! Forgetting everything God had spoken to me. What really had me on fire was when she said.. after we discuss the nature of my call, that she was going to introduce me to a better package than the one I have. Before I knew it I said.. ” I can’t even see and enjoy the package I do have!!!” I said maam, my cable has been in and out for 3 days!!! Oh she felt my wrath! She told me that my cable would be restored in a few hours. Just before hanging up, I got so irritated with the issue, that I said to her…..Thank you, you’ve been real helpful, and hung up in her face while she was still talking. I felt bad because that’s not me anymore to hang up on people, and to get that upset over something that I have no control over and surely not her. So, as I was watching a Christian movie, I really felt convicted after thinking about it.
After I had calmed down… God said to me.. La’Crease why did you call Comcast? I said because I’m tired of my cable going out. He said BUT.. didn’t I tell you that your service was going to go out and be restored again for good? I said yes. He said then why did you leave that woman wounded like that? OH MY GOODNESS I FELT SO BAD. OH THE GUILT. I could actually VISION the woman feeling some type of way after hanging up on her. I can VISION how I made her feel. I can VISION her talking trying to help ME, but feeling low after hanging up on her. I can VISION her telling family and coworkers how rude I was to her.
I shouldn’t have never called. God told me what was going to happen. I don’t know what kind of day that lady was having. She could have lost her mom or anyone. She could have been trying to have a good day after the anniversary of her daughters death or anything… I DON’T KNOW. WE NEVER KNOW WHAT THE NEXT PERSON IS GOING THROUGH! Even though I ‘m making up these scenarios , God told me about my cable, and I spoke to this woman like it was her fault. I repented. I felt so bad afterwards. You can’t do people wrong! God does not like that, and will punish you for it. I wish that I could talk to her again to apologize for the way I spoke to her. She was nice to me, and I was so mean. My cable was on in 12 hours, didn’t matter to me anymore, I just wanted to make what I did wrong-RIGHT!. I haven’t had any problems out of my cable since.. just like THE LORD SAID! I’m starting to think my cable was off just so that I could LEARN THIS LESSON OF HOW TO TREAT OTHERS… ESPECIALLY when I have DIRECT CONVERSATIONS WITH HIM. SMH @MYSELF. LESSON LEARNED!
I AM La’Crease ((I don’t have to do ANYTHING else))

Change over the years/BLOG

Hey Fam!

Up late cooking my Collard greens for Christmas Dinner tomorrow with my family . Reflecting on this past year, where it has been great for me. Learning about myself and realizing how much influence I have and how 2016 will be GREATER! Watching my daughter work her BUTT off for those less fortunate, feeding the homeless, working long hours, getting a promotion, encouraging and mentoring kids and teens, assisting others with food, resources and lots of love and patience.

I remember a time in my life when I was wild and use to drink and club, talk on the phone all day and night. God dealt with me. I always took pride on paying my bills  AND PAYING OFF the whole balance when it was due. I ran into some hard times when I was in my early 30’s. My lights were cut off, my car broke down, I lost my job, and my gas was turned off… ALL AT ONE TIME.  I needed to hear  from God. After a few weeks  ((which seemed forever)) he finally spoke to me and said. “The person Nesha is to be.. you are getting in the way of it”. ” You are partying, drinking, going out too much, gossiping, having all this sex, talking on the phone, being REVENGEFUL, you need to stop right now!” I was shocked that he was saying all of these things to me, because never in a million years did I think what was happening to me was RELATED TO Nesha/MY BABY.

When I surrendered to God in that moment, it was like the sky opened up and things started happening good for me. I had to change everything about the way I was living. EVERYTHING! I knew it, and for some reason I welcomed it. I stopped talking on the phone.. (( HATE THE PHONE TILL THIS DAY)) I stopped going out, having company over, having sex.. I went back to Church and started reading my Bible daily. I had to cut off people in my life that wasn’t ready to give up what I was doing new. Never knew all of this was going to be connected to my daughters future.

I say all of that to say….. People change over the years. I’m not the same person I was last year, in 2012, in 2011. I have different thoughts and different goals in life. My experiences has changed the way I think. I use to be the Queen of arguing and debates. Today almost 2016.. I don’t go back and forth with NO ONE. I say what I have to say, you say what you have to say…..and after that… its a WRAP! God said to me one day.. LA’CREASE…. in YOUR ADULT LIFE …if you don’t fall out with the SISTERS I GAVE YOU… because you learn the many experiences and personalities of them growing up while living in the same household.. DON’T YOU EVER EVER EVER EVER get into with other women . THEY ARE YOUR MINISTRY!!!!

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When I heard that, it made so much sense to me. If I don’t get into it with THEM… why  fall out with others.. NEVA AGAIN! EVA AGAIN! I’m so happy that I’m a NEW CREATURE… I think differently than I did 3 years ago, learn differently PRACTICING SELF CONTROL IS EVERYTHING :)!!!!!!. Thank you Lord for change… in 2016 I’m going to make you PROUD OF ME 🙂

I am La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE!

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