I absolutely LOVE dogs. I had to share.
I absolutely LOVE dogs. I had to share.
I AM LaCrease (( I don’t have to do anything else))
Growing up my parents always took me and my 3 siblings to Church. While my friends were outside playing, for some reason I enjoyed staying in the house. I loved to read books and magazines. But It was something about Jesus that made me want to know him better. Know him for myself. So, I started reading the Bible.
It was exciting getting to know the personality and Character of God. One day I came across the Scripture that read
“The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.”
I was HORRIFIED!
I had never heard anyone of my friends talk back to their parents or even get mad at them in this way of the bible. We sure didn’t do it in my house. So, when I read it, it took me back because if those days were coming……. it wasn’t looking good for us. In my 14 year old mind, I couldn’t see how those days would come to pass. I remember God speaking to me saying, keep on living, you’ll see. Even though I believed it with all my heart, I kept saying, I love my mother and my father, who in their right minds would go against them.
I’m 52 years old, and Father God in the NAME OF JESUS. I have seen and heard it more times in my life than I care to mention. It saddens me. Don’t they know that their days on earth will be cut short? God gave us all parents or guardians for a reason, they are not to be disrespected. We are to love and cherish them. Even if we don’t agree with them all the time. I remember getting smart a time or two growing up, but the back hand smack was on my lips before I can get the last word out. ** Laughing**. There have been times when I didn’t agree with my parents even as a grown woman, but that does not warrant disrespect.
My daughter saw how I talked to and treated my parents. My daughter is 33 years and and she has never talked back to me. I RESPECT her, and she RESPECTS ME. Thank you Lord for the teachings in the Bible.
I’ll be so happy when this virus pass. I’ve had many different emotions about my life. This thing have me thinking if I want to stay at my current job. I’m off right now because of everything that’s going on, and its causing me to wonder if I even want to go back. This time off, is really good for me and I hope others are having life changing thoughts as well. Even if its not about a job, it could be spending more time with family, moving to another city, putting money up for times such as these, starting a business. I’m starting to feel good about my future and where I need and want to be, mentally, physically and especially Spiritually.
These last few days have left me crying and feeling depressed. At some point in the night, I had to stop and think… wait a minute…. God is in control. He’s the boss and plant manager of my life. This too shall pass. The bible didn’t say, this too shall pass, except the Coronavirus. I had to really think about that. Things are going just as God approved of them to go and there is nothing we can do, but to wait it out, pray several times a day for Peace, People and yes our President.
Once I/you come to the conclusion that God is in control, you’ll start to see things in a different light, his light, and for this, I can see again.
I know its been a while since I’ve written anything here. But I lost my MALE BEST FRIEND to a trucking accident. He was a local truck driver. He’s been since I met him over 22 years ago. He loved to drive state to state for 2-3 weeks at a time, but since he started having grand children he wanted to be home more to spend time with them, so he changed his shift to locally.
January 10, 2019, My sister called me. I was taking a nap. I saw that it was her and answered the phone. She asked me if I had seen anything on FB about my BFF Rodney dying in a trucking accident. I sat straight up in bed as my heart started beating fast, I told her No. She told me to get on line, and go to our brother ex wife page. It read RIP Rodney Adams, and I was SHOCKED!!! I was mad at her for posting it, I wanted her to take it down. I was in denial and didn’t want to believe it. I asked her where did she hear that from? She told me from someone she knew. So, I went to his mom’s page, his daughter, sons, BFF, his siblings and NOTHING. No one had said a word. I couldn’t cry because I didn’t believe it. Not MY BEST FRIEND!
As the night went on I was glued to all of their FB pages and finally his sister posted. I was devastated. I knew it was true then. Still I couldn’t cry because I had just spoken with him less than 2 weeks before. We worked different shifts and when we talked over the phone.. WE TALKED!!!!!. He always made me laugh with his stories. I use to call him just so that he could make me laugh.
I can’t believe that I wont see my friend anymore. His BFF Mike for over 45 years was calling him to say that his MOTHER had passed away, just to find out the HE (((Rodney))) had too on the SAME DAY.
There was a HUMAN WASTE spill on I-75 that was backed up for miles and miles and miles. After “cleaning up” the right lane only ((( they were STILL cleaning up the other lanes))) they had to open it up to release the traffic. Well…. all of the waste along that right lane wasn’t completely gotten up. A trailer truck carrying a camper slid in the right lane on the waste leaving part of the camper hanging out of the right lane. He got over as much as he could from on coming traffic. Then Rodney comes along driving his truck, SLID in the waste as well and slammed right into the back of the man and his trailer. The driver was okay had a few injuries. The family said the first responders prayed with Rodney as he was pinned to his truck. He was in and out, after the prayer they told the family that he complained of his legs hurting. As soon as the jaws of life pulled him out, he died INSTANTLY.
The days after as it sunk in, I have crying spells daily. Even to this day. I think about him calling me all the time as he drove.
His family put him away beautifully. I miss my silly friend. He loved people, and LOVED HIS FAMILY. They said that so many times at his service, how he loved his Facetime LIVES, his family, especially his grandkids, family barbecues, Prince and his Superfriends. They are made up about 7-8 friends who went to high school together.
One thing I am grateful for…. his relationship with God. He LOVED GOD. They had the best relationship I can say this myself. I can’t wait to see him again.
Here is a song that his sister and her husband sung at his service. It happens to be one of my favorite songs from a CD I purchased years and years ago.
Rest Rodney. I love you.
Wow what a month!!! So, I guess this will be my “vent” blog. I know I can’t be the only one going through something like what I’m about to write about. Sometimes I dunno how to feel about how I feel. Or even if I’m “right” about feeling the way I feel.
I’ve always been the kind of person who attract a lot of people. I think its because of my easy to get along personality. I don’t like drama, I’m honest and will be truthful with you, I’m everyone’s therapist, and I’ve always enjoyed good stories and real life lessons from different people.
Sometimes I feel people want too much from me. Since I turned 32 ((( now 51))) I have really, really, chilled from having company over. In my 20’s I had my good friends over and cousins and we would have a ball. I’m still close to EVERYONE of them, and they seem to know me well. I enjoy cooking collard greens, fried chicken, corn bread, corn on the cob and I would invite friends and family over and this would become a daily for me no matter what I’m cooking. I’m not that person today anymore because people have burnt me OUT! They expect for dinner to be made for them every day!!! Never bringing anything, always expecting. No company, NO DINNERS! DONE with that life forever!
I’m done raising my daughter, my only child. Most people I know, are still raising kids. My problem is, they seem to feel that just because I’m live alone that I have all day to talk to them over the phone, go places with them. I ENJOY having a empty nest. I can do whatever I want! These are the same people who cant wait for their kids to be grown and gone, so they can be alone, but seem to think I want to be bothered all the time. I enjoy my quiet time. I can cook whenever I want, eat what I want. Sleep all day, and jump in my car and go anywhere I want. I am far from lonely when all people want to do is call my phone, hop in my car, and sit on my couch while I listen to their stories all dayum day. I’m good! Done with that life forever!
I’m a Virgo, if you know anything about us, you know we love to be alone and do our own thing. We don’t need company, we dont need friends, we LOVE to be alone. YEs, we enjoy family and friends, and we often link up. But don’t make it seem as if I need company just because my house is empty, and STOP FEELING OFFENDED WHEN I TELL YOU IM GOING ALONE! Like tomorrow, I’m going to the movies in the morning ALONE, now if I mention it to anyone on any day, first thing out of their mouths is, “why didn’t you ask me to go with you”? As if I’m lonely, or ESPECIALLY acting funny and didn’t want to invite anyone. I’m grown, my daughter is gone and I can get in MYYYYYYYYYYY car and go anywhere I want to go. I don’t need company to go with me, and I shouldn’t have to feel that I’m “acting funny” for not inviting anyone. It pisses me off so bad. So now, I don’t tell anyone where I’m going, I just go. Now! They say, you don’t go anywhere…. NO THAT’S NOT IT, ITS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT IT, BECAUSE YOU WOULD WANT TO GO WITH ME! **rolls eyes**
If I’m having a conversation about what we made for dinner, and I’ll say. I made collard greens, fried chicken, corn bread and corn on the cob, they would say…… ” Why didn’t you bring me some’? It would be in a tone where they feel that just because its MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and me alone eating dinner, that I made enough for them and who ever else. No! I made dinner for me to eat for 2 days. I don’t make dinner for 7 people just “in case” someone ask for a plate. Now, here is my thing. The good person in me what to cook dinner for others like I use too. But then people started depending on me. They wanted me to do it every week, or every time I made dinner. They would ask me what did you cook today? After a while, I was like wait, the very thing I enjoy doing for others, has turned into a burden for me. They expect for me to cook food daily, and when I would say I didn’t cook yesterday they were disappointed and made me feel some kinda way. So, I had to stop that altogether. DONE!
I love to drive and have no problem jumping in my car and going where I need and want to go. I have a friend who always get into debates with her sisters about whose going to drive where. Now me on the other hand LOVE to drive. I will again, jump in my car and go. But when I’m with this friend she always wants me to drive. It makes me mad because just because I enjoy driving doesn’t mean I want to drive because SHE wants and need to go somewhere. So, I stop dealing with her when it comes to going anywhere. You either want to go or NO! But as for meeeeeeee, I have the get up and go when it comes to me going where I want to go. I dont like that back and forth, I drove last time, its your turn. NOOOOOOOO, I’m going to drive my own car to the same place and you drive yours. I hate pettiness~!
Now, again, I’m going to the movies tomorrow, If I ask people who want to go, but didn’t go, their answer would be, because the drive is too far. Yes, its a 35 minute drive, but I love to drive, but if that’s the reason why you didn’t go, then you really wont be riding with me EVER! Here is why. When people see that you love to drive and is willing go whenever, they expect for you to always call them to invite them. These people will NEVER drive to see a movie because they dont feel like driving. I love to go alone, so I’ll never be asking anyone again unless its my mommy and daughter. Or I’m in a group setting.
I’m learning a lot about people and myself. I laugh sometimes, and sometimes I shake my head.
Good Sunday Morning Family!
I finally had some good rest last night. I found out Black Panther was on Netflix so
I watched that for the 50th time. Took a nap, woke up, made me 2 Bologna sandwiches for dinner. I was planning to make spaghetti, but I just didn’t feel like it. I’m glad I didn’t with all that sleep I was getting. Not to mention I still haven’t finished the Bobby Brown story. I tried to watch it at least 7 times days before, I just couldn’t get into it. I’m off tonight so I guess I’ll finish it.
Every now and then I love to look back on my younger days and think about things that I would have done differently, or to ask myself why did I do things that way. As I look back on my pregnancy, I wish I had been kinder to my daughters father. I was so mean to him about any and everything. I was angry that he had gotten himself a car, and was working a lot and couldn’t spend more time with me. Looking back, it wasn’t all that serious for the things I was mad at him for.
I can’t help but wonder why I was so angry? I was so mean to him that my parents use to say, you’re going to run him away. But looking back on it, I was angry at my past situation. I was angry because when I was 17 I was raped by my ex boyfriend. I wasn’t ready for sex at all. Wasn’t even thinking about it and my ex boyfriend knew that.
I met my daughters father just after my 18th birthday. Looking back I see that I carried that hurt and pain of being raped into my new relationship. I kept it a secret, and never told anyone. I didn’t know that my pain was the reason why I was so mean to my new boyfriend and to the people in my life. I was mean to everybody. Even though I wasn’t ready to have sex, I had it with my new boyfriend because I didn’t want my ex to be the last person in me. (((((Wow, that was hard to write.)))) But it was my thought process back then. About 4 months later or sooner, I got pregnant.
I’m so glad that I got to deal with that rape and got to ask the man who raped me, questions that I always wanted answered. He answered them all. Here is that story if you want to go back and read it.
Part 1 https://lacreasewalker.com/2015/10/07/my-story-of-forgivenesspart-1blog/
Part 2 https://lacreasewalker.com/2015/10/07/my-story-of-forgivenesspart-2blog/
Part 3 https://lacreasewalker.com/2015/10/08/my-story-of-forgiveness-rape-3blog/
Looking back on your younger self can help you understand why you do the things you do. Why you react the way you do. Why you think the way you do. Why you feel the way you feel. Looking back has helped me dearly to be able to live a better life.
Today, look back on your life and ask your younger self, how can I be better today than I was “yesterday”.