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Women Do Better/BLOG

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I speak and listen to a lot of women tell their stories of life lessons. I know for me, at one time or another I was naive when it came to other people. I grew up in a two parent home and we all trusted each other. We never stabbed each other in the back, or even fought for it was not allowed. But when I moved out on my own at 22, I had to face a lot of things I never saw growing up.  Things I wasn’t taught. Things I didn’t see among my friends. Which made me naive to a lot of things that were going on with others in the world. It cost me a lot. Had many cries and loss through the years,  but I’m convinced it has made me stronger for what’s ahead.

With so much social media these days, I don’t understand why WOMEN allow themselves to be mistreated, abused and be flat out gullible. Its so easy to find your own situation in a video, in a FB conversation, even on the job talking to others. Why is it that women wont do better? Why is it so hard to get out of a relationship that is toxic? Why women don’t love themselves enough to want more? Do women put themselves in a situation that causes her to stay because she won’t make it without his financial support? Do women like or enjoy drama? I say drama because in order to deal with physical or mental abuse there has to be something in them that has the tolerance for it.

My prayer is that if you are reading this and this is your situation that you get out and get help. Its all about PEACE. Get somewhere and learn yourself. Find out what you like to do and do it. Love yourself. Stop being WEAK! Find your strength. Let your Yes mean YES, and your No mean NO. Tell yourself you will no long deal with anything that is not of God. Speak with boldness. Walk with your head held high. Give eye contact. Speak clearly and know what you’re talking about. Its Okay to laugh and smile, but take serious conversations SERIOUS.

I can go on and on, but I promise to write more on these types of subjects.

Be Blessed

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Men Who Cheat and Consequences/Kevin Hart/Blog

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Oh boy!!!! Are words I blurt out when I see trouble or about to hear bad news. And OH BOY (( say it quickly)) is one I have to use for Kevin Hart. But this is not all about Kevin. 

When I first saw Torrei Hart on Hollywood Wives, I liked her. I knew she was spicy and that she was very expressive. But I never knew she was Kevin Hart’s EX wife. When I found out, I saw the hurt in her eyes, the pain, the feeling of neglect. I can only imagine how she felt holding Kevin down through his broke years. Then once he came up, made jokes about their personal lives to the public, cheated on her……and MARRIED the one he cheated with. I know this new wife had to feel special that Kevin Hart would choose her to cheat with, fall in love, divorce his wife, then marry her. I’m a woman I know how special that would feel. But you know what?  That cheating mess, there is a saying…..The way she got him, is the way she’ll lose him.

I know that feeling of being cheated on (( even though I’m not married)), I’m a WOMAN and I can tell you all the things Eniko felt. Her heart dropped to the floor. It felt like someone was pounding on her chest. She was devastated. She probably stared into space for hours. She cried and screamed to Kevin and alone. Then… she thought about WHO ALL KNOWS… the public, her family and friends, her nay sayers, the kids, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM….. and Ahhhh yeaaaa TORREI HART.

Kevin put Eniko on the highest peddle stool to the WORLD… then dropped kicked her while pregnant. Calling her his rib and then cheating on her at a WOMAN’S WORST TIME EVER—PREGNANT! I really hope that she can get over this. She may or not be as strong as Torrei, but she surely has to deal with it. Being cheated on and being a public figure gotta be hard. Its hard being a regular person when all your family and friends know. Then if his wife chose to stay with him, Oh she’s going to be insecure.  From this day forward.. KEVIN WILL BE ANSWERING QUESTIONS HE NEVER THOUGHT COULD COME TO A WOMAN’S MIND!!! And he deserves it.

See this is how being insecure grows in a relationship. This is the start of Eniko checking pants pockets, checking his cellphone, inboxes, calling the set, calling the hotel,  calling his family asking his whereabouts, calling his friends,  giving them the side eye because she took them on as friends, and felt that should have helped him to stay faithful, all to make sure it wont happen again. I bet she’s feeling that she gotta stay with him, because WOMEN HATE TO LEAVE A MAN WHEN HE’S DOWN!!! Flat out we are weak like that. A woman will NEVER leave a man when the world is against him, cause we hate to see a man cry over the fact that he just lost his family…. UNLESS this is his 3-4-5 time of more cheating. But that same negra will leave yo ass for a woman he thinks is the catch of the day! I hope yall learning something. I don’t usually curse in my blogs. Before we hand him over to the world, we will make him remember this for the rest of his life.

Now knowing this, I wouldn’t doubt if  Kevin at least once  asked Torrei to be with him while he was married. We see Its still in him to have his cake and eat it too. And if she didn’t give it up.. I’M WILLING TO BET.. HE ASK FOR IT!!! SMH

I’m a woman…. . And let me say this…….. Kevin is going to spend years trying to make up to Eniko, answering all her questions (( and its going to drive him crazy)) to keep her secure (( which she’ll never be again)), but after a while…. that’s gon end because he’s going to get tired of it, because he wont be cheating anymore. But her nagging is going to make him want to go back out there. She wont be able to help it.

I read that Eniko came for Torrei just recently.. PUBLICLY… making a point of telling just how long she was with Kevin, which proved that he was cheating with her when he was married Torrei. Then for this to come out… Eniko boo, you got a lot to learn when it comes to bumping dem gums. What you say to hurt someone, will surely come back to you during the most sensitive time in your life. You EARNED THIS ONE!!!

Do I think Torrei should have gotten on TV and did interviews after this story broke… NO. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t do the father of my children like that. I would have just sat back in my living room with my LEGS CROSSED, and WATCH IT GO DOWN. I wouldn’t do one interview. I’ll sit back and watch Eniko look twisted face in every video, photo, and interview out there. Had Torrei not said a thing, Kevin would’ve been calling, texting, in-boxing and beating her door down, to ask her WHAT SHE THOUGHT OF THE SITUATION… When the tables turned in my case, it felt good to know that what ONE WOMAN DID TO MEEEEEEEE… IS HAVING IT DONE TO HER WITH THE SAME MAN. God forgive me on this one,  IT WAS BACK THEN… but it was my truth. and let me say this…… After I did all my laughing, and watched it all go down without opening my mouth, I opened up to her because she needed  someone to talk to that can relate to the same situation with the SAME MAN. There is NO OTHER WOMAN on EARTH that Eniko can talk to about Kevin… than Torrei Hart!

LaCrease. how do you know this so well… GLAD YOU ASKED…… BECAUSE I AM TORREI HART.. THIS WAS MY STORY….. AND I’M STILL SITTING BACK WITH MY LEGS CROSSED. Thing is….I’m not laughing anymore….. because I grew up and realized that these things hurt us women. I speak to WOMEN EVERY DAY about how to get over this pain and how to move on. I have helped so many women. I truly believe that I went through this so that I can help others. and I’m doing it everyday with BOLDNESS!

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How I Lost And Gained Back My SELF ESTEEM/BLOG/PART 1 OF 2

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When I think about my purpose in life sometimes, all I can think of is that I’m suppose to be helping other women. I say that because no matter where I am, or what I’m doing, women always talk to me, and its usually about their issues with themselves, men, and getting over past hurt.

I can remember so clearly many things I’ve been through, and I’m so happy that I don’t hold grudges at all. Maybe that’s why I can help others because I’ve moved on from so many things, and it just doesn’t bother me anymore. I can talk about it and help others at the same time.

With social media being so popular these days women often compare themselves to others, and that is a NO NO. They look at other women and what they have in a man, and how their body is shaped and they care so much in how to please a man, that they lose themselves. Sex these days is  to show off their sexual skills, and to be one of the first to do things differently to a man to make him feel good. Why are women doing this? Listen, when you start a job, you are a temp. You have to get past 90 days to impress your boss and even more days at some jobs to get benefits. Why are women giving these trial men benefits? What have they done to deserve all of that?  A woman will let a man come and stay with her and her kids after knowing him a month. But a man  will not even think about letting a woman come stay with him. Some of these men just wake up in the morning, and their is a women to do everything for him on that day. He won’t have to do a thing but breathe, and have sex with her. A woman who has no kids at him, living single, will NEVER let a man come stay with her. She loves and enjoys her freedom. He’ll have to have his own thing going on.

Some women are afraid to lose a man,  especially if she feels she doesn’t have a “grip” on him.  Sometimes women feel that if they don’t make happy the man they like, he’ll get away. This is why they’re settling for the man who show  the most attention. Who wants to stay with a man who cheats? Why do women give these men so many chances? Don’t they know that if a woman cheat on her man, and he finds out about it, he will DISS HER IN A NEW YORK MINUTE? Men don’t play that? They cannot stand the thought of another man up in their woman. No way! Women with low self esteem are the ones who give chance after chance, after chance after chance. They’re so afraid of being alone and not ever finding the right man, they will settle for a temporary until better comes along.

In the next blog entry, I will share my story of how I got my self esteem BACK!

Next Part 2.. How I built my self esteem up

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Just things/BLOG

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Today is a good day. I’m writing down my thoughts. Things that’s on my mind, things I need to do, things I think about for my future. Just things.

Last night, I was thinking about how we want something so badly and never realize that we already had/ have it. Sometimes it takes years and years and years to realize it. You will only know when you come to a place of peace in all areas of your life. You will look back and see that it was already there. Already yours. Wow, that’s so huge for me. Today I smile, with Love in my heart. I’m happy.  The next level will be even greater. I’m looking forward to it. Thank you Jesus, Thank you Lord.

Next year this time I plan to put together a Women’s Gathering. I use to have these all the time at my home. I’m glad to get back to it. We would have a great time. People always ask me about putting together more of them.  I want to be mentally and physically ready for this challenge. I’m a Virgo so you already know we like our things in ORDER. I don’t play a put together gathering, and a skimpy menu. All my life I’ve worked with teens in my home, or at a school, I love my teens, but I see a lot of work needs to be done with the parents, and with Women in general. Women are just allowing anything to take place in their lives and in their presence. Accepting any and everything that’s offered to us that we feel we can’t do ourselves.

You want to know what the hard part for me is? The HARD PART. Its the fact that I was one of those women with low self esteem, dealing with a man that sold drugs, being attracted to that life at an early age when I lived on the one sided block with the Chamber Brothers (( New Jack City Movie)), because they were my friends. Dealing with drama from my daughters father at an early age. Loved to date married men. I always made my own money so I was NEVER influence by that life. For me it was being in the mist of it all.

The HARD PART FOR ME… is that now that I’m no longer living that life at all PERIOD. I talk to women day in and day out, and its so HARD getting women to understand their worth. Its so hard. Sometimes I ask God, how did I end up with this job? LOL I say that because I never knew that through all my pain in those days that God could USE ME to help OTHER women, when I went through the same thing. Like, how am I in this position to help others?  Me? I guess its because I’ve been through it. I know all the twist and turns, the mind games, the manipulation, the ups and downs, the late night cries, early morning prayer for myself to be healed. I know it all. I still wonder how did I escape with my mind. Because I was CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY back in my twenties. LOL I guess that’s what makes me the best candidate. And for some reason I LOVE DOING WHAT I DO.

When I put together this gathering its going to be talked about for months and years to come ! I’m a VISUAL person and what I have planned is going to take it to another level in WOMEN GATHERINGS. I betcha!

I’m closing for now Be Blessed!

I am La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else!

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Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

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Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

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I challenge you to get to know YOURSELF… all over again!/BLOG

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Hey

Today I decided to call off from work. Its been a while since I did that, because when I do I feel so guilty. But tonight I’m glad I did. Today was one of those days where I’m feeling some kinda way. So many questions to God and things that I have learned about myself. I really needed this day off.

I challenge you to get to know yourself, think about YOU, realize and come to some conclusions about things. Think about consequences YOU had to deal with because of YOUR immature decisions.  Its okay. Cry, laugh, and think about things in the past. I did and I’m glad. I want to share them with you.

  • I find myself often asking God, why do we have to stay “down here” with people who just want to kill and hurt others? Yes, I know Jesus will come for us, and I look forward to that day. But I still ask, because I often wonder if I could survive if some of the things that happen to others, would happen to me. That’s so scary to me.
  • I realize that once upon a time.. I cared what people thought about me. I cared about the wrong things. Recently a coworker came to me and told me that she was pregnant with her 3rd baby, at 19. She was feeling some kinda way, because she and her kids father were already having a hard time with a baby sister while they work, not to mention the fact that she was embarrassed, and ashamed that she was pregnant again. I was so happy she came to me, because of my experience I was able to help her come to her conclusion. I was so glad that I am a person who can share my experiences (( because I revisited them and healed)) with others, and I don’t GIVE A DAM about what people think ANYMORE. I told her how I had my daughter at 19 and 3 months later I was pregnant again. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone except her dad. I was ashamed and VERY AFRAID WHAT OTHERS WOULD THINK OF ME. I decided very quickly that I would have an abortion. I was especially afraid of what my parents would think of me. At 3 months I had an abortion and never thought about it again until I was in my 30’s. I shared my story with my co-worker and told her this: This is YOUR baby, yes you may be ashamed, but at the end of the day….. if you decide to have an abortion it will be with you for the rest of your life. You can raise this baby, you can do it. When you lay eyes on your baby for the first time, you’re going to ask yourself…. how could I ever consider killing you? I told her don’t care or worry about what the next person has to say about you, because at the end of the day this is your baby, YES THE ONE GOD GAVE YOU. And with that, her baby boy will be born sometimes this summer. Amen!
  • I realize that I enjoy being alone more that I ever thought. My personality attracts a lot of people. No matter where I go someone always have a story for me. I don’t mind because God wired me up to be a listener and a person who gives good GODLY advice. I’ll be 50 this year, and with my age comes a lot of experience and WISDOM. With that being said.. so when I’m home, I like to chill out. I don’t talk on the phone unless its my parents or my siblings. (( and I have the nerve to have the iPhone 7 PLUS)) I hate talking on the phone. So I write a lot and that’s my personal therapy. Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being around people, I love  going to the movies, or my favorite mall. I love get to gethers to play cards, laugh and talk junk. I LOVE to travel, and I LOVE ENTERTAINMENT. Its just that when I’m HOME… that’s my place of PEACE.. AND I LET NO ONE DISTURB THAT LIFE!
  • I’m very territorial when it comes to my daughter, my family and a few friends.
  • I HATE when women talk about other women. I just HATE it. What they don’t realize is, when you do that, you’re only making your OWN self esteem go down. What you think about others, you FEAR others think about you. FLAT OUT! Stop that. Build! Find something about her that stands out in a good way and focus on that in your mind. Trust me, she has something way more valuable than you. God made her differently.
  • I love about myself is the fact that I don’t have to look cute everyday. I can throw on some clean clothes and just run my errands looking ruff in the face. And, I know that I can throw on some clothes and as soon as I hit the outdoors MEN ARE STARING AND SMILING.. I love this about myself. LOVE IT. I DO ME DAILY! ME ME ME… now do YOU YOU YOU!

Take a inventory of yourself and discover you all over again!

I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE!

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Balance/BLOG

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Back in the day, I would be the LAST person to write on this subject, because I had the biggest attitude in the world. My own mother told me.. ” If you don’t change your attitude someone is going to kill you one day.” For some reason I believed her. I had a FUNKY attitude.

Today… I just can’t walk around like that. I can’t do it. I see so many young gurls walk around with their faces disfigured from frowning, from being mad and angry. So, one day I said God, why is it that I’m connected to these frowns? Am I being paid back for how I use to be? Sometimes I can’t stand to see it, but he always remind me that I was once that same way. I have to deal with it. Thing is…. these days, I most likely know why they are having these issues.

For me it was the stress of my daughters father, my job, whether it was low paying,  or not enough hours, transportation, or babysitter. It was bills, friends getting on my nerves, falling out with neighbors, deciding what to cook or simple as not getting enough sleep. Didn’t matter I always had an attitude. I was mad at the world.

I realized that I didn’t have balance. I didn’t know how to balance my family, job, friends, bills, male friends, any of those things. I didn’t have order. Each day came and did what it wanted to do with me and I had no control. I didn’t have a “to do” list, I just got up out of bed and lived.

Today, I am so well balanced. Of course Im going to always feel that I can do more with my time, but I finally learned how to balance. Its so important. You have to have God time, that’s where your strength come from. You must spend time with your family, your siblings, parents, and friends. It has to be a balance. But whenever you do, make sure you spend time with yourself.

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A Few Quick Words For The Men/BLOG

Men know your worth. Stop looking for women to LIVE with because you’re tired of sleeping on your parents couch or in their basement. Find a job, save money and get your own place. I know you may want to go out with your friends and spend money, but when you are tying to do things on your own, you sacrifice.

Its so not cute when a man finds a woman to live with, and when, she gets mad she wants to throw him out. He maybe the type that says “I’m not going nowhere,” because he REFUSE to go back to his mothers basement.Then he /she has problems.

Some men purposely look for women to take care of them. Some have no intentions of marry the woman he’s staying with, because his only goal is to “get himself together.” But in the meantime, the woman have developed feelings and this will make her feel she was being used in the first place. Then, if they’re not careful babies will soon follow.

Then we have those men who are doing well for themselves, they move a woman in with them and mistreat them. They look at them as fixer uppers. Because a woman who has her own thing going on, and enjoying life, will see no reason to give up her place to go and live with him.

Men you are leaders, make choices that you can live with later and not be a problem to you. Make sure you are doing well for yourself before you enter a woman’s life. Make sure she’s doing well for herself too. If you’re not mentally and financially ready for a relationship, do not move in with that woman. Get yourself together first.

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A few QUICK words/BLOG

Women know your worth. Stop letting these men treat you any kinda way. Stop it. God loves you and he is NEVER pleased when you allow someone to mistreat you. He won’t do you that way BECAUSE he CREATED you, don’t allow anyone else to do it.

Take time to be alone. Stop saying that you HATE to be alone. Stop saying being alone makes you think of your past. Maybe you need to face your past. The more time you spend alone the less drama you become apart of. Invite God into your space. Feel HIS LOVE.

Listen to others their trials and life lessons. Stop feeling that since this is THEIR story, it won’t happen to you one day. LISTEN to them, learn from them so if that storm do come your way, you will have knowledge of it and watch it past right over your house ((life))

Stop judging others, the more you judge someone else, THE HARDER YOU ARE ON YOURSELF!!! Because what you see in them, you will surely see in yourself and then START TO FEEL SOME KINDA WAY. STOP that!

Find out what it feels like to LOVE and be LOVED. Once you get a glimpse of REAL LOVE, you won’t tolerate anything else.. I PROMISE YOU THAT. Ask God to show you that kinda LOVE, be persistent with your prayer about it. Allow him to wrap his arms around you.Embrace it. Feel it. Enjoy it, and DONT EVER FORGET IT.

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Love Yourself/BLOG

I’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know myself. Sometimes you need to step away from family and friends to learn YOU.

I LOOOOOOOOVE ME! I’ve never had a self esteem issue. Not sure if the reason being so that I came from a home with both parents who taught us nothing but LOVE. People always tell me that I always see the good in people (( and some have a problem with that)) because I’m not pointing out the negative. Its bad enough we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, what good is there in pointing out the bad.

I HATE when people compare themselves to others. Stop doing that. God made us all different. You may like the same things the next person , but you are NOT that person. Enjoy your own way of life and doing things. Look in the mirror and admire yourself. Pay attention to your good qualities. Admire that, think on it, love on it, talk about it within yourself.

Let me say this. What you LOVE about yourself others will talk about. Be ware of those people.  They can work to tear down your self-esteem. God is the creator, he knows what he was doing when you made you. Get in touch with yourself, and love you to death.

I have my Mother’s nose, even if my book sells and I make lots and lots of money, I will never get my nose done so that others can say YOUR NOSE IS PRETTY, I SEE YOU GOT IT DONE. No never, because if my mother even passes away before me, I can look at my nose and say I GOT IT FROM MY MOTHER! I don’t do things to impress NOBODY! I LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 🙂

Love yourself.. flaws and all!

I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else

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