My Vent!

Image result for VENTING

Hey Family!

Wow what a month!!! So, I guess this will be my “vent” blog. I know I can’t be the only one going through something like what I’m about to write about. Sometimes I dunno how to feel about how I feel. Or even if I’m “right” about feeling the way I feel.

I’ve always been the kind of person who attract a lot of people. I think its because of my easy to get along personality. I don’t like drama, I’m honest and will be truthful with you, I’m everyone’s therapist, and I’ve always enjoyed good stories and real life lessons from different people.

Sometimes I feel people want too much from me. Since I turned 32 ((( now 51))) I have really, really, chilled from having company over. In my 20’s I had my good friends over and cousins and we would have a ball. I’m still close to EVERYONE of them, and they seem to know me well. I enjoy cooking collard greens, fried chicken, corn bread, corn on the cob and I would invite friends and family over and this would become a daily for me no matter what I’m cooking. I’m not that person today anymore because people have burnt me OUT! They expect for dinner to be made for them every day!!! Never bringing anything, always expecting. No company, NO DINNERS! DONE with that life forever!

I’m done raising my daughter, my only child. Most people I know, are still raising kids. My problem is, they seem to feel that just because I’m live alone that I have all day to talk to them over the phone, go places with them. I ENJOY having a empty nest. I can do whatever I want! These are the same people who cant wait for their kids to be grown and gone, so they can be alone, but seem to think I want to be bothered all the time. I enjoy my quiet time. I can cook whenever I want, eat what I want. Sleep all day, and jump in my car and go anywhere I want. I am far from lonely when all people want to do is call my phone, hop in my car, and sit on my couch while I listen to their stories all dayum day. I’m good! Done with that life forever!

I’m a Virgo, if you know anything about us, you know we love to be alone and do our own thing. We don’t need company, we dont need friends, we LOVE to be alone. YEs, we enjoy family and friends, and we often link up. But don’t make it seem as if I need company just because my house is empty, and STOP FEELING OFFENDED WHEN I TELL YOU IM GOING ALONE! Like tomorrow, I’m going to the movies in the morning ALONE, now if I mention it to anyone on any day, first thing out of their mouths is, “why didn’t you ask me to go with you”? As if I’m lonely, or ESPECIALLY acting funny and didn’t want to invite anyone. I’m grown, my daughter is gone and I can get in MYYYYYYYYYYY car and go anywhere I want to go. I don’t need company to go with me, and I shouldn’t have to feel that I’m “acting funny” for not inviting anyone. It pisses me off so bad. So now, I don’t tell anyone where I’m going, I just go. Now! They say, you don’t go anywhere…. NO THAT’S NOT IT, ITS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT IT, BECAUSE YOU WOULD WANT TO GO WITH ME! **rolls eyes**

If I’m having a conversation about what we made for dinner, and I’ll say. I made collard greens, fried chicken, corn bread and corn on the cob, they would say…… ” Why didn’t you bring me some’? It would be in a tone where they feel that just because its MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and me alone eating dinner, that I made enough for them and who ever else. No! I made dinner for me to eat for 2 days. I don’t make dinner for 7 people just “in case” someone ask for a plate. Now, here is my thing. The good person in me what to cook dinner for others like I use too. But then people started depending on me. They wanted me to do it every week, or every time I made dinner. They would ask me what did you cook today? After a while, I was like wait, the very thing I enjoy doing for others, has turned into a burden for me. They expect for me to cook food daily, and when I would say I didn’t cook yesterday they were disappointed and made me feel some kinda way. So, I had to stop that altogether. DONE!

I love to drive and have no problem jumping in my car and going where I need and want to go. I have a friend who always get into debates with her sisters about whose going to drive where. Now me on the other hand LOVE to drive. I will again, jump in my car and go. But when I’m with this friend she always wants me to drive. It makes me mad because just because I enjoy driving doesn’t mean I want to drive because SHE wants and need to go somewhere. So, I stop dealing with her when it comes to going anywhere. You either want to go or NO!  But as for meeeeeeee, I have the get up and go when it comes to me going where I want to go. I dont like that back and forth, I drove last time, its your turn. NOOOOOOOO, I’m going to drive my own car to the same place and you drive yours. I hate pettiness~!

Now, again, I’m going to the movies tomorrow, If I ask people who want to go, but didn’t go, their answer would be, because the drive is too far. Yes, its a 35 minute drive, but I love to drive, but if that’s the reason why you didn’t go, then you really wont be riding with me EVER! Here is why. When people see that you love to drive and is willing go whenever, they expect for you to always call them to invite them. These people will NEVER drive to see a movie because they dont feel like driving. I love to go alone, so I’ll never be asking anyone again unless its my mommy and daughter. Or I’m in a group setting.

I’m learning a lot about people and myself. I laugh sometimes, and sometimes I shake my head.

You { Murderer }

Advertisements

Raisingurls To Women/BLOG

yahoo-of-rasingurls.jpg

100_2673 - Copy

 

Hey Family!

Many of you may or may not know that from 2006-2011 I started a gurls group in my home. Raisingurls To Women. Teenagers would meet every other Sunday after Church  to talk about things that was going on in their lives. Peer pressure, divorce, school, friends, parents, personal issues and things like that. They loved it! I would listen to their personal stories, encourage them to speak and share testimonies that was going on in their lives. We had hotel parties, we went out to dinner as a group to talk in that settling. We had movie dates, we held fundraisers, celebrated birthdays, but more importantly we taught social skills.

I knew that these gurls would grow up to become adults and that they would need social skills to help them survive. I also keep up with ALL of them on FB. A few days ago I received a message from my niece telling me how what I did for them has impacted her life. Reading her message bought tears to my eyes.  I was only doing what I loved to do. It has made me do research to start ANOTHER WOMEN’S GATHERING!

Before I started my teen group I was holding gatherings in my home for Women. We talked about relationships, God, children, family, work, and everything adult. In my life today, people are always coming to me for advice. I spend hours and hours with these people and when my  niece sent me that message, it has started a spark in me. So many women are hurting from past hurts, and also present situations that causes them to go into deep depressions. See, I know God. I have a personal relationship with him and he is theeeeeeeeeeeee only way out. I dont have the gift to preach, but I am NO WAY afraid to share my testimonies, and to help women find their way.

Here is apart of the email that my niece sent to me! Wow Thank you Jesus. What a Blessing!

Scriptina Regular

 

 

Yes auntie thank you. One thing that prepared me to want to speak was you from back in the day when you did the girls group. I started a women’s group in college and used your work sheets I still had n the group is still going the girls love it. I want to open a homeless shelter for you that have no where to go after 18. That’s another goal. I thank you for doing what it is you did when I was young. You never know how much you impact a persons life and you did.

You don’t know how much it helped deal with stuff and gave me courage to speak up for myself. Yes women need other women to help them overcome a lot. Auntie get out there we need women like you to help guide younger women. We have so many youth scared to be different and not be okay with life because it’s not normal and the struggle with being accepted and that’s when they use their bodies. You taught me so much you wouldn’t understand.

 

Hands On/BLOG

Image result for learning for yourself

Hey Family!

Have you ever just sat up and thought about the things people do? Sometimes, I wonder what does God think about what his kids are “down here” doing. I know I’m a handful BY MYSELF… the thing with me tho… I’m scared of CONSEQUENCES. I don’t want no trouble.

Then I sit up and think about how people treat each other. Today I was at a 4 way traffic stop, and everyone knows you take turns going. Well, instead of this one car waiting for his turn, he took off when it wasn’t even his turn. Just pissed me off. The car that was suppose to go started blowing her horn, it was funny, but the man didn’t care. As long as he went first without waiting, he was good. But then that same guy will go home, find out his house had been broken in, and will piss a fit about it. But you’re out here being disrespectful to the 4 way……ON PURPOSE!

This lady walked through the self check out at Meijer, she had to be about in her late 50’s. She walked in saying ” I don’t know how to work this”…. loud and obnoxious. The cashier said to her, come over here let me show you. The lady says ” could you just ring me up, those things frustrates me. The cashier rung up her and again, the lady is left not knowing how to do it. I’m a teacher at heart. I worked at an Elementary School for over 9 years. I’m a hands on person. I’m not going to ALLOW you to ask me 50,000 questions without me showing and teaching you.

One day my daughter surprised me with an iPhone 5, I didn’t know how to use it or anything. I would call her every 5 minutes asking questions. I knew she was getting frustrated with me because seems as if I wasn’t getting it over the phone. But the next day  in person she said I’m going to show you the basics, she said momma you have to play with the phone, make mistakes and remember what you did. I admit I was HEATED! I wanted her to show me how to do this and that, and all these things without having to do it myself. She said momma you have to learn it  for yourself. She said you can’t go around in life asking people to do things for you without you trying it first.. I WAS MADD in my mind! OOO weeeee. I was on fiyah.  She didn’t know that. But once I got to my apartment and thought about it, I said she’s right. I need to play with this phone until I can learn how to do everything. Even if I make mistakes. Even if it takes all day. I’m going to learn how to work this phone. And I did it!

That’s the attitude I have with everything now. I will get to a machine, look at it first, figure out the buttons and what does what, then I will work it. Especially in person. I’m getting older and that’s right, I dont want to be like that lady who want everyone to help her before she even TRY to work it. They don’t want to learn, or even think about it, just like I felt. They want it done for them and on to the next. NOPE… not going to watch others ask  questions all day and not try it first. My daughter has me in the iPhone forever plan where I can upgrade whenever a new phone comes out, and since then I had the 7 and the 7 plus, now I have the iPhone X and I got this!!! No help. Hands on!

So, I write this to say, if you have parents, or friends who are quick to say.. “HELP ME, HELP ME” Show them how to do it in love, and remind them to work with it first, make mistakes, then ask questions if they cant get it. Going around in life asking everybody to HELP YOU because you don’t want to learn it, don’t have time, being lazy, or intimidated is not a reason to not learn.  This is your life. I was feeling some kinda way when my daughter told me to play with things first, but I’m glad I learned that lesson from her.

My daughter and I  bought my mom a Ipad 2 last week. I showed her how to work it, she called me a few times about it, and now she got it mastered. The same thing my daughter told me, I told my mom. She lovessssssss it. My mom will be 69 in June and I don’t want her going around saying to folks….. “HELP ME DO THIS, HELP ME”.. unless she really needs it and not because SHE DOESN’T FEEL LIKE LEARNING IT.

Chopin Script Regular

Higher Is Waiting Question 2/BLOG

Image result for trusting god

 

Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring. It means trusting and allowing things to be tended by God. When have you done this in your life? What happened?

When I moved back home from Atlanta.

I’ve been wanting to move there since I was 22 years old (( now 50)). I moved Sep 3, 2012 on my Birthday, NEVER telling anyone how much pain I was REALLY in concerning my leg and barely being able to walk. One day before moving to Atlanta, I woke up unable to walk from the pain in my left calf area. When I got there I went on a interview and barely made it up the flight of stairs. I knew then, that I would never be able to stand at a job for 8 hours. I knew that if I went back home, I could get well, and go back to my old job of 9 years, but I was determined to stay there and make it.  I was so depressed when I was there.  I knew it would get better, but when? I had been waiting my whole life to move there, only to get there and not be able to walk.

At this point, I had made up in my mind that I was going back home to Detroit. So, one day I went on line looking for apartments, when I came across this one  Downtown. I thought, I could never live there. I always wanted to live Downtown Detroit, but knew the rent was too high. But this one kept standing out to me, KNOWING I COULDN’T AFFORD IT!!! That’s when I heard God say, YOU WILL LIVE THERE! I knew it was him speaking because I know his voice, I wouldn’t TELL MYSELF THIS.  Simply because I already came to MY OWN CONCLUSION that I couldn’t afford it. I immediately made an appointment to see it, while I was still in Atlanta. I had money, but I didn’t have the strength to stay while in so much pain.

I drove home from Atlanta and had to move in with my daughter, which killed me as a MOTHER because I wanted her to enjoy her new place. But she welcomed me, and saw how much pain I was in. When I say she nursed me back to health, mentality and Spiritually….. She did that! Not only that, but her DOWNTOWN apartment was around the corner from the one I made an appointment with. Never knew that when God told me I would move there.

The day after I made it back to Detroit, I went to see the apartment and I HATED IT. Told God I will NEVER EVER MOVE THERE!!!!!! EVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! I hated everything about it. Only 1 of the 3 elevators were working. There were ” Under Construction” notices everywhere. The atmosphere was terrible. The apartment that I saw was nice, but it needed upgrading, it was not enough for me to move in. I did LOVE how they kept the grounds up. I loved the Downtown location, but I hated all the construction going on. I just couldn’t see the vision.

I went back to my daughter’s apartment and told her how I hated it and that I was DONE!!! Told her, I would NEVER EVER move over there. I was done with everything. I couldn’t walk, didn’t want to go back to my job of 9 years. I was DONE!!!! Then I caught a bad cold,  I was depressed and even got into the worst argument with my brother in all of our life. I cried everyday, all day, the moment my daughter left out for work. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. I cried so much that I told God that if he gave me until a certain date (( cant remember it )) that I would stop, just allow me to keep crying. That day came… and I gave everything to GOD. Total Surrender!!

A few months later, my daughter was working to help a young lady find a apartment, without remembering the building I went to when I first came home, she told me she went to see one. I remember saying to her, “THAT’S THE SAME APARTMENT I LOOKED AT”. She said momma its nice over there, they’re doing repairs and the apartments are nice. She went on and on about how they looked.  The way she talked about this building made me want to see it again for myself. So, it made me wonder if I was just depressed and down at that time that I was over looking the potential of the building.

The very next day I made an appointment to see it again. I fell in LOVE. I don’t know how I over looked how well the building would look as it came together with the repairs. It was like I had a new set of eyes. I applied that same day! The lady called me 3 days later and told me to come and pick up my keys that was Dec of 2012. God told me that I would move there, and today I’ve been here for almost 5 years. Shortly after, I moved my parents DIRECTLY AROUND the corner. I stayed in my original apartment for 2 years, then they told me that when my lease was up that I could move into a BRAND NEW APARTMENT.

My APARTMENT IS BRAND NEW! ALL NEW EVERYTHING!!! I’M THE FIRST PERSON TO LIVE HERE WITH THIS UPGRADE. God told me that I would live here, even when I said NEVER and never thought about it again. When I gave up the control and trusted God that’s when I Surrendered. I’ve been at PEACE and happy ever since!!! I LOVE not only my apartment… but my DOWNTOWN LIVING! It happened just as God said it would. Thank you Lord! You gave me my hearts desire, forgetting that I prayed to live Downtown a long time ago. Thank you!

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting

Chopin Script Regular

Thinking Out Loud/BLOG

Image result for your fault in a relationship

 

 

Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, and things aren’t going well, its so easy to point the finger at the other person to find fault with them. But I challenge you to get in a quiet place and ask God to reveal the things that are YOUR fault.

The things that you allow in a relationship cause for the person to react to that choice. What is YOUR role in a failed relationship?

Chopin Script Regular

Learn From My Words/BLOG

Image result for talk to much

Being a writer… you have to be careful of how you word things…

My Momma always told me, that my mouth was going to get me in trouble someday

Sometimes I come off too strong and offend others

I NEVER EVER EVER curse people out, but I can put together a def defying sentence

 

 

Only God can get me out of this one

Chopin Script Regular

 

Virgo Women/BLOG

Image result for virgo women

 

One of my popular post here in my blog is the one I posted on VIRGO MEN. But I wanted to do something on VIRGO WOMEN and just so happens… I’m one MYSELF.

I’m going to give you a BALANCED post by sharing in each paragraph the beautiful and the ugly about us VIRGOS.

Virgo WOMEN……. are some CRAZY, FUN LOVING, LAUGHING, GOOD TIME HAVING, PEOPLE. We love to laugh and surround ourselves with loving people. At work, my coworkers say they can hear me laughing all over the building. I’ve always laughed loud, because it hits me in my mind first, then it carries out to my mouth. Virgo women are those that walk up in a gathering, and THEN THE PARTY STARTS!!!!

VIRGO WOMEN……..ARE VERY very very VERY territorial about our kids, family and friends. We don’t play when it comes to them at ALL. If my momma is not answering her phone. She knows I’m going to BLOW HER PHONE OUT OF HER PURSE. She knows this. She knows I’m that CRAZY child that will jump in my car, and be on my way to kick her door in. LOL  To make sure she’s not dead or cant get to her phone. She knows this about me. My dad the same way, don’t let me call him and he’s not answering his cellphone. They know I’m crazy like that, so she will let me know where she’s going ahead of time so I won’t worry, and I have all the places she goes on SPEED DIAL… and she knows if she doesn’t answer…. I’M ON MY WAY!!! My daughter the same way. We both have iPhones, when she’s out and about (( sometimes)) (( Me: rolls my eyes)) she’ll send me her location. Most times she’s with her boy friend so I’m good with that, because he’s good people and he KNOWS me and her dad DON’T PLAY when it comes to her. But one time we were suppose to go someplace and she wasn’t answering her phone early in the morning.. Baaaaby… I put my shoes on, jumped in my car and I was at her apartment in seconds (( she lives just around the corner from me)). I stuck my key in her door and she jumped up out of her sleep. She knew then, that momma don’t play and she betta answer the phone. LOL LOL This is why Virgo Women don’t mess with people’s kids, we stay in our lane. That’s because we don’t want anyone to mess with ours.

VIRGO WOMEN…..are LOYAL. We LOVE our friends. We will tell them the truth and not sugar coat anything. Over the years, I had to learn how to be truthful but at the same time, say it in a way that it won’t offend the person. Most people can handle the truth, but it has to be spoken in a gentle way, and sometimes when we want people to really get it, we can say things rough. But, we don’t mean that you are dumb or stupid, we ‘re just passionate about you getting what we are bringing to you.  We won’t stand for anyone to talk about our friends. We feel that if you have something negative to say about my friend, then go tell if to YOUR friends. We are not the people you bad mouth our friend to. We don’t play that. One thing about us tho, if we find out that you have been DISLOYAL all the time with us, using things we told you against us, USING us, talking behind our backs about us, WE WILL CUT YOU OFF LIKE A DEAD TREE IN THE GROUND!!! We won’t have ANYTHING to say to you ever. If you keep sending us emails, calling our phones and leaving messages and we don’t respond.. LET IT GO. We are done. It makes us madder and madder, please believe we are sitting back thinking of ways to chop your whole body up, and package it in a fingernail polish bottle to send to …….. you fill in the blank. But then of course, we feel bad, and ask God to forgive us for those  CRAZY thoughts and get back to our lives. We just want PEACE!

VIRGO WOMEN… Love to communicate. We have to make sure that we know exactly what is going on in order to do things correctly. I may ask you 100 questions, because I want to get things right. I want direct details. We are some investigators too. You can’t just tell a Virgo woman anything. We’ll get to the bottom of the truth no matter how long it takes. We know people in high places and we will use all of our resources. I remember I was dating this guy we were very close. One day I woke up in the middle of the night and had a feeling that he was out doing something he had no business doing. I jumped in my car about 3-4 in the morning and went to the areas I know he goes to all the time, and saw his car in the drive way of someone he had been with previously. We were done as a couple. But the point I’m making is, we will do our  homework based off what we are feeling and what we may know. It will KILL  a Virgo woman to not act upon her intuition. If Im new at a job and you are the person that comes to me and tell me everything about everyone in the building… Im side eyeing you FIRST. VIRGO women like to get to know people for ourselves. You cant tell us about other people. NOW.. WE WILL KEEP EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN OUR MINDS… WE TAKE MENTAL NOTES ON EVERYTHING….. because we may need it later. Because when we realize that person was right, we have all the first hand information stored in our minds, and we WILL DISCONNECT FROM THAT PERSON ON SITE!

Virgo women.. well some. Don’t like to go through people’s private things. I just can’t. Its about privacy to me. I was dating this therapist years ago, I met him because I use to clean his office building. When he was gone, I loved going up in his room and snooping through his drawers, desk and other things. I couldn’t wait to find something new, so that I could bring it up the next day. Boy was that ignorant and silly. I don’t care whats in his office, room, phone, home…. just as long as we’re good.. Im fine. NOW……. If some information come to me.. that’s when the VIRGO WOMAN HAS TO INVESTIGATE….. and trust meeeeeeeeeee.. WE INVESTIGATE LOL Imma leave this right there! LOL

VIRGO WOMEN… Work!!! I never complain at my job. I do my work and do it well. My bosses loves me and I love them. I don’t give them any lip, any talk back, I don’t disrespect them, or curse in front of them even if they are comfortable saying a curse word in front of me. When a VIRGO woman is not feeling it, she wont go to work and spread her irritated atmosphere, she will stay home and get herself together. We work hard!!! Once a VIRGO WOMAN know her job description, she will run the business like its hers. VIRGO WOMEN cant stand complaining, whinny people. It irritates our souls to hear about aches and pains when that person can be in bed. Virgo women hate complaints!!!! We cant stop whoa is me type of people. I tell people to BOSS UP!!! When we work with people who complain, it messes up the whole atmosphere. We cant stand tell a tells. We believe in going to the person  and having a smiley face talk with them, after that.. WE DON’T DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE. To a Virgo you are INVISIBLE…. NOT EVEN HERE., NOT EVEN BORN, NOT EVEN KNOWN. WE ARE DONE!

Chopin Script Regular