How I Gained Back My Self Esteem/ PART 2/BLOG

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I was 24 years old (( 6 years in)) when I FINALLY came to my MIND. When I started talking to God about what I was going through. I thought that I would never get over my daughters father. The more sex I had with him, the more I loved him. That’s when I found out that SEX was the soul-tie that kept my mind on this man. The first thing I learned I had to do was, stop the sex. It was so hard. So so so very hard. Every time I saw him, we were a magnet and I had to give it to him. I knew if I could just stop the sex then I would be able to get over him. Sad thing about it,  I knew in my heart that he had to do something terrible to me, to turn me off from him, and that would be how I would be able to walk away. Its a shame that in order for me to get over this man, something bad had to happen. We never fought EVER, so I knew it wouldn’t be that, but it was something, and  when it happened…..I knew then that I had to let him go.

I started reading my Bible and separating myself from my friends to be more in tuned with God. I started reading how much God loved me no matter what I did. In my mind he was in charge of my LIFE. He was the man I had to please, and that’s when I started learning my worth. I was never a person who compared myself to other women, because it was clear to me that GOD MADE EVERYONE DIFFERENT. I enjoyed and loved the fact that I WAS THE ONLY ONE MADE LIKE ME. You can say, I favor this person or that person, but I was the ONLY LACREASE GOD MADE…and that made me HAPPY. So that alone made me NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want or desire to be like anyone else,  because I KNEW.. that God loved me enough to make ONLY ONE of me, and I love ME.

Then, I had to learn and write down all the things God Blessed me with. I had to read it daily. I had to learn my worth all over again. I had to know it without a doubt. I had to live it. I had to think it, I had to see it ON ME. And here is what I started with.

NOW THIS IS MYYYYYYYYYY LIST…. you make your own list. Remember we are all different.

  • I grew up with both parents in the home, and they helped me with everything I needed.
  • I  got my  first apartment me and my daughter, and a job.
  • I was funny, loved people, loved to laugh and pretty
  • I had a beautiful shape, and wore clothes to compliment my body (( never disrespectful))
  • Had lots of friends and loved the Lord

One of the biggest conclusions IN MY LIFE that God helped me come to was that MEN wanted SEX. What I ( women)  have the men want !!! I had to learn the POWER in it. I learned it was OK to keep it to myself…. its mine. We women don’t have to give it away. Its so much POWER in the vagina. Its not to be shared with everyone. Its yours and all the boys want it. No! No! No! Learn this TODAY! You do NOT have to  give up your vagina.

Fast forward to today. I spend time with myself learning myself daily. Learning my wants/needs and don’t need. Learning things I will NOT ACCEPT. For example.. Married Men.

I met this guy at my job, he comes in often and he calls me “Momma cool”… why I dunno. This man is soooooo fine to me. He’s attracted to me and I’m attracted to him. He’s my type of man IF he wasn’t married. Now, I will NEVER EVER talk, meet, or see this man outside of my job. I will not engage in any conversation with a him or any married man, unless its work related, or God. That’s apart of building my self esteem. KNOWING WHO I AM. My self esteem stays ON 100 because I will not engage in anything not healthy for me and will disappoint God, especially when I know better.When you start crossing lines and doing things out of YOUR CHARACTER, that’s when your self esteem start going DOWN DOWN DOWN. Depression sets in, suicide, doubt , fear all that stuff starts to creep in. Cut off any thing that YOU KNOW is not good for you, because if you don’t you’ll find yourself in trouble. Stay inside of your worth!!! Married MEN ARE OFF LIMITS.. PERIOD! Once you exchange phone numbers….. THAT’S IT!

Take trips. Go to the park alone to spend time with God. Clear your mind. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.. MAKE IT HAPPEN! Go to lunch alone, you dont have to take the kids all the time. Think about yourself. Whats your favorite desert? Go to Dairy Queen alone. Stop feeling guilty because you didn’t take the kids this time.. ITS OKAY. I promise you. Go to Bath and Body Works and buy not one but 4 different scents of lotions, its OKAY. Learn what you like and will  buy the next time you visit. I will book a hotel an hour away from me in a minute! Book a room for the weekend. Have someone to watch the kids… Go alone, make plans to do things while you’re there.

Listen… I will jump in my car and go to the park and sit for hours in the sun enjoying myself. I may have music or I talk to God. I use to be “scared” to go to dinner alone, because I always took my daughter or a friend… YEAH OKAY… I WILL hop in the car and go sit my but down alone so fast. I love getting to know myself. I love me. God made me and there is no one else like ME, and guess what… JUST AS I LEARNED THIS ABOUT ME…. YOU CAN TOO!!! Be your own “to do list”…. life is not about having Sex all the time, sitting on the porch watching cars ride by, going neighbor to neighbor needing someone to go shopping with you. Get to learn yourself, know what you will and will NOT ACCEPT from a friendship, or relationship. Do YOUR own thang in your spare time, and treat yourself. ITS OKAY!!!

Be Blessed!

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How I Lost And Gained Back My SELF ESTEEM/BLOG/PART 1 OF 2

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When I think about my purpose in life sometimes, all I can think of is that I’m suppose to be helping other women. I say that because no matter where I am, or what I’m doing, women always talk to me, and its usually about their issues with themselves, men, and getting over past hurt.

I can remember so clearly many things I’ve been through, and I’m so happy that I don’t hold grudges at all. Maybe that’s why I can help others because I’ve moved on from so many things, and it just doesn’t bother me anymore. I can talk about it and help others at the same time.

With social media being so popular these days women often compare themselves to others, and that is a NO NO. They look at other women and what they have in a man, and how their body is shaped and they care so much in how to please a man, that they lose themselves. Sex these days is  to show off their sexual skills, and to be one of the first to do things differently to a man to make him feel good. Why are women doing this? Listen, when you start a job, you are a temp. You have to get past 90 days to impress your boss and even more days at some jobs to get benefits. Why are women giving these trial men benefits? What have they done to deserve all of that?  A woman will let a man come and stay with her and her kids after knowing him a month. But a man  will not even think about letting a woman come stay with him. Some of these men just wake up in the morning, and their is a women to do everything for him on that day. He won’t have to do a thing but breathe, and have sex with her. A woman who has no kids at him, living single, will NEVER let a man come stay with her. She loves and enjoys her freedom. He’ll have to have his own thing going on.

Some women are afraid to lose a man,  especially if she feels she doesn’t have a “grip” on him.  Sometimes women feel that if they don’t make happy the man they like, he’ll get away. This is why they’re settling for the man who show  the most attention. Who wants to stay with a man who cheats? Why do women give these men so many chances? Don’t they know that if a woman cheat on her man, and he finds out about it, he will DISS HER IN A NEW YORK MINUTE? Men don’t play that? They cannot stand the thought of another man up in their woman. No way! Women with low self esteem are the ones who give chance after chance, after chance after chance. They’re so afraid of being alone and not ever finding the right man, they will settle for a temporary until better comes along.

In the next blog entry, I will share my story of how I got my self esteem BACK!

Next Part 2.. How I built my self esteem up

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Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

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Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

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My niece baby shower/BLOG

Hey

My niece had a baby shower on Sunday and it was so nice.  I can’t believe she’ll be 22 years old this year. I witness her BIRTH, and its hard to fathom that she has graduated from high school, working a good job, AND A GROWN WOMAN!!!!!

This was her boyfriends first time attending a shower , but what’s funny is that he didn’t think they would get ANY gifts . He thought that because he had no idea how baby showers went, that people wouldn’t bring anything. So when he first found out he was going to be a dad, he went out and bought EVERYTHING.  When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Not only him, but his mom. They for real, REAL lost their minds buying gifts. When he saw all the gifts they had gotten, not to mention take home, he was so HAPPY and so SURPRISED. He had no idea how many people would show up and buy so many gifts. I’m happy for them both.

It was my second time meeting him and I really like him. I can see them marrying in the future. She really loves him and he loves her. They have the best chemistry. I really enjoyed watching them open gifts together.

Here are some photos from their shower.

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Her BFF

Her Mom, ( my baby sister) and her BFF

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I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE

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I challenge you to get to know YOURSELF… all over again!/BLOG

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Hey

Today I decided to call off from work. Its been a while since I did that, because when I do I feel so guilty. But tonight I’m glad I did. Today was one of those days where I’m feeling some kinda way. So many questions to God and things that I have learned about myself. I really needed this day off.

I challenge you to get to know yourself, think about YOU, realize and come to some conclusions about things. Think about consequences YOU had to deal with because of YOUR immature decisions.  Its okay. Cry, laugh, and think about things in the past. I did and I’m glad. I want to share them with you.

  • I find myself often asking God, why do we have to stay “down here” with people who just want to kill and hurt others? Yes, I know Jesus will come for us, and I look forward to that day. But I still ask, because I often wonder if I could survive if some of the things that happen to others, would happen to me. That’s so scary to me.
  • I realize that once upon a time.. I cared what people thought about me. I cared about the wrong things. Recently a coworker came to me and told me that she was pregnant with her 3rd baby, at 19. She was feeling some kinda way, because she and her kids father were already having a hard time with a baby sister while they work, not to mention the fact that she was embarrassed, and ashamed that she was pregnant again. I was so happy she came to me, because of my experience I was able to help her come to her conclusion. I was so glad that I am a person who can share my experiences (( because I revisited them and healed)) with others, and I don’t GIVE A DAM about what people think ANYMORE. I told her how I had my daughter at 19 and 3 months later I was pregnant again. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone except her dad. I was ashamed and VERY AFRAID WHAT OTHERS WOULD THINK OF ME. I decided very quickly that I would have an abortion. I was especially afraid of what my parents would think of me. At 3 months I had an abortion and never thought about it again until I was in my 30’s. I shared my story with my co-worker and told her this: This is YOUR baby, yes you may be ashamed, but at the end of the day….. if you decide to have an abortion it will be with you for the rest of your life. You can raise this baby, you can do it. When you lay eyes on your baby for the first time, you’re going to ask yourself…. how could I ever consider killing you? I told her don’t care or worry about what the next person has to say about you, because at the end of the day this is your baby, YES THE ONE GOD GAVE YOU. And with that, her baby boy will be born sometimes this summer. Amen!
  • I realize that I enjoy being alone more that I ever thought. My personality attracts a lot of people. No matter where I go someone always have a story for me. I don’t mind because God wired me up to be a listener and a person who gives good GODLY advice. I’ll be 50 this year, and with my age comes a lot of experience and WISDOM. With that being said.. so when I’m home, I like to chill out. I don’t talk on the phone unless its my parents or my siblings. (( and I have the nerve to have the iPhone 7 PLUS)) I hate talking on the phone. So I write a lot and that’s my personal therapy. Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being around people, I love  going to the movies, or my favorite mall. I love get to gethers to play cards, laugh and talk junk. I LOVE to travel, and I LOVE ENTERTAINMENT. Its just that when I’m HOME… that’s my place of PEACE.. AND I LET NO ONE DISTURB THAT LIFE!
  • I’m very territorial when it comes to my daughter, my family and a few friends.
  • I HATE when women talk about other women. I just HATE it. What they don’t realize is, when you do that, you’re only making your OWN self esteem go down. What you think about others, you FEAR others think about you. FLAT OUT! Stop that. Build! Find something about her that stands out in a good way and focus on that in your mind. Trust me, she has something way more valuable than you. God made her differently.
  • I love about myself is the fact that I don’t have to look cute everyday. I can throw on some clean clothes and just run my errands looking ruff in the face. And, I know that I can throw on some clothes and as soon as I hit the outdoors MEN ARE STARING AND SMILING.. I love this about myself. LOVE IT. I DO ME DAILY! ME ME ME… now do YOU YOU YOU!

Take a inventory of yourself and discover you all over again!

I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE!

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You are the CEO of your life!

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Hey Family!

I’m sitting here on this lovely day, I really need to be at a park this morning, we have some rainy days coming and I wanted to be near water on Belle Isle. But Summer is just around the corner and I promise myself I will be there more often than last year.

As many of you know I am deeply into the growth of  women, when it comes to Life Lessons and Experiences. Seems like there is not a day that goes by when someone needs to talk to me and ask for advice. I’m very, very, to the point and honest with my answers. That’s what people LOVE about me, but sometimes when I dish it out they have a problem with my truth and honesty. And guess what? I don’t even care.

I was speaking with someone recently and they began to tell me that whenever she hits her boyfriend and fight him, he wont hit her, but, he will push her and leave marks on her body. She justifies the fact that she fights him, but he will only push her. I told her, one day…. one day… ONE DAY, he will not stand for her putting her hands on him and he’s going to fight back. She doesn’t believe it. That’s where the LIFE LESSON will come in at. I can tell her all day, but she’ll NEVER believe me, because it HASN’T HAPPENED to her YET. This is the part of my job, where I can’t help. She has to learn the lesson herself, and I hope that it doesn’t land her in the hospital.

We.. MEN AND WOMEN have to pay attention to the signs of any and all things. People are so afraid of being alone. They cannot see themselves alone. They rather deal with fighting and arguing, instead of saying… look we cannot get alone, lets go our separate ways. This is why so many men and women have self esteem issues. They stay in relationships that they are not suppose to be in.

Why is it so hard to leave? Fear of being alone, and seeing that person with someone else. SO WHAT!!! Especially if you’re not getting alone. Who wants to wake up arguing everyday, holding grudges and CONSTANTLY talking about the same issues day after day after day? I just don’t have that kinda time. Many people don’t like the thing of meeting someone new, getting to know new families, dating, meeting the kids and those kinds of things associated with meeting someone new. But its better than being in a relationship that clearly isn’t going anywhere right? Some will say, they just don’t want to put the time into it, so they stay.

I have plenty of things to say about this topic. Stay tuned.

I am La’Crease… and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE!

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Balance/BLOG

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Back in the day, I would be the LAST person to write on this subject, because I had the biggest attitude in the world. My own mother told me.. ” If you don’t change your attitude someone is going to kill you one day.” For some reason I believed her. I had a FUNKY attitude.

Today… I just can’t walk around like that. I can’t do it. I see so many young gurls walk around with their faces disfigured from frowning, from being mad and angry. So, one day I said God, why is it that I’m connected to these frowns? Am I being paid back for how I use to be? Sometimes I can’t stand to see it, but he always remind me that I was once that same way. I have to deal with it. Thing is…. these days, I most likely know why they are having these issues.

For me it was the stress of my daughters father, my job, whether it was low paying,  or not enough hours, transportation, or babysitter. It was bills, friends getting on my nerves, falling out with neighbors, deciding what to cook or simple as not getting enough sleep. Didn’t matter I always had an attitude. I was mad at the world.

I realized that I didn’t have balance. I didn’t know how to balance my family, job, friends, bills, male friends, any of those things. I didn’t have order. Each day came and did what it wanted to do with me and I had no control. I didn’t have a “to do” list, I just got up out of bed and lived.

Today, I am so well balanced. Of course Im going to always feel that I can do more with my time, but I finally learned how to balance. Its so important. You have to have God time, that’s where your strength come from. You must spend time with your family, your siblings, parents, and friends. It has to be a balance. But whenever you do, make sure you spend time with yourself.

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