Took Me Long Enough.. But I Got It!/BLOG

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As long as I can remember I was ALWAYS that little girl that felt that if me and my family was going to the park, why not ask if my friend Michelle could go. Not knowing that it was family day. Meaning that my parents only wanted our family to go, and that was it.

For the life of me, I couldn’t UNDERSTAND why my friend couldn’t go to join in on the fun. I thought…. all we were doing was going to the park to swing and play! That never made sense to me. As a child, I didn’t realize that parents have a reason for doing what they did. Maybe they didn’t have the extra money to buy her snacks, maybe they had just enough just for us. Maybe it wasn’t enough room for her in the car, because they were picking up groceries on the way home. Maybe, we were going out to dinner afterwards and there was only enough money for our family. No matter how my parents explained that to my little mind, I still couldn’t understand why my friend couldn’t go.

Which takes me into my ADULTHOOD.

I know, I know a lot of people, and that my personality is big. I get that about myself.  I remember this one time, me and my friend Gloria was going to the movies and out to dinner. I hung up with her after making our plans, to call a few OTHER friends and invite them to go with us. In MY mind, I felt…. Well, they wanted to see this same movie, why not invite them. So, when we got there, Gloria asked me….. who invited them? Even though she knew them, and liked them, she just wanted it to be HER AND I. I couldn’t understand that. In MY mind…. (( going back to that little gurl)) I felt that if we all wanted to see the SAME movie, why not invite them? I did that to my friend so many times that it saddens me to this day. It saddens me because I didn’t get it. I didn’t get the fact that everything is not for everyone. Its OK, if she only wanted to be with ME. She wasn’t being selfish, like I thought. Its a time for a few, and its a time for all. I couldn’t get that. 

Thinking back I DID that quite often. Not only that. But I trust people too easily. Again, growing up we lived in a house where if you laid something down, it was there when you went back to it. We were taught, if we go visit someone, and they have money or anything that DIDN’T BELONG to us, laying around.. DO NOT TOUCH IT! DON’T GO NEAR IT! So, when I was grown and moved out. I lived by those standards. But what I didn’t know was that not everyone was taught that. Man, I had so many things to learn that was taught differently in my home. I had a hard time adjusting to how things were in the world versus how I was raised. I feel like crying right now….. tears.

I got hurt so many times trusting people. Believing that everybody was good. Picking up strangers on the way to where I’m GOING… got side tracked several years. Sent me spinning. I should have been to where I was going.

My mentality WAS that if I’m going to the same place you’re going… “lets hop a cab and split it”..  ((( in my Andre 3000 voice.. John Legend -Green Light))) never knowing that it was okay to pay the whole fare BY MYSELF!  I don’t need to ride with you. And I’ll still be good!

I realize that where I’m going, everybody can’t go. Same for others, I can’t go everywhere with them either.  Even if we’re going the same way, you have to take your own car. You can’t ride with me, because just like my friend Gloria where ever I’m going they may just want it to be me and them. I learned that you can’t tell everybody everything, because in the pureness if me telling my story from my heart, my same story will be heard differently by someone else. I had to learn that too. But you know, that will NEVER happen to me again. What I know.. I know.. My friend is MY friend, Where God wants me to go.. I’m going alone.

I’ve lost too much time, messing around with people who don’t mean me any good.. And oh, I know how to fall back. I just didn’t know if I should.

That Chapter is OVER FOR ME….. I’M ready to RECEIVE LORD!

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How I Gained Back My Self Esteem/ PART 2/BLOG

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I was 24 years old (( 6 years in)) when I FINALLY came to my MIND. When I started talking to God about what I was going through. I thought that I would never get over my daughters father. The more sex I had with him, the more I loved him. That’s when I found out that SEX was the soul-tie that kept my mind on this man. The first thing I learned I had to do was, stop the sex. It was so hard. So so so very hard. Every time I saw him, we were a magnet and I had to give it to him. I knew if I could just stop the sex then I would be able to get over him. Sad thing about it,  I knew in my heart that he had to do something terrible to me, to turn me off from him, and that would be how I would be able to walk away. Its a shame that in order for me to get over this man, something bad had to happen. We never fought EVER, so I knew it wouldn’t be that, but it was something, and  when it happened…..I knew then that I had to let him go.

I started reading my Bible and separating myself from my friends to be more in tuned with God. I started reading how much God loved me no matter what I did. In my mind he was in charge of my LIFE. He was the man I had to please, and that’s when I started learning my worth. I was never a person who compared myself to other women, because it was clear to me that GOD MADE EVERYONE DIFFERENT. I enjoyed and loved the fact that I WAS THE ONLY ONE MADE LIKE ME. You can say, I favor this person or that person, but I was the ONLY LACREASE GOD MADE…and that made me HAPPY. So that alone made me NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want or desire to be like anyone else,  because I KNEW.. that God loved me enough to make ONLY ONE of me, and I love ME.

Then, I had to learn and write down all the things God Blessed me with. I had to read it daily. I had to learn my worth all over again. I had to know it without a doubt. I had to live it. I had to think it, I had to see it ON ME. And here is what I started with.

NOW THIS IS MYYYYYYYYYY LIST…. you make your own list. Remember we are all different.

  • I grew up with both parents in the home, and they helped me with everything I needed.
  • I  got my  first apartment me and my daughter, and a job.
  • I was funny, loved people, loved to laugh and pretty
  • I had a beautiful shape, and wore clothes to compliment my body (( never disrespectful))
  • Had lots of friends and loved the Lord

One of the biggest conclusions IN MY LIFE that God helped me come to was that MEN wanted SEX. What I ( women)  have the men want !!! I had to learn the POWER in it. I learned it was OK to keep it to myself…. its mine. We women don’t have to give it away. Its so much POWER in the vagina. Its not to be shared with everyone. Its yours and all the boys want it. No! No! No! Learn this TODAY! You do NOT have to  give up your vagina.

Fast forward to today. I spend time with myself learning myself daily. Learning my wants/needs and don’t need. Learning things I will NOT ACCEPT. For example.. Married Men.

I met this guy at my job, he comes in often and he calls me “Momma cool”… why I dunno. This man is soooooo fine to me. He’s attracted to me and I’m attracted to him. He’s my type of man IF he wasn’t married. Now, I will NEVER EVER talk, meet, or see this man outside of my job. I will not engage in any conversation with a him or any married man, unless its work related, or God. That’s apart of building my self esteem. KNOWING WHO I AM. My self esteem stays ON 100 because I will not engage in anything not healthy for me and will disappoint God, especially when I know better.When you start crossing lines and doing things out of YOUR CHARACTER, that’s when your self esteem start going DOWN DOWN DOWN. Depression sets in, suicide, doubt , fear all that stuff starts to creep in. Cut off any thing that YOU KNOW is not good for you, because if you don’t you’ll find yourself in trouble. Stay inside of your worth!!! Married MEN ARE OFF LIMITS.. PERIOD! Once you exchange phone numbers….. THAT’S IT!

Take trips. Go to the park alone to spend time with God. Clear your mind. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.. MAKE IT HAPPEN! Go to lunch alone, you dont have to take the kids all the time. Think about yourself. Whats your favorite desert? Go to Dairy Queen alone. Stop feeling guilty because you didn’t take the kids this time.. ITS OKAY. I promise you. Go to Bath and Body Works and buy not one but 4 different scents of lotions, its OKAY. Learn what you like and will  buy the next time you visit. I will book a hotel an hour away from me in a minute! Book a room for the weekend. Have someone to watch the kids… Go alone, make plans to do things while you’re there.

Listen… I will jump in my car and go to the park and sit for hours in the sun enjoying myself. I may have music or I talk to God. I use to be “scared” to go to dinner alone, because I always took my daughter or a friend… YEAH OKAY… I WILL hop in the car and go sit my but down alone so fast. I love getting to know myself. I love me. God made me and there is no one else like ME, and guess what… JUST AS I LEARNED THIS ABOUT ME…. YOU CAN TOO!!! Be your own “to do list”…. life is not about having Sex all the time, sitting on the porch watching cars ride by, going neighbor to neighbor needing someone to go shopping with you. Get to learn yourself, know what you will and will NOT ACCEPT from a friendship, or relationship. Do YOUR own thang in your spare time, and treat yourself. ITS OKAY!!!

Be Blessed!

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My time in ATLANTA/BLOG

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Hey Family

Im home from my trip to Atlanta. If you know me, you know I love Atlanta. I went for my daughter’s family reunion when I was 23 or 24 (( now 49))  and I fell in LOVE. I always said that I wanted to move there. Me and my cousin both kept saying it. This was during the time of the freak nik. When the college kids and others drove to Atlanta and had weekend parties. I remember that year having so much fun, that I came home told my 3 BFF’s about it, and we planned a trip on the spot and went 2 months later. In that trip we took my cousin and she stayed NEVER EVER to return. I hate I didn’t get a chance to see her this weekend when I went to their hotel for a moment.

I lOOOOOOVE to drive, so me and my daughter rented a truck, packed up and we hit I-75 straight to Atlanta. We left at 2:30 am, got there at 4:00 pm. We ran into a accident involving 2 trucks. We didn’t see the accident because it was raining, but so happens when the traffic stopped we were the 3rd car behind it. Funny thing… well not so funny, is that it really wasn’t an accident, the truck slid and to keep from going over, somehow the driver made his truck go side ways and BLOCKED OFF ALL LANES TO GET PASS!!! So we waited an hour and a half PLUS for crews to get there and move the truck out of the way. So that took us a wait.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.. We made reservations to stay at one of my favorite places in Sandy Springs. I made reservations back in Feb, but had to cancel that date on June 12, because we were arriving one day later. I changed it, and that was final.

We  made it to Atlanta at 3:30 and on the reservation it said that if you are going to be later than 4 please call the hotel directly and tell the desk clerk. Well my daughter made the call and told her we would be there at 4. Before my daughter could get a word out, the lady said.. “we’re sold out”, and I didn’t see your name on guest list. My daughter knew I was going to be MAD! So she said momma talk to this lady she said we are not on the guest list. So, I grabbed the phone and said Hello, ((( in a low calm voice))) we made reservations in this hotel and I dont understand why you dont see my name in your system, when I have my EMAIL CONFIRMATION RIGHT HERE, AND THE DATE FOR TODAY. I can hear lies in her voice, and right now as I was driving, I’m PISSED…. I’m so mad, I’m about to cry because I drove straight for 12 plus hours and she’s telling me that she doesn’t see my reservation in her system when I clearly see it in my email. Then she says.. well you can call around to our other property to see if they have some available. That’s when my daughter said “why should we have to call around this is your fault?” I told her you know what? IM ON MY WAY! I was DONE  talking over the phone. I wanted to look her in her eyes.

We arrived at 4:00 on the dot!! Before I went in.. God had a pep talk with me because HE KNOW.. I will tear the place DOWN with my bare hands. I always try to have patience with people, before I nut up.

We walked in and she ALREADY KNOW its ME. MY face was twisted and I’m looking at her name badge.  She was on the phone with another property manager trying to get us a room over there. When I’m talking business, I always speak in a low, to the point, voice, with EYE CONTACT THAT WILL make a MAN nervous. I found out that for black people, folks (( blacks and white)) LOVE to say, she had an attitude, she harassed me, her voice was intimidating, she scared me, she cursed me out, she was yelling at me, so I had to learn how to speak when I’m angry, in order to get to the bottom of a situation. She kept saying that I wasn’t in her system, so when I showed her my reservation she looked at it and said.. “OH it says June 12, that was yesterday.. I SAID LOOK AT IT AGAIN.. IT SAYS JULY 12.. NOT JUNE! She looked at it again and said.. Oh. Which even pissed me off even more, because she TRIED to find fault in me, when she knew she was the one at fault.  She held on while the property manager at the other place wanted to speak to me. She gave me the phone and I told him upfront… LISTEN.. I dont live raggedy at home, and I’m not here in Atlanta to sleep in any ole neighborhood and hotel. He said okay maam, this place is not as nice as the one you’re at, but it is CLEAN.. and I do have a room for you. WE left, and went over to his property. When we saw that out house looking place I wanted to drag him in that back office and lock him in the building for 50 days, no water no food!!!! He knew by our conversations and the way We presented ourselves that We wasn’t going to stay in some renkedink hotel. NEVA!!!!  RAGGEDY!!!! I was pissed! 😡😡

Long story short (( cause I’m getting mad all over again)). WE left there and went to 3 hotels before we found one NOT sold out!! Anddddddd after sharing my story we got upgraded to a Suite for FREE. I was just sharing with the front desk clerk because I was frustrated, not even throwing hints for anything. It was deep into the 14th hour of driving and I was tired.

The next day… YOU KNOW THIS VIRGO jumped on the phone and called her manager about what happened…. he seemed to be her friend and asked me, was I going to be there the following week , he would have a room for me.. GTFOH! IM DONE WITH YALL!

But over all, we HAD A GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TIME! YES WE DID!

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Just things/BLOG

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Today is a good day. I’m writing down my thoughts. Things that’s on my mind, things I need to do, things I think about for my future. Just things.

Last night, I was thinking about how we want something so badly and never realize that we already had/ have it. Sometimes it takes years and years and years to realize it. You will only know when you come to a place of peace in all areas of your life. You will look back and see that it was already there. Already yours. Wow, that’s so huge for me. Today I smile, with Love in my heart. I’m happy.  The next level will be even greater. I’m looking forward to it. Thank you Jesus, Thank you Lord.

Next year this time I plan to put together a Women’s Gathering. I use to have these all the time at my home. I’m glad to get back to it. We would have a great time. People always ask me about putting together more of them.  I want to be mentally and physically ready for this challenge. I’m a Virgo so you already know we like our things in ORDER. I don’t play a put together gathering, and a skimpy menu. All my life I’ve worked with teens in my home, or at a school, I love my teens, but I see a lot of work needs to be done with the parents, and with Women in general. Women are just allowing anything to take place in their lives and in their presence. Accepting any and everything that’s offered to us that we feel we can’t do ourselves.

You want to know what the hard part for me is? The HARD PART. Its the fact that I was one of those women with low self esteem, dealing with a man that sold drugs, being attracted to that life at an early age when I lived on the one sided block with the Chamber Brothers (( New Jack City Movie)), because they were my friends. Dealing with drama from my daughters father at an early age. Loved to date married men. I always made my own money so I was NEVER influence by that life. For me it was being in the mist of it all.

The HARD PART FOR ME… is that now that I’m no longer living that life at all PERIOD. I talk to women day in and day out, and its so HARD getting women to understand their worth. Its so hard. Sometimes I ask God, how did I end up with this job? LOL I say that because I never knew that through all my pain in those days that God could USE ME to help OTHER women, when I went through the same thing. Like, how am I in this position to help others?  Me? I guess its because I’ve been through it. I know all the twist and turns, the mind games, the manipulation, the ups and downs, the late night cries, early morning prayer for myself to be healed. I know it all. I still wonder how did I escape with my mind. Because I was CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY back in my twenties. LOL I guess that’s what makes me the best candidate. And for some reason I LOVE DOING WHAT I DO.

When I put together this gathering its going to be talked about for months and years to come ! I’m a VISUAL person and what I have planned is going to take it to another level in WOMEN GATHERINGS. I betcha!

I’m closing for now Be Blessed!

I am La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else!

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Wedding Planning-Things I learned/BLOG

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So yes, I did a Wedding on Saturday and it was really a joy. Well worth the EXPERIENCE!  I really enjoyed myself and learned a whole lot.. about people, how important it is to communicate, and patience.

I learned early on that you have to have some tough skin doing this job dealing with lots of different personalities. Because if you don’t you’ll find yourself throwing up the DEUCE sign to your Bride and The Wedding! LOL The most important thing to ME.. IS COMMUNICATION. Sometimes I think that I am too……… DIRECT. I want to be this way, but at the same time not overwhelming. Sometimes people feel that just because they don’t have the answer to the questions that its a wrong thing. Its for you to think about it/consider it… if you don’t. Trust me the questions that I ask EARLY… will be the same ones you’ll HAVE TO face LATER.

When planning a Wedding its very important for the planner to know EVERYTHING. I don’t like being in position not knowing the answers. I want to be the BRIDES EYES AND EARS. I don’t ever want to call a Bride when she’s getting dressed to ask simple questions that I should know… unless it something that came up and I need a second opinion about it. This is why I ask a lot of questions through out the planning process. I can see so clearly the day of a Wedding. I can see the set up, the guest, the venue, I can see it all and inside of what I see, I CAN SEE TINY DETAILS that need ATTENTION.  When I feed the Homeless for Thanksgiving… we have fed up to 160 plus people. I know my vision and what I want to do. I know the menu and what all goes into a dish. For example.. If I make string beans, I want some kind of meat and potatoes ((( NO EXCEPTIONS))) to go in them. It has to be seasoned very well. I will never leave the store without these things going into my food. Now if  you are doing the cooking yourself (( paying someone )) and I know your menu I will make sure you have these things for the cook, even if its more money. We want it cooked right, no half stepping. This is YOUR NAME  and the COOKS name on the line. That was something that I learned to make sure I KNOW THE MENU.. SO THAT I CAN MAKE SURE THE BRIDE HAS PURCHASED EVERYTHING THAT IT TAKES TO GO INTO THAT DISH.

If the Bride has found vendors on her own, I want to know their names, company, and what time will they arrive at the venue. THIS IS IMPORTANT. I don’t want to open the door and look at them like……. “WHO ARE YOU?” Noooo, not La’Crease Walker. I want to have that look as if my eyes say……. ” I was expecting you!”

I have so much more to write about tomorrow. But again.. I enjoyed myself at Rana’s & Calvin’s Wedding, and I’m looking forward to Tosha and Jimel 7/16/16

I AM La’Crease ((  and I don’t have to do anything else))

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My baby, Tyler Perry, My niece, Red Tent/BLOG

FullSizeRender (13)Hey Yall!!

Today is Saturday, and I decided to drop in before I head out to help my daughter get dressed for her Job Fund Raiser at the Charles Wright Museum.She works with a lot of  Famous Community Leaders, it would be fun for me, but its work for her.

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Anyway….my mom just sent me a inbox ( hahaha) yes she’s on FB.  This is what she wrote: “Its been two days now”. LOL That means she wants to see me and she haven’t heard or saw me in two days. Little does she know my Sisters, neices and I are going over to her apartment to see her today at 5. My momma is so funny. I don’t think she could go 4 days without seeing me or hearing from me. I love my Princess!! So yes…. As you all have read over the internet that my brother TYLER PERRY had his son Nov 30, .. Yesss… I’m so happy for him and Gelila. He’s been saying in interviews how he wants a son. And guess what? I have 2 nieces, and one of them is born Nov 30 nell photos. So now I have a nephew and a niece born on that day. Yall know I’m geeked right? LOL Congratulations Tyler!!!

I’m not really a TV watcher. I do have my favorite shows that I watch. But as I was flicking through the stations last night. I came across this movie The Red Tent. Its about Dinah the only daughter of Jacob. Well it tells her story. And let me say this, if you don’t know the story, you will think it went that way. There was fiction added to the movies, thats why you have to know the Bible for yourself. All while watching it, I was like.. “well dang, I thought the story went another way”. Then it hit me….yea… gotta watch out for these Biblical Stories that’s at the movies and on TV. They will have you straight knowing the Bible WRONG! LOL SMH The point I was about to make is… oooo weee the fione young thang who played her husband OMGGGGGGGG.. this man was so fione…he took my breath away. So, you know me the researcher… looked this dude up… this lil boy 22 years old. Now this is him as himself… But baaaaby…. whoooo Lawd… here is a photo of him below in the movie. I need to find the photo of him with a full beard.. dark…. sexy.. omggg.

Alright let me go.. I’ll check in later.

Cree 

 

Funny Pranks/BLOG

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Okay its late…. I need to be in bed for work tomorrow morning.. I took a nap…. oh boy.. and its almost 3am. Craaaaaaaaazy right? As you all know I love PRANKS… I’m not a prankster at all… but I seem to always be the person being pranked. LOL  Here is a video that my Fousey did… this boy have me rolling with his videos… its a wonder they don’t put me out of my apartment complex. LOL  PART 1 AND 2 . HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS BOY 🙂