Higher Is Waiting Question 4/BLOG

 

Recall a time in your childhood when a friend or relative helped to change you in a important way?

My Aunt Wana! She’s my mom’s only sibling and baby Sister. When she use to pick us up and take us to her house or we’ll go to one of her friends house. We would be in the room playing , and no matter how much fun they were having she would always cut off from them and come peep in the room and ask us ” Are yall okay?” She wouldn’t depend on the normal “YES”, she would look us ALL in our eyes to make sure that we were really Okay. She wasn’t leaving that room, until she was satisfied with the desire results she came for.

In my kid mind, I saw that they were having so much fun. They were playing cards,  music, dancing, drinking, eating, laughing and talking to each other. I couldn’t understand then, why she use to come check up on us so many times. But she knew. She knew what could happen in a few minutes, she knew that someone could be hurt and she couldn’t see them. She knew that kids say everything is fine, when something else could be going on. To her, it didn’t matter how much fun she was having, she took a break from her fun to make sure we were okay. That stuck with me to this day.

When my daughter was a kid and had company, I would do the very same thing. I dont care how much laughing I was doing with my friends, I had to make sure the kids was okay. I had to look them in their eyes to make sure no one is crying for help and I over looked it. I had to know before I close that door and go back to my friends that these kids were alright.

That changed me in a important way, because it lets me know that no matter how busy God seem to a person, he ALWAYS check in on his kids! US! We are never alone, and he always watches over us no matter what. He will never leave us to do what we want without checking in. When it seems as if he’s not around, he is always PRESENT!

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Higher Is Waiting Question 3/BLOG

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How do you “hear” God?

I hear God by KNOWING that the words spoken in my mind/soul/heart are NOT words I would say myself.

The best way for me to explain this is by stories of my Life Lessons.

One day I was at the red light, on the over pass, on my way to work, when I heard God say.. LaCrease pray RIGHT NOW as if today was your last day living. He said PRAY NOW. At first I thought I was tripping, because it was with urgency and he said before the light turn green. I remember saying.. God right now? He said pray NOW. I remember saying Lord Thank you for my life, my family that you hand picked for me. Forgive me for all my Sins, known and unknown. I told him that I wanted to LIVE with him forever. Then….. the light turned green and I was about to enter I-94. As I was driving, I’m thinking okay what is God up too, what is going on? He knows I ask a lot of questions and think a lot. I’m wondering if I was about to die, I didn’t know what was happening, but I PRAYED just as he told me.

I’m driving and JUST LIKE THAT… I started thinking about something else, and forgot all about the prayer I just prayed.

Just as I turned the radio on, and continued to drive to work.. all I saw was BRIGHT RED LIGHTS in front of me. People were breaking hard in front of me. I didn’t know what was going on to cause this all of a sudden STOP. The truck in front of me was blocking my view so I had to rely on him when to stop breaking. All of a sudden, he swerved over to the left, and that’s when I was able to see what he was seeing. When he swerved over I was RIGHT THERE about to run in the back of another TRUCK/SUV HARD!!!! When I say HARD… There was NO WAY in this world I would have survived that accident.  NO WAY!!!! I WAS DEAD!!! The truck that swerved over to the left  allowed me to see that HE was about to run into the back of another SUV truck. Once I saw what he saw, not only was I BREAKING REALLY HARD.. but I didn’t have enough time to stop, so I to had to swerve to the left.. THANK GOD NO OTHER CAR WAS THERE.

I would have DIED.. The impact would have crushed the front end of my car so badly, that it would have blew my chest out. It gave me a headache so badly. It never went away that day. My breaks took a beating too. LOL I went to work feeling so Thankful, I couldn’t stop thinking about God and HOW I HEARD HIS VOICE. This is one of the many stories I share with people all the time. You have to tune into that still voice.

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting

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Higher Is Waiting Question 2/BLOG

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Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring. It means trusting and allowing things to be tended by God. When have you done this in your life? What happened?

When I moved back home from Atlanta.

I’ve been wanting to move there since I was 22 years old (( now 50)). I moved Sep 3, 2012 on my Birthday, NEVER telling anyone how much pain I was REALLY in concerning my leg and barely being able to walk. One day before moving to Atlanta, I woke up unable to walk from the pain in my left calf area. When I got there I went on a interview and barely made it up the flight of stairs. I knew then, that I would never be able to stand at a job for 8 hours. I knew that if I went back home, I could get well, and go back to my old job of 9 years, but I was determined to stay there and make it.  I was so depressed when I was there.  I knew it would get better, but when? I had been waiting my whole life to move there, only to get there and not be able to walk.

At this point, I had made up in my mind that I was going back home to Detroit. So, one day I went on line looking for apartments, when I came across this one  Downtown. I thought, I could never live there. I always wanted to live Downtown Detroit, but knew the rent was too high. But this one kept standing out to me, KNOWING I COULDN’T AFFORD IT!!! That’s when I heard God say, YOU WILL LIVE THERE! I knew it was him speaking because I know his voice, I wouldn’t TELL MYSELF THIS.  Simply because I already came to MY OWN CONCLUSION that I couldn’t afford it. I immediately made an appointment to see it, while I was still in Atlanta. I had money, but I didn’t have the strength to stay while in so much pain.

I drove home from Atlanta and had to move in with my daughter, which killed me as a MOTHER because I wanted her to enjoy her new place. But she welcomed me, and saw how much pain I was in. When I say she nursed me back to health, mentality and Spiritually….. She did that! Not only that, but her DOWNTOWN apartment was around the corner from the one I made an appointment with. Never knew that when God told me I would move there.

The day after I made it back to Detroit, I went to see the apartment and I HATED IT. Told God I will NEVER EVER MOVE THERE!!!!!! EVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! I hated everything about it. Only 1 of the 3 elevators were working. There were ” Under Construction” notices everywhere. The atmosphere was terrible. The apartment that I saw was nice, but it needed upgrading, it was not enough for me to move in. I did LOVE how they kept the grounds up. I loved the Downtown location, but I hated all the construction going on. I just couldn’t see the vision.

I went back to my daughter’s apartment and told her how I hated it and that I was DONE!!! Told her, I would NEVER EVER move over there. I was done with everything. I couldn’t walk, didn’t want to go back to my job of 9 years. I was DONE!!!! Then I caught a bad cold,  I was depressed and even got into the worst argument with my brother in all of our life. I cried everyday, all day, the moment my daughter left out for work. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. I cried so much that I told God that if he gave me until a certain date (( cant remember it )) that I would stop, just allow me to keep crying. That day came… and I gave everything to GOD. Total Surrender!!

A few months later, my daughter was working to help a young lady find a apartment, without remembering the building I went to when I first came home, she told me she went to see one. I remember saying to her, “THAT’S THE SAME APARTMENT I LOOKED AT”. She said momma its nice over there, they’re doing repairs and the apartments are nice. She went on and on about how they looked.  The way she talked about this building made me want to see it again for myself. So, it made me wonder if I was just depressed and down at that time that I was over looking the potential of the building.

The very next day I made an appointment to see it again. I fell in LOVE. I don’t know how I over looked how well the building would look as it came together with the repairs. It was like I had a new set of eyes. I applied that same day! The lady called me 3 days later and told me to come and pick up my keys that was Dec of 2012. God told me that I would move there, and today I’ve been here for almost 5 years. Shortly after, I moved my parents DIRECTLY AROUND the corner. I stayed in my original apartment for 2 years, then they told me that when my lease was up that I could move into a BRAND NEW APARTMENT.

My APARTMENT IS BRAND NEW! ALL NEW EVERYTHING!!! I’M THE FIRST PERSON TO LIVE HERE WITH THIS UPGRADE. God told me that I would live here, even when I said NEVER and never thought about it again. When I gave up the control and trusted God that’s when I Surrendered. I’ve been at PEACE and happy ever since!!! I LOVE not only my apartment… but my DOWNTOWN LIVING! It happened just as God said it would. Thank you Lord! You gave me my hearts desire, forgetting that I prayed to live Downtown a long time ago. Thank you!

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting

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Higher Is Waiting Question 1/BLOG

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What was the first Spiritual seed that was planted in your soul?

It would surely be the time when I was about 19 or 20. I love to walk, so one day I told my dad that I was going to take a walk, but the neighborhood that I wanted to walk through wasn’t safe. Especially for me to walk alone. Well, I felt that I was grown, and decided to walk it anyway. He had his opinion about it, and I was cool with that. But I wanted to go, and I did.

I walked to my aunt’s house, but didn’t go in,  it was getting dark so I turned around and started heading home. As I was walking, I came to this alley and before I crossed it, I looked down it to make sure no one was coming. Lots of women were getting raped in alleys back in those days, not to mention how creepy they were. As I’m staring down this alley so tough as I pass it, there was this long tree branch that hung over into the sidewalk AT THE ALLEY to where you can’t see whats in front of you until you pass it. Well, just as I passed it, there was this man RIGHT THERE walking towards me.  This man scared me so bad, that it felt as if my heart jumped out of my body!!! I just knew that I wouldn’t see my family again. To this day, I can never think of a time, where my heart was beating so fast. All I could think of was what my daddy told me about that neighborhood. His whole conversation played in my mind in this moment. I DID NOT SEE THIS MAN AT ALL BECAUSE OF THE TREE BRANCHES. Thing was, he was only walking just as I was. He didn’t want any trouble, he only wanted to pass me so that he could get to where he was going.

That’s when I heard God speak to me, so loud and so clear FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME as I hurried home. He said to me. Your dad was only protecting you from the dangers that you cannot see. He told you NOT to walk this neighborhood but you did it anyway. He said that man was only there to show you what you cant see.

All the way home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what God said to me, and how I heard his voice for the very first time. I will never ever, ever, ever forget that experience and how I disobeyed my dad. God showed me that no matter how grown I am, he is always present, and that I shouldn’t ignore sound advice ((( FROM ANYONE))) just because I’m grown.

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s Book Higher Is Waiting

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Men Who Cheat and Consequences/Kevin Hart/Blog

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Oh boy!!!! Are words I blurt out when I see trouble or about to hear bad news. And OH BOY (( say it quickly)) is one I have to use for Kevin Hart. But this is not all about Kevin. 

When I first saw Torrei Hart on Hollywood Wives, I liked her. I knew she was spicy and that she was very expressive. But I never knew she was Kevin Hart’s EX wife. When I found out, I saw the hurt in her eyes, the pain, the feeling of neglect. I can only imagine how she felt holding Kevin down through his broke years. Then once he came up, made jokes about their personal lives to the public, cheated on her……and MARRIED the one he cheated with. I know this new wife had to feel special that Kevin Hart would choose her to cheat with, fall in love, divorce his wife, then marry her. I’m a woman I know how special that would feel. But you know what?  That cheating mess, there is a saying…..The way she got him, is the way she’ll lose him.

I know that feeling of being cheated on (( even though I’m not married)), I’m a WOMAN and I can tell you all the things Eniko felt. Her heart dropped to the floor. It felt like someone was pounding on her chest. She was devastated. She probably stared into space for hours. She cried and screamed to Kevin and alone. Then… she thought about WHO ALL KNOWS… the public, her family and friends, her nay sayers, the kids, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM….. and Ahhhh yeaaaa TORREI HART.

Kevin put Eniko on the highest peddle stool to the WORLD… then dropped kicked her while pregnant. Calling her his rib and then cheating on her at a WOMAN’S WORST TIME EVER—PREGNANT! I really hope that she can get over this. She may or not be as strong as Torrei, but she surely has to deal with it. Being cheated on and being a public figure gotta be hard. Its hard being a regular person when all your family and friends know. Then if his wife chose to stay with him, Oh she’s going to be insecure.  From this day forward.. KEVIN WILL BE ANSWERING QUESTIONS HE NEVER THOUGHT COULD COME TO A WOMAN’S MIND!!! And he deserves it.

See this is how being insecure grows in a relationship. This is the start of Eniko checking pants pockets, checking his cellphone, inboxes, calling the set, calling the hotel,  calling his family asking his whereabouts, calling his friends,  giving them the side eye because she took them on as friends, and felt that should have helped him to stay faithful, all to make sure it wont happen again. I bet she’s feeling that she gotta stay with him, because WOMEN HATE TO LEAVE A MAN WHEN HE’S DOWN!!! Flat out we are weak like that. A woman will NEVER leave a man when the world is against him, cause we hate to see a man cry over the fact that he just lost his family…. UNLESS this is his 3-4-5 time of more cheating. But that same negra will leave yo ass for a woman he thinks is the catch of the day! I hope yall learning something. I don’t usually curse in my blogs. Before we hand him over to the world, we will make him remember this for the rest of his life.

Now knowing this, I wouldn’t doubt if  Kevin at least once  asked Torrei to be with him while he was married. We see Its still in him to have his cake and eat it too. And if she didn’t give it up.. I’M WILLING TO BET.. HE ASK FOR IT!!! SMH

I’m a woman…. . And let me say this…….. Kevin is going to spend years trying to make up to Eniko, answering all her questions (( and its going to drive him crazy)) to keep her secure (( which she’ll never be again)), but after a while…. that’s gon end because he’s going to get tired of it, because he wont be cheating anymore. But her nagging is going to make him want to go back out there. She wont be able to help it.

I read that Eniko came for Torrei just recently.. PUBLICLY… making a point of telling just how long she was with Kevin, which proved that he was cheating with her when he was married Torrei. Then for this to come out… Eniko boo, you got a lot to learn when it comes to bumping dem gums. What you say to hurt someone, will surely come back to you during the most sensitive time in your life. You EARNED THIS ONE!!!

Do I think Torrei should have gotten on TV and did interviews after this story broke… NO. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t do the father of my children like that. I would have just sat back in my living room with my LEGS CROSSED, and WATCH IT GO DOWN. I wouldn’t do one interview. I’ll sit back and watch Eniko look twisted face in every video, photo, and interview out there. Had Torrei not said a thing, Kevin would’ve been calling, texting, in-boxing and beating her door down, to ask her WHAT SHE THOUGHT OF THE SITUATION… When the tables turned in my case, it felt good to know that what ONE WOMAN DID TO MEEEEEEEE… IS HAVING IT DONE TO HER WITH THE SAME MAN. God forgive me on this one,  IT WAS BACK THEN… but it was my truth. and let me say this…… After I did all my laughing, and watched it all go down without opening my mouth, I opened up to her because she needed  someone to talk to that can relate to the same situation with the SAME MAN. There is NO OTHER WOMAN on EARTH that Eniko can talk to about Kevin… than Torrei Hart!

LaCrease. how do you know this so well… GLAD YOU ASKED…… BECAUSE I AM TORREI HART.. THIS WAS MY STORY….. AND I’M STILL SITTING BACK WITH MY LEGS CROSSED. Thing is….I’m not laughing anymore….. because I grew up and realized that these things hurt us women. I speak to WOMEN EVERY DAY about how to get over this pain and how to move on. I have helped so many women. I truly believe that I went through this so that I can help others. and I’m doing it everyday with BOLDNESS!

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Took Me Long Enough.. But I Got It!/BLOG

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As long as I can remember I was ALWAYS that little girl that felt that if me and my family was going to the park, why not ask if my friend Michelle could go. Not knowing that it was family day. Meaning that my parents only wanted our family to go, and that was it.

For the life of me, I couldn’t UNDERSTAND why my friend couldn’t go to join in on the fun. I thought…. all we were doing was going to the park to swing and play! That never made sense to me. As a child, I didn’t realize that parents have a reason for doing what they did. Maybe they didn’t have the extra money to buy her snacks, maybe they had just enough just for us. Maybe it wasn’t enough room for her in the car, because they were picking up groceries on the way home. Maybe, we were going out to dinner afterwards and there was only enough money for our family. No matter how my parents explained that to my little mind, I still couldn’t understand why my friend couldn’t go.

Which takes me into my ADULTHOOD.

I know, I know a lot of people, and that my personality is big. I get that about myself.  I remember this one time, me and my friend Gloria was going to the movies and out to dinner. I hung up with her after making our plans, to call a few OTHER friends and invite them to go with us. In MY mind, I felt…. Well, they wanted to see this same movie, why not invite them. So, when we got there, Gloria asked me….. who invited them? Even though she knew them, and liked them, she just wanted it to be HER AND I. I couldn’t understand that. In MY mind…. (( going back to that little gurl)) I felt that if we all wanted to see the SAME movie, why not invite them? I did that to my friend so many times that it saddens me to this day. It saddens me because I didn’t get it. I didn’t get the fact that everything is not for everyone. Its OK, if she only wanted to be with ME. She wasn’t being selfish, like I thought. Its a time for a few, and its a time for all. I couldn’t get that. 

Thinking back I DID that quite often. Not only that. But I trust people too easily. Again, growing up we lived in a house where if you laid something down, it was there when you went back to it. We were taught, if we go visit someone, and they have money or anything that DIDN’T BELONG to us, laying around.. DO NOT TOUCH IT! DON’T GO NEAR IT! So, when I was grown and moved out. I lived by those standards. But what I didn’t know was that not everyone was taught that. Man, I had so many things to learn that was taught differently in my home. I had a hard time adjusting to how things were in the world versus how I was raised. I feel like crying right now….. tears.

I got hurt so many times trusting people. Believing that everybody was good. Picking up strangers on the way to where I’m GOING… got side tracked several years. Sent me spinning. I should have been to where I was going.

My mentality WAS that if I’m going to the same place you’re going… “lets hop a cab and split it”..  ((( in my Andre 3000 voice.. John Legend -Green Light))) never knowing that it was okay to pay the whole fare BY MYSELF!  I don’t need to ride with you. And I’ll still be good!

I realize that where I’m going, everybody can’t go. Same for others, I can’t go everywhere with them either.  Even if we’re going the same way, you have to take your own car. You can’t ride with me, because just like my friend Gloria where ever I’m going they may just want it to be me and them. I learned that you can’t tell everybody everything, because in the pureness if me telling my story from my heart, my same story will be heard differently by someone else. I had to learn that too. But you know, that will NEVER happen to me again. What I know.. I know.. My friend is MY friend, Where God wants me to go.. I’m going alone.

I’ve lost too much time, messing around with people who don’t mean me any good.. And oh, I know how to fall back. I just didn’t know if I should.

That Chapter is OVER FOR ME….. I’M ready to RECEIVE LORD!

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God Told Me That I Was Getting In The Way With My Foolishness- PT 2/BLOG

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The following year, my daughter entered High School. She had a good 4 years, graduated, then decided that she would take a year off from school. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I wanted her to go straight to college because I know sometimes when kids take a year off, its hard to get back into the grove. But my baby was determined to go to college. She told me that she was tired, and that she really needed that time off.  I respect that, she broke it down and I got it. I didn’t want her to start a job either, because I KNEW that if she started working, it was a chance that she would get use to the money and never start college. That was happening to so many kids at the time. I made sure she didn’t need for anything.

Often times Nesha  and I would talk about that night God told me that I was getting in the way with my foolishness of who she was going to be. I was very conscience of everything I did, said, and exposed her to.  As I’m watching her grow up, I’m watching GOD work in her life. I’m watching every step of the way with excitement in my heart… asking just what is HE using my baby for? We both wanted to see where God was leading her, and sometimes its not what WE  have in PLAN.

On her way to an Event for her job

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She traveled in the summer with her dad, and when Fall came around she was ready for College. She wanted to become a Lawyer, so she went to school, did 4 years, and received her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. In her last year she went to work for the 36 District Courts here in Detroit where she worked in Forfeiture. She wanted to learn as much as she  could, so she sat with Judges, Criminal Prosecutors, and Defense Lawyers.  She also sat in the court room for every hearing of our former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.  It was a joy to see her on TV everyday.  Knowing in my heart how she felt about being in the presence of a court room and getting a feel of what she wanted to do. She was so well liked and known around the building for her ambition to learn. Several Judges wanted her to leave her department to work for them. She did. But as time passed, she started seeing in the court room how things were done and had a burning desire to help Women, Seniors and Children. She felt as if her need was elsewhere at that time, other than in the court room.

During that time, she helped me to put together The Feeding The Homeless Projects, and also my Youth Group Raisingurls To Women in my home. She enjoyed it and was a big help, more than I could ever explain.

She would always say Momma, I’ll go back to school later to become a Lawyer, but  right now I want to work with Youth and Family Services. I said baby…. this is YOUR LIFE…. you do what you are LEAD to do. She said I just dont want you to be disappointed. I told her NEVER THAT…. I’m just watching God do his work in you, I have raised you, you’re an adult now, you have your own relationship with God, you do what you want to do in life. With my Blessings (( in her heart)) she started working for a Non-Profit Organization. And when I tell you this gurl is doing her thing. I don’t have enough time to share it all. She went right in (( first job)) in 2012 worked her behind off, that THE CEO made her DIRECTOR OF FAMILY GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT !  Yess!!!!  She’s the Supervisor of 6 Clinicians . And I’m looking at God like…… Are you serious? You’re having me to witness all of this? And I’m so happy that he allowed me to share with her that night at 12 years old, that it was all about her. My foolishness had to end, so that I could focus on her, and raise her up, so that she could be used by him. What JOY I FEEL AS I WRITE THIS. THANK YOU JESUS, THANK YOU LORD.

Photo of her at 4 years old

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I don’t get a chance to see her work in person, and I have to make her tell me stories about what she does. She believes in helping others and not so much talking about it. But for me, its about seeing what God was talking about. Thanking him for getting me together so that I could raise her properly. So she shares some. But last week, I got to see for myself. We had planned to do a little shopping and get something to eat after she was done at work. She told me to pick her up at 5:00 but someone called and needed food and personal items because she didn’t have anything to feed her son. I told her that I would be there EARLY anyway (( I wanted to see the person)), the young lady jumped out of the passenger side of the truck and ran in the building. My daughter hand her this huge box full of food and items. It made me cry. This lady hugged my daughter so tight and kept Thanking her. I sat in the car saying to myself God, this is what you were telling me? Seeing my daughter help someone who had NO FOOD FOR HER SON… just did something to me. I thought my daughter would be putting criminals in jail, she’s putting food on the table for those we are in need. It made me cry, seeing this in person. She was just 12 years old, here she is 30 and I’m just in awe of God.

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This week she started school again!!!! She wants to go higher in her field. She wants to be a Therapist, its funny because they say Criminal Justice cross paths with it, so now to her it make sense why she switched off from wanting to be a Lawyer. Her boss told her, go to school….. bring me the bill! Wow amazing!  

When I tell you my daughter takes care of me…… it brings tears to my eyes. The gifts, the thoughts, the appreciation is over whelming sometimes. Because all I wanted was for her do what SHE wanted to do, and for me to see WHAT IS ALL THIS GOD WAS TALKING ABOUT. I SEE IT FOR MYSELF… Never in a million years when I did my Feeding The Homeless Projects  that she was watching in the background. Never knew that what she was helping me with… SHE RUNS AND DIRECTS. Below is her being honored here in Detroit by city officials, and other members and staff personal all over the city. It blew my mind to hear all of these kind words, and to REMEMBER WHAT GOD REVEALED TO ME THAT NIGHT!  And there is so much to come, and if The Lord say the same.. He’ll let me be here to SEE IT! AMEN!

ALSO, A Happy Happy Birthday to HER today (( 31)) September 3.. and I turned 50 TODAY AS WELL!

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