I’m NEVER looking back!/BLOG Entry

It was March when I found out about COVID-19. I knew it was real. Many people thought it was a HOAX, or something to take our minds off one thing or another, but for me, I knew it was real. Never in a million years did I expect for some many people to die. I know whole families who caught this virus, and survived. I had a few school friends to die, and it was devastating. Everyday I wake up and I think about it. Constantly checking to see if I can smell and taste. Wondering, if I sanitized my hands after every interaction with people. When I cough, I wonder … do I have it? I think we’ve all experienced this at one time or another. Its really scary. Its one thing to become sick from it, but its another to die. I found myself praying everyday seem like all day for people and myself. I’ll never stop praying.

When COVID hit in March, I immediately took a leave. I was about tired of Walmart anyway. I left in 2012 after doing 9 years. In 2014, I went back after being laid off from working at a High School. Things had changed a lot in those 2 years. They were now open 24 hours, I was working the midnight shift 10-7 and it was only self check out. I hated being the new gurl at a different store. Nobody liked to work self check out because it was a job that you couldn’t leave and walk around, like you could at the registers. You could cut your light off, and basically do what you want until someone notice you missing. I always stayed at my station, and I believe that was the reason why they trained me there.

Once I realized that the other cashiers didn’t want to work at self check out, I began to see why. You have to run 8 registers at one time ALONE! It was 20 items or less *** people never listened***, they stole, got mad because they had to ring up themselves, I did do age approvals and sometimes when I was with another customer it would take sometime to get back to them. They needed price checks on items that didn’t have a tag, and so many other issues. I couldn’t get anyone to help me because they hated self check out. After being put there night, after night, after night, I came to realize, it was my final destination. I knew I wasn’t going to be working in any other department in the store. I was the new girl.

I SIGNED up to work 3 nights a week, and every time I came in, they told me to go to self checkout. My nights were Monday, Friday and Saturday. THE BUSIEST EVER! After so many weeks, I got tired of calling management to help me, or show me how to do something. Sometimes they never came, and when they did, they hurried up and got out of my area. They hated it too. When 5 o’clock am rolled around and the store was quiet, it was my chance to learn how to work everything self checkout. I would sign into the system and learn how to work each function. I taught myself how to perform every works. I learned how to master it. I learned how to trouble shoot the machines, and I learned how to reboot . After several months I didn’t have to call anyone to help me, managers knew that I was enjoying my job with people. (( I love people)) but they also saw that I was confident in my job and knew what I was doing. You could walk up to me and ask my anything about self check out and I could tell you.

My coworkers would come up to me and ask….. why do you like working this area? I told them once I learned everything in the system, it became easy for me. They hated it because the area was small and it had to be a AREA of order or it would drive you crazy. That worked for me, and so it was enjoyable.

One day 2 of the ASM came up to me and said, every night you work Cree, we want you over here. I was shocked. I said Okay. They said you know how to run this area and get the lines down, its always order over here, for now on, we want you to run this area the days you work. Every year managers switch off shifts. So when the next year came and we had 2 more managers, they came to me and told me the same thing, Cree, we want you to always work self check out because you know this area better than anyone. I was really excited to hear this from all of the mangers because I always felt that since I started I was made to be in that area because I was the new gurl and no one wanted to work it.

2019. As we got new cashiers, they heard about how the managers (( all of them)) spoke highly of me working self check out. So, the 4 days I wasn’t there, they would work it as well. After a few months had passed, again, no one wanted to work there because its fast pace, people got on your nerves, and it was very up close and personal. But I kept hearing that other cashiers were asking members of management ” Why does Cree get to work self check out all the time?” I was shocked because I found out it was the few people that were cool to me, and that WAS THERE BEFORE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!. All I kept thinking was, you were here before me, you didn’t want to come down here to work it, now your going to the manager asking why am I, in self check out every day. At first it didn’t bother me. But after a while it did. People told me that I always made my job look easy, when in fact it was irritating at times. But I didn’t know they were going to the manger about it.

Pure jealousy. I was glad I worked that area alone with no other co-workers. I didn’t know who to trust, so I said very little and LOVED IT. I had 4 days off where they had a chance to work the fast pace self check out and still they wanted to know why I WAS THERE. I remember one of the managers (( not the ones mentioned above)) , came to me and said.. Well Cree, several cashiers had been coming to me asking, why does Cree get to work self check out all the time., and I told them that we would began to rotate. She knew I was feeling some kinda way, but she said she wanted to be fair. It became the talk of the midnight shift, how I always worked self check out.

As a customer, you all know self checkout can be something different. When I got there nobody wanted to work it, because it confined them to that area. There were times when I first started when I wanted to grab my keys and coat and quit because I was the only running it, and nobody trained me. They didn’t listen to me when I asked.. “Why am I the only one running this area all the time?” They said I made it look easy, and that I got the lines down faster than anyone else. I put lots of time in training myself for that area, and now THIS manager who I couldn’t stand when I was working the first store for 9 years, was telling me we had to rotate. Well, that never happened not once. It wasn’t because I said anything to change her mind, but because she knew it was all talk, and that others were jealous and really didn’t want to run it. She was the main manager giving me good evaluations. And then she was LET GO, months later. **blank stare**

Fast forward to 2020. I was about tired of Walmart. That running to the manager asking her why is Cree always at self check out bothered me. I dont like jealousy at all. The main person running to the manager, was there before me. I no longer wanted to work there. I knew then, that God was telling me, my time was almost up for GOOD, and there would be no going back. I kept asking God what am I good at? What is my talent? What can I do to make money and ENJOY doing it? Whats my craft? I want to work for myself. God please reveal to me MY money maker, but most importantly remove me from here!

After almost 15 years total… I’m done.

March 2020. I NEVER looked back.

My next Chapter soon.

Eutemia  I  Regular

My Dream-Repost/BLOG

X Ray in use illuminated Led exit sign - Battery - Universal Mount ...

Tuesday Morning June 23, 2015 I had a dream.

I had a dream that I was in this building with lots of rooms and people. In every room it had only a HUGE MIRROR.

I WAS IN CHARGE, like in my other SPIRITUAL dreams.

We were surrounded by MIRRORS. Instead of looking at the person, I looked in the mirror at the person I was telling ….. “wake up” as I pointed to the EXIT door. I knew the world was coming to an end, but for some reason they didn’t, and if they didn’t listen to me, their faces would BURST INTO A BIG BALL OF FIRE, which meant they DIED.

I wanted people to LIVE (( which meant)) getting out of the building. But they were in another ((mind set)) and felt why was it necessary to leave…. in the first place?  Instead of them focusing on leaving, they chose to put all their ENERGY in wondering…. why  I wanted them to exit so badly.

Some people were looking at me like I was crazy and didn’t listen. For some reason they wasn’t comprehending that Jesus was on his way, and it was their last chance to be saved.

As time went on, I was so deep into telling people where the EXIT signs were, that as this one person I was talking to FACE BURST INTO A BALL OF FLAMES… I was too close and mines caught on fire too. I was dying. In my DREAM… it was like I came to myself ((knew I was dreaming)) and told God that I wanted to LIVE. I told him that I wanted to ((wake up from my death)) and go back into the building to tell the other people where the EXIT signs were.

Well, God listened to me, and he permitted me to go back into this  BUILDING with lots of mirrors, rooms and people to tell them once again where the EXIT signs were.

When I looked into the mirror I saw that MY FACE was covered with a WHITE TOWEL. I could still hear my voice, it was my body, but my face was covered. My face was burned up so bad that God put a WHITE TOWEL over it. I remember not caring at all, because all I wanted to do was tell people about the EXITS so that they could be saved. After telling so many people and going room to room, I heard GOD SAY TO ME LOUD AND CLEAR……now its time FOR YOU….. TO HEAD FOR THE EXIT.  Soon as I exited the building, it CAUGHT ON FIRE.

All who didn’t listen to me…. perished.

Kalyubi

I AM LaCrease (( I don’t have to do anything else))

FullSizeRender (4)

Luke 12:53/BLOG

Strong, loving relationship between parents and children is ...

Growing up my parents always took me and my 3 siblings to Church. While my friends were outside playing, for some reason I enjoyed staying in the house. I loved to read books and magazines. But It was something about Jesus that made me want to know him better. Know him for myself. So, I started reading the Bible.

It was exciting getting to know the personality and Character of God. One day I came across the Scripture that read

Luke 12:53

The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

I was HORRIFIED!

I had never heard anyone of my friends talk back to their parents or even get mad at them in this way of the bible. We sure didn’t do it in my house. So, when I read it, it took me back because if those days were coming……. it wasn’t looking good for us. In my 14 year old mind, I couldn’t see how those days would come to pass. I remember God speaking to me saying, keep on living, you’ll see. Even though I believed it with all my heart, I kept saying, I love my mother and my father, who in their right minds would go against them.

I’m 52 years old, and Father God in the NAME OF JESUS.  I have seen and heard it more times in my life than I care to mention. It saddens me. Don’t they know that their days on earth will be cut short? God gave us all parents or guardians for a reason, they are not to be disrespected. We are to love and cherish them. Even if we don’t agree with them all the time.  I remember getting smart a time or two growing up, but the back hand smack was on my lips before I can get the last word out. ** Laughing**. There have been times when I didn’t agree with my parents even as a grown woman, but that does not warrant disrespect.

My daughter saw how I talked to and treated my parents. My daughter is 33 years and and she has never talked back to me. I RESPECT her, and she RESPECTS ME. Thank you Lord for the teachings in the Bible.

wonderblend

Coronavirus Depression No More/BLOG

I’ll be so happy when this virus pass. I’ve had many different emotions about my life. This thing have me thinking if I want to stay at my current job. I’m off right now because of  everything that’s going on, and its causing me to wonder if I even want to go back. This time off, is really good for me and I hope others are having life changing thoughts as well. Even if its not about a job, it could be spending more time with family, moving to another city, putting money up for times such as these, starting a business. I’m starting to feel good about my future and where I need and want to be, mentally, physically and especially Spiritually.

These last few days have left me crying and feeling depressed. At some point in the night, I had to stop and think… wait a minute…. God is in control. He’s the boss and plant manager of my life. This too shall pass. The bible didn’t say, this too shall pass, except the Coronavirus. I had to really think about that. Things are going just as God approved of them to go and there is nothing we can do, but to wait it out, pray several times a day for Peace, People and yes our President.

Once I/you come to the conclusion that God is in control, you’ll start to see things in a different light, his light, and for this, I can see again.

Komika Slick

 

 

The Days of Noah #Coronavirus/BLOG

Image result for noah ark

I never knew in a million years that I would see days like this. A virus so out cold and deadly that it has the whole world on lock down. There is so much to do during this time with all of the technology these days. I was on Messenger today with my brother, mom, and sister, where we can see each other. You can’t beat that! My mother has a iPad, so I can see her on my iPhone and iPads for our one on ones.

These days remind me of the days of Noah. As he was building an ark, people laughed at him, didn’t take it serious that who all wasn’t aboard when it took off, was going to DIE. They were too busy doing their own thing. They didn’t care. They were too busy loving themselves. I wish I had a giant bullhorn to say to the people of these days….. “Were all in this together, daddy said stay in the house until we are safe, and if we don’t listen to the rules, we could die.”

Still there will be those who won’t listen and continue to do what they want. Its some type of freedom for those people when the world is idle. They feel its there time to shine, or be heard. They want attention and to feel important doing the opposite of what their suppose to do. I find some people hate being alone for fear of hearing themselves saying how they need to change, and be a better person. Some of these people refuse to stay home. They disregard rules.

This is the perfect time in life to regroup ourselves, to learn more about who we are. To read our bibles and to build a close/closer relationship with God. Time to be creative, time to change jobs, a time to spend it with our kids and spouses. A time to reflect. There is so much to do.

Take advantage of this time, because soon enough things will go back to business as usual.

Popcorn Mountain Regular

 

 

Sail On My Friend/BLOG

Image may contain: one or more people, sunglasses, beard and closeup

Hey Family!

I know its been a while since I’ve written anything here. But I lost my MALE BEST FRIEND to a trucking accident. He was a local truck driver. He’s been since I met him over 22 years ago. He loved to drive state to state for 2-3 weeks at a time, but since he started having grand children he wanted to be home more to spend time with them, so he changed his shift to locally.

January 10, 2019, My sister called me. I was taking a nap. I saw that it was her and answered the phone. She asked me if I had seen anything on FB about my BFF Rodney dying in a trucking accident. I sat straight up in bed as my heart started beating fast, I told her No. She told me to get on line, and go to our brother ex wife page. It read RIP Rodney Adams, and I was SHOCKED!!! I was mad at her for posting it, I wanted her to take it down. I was in denial and didn’t want to believe it. I asked her where did she hear that from? She told me from someone she knew. So, I went to his mom’s page, his daughter, sons, BFF, his siblings and NOTHING. No one had said a word. I couldn’t cry because I didn’t believe it. Not MY BEST FRIEND!

As the night went on I was glued to all of their FB pages and finally his sister posted. I was devastated. I knew it was true then. Still I couldn’t cry because I had just spoken with him less than 2 weeks before. We worked different shifts and when we talked over the phone.. WE TALKED!!!!!. He always made me laugh with his stories. I use to call him just so that he could make me laugh.

I can’t believe that I wont see my friend anymore. His BFF Mike for over 45 years was calling him to say that his MOTHER had passed away, just to find out the HE (((Rodney)))  had too on the SAME DAY.

There was a HUMAN WASTE spill on I-75 that was backed up for miles and miles and miles. After “cleaning up” the right lane only ((( they were STILL cleaning up the other lanes))) they had to open it up to release the traffic. Well…. all of the waste along that right lane wasn’t completely gotten up. A trailer truck carrying a camper slid in the right lane on the waste  leaving part of the camper hanging out of the right lane. He got over as much as he could from on coming traffic. Then Rodney comes along driving his truck, SLID in the waste as well and slammed right into the back of the man and his trailer. The driver was okay had a few injuries. The family said the first responders prayed with Rodney as he was pinned to his truck. He was in and out, after the prayer they told the family that he complained of his legs hurting. As soon as the jaws of life pulled him out, he died INSTANTLY.

The days after as it sunk in, I have crying spells daily. Even to this day. I think about him calling me all the time as he drove.

His family put him away beautifully.  I miss my silly friend. He loved people, and LOVED HIS FAMILY. They said that so many times at his service, how he loved his Facetime LIVES, his family, especially his grandkids, family barbecues, Prince and his Superfriends. They are made up about 7-8 friends who went to high school together.

One thing I am grateful for…. his relationship with God. He LOVED GOD. They had the best relationship I can say this myself. I can’t wait to see him again.

Here is a song that his sister and her husband sung at his service. It happens to be one of my favorite songs from a CD I purchased years and years ago.

Rest Rodney. I love you.

Cree

LoveMeForever Medium

Looking Back On My Younger Self/BLOG

Image result for younger me

 

Good Sunday Morning Family!

I finally had some good rest last night. I found out Black Panther was on Netflix so
I watched that for the 50th time. Took a nap, woke up, made me 2 Bologna sandwiches for dinner. I was planning to make spaghetti, but I just didn’t feel like it. I’m glad I didn’t with all that sleep I was getting. Not to mention I still haven’t finished the Bobby Brown story. I tried to watch it at least 7 times days before, I just couldn’t get into it. I’m off tonight so I guess I’ll finish it.

Every now and then I love to look back on my younger days and think about things that I would have done differently, or to ask myself why did I do things that way. As I look back on my pregnancy, I wish I had been kinder to my daughters father. I was so mean to him about any and everything. I was angry that he had gotten himself a car, and was working a lot and couldn’t spend more time with me.  Looking back, it wasn’t all that serious for the things I was mad at him for.

I can’t help but wonder why I was so angry? I was so mean to him that my parents use to say, you’re going to run him away. But looking back on it, I was angry at my past situation. I was angry because when I was 17 I was raped by my ex boyfriend. I wasn’t ready for sex at all. Wasn’t even thinking about it and my ex boyfriend knew that.

I met my daughters father just after my 18th birthday. Looking back I see that I carried that hurt and pain  of being raped into my new relationship. I kept it a secret, and never told anyone. I didn’t know that my pain was the reason why I was so mean to my new boyfriend and to the people in my life. I was mean to everybody. Even though I wasn’t ready to have sex, I had it with my new boyfriend because I didn’t want my ex to be the last person in me. (((((Wow, that was hard to write.)))) But it was my thought process back then. About 4 months later or sooner, I got pregnant.

I’m so glad that I got to deal with that rape and got to ask the man who raped me, questions that I always wanted answered. He answered them all. Here is that story if you want to go back and read it.

Part 1 https://lacreasewalker.com/2015/10/07/my-story-of-forgivenesspart-1blog/

Part 2 https://lacreasewalker.com/2015/10/07/my-story-of-forgivenesspart-2blog/

Part 3 https://lacreasewalker.com/2015/10/08/my-story-of-forgiveness-rape-3blog/

https://lacreasewalker.com/2015/10/08/my-story-of-forgiveness-rape-4finalblog/

 

Looking back on your younger self can help you understand why you do the things you do.  Why you react the way you do. Why you think the way you do. Why you feel the way you feel. Looking back has helped me dearly to be able to live a better life.

Today, look back on your life and ask your younger self, how can I be better today than I was “yesterday”.

*Vampire Kiss*

Encouraging Notes/BLOG

Image result for encouraging words

 

 

Here are some notes from a book that I’m reading. I found them interesting enough to share.

  • One should become impersonal and learn what each man has to teach him, and soon he would learn his lessons and be free.
  • No man can attract money if he despises it.
  • The attitude of mind, of course, separates man from his supply. He must be in harmony with a thing in order to attract it.
  • I know a woman who went about bragging of her own troubles, so of course, she always had something to brag about.
  • God is my supply for every demand.
  • Man, himself, limits his supply by his limited vision.
  • Vision and action must go hand and hand.
  • Many people have attracted disease and unhappiness though condemnation of others.
  • What man condemns in others, he attracts to himself.
  • Man pins his Faith to one channel only, and dictates just the way he desires the manifestation to come, which brings things to a standstill. My way not your way is the Command of God!

I Survived Because……/BLOG

Image result for god loves me

In 1997, I was a Cosmetics Coordinator at Arbor Drug store. I remember so clearly when a guy came up to me and started talking. He was good looking, tall, goatee, pretty teeth, great conversation, and had the prettiest eyes you ever want to see on a man. After we introduced ourselves, we exchanged phone numbers. Back then, we didn’t carry cell phones, but we did have pagers, whenever I paged him he would call right back. We would talk on the phone at night for hours and hours and hours. That was the one thing I loved about him. He spent a lot of time with me and gave me the attention I needed.

One day he wanted me to meet his sister, her husband, and kids. I knew he liked me seriously when he wanted me to meet his family. I was nervous when I met them, but once we got to talking, it was clear that his family was a very Spiritual one. They went to Church, and you can tell in their walk, that they were good people. That was the thing that attracted me to him. He loved the Lord. 

One day I received a phone call from the county jail. It was him. I accepted his phone call, and was shocked to learn that he was locked up. He told me that the reason why he was in jail was because of a drug charge years prior. All I wanted to know was how long he was going to be locked up, and when can I go see him.

One night, … it was after 2 am in the morning, I was sleep. My phone rang, and It was his SISTER. She said LaCrease, I’m sorry to wake you up, but God told me to call you. That got my attention, so I sat up in bed and listened to what she had to say. She went on to say… I know you’re a Christian, and I know how you feel about my brother, but I can’t rest until I tell you this. She said my brother is not in jail for drugs years ago, he’s in jail for stealing in the mall. I was shocked and  ANGRY!!! I wonder why would he lie like that. She said no matter what you do.. please DO NOT tell my brother I’m calling you with this. I told her that I PROMISE. I told her that I would never cause drama in her family like that. I Thanked her, and hung up the phone.

I was DONE WITH HIM!! DONE!

About 4 months had passed and he was STILL IN JAIL. By this time, my feelings for him was over.I knew he was getting out soon, and also heard he had a girlfriend. He lied, and anytime a SISTER CALL YOU AND WIRE YOU UP ABOUT THEIR OWN BROTHER… BELIEVE HER!

One day RIGHT AFTER I MOVED out of that apartment where he knew I stayed. I went to the store, and as I was leaving, I glanced over at the Detroit News and saw HIS picture on the FRONT PAGE. I was SHOCKED, AND NERVOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I grabbed the paper and went to pay for it. When I got to my mom’s house I couldn’t put it down. Never in a million years did I expect this man to do what he did. I was nervous and out done at the same time. I started thinking about how I knew he was still stopping by my old apartment and I was glad I was gone. He never knew where my parents stayed and I was BLESSED ABOUT IT!

I read the paper IN PURE HORROR!!! I found out this man…… strangled his girlfriend, KILLED HER,  wrapped her up in a hotel blanket, put her in the trunk of her OWN car, and SET IT ON FIRE! He did all of this AFTER he got out of jail. She was a 3rd grade teacher here in Detroit.

He was on the run! Took them a long time to catch him, but they finally did. In court his Sister (( same one who called me)) said… “he made a lovely life swindling the ladies, he did what he was good at………. conning women.” Wow. looking back 19 almost 20 years later. He never asked me for a dime. Never showed me any signs of this behavior at all.

This man got over $7.000 from this woman, he also took her jewelry worth over $4000.00 to the pawn shop and got money. He was with his other girlfriend when they did it. IT CAME OUT IN COURT, when he was with me… he was married to 3 WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!! I never knew that at all. When it was all said and done…. He’s in jail FOR LIFE. NEVER TO COME HOME AGAIN.

God ALWAYS protect HIS. He will send people into our lives to help us see what we can’t/wont see. But we have to be willingly to give up what we think we NEED. 

Sisters and Brothers, if you EVER receive a phone call from a FAMILY member about the person you’re seeing. Stop and really think about it. Of course its hard to hear and believe. File it in the back of your mind because if you ever need to “remember” it, you know where to find it.

Listen to those people that was here before you. Don’t be so far “gone” into the relationship that you turn a death ear. God place people in our lives to give us “EXITS” when we need them. I’m glad I listened to his sister because shortly afterwards, his behavior starting fitting the description of what she told me about him.

I SURVIVED because…. when HIS sister CALLED me……. I listened.

Painting With Chocolate Regular

Women Do Better/BLOG

Image result for know your worth

I speak and listen to a lot of women tell their stories of life lessons. I know for me, at one time or another I was naive when it came to other people. I grew up in a two parent home and we all trusted each other. We never stabbed each other in the back, or even fought for it was not allowed. But when I moved out on my own at 22, I had to face a lot of things I never saw growing up.  Things I wasn’t taught. Things I didn’t see among my friends. Which made me naive to a lot of things that were going on with others in the world. It cost me a lot. Had many cries and loss through the years,  but I’m convinced it has made me stronger for what’s ahead.

With so much social media these days, I don’t understand why WOMEN allow themselves to be mistreated, abused and be flat out gullible. Its so easy to find your own situation in a video, in a FB conversation, even on the job talking to others. Why is it that women wont do better? Why is it so hard to get out of a relationship that is toxic? Why women don’t love themselves enough to want more? Do women put themselves in a situation that causes her to stay because she won’t make it without his financial support? Do women like or enjoy drama? I say drama because in order to deal with physical or mental abuse there has to be something in them that has the tolerance for it.

My prayer is that if you are reading this and this is your situation that you get out and get help. Its all about PEACE. Get somewhere and learn yourself. Find out what you like to do and do it. Love yourself. Stop being WEAK! Find your strength. Let your Yes mean YES, and your No mean NO. Tell yourself you will no long deal with anything that is not of God. Speak with boldness. Walk with your head held high. Give eye contact. Speak clearly and know what you’re talking about. Its Okay to laugh and smile, but take serious conversations SERIOUS.

I can go on and on, but I promise to write more on these types of subjects.

Be Blessed

Just Sayin Regular