In 2014, I went on several interviews searching for the right one for me. I was called to a 10:00 am appointment and when I walked into the lobby I was feeling GREAT and CONFIDENT.
I checked in, then sat on the couch and waited for the person to “come out” to get me. As I soaked up the lovely atmosphere, and beautiful interior decorations, I noticed a glance at me. I didn’t pay it any attention because I was busy looking around the place, but when he looked over at me for the 2nd and 3rd time…. I paid attention. I said to myself…… “is this man looking at me?” As I begin to focus on him.. I noticed that he was fine as hell, TALL… handsome, sexy, thick, pretty white teeth, suited up, pretty eyes, sexy lips, goatee, and very humble. I sat there trying to ignore him, because I know how my body respond to what I’m thinking and seeing. A INTERVIEW was the WRONG place for this. I kept trying to ignore his glances, until I realized what he was doing.
I realized …..he was interviewing. I thought to myself…. “I hope he’s not the one doing the interviewing for me.” I’m finding myself staring at him. He’s so dayum fine …he catches my eye. I found it hard to turn away. I was nervous. I can’t be interviewed by him because I know me… I’ll be nervous. Oh my GOD.. I thought to myself.. this is not happening to me. Not today. Not this time in my life. Not for a interview! So… I sat there. I tried to convince myself that he wasn’t the one to interview me, that maybe there were several interviewers. I had to have went over this in my head about 20 times.
He kept looking at me, so I decided that I was leaving. Nope, I wasn’t about to be interviewed by this man. He was NOT going to intimidate me. He was NOT going to have me saying stupid stuff and giving dumb answers. Nope not today. Now had this been one of my ruff looking days, I may have taken the stares differently. Because in my mind, I’m thinking Ok Cree….he thinks you’re cute today, just wait till he sees you looking good. But on this day………………… I was looking good!!! My face was MAC FLAWLESS ** in my Beyonce voice**… skin beautiful, eyes locking, lips poppin, hair on point * no wigs or fake hair*, smile… SMILING, eye lashes batting, smelling good, had on my all black outfit with my boots…. couldn’t tell me nothing as I left out of my apartment.
I sat there…. I made up my mind that I was leaving. Wasn’t going to put myself through this.. I’ve been down this STREET a time or two of being CHEMISTRY intimidated and not able to get out of it. I stood up, grabbed my purse… just then I remembered that I parked valet and didn’t have my keys. Dayum.. I said to myself and sat back down. I decided that I was going to stay. That I was going to get through this interview and have full control. I fought myself all while he was still interviewing. There aren’t many times a woman look into a mans eyes and feel a certain way on first site. Its a feeling that paralyzes you. But I must admit its one of the sexiest minutes to be apart of. But dang…. why couldn’t this happen while at the grocery store, mall or restaurant somewhere…… NOT AN INTERVIEW.
He stands up and shakes the hand of the person he just interviewed and the person leaves. My heart is pounding as he’s walking towards me to get to the desk to ask “whose next”. We make eye contact and we speak at the same time. I knew he was coming for me. I felt it. I was in trouble. He goes to the desk and the gurl points at me. “DAMMIT” I said in my mind… he IS the one going to interview me. I embraced myself as he walked towards me looking me DEAD in my eyes, trying to “download” my every thought in my head…..through my eyes. We smiled and its a wrap for me…. I already know. He walks toward me and says ” LaCrease Walker?”…. Yes, I said as I stood up to shake his hand. He walks in front of me and says lets go over to this table * the one he was at while doing the other interview*. I was SO nervous… I started to say… “YOU KNOW WHAT?” I’m good on this job, it was nice for you to call me. I’m outta here. But I didn’t.
He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch. There was also a table there that had all of my information on. I couldn’t turn my mind off of how FINE he was up close. As he looked at my resume, I was trying to calm down. I knew that if I got up to leave, that yes, I would miss out on a good job opportunity, but at that time, it was better than sitting there without my brain.. He looked good from afar, but up close OH MY GAWD!!!! I kept telling myself…GURL….. get it together. It was silence as he looked down. He knew what he was doing. He was loading up on me, when he came up from my resume and asked that first question… I knew he would take FULL CONTROL. After he asked the question… he sat back and had his way with me. Looking me so deep into my eyes, downloading everything about me. Reading me, taking mental notes. Just dogging MEEE out. All I could do was try to stay focus. The chemistry was so deep..so ALIVE. So in my face. Then he asked more questions. Still staring me in my eyes as I spoke…so sexy and so sensual. I felt my body reacting to his stares. I tried to redirect my thoughts, but he kept staring and thinking. I know my eyes started telling him what my thoughts were… I couldn’t even help it.
Whenever he spoke about the company… that was my time to regroup my thoughts and get myself together. I kept having to have these pep talks with myself, because I didn’t know how much of these intense stares I could take. I just wanted to walk out in the middle of one of HIS QUESTIONS. I didn’t have anything to lose. He didn’t know me and I didn’t know him. Just as I got myself together, there goes another question. A time for me to talk while he download my thoughts. THEN…… in the MIDDLE of me answering a question… he stops me and says… “Take off your coat”.
In my mind…..I’m like this is NOT happening to me!!! This is not. I told him that I was fine. He insist. He wasn’t going to ask another question until I did. The way he said it.. it wasn’t in a sexual way… or out of order…. NOT AT ALL… LET ME BE CLEAR…to him….. it only made sense to “get comfortable”… since I appeared to be ” NERVOUS”. I didn’t want to do it…. if I ever had a chance to get out of it…. IT WAS GONE NOW. I stood up and the space between his chair and the couch I was sitting on… placed me right in front of him.. LIKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I began taking off my coat… I tried to turn my head as I did it.. but our eyes locked and I PROMISE ON every TRUTH IN ME…. this man took off my coat for me!!!! His eyes told my coat to come off… AND IT OBEYED I had never in my life FELT ANYTHING SO INTENSE. When I took it off and sat it on the couch.. I felt NAKED! I am a very shapely woman, and for the first time I didn’t want it seen. Its funny now looking back on it… but it wasn’t then. …. I don’t even remember the interview after that. LOL Whenever he spoke and shared things with me about the company, I reloaded trying to get “the POWER” back that he was “stealing” from me. Didn’t work.
When it was my turn to answer the questions… my mind started failing me again.. worse every time. I starting thinking about kissing him, laying on the couch…all of this sexual stuff started coming to my mind. I’m saying to myself… “Guuuuuuuuuurl if you don’t knock it off and get it together!!! I couldn’t even help it… I was under a spell. The way he was looking at me.. he knew what he was doing. I was weak and he knew it. He controlled the whole atmosphere and was loving it. FINALLY …. the interview was over. YES!!!! He said.. I’m going to set you up on for a second interview. I was happy about that. He told me what time to come back in 2 days. I got to my car sat in it….. and almost needed a cigarette. I don’t smoke cigarettes, weed, anything… don’t even drink.. but I needed a hit of something that day. I was in a daze all the way home. I kept hitting my wrist asking myself…. what the HELL JUST HAPPENED? The experience was GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!! But ….. not at a INTERVIEW!
I thought about that man all day and all night. I couldn’t even sleep the meet was that INTENSE. I had a plan for him.I was going to “get that ass back”. When I go back… I was going to be in CONTROL. I was not going to let him take over my mind, sexually and mentally again. I didn’t sleep for 2 days thinking about it. I remembered what he said…. he kept saying how he loved my bubbly personality. This time… I was going to be about BUSINESS . I LOVE that about myself. I can give you BUBBLY, SMILES, LAUGHS, FUNNY, JOKES, COMMUNICATION, SEXY, everything… but when I put on my BUSINESS FACE…….YOU WILL NOT be able to figure me out… because I’m in control of MEEEEEEEEE. I LOOOOOOOVE that in myself.
The day and hour came for me to go back for a second interview… I walked up in that Hotel like I WAS PART OWNER.. lol * Sure did*… Had on my BUSINESS face like………..who WANTS TO SEE ME AND WHERE THEY AT? Guess who comes out to greet me.. looking BETTER THAN THE TWO DAYS BEFORE… GOOD GAWD…. um um ummmmm. One look into my eyes as we shook hands to greet……and he said….. “You don’t seem as bubbly as you did before”… I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF IN MY MIND. The nerve!!! HAHAHA YES ITS WORKING…. He said you’re okay? I said YES… I’m good!!!!
I’m saying in my mind as we lock eyes… “what you want me to sit around here naked in the second interview too?” NOT GON HAPPEN BOO. I was so happy I had my POWER back. He was looking good though… but I was ready for him and his PARALYZING STARES.
He directs me to the same area we were in before. But this time I sat in the other chair that sits a table and couch. He leaves to get the person who wants to meet and interview me . They both come back, but only the guy who is doing the interviewing sits down, he left. We got to talking about the job, then about his friends, dogs, homeless people, being sick.. kids, everything. We WERE KICKING IT.. I was so comfortable… I felt so good. He was so cool. I knew I had this job. I was looking forward to working with him. After a while, it wasn’t even like I was in a interview. It was like we were friends that had a lot in common.
Then…………here HE comes…. didn’t he PARK his FINE ass on the couch.… sat and stared at me THE WHOLE TIME while I was being interviewed. I’m saying to myself.. GOD MAKE HIM LEAVE!!!!! Make him go do something else! I’m thinking why is he sitting in on this persons interview? OMG..I cant take it. He got me. He got me good. He watched my every move, heard every word I said.. analyzed me, captivated me, sexually intimidated me, took off my clothes without ONE touch, downloaded all my thoughts, made me apart of his atmosphere, and took all MY POWER away. I tried to ignore his presence… I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. I tried to believe this wasn’t happening to me. I tried to stop looking at him. He was loving it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I had no control. The guy who was doing the interview was so into his story and life.. he had no idea “I left the building.” He had no idea what was happening. He had no idea, that whatever he was talking about I couldn’t hear him. This man sat there and stared at me like I was dinner and left overs.
After that… didn’t even matter. I was butt naked again.. in his presence. I just let myself go. What the hell I thought to myself… he won! My thoughts took over….. my body REACTED. At one point… I tried hard to get back FOCUSED…. but it was like little kids in my head with markers, crayons, pencils and ink pens… coloring and scribble scrabbling all over my thoughts.
Then came time for paper work. We had to get in the elevator ALONE together.. and oh boy…. NOT THE ELEVATOR…. so personal… so sensual. The chemistry…… can’t even explain. I will say… that I LOVED the experience.. I LOVED how I felt… I LOVED the attraction and chemistry between us… but it was the wrong place.
He hired me, came time for Orientation, he announced to me and the others that he was leaving for another job….I didn’t know how I felt about that. But one thing I do know, all the other women who were hired started talking about how FINE he was whenever he left the room. 🙂
Looking back, I would NEVER trade this experience in for anything in the world, its not often a WOMAN feel this way on first glance.
*photos are not of anyone in MY story… just a visual*
Learning Life Lessons 