Lately, I’ve been having deep conversations with several young women, and it bothers me so deeply what many are allowing these men to do to them. As I listen, I can’t help but think about the time when I was their ages and allow men to say and do things to me as well. The hard part is, they have to go through the experience themselves. I can talk to them till I’m blue in the face, sometimes they listen to me, and sometimes they don’t. It is them who has to learn the lesson.
I always knew that there was an order in which abuse start. First come the cursing out, and calling the woman out of her name. Secondly, are the personal attacks, meaning personal things that was said is now used in a way to hurt the person mentality. Third, is the physical laying of the hands on the woman to tear down her appearance and self esteem. I really hope women pay attention to this. We have to stop being so gullible. Stop feeling that we have met the best man for us. If someone is calling you names, and punching on you, get out of that relationship because the one for you is still out there. We have to stop getting so attached so soon. That’s the very reason why its so hard for us to break apart when things go wrong. Its okay to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that you should stay with him. It is not okay to mentally and physically abuse a woman. The same goes for women abusing men. Talk to a family member or close friend if you’re going through this, talk to the person who is going to be truthful, honest and upfront. And listen!!! Listen to these people who have already experienced it. It just may save your life.
My Sisters and I was having a conversation the other day about how I use to follow the rules all the time when we were growing up. I always thought twice about what I was doing when it was against the rules. But for some reason it was always in the back of my mind to stop.
As I got older, I realized that I was this same person as a kid . I would tell people not to do something that would make them have to pay the consequences LATER, they always looked at me like…”guuuuuurl it aint that serious.” I remember saying to myself… “why bring extra trouble to yourself?” When I got the reaction that I did, I started asking myself “why do you care if they have to pay the consequences of their actions?” I care because I am a Christian, and I hate to see people suffering when they could have prevented it.I learn through consequences, why not tell others? I’m a person who cares. Oh yes, I could easily watch people do wrong, not open my mouth and watch them pay. That’s easy to do. I’m not that person. But I will say this. I will run it by you once, twice, maybe three times, but I wont be calling you, bugging you, emailing you, texting you or anything like that. As a matter of fact I won’t bring it up again. God gives me visions of the consequences we have to pay when we don’t follow the rules and decide to use the “Free will” button.
There was a time in my life when I was clicking that “free will” button all day EVERYDAY. I remember one consequence I paid heavily just before turning 20. My BFF and I worked together, and when we would get tips we would put them in our tip jar, but when we were low on money instead of ringing up pastries and coffee, we would STEAL and put that money in our tip jar too. We started off doing it a few times a week, then we started getting addicted and depended on that change so we did it all day everyday. Eventually we quit that job we were working, and started other jobs. We were very, very, very, close did everything together, lived across the street from each other, went out together, took trips together, she knew my family and I knew hers. We LOVED each other like Sisters. We were so goofy , laughed all day everyday.
Well one day me and my BFF were running errands. She left her purse in the car to run in someplace (( don’t remember where)), but when she went to the next store she took her purse. As she walked to the car I could see that she was mad about something. When she got in the car, she asked me did I go in her purse and take $20.00? I said NO.. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!! She said well Creasy, it was in here when I left home. I said I didn’t go in your purse, I wouldn’t do that. We argued all the way home. We didn’t talk for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS over that. She felt like how could you do that to me? I was your BFF. There was nothing I could say to convince her that I would never ever do anything like that to her.I was devastated. I prayed and asked God why is this happening?
He said…. when you and Lisa were working together, you both stole money. Even though you have never stolen from anyone, not out of their homes, not out of their purses, you have a history of being a THIEF. There was nothing you could say to convince her that it wasn’t you that took her money. That’s when it started to click in my head. She felt like… if I did it to our job, then I would do it to her. But I didn’t,and I paid for it. After no communication for years and years, when we finally grew up and started talking. She told me that she found out that it was her brother (( he started doing it regularly)) who went in her purse and stole her money, not me… she apologized. I was more happy that she didn’t think it was me, than anything.
Her only child and my God daughter Erika, had gotten big and didn’t know me 😦 We were in different places at this time, and no matter how much we talked, we never got that connection we had in the beginning. 😦 I learned a serious lesson in all of that. What we did together spilled out in our own friendship. There was nothing I could have said to convince her that I didn’t steal her money. The consequences of stealing from that company, was how I lost my BFF and the closeness/bond/friendship of my NOW AKA BEAUTIFUL GOD DAUGHTER!! I paid for that dearly. I will never forget this lesson. We are connected on FB and its so good seeing her and Erika. They’re both Christians who LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES THE LORD… and I’m so glad that we can laugh and talk about our past while moving on to our future. We’ll both be 48 this year and I Thank you Lord Jesus for that LESSON TO SHARE WITH OTHERS. AMEN!
I AM La’Crease (( and SHE doesn’t have to do anything else))
Wow what a breakthrough for Nene Leakes, MEEEE and hopefully the others on the show.
Father God in the name of JESUS… I hope thousands and thousands saw tonight’s RHOA and got in on the healing that took place at the end of the show. When Part 1 of RHOA Reunion Show aired… I kept looking at Nene real hard, it was something in her eyes that told me she was at a breaking point, sorta at a place where she didn’t want to fight anymore. A place where she just wanted to agree and not argue or debate. She’s enjoying much success in her life, and sometimes that could be hard when your past keeps coming back to remind you of where you came from.
I cried like a baby watching her breakthrough. For the first time since I met her on RHOA, I finally UNDERSTAND her. I get it. I get her. Lets all be real here NENE LEAKES IS RHOA! Flat out. She’s the driver of the show, and people want to be her friend. She’s funny, she keeps it real, she’s loyal (( she can throw shade)), and she seems to be a person who will help you out if you need her. I found out tonight that LOYALITY is EVERYTHING to her. Support means A LOT, and she looks for people close to her to be just that. She EXPECTS it.. and I’m so glad CYNTHIA BAILEY got up and went back stage with her. I cried. I cried. I cried. Even though they had fallen out, Cynthia looked at it like this….. “that’s MY FRIEND past or present… I know we’re not talking right now… and that’s cool.” “But she’s in a lot of pain and I cannot/will not sit on this couch and watch her go through this without me being there for her.” That was so big of her, and you can clearly see it in Nene’s face how she felt about Cynthia being there for her. She even Tweeted it. Ah… I was so proud of Nene and Cynthia.
Nene has ABANDONMENT issues steming from NOT ONE.. but both parents. I found out in my study that people who have these issues from parents…. often come off as being “tough” “aggressive” “argumentative ” and “defensive”. ((( MY dad))) I will share that story later))) They’re looked at as being SOOOOO tough, that people tend to overlook the fact that they too have issues. That they need loyal friends in their lives to listen to them as well. But the thing is… its not easy for these people to open up. Because they’re so busy being an ear for others. It may take a while for them to draw near to someone, but when they do…. they expect for them to be LOYAL to the end. When you see their number on the caller ID, and they need you, you better answer. And I see this in Nene. Now I see why she always say “you haven’t been a friend to me.” Being a friend to her is VERY SERIOUS.
Her husband found out this same thing. I LOVE him for her, because this time around he got it. She loves him, he knows her heart, and she trusts him. All she wants is to be loved and to be able to trust someone with her heart, her past, and her future. UM UM UM. Nene is wore out from arguing with these group of women. She’s tired. And she have good reason.
What I want to tell Nene is that….. the reason why your mom sent you and your sibling(s) to live with your aunt.. is because
YOU WERE THE STRONGER ONE.
SHE KNEW IT.
SHE DIDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU.
She knew that you would make it. She knew that in order for your other siblings to survive… she had to send her strongest child. LOOK AT YOU NOW… and I say that in HARD WORK.. not in licking your tongue out to her or anyone else in your family as in.. Nah- nah- nah- nah- nah. SHE KNEW YOU WERE STRONG, SHE KNEW YOU WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL.. Its okay Nene.. its okay. Cry everyday if you need too. Cry every night before bed. Allow yourself to ask questions… be submissive, be humble. GO BACK AND DEMAND answers from anyone you need to ask questions. GET YOUR ANSWERS, TAKE THEM HOME, PRAY OVER THEM, COME TO YOUR CONCLUSION…. THEN KEEP IT MOVING. In humbleness….. and UNDERSTANDING.
I also found out that having these types of issues from a mother… causes miscommunication/communication problems……WITH other WOMEN. Tonight, I looked at every woman on that stage, and Nene has slayed everyone of them with that tongue of hers * lol*. NENE can handle them all!!! LOL LOL I know it, the world knows it, and Nene knows it. But she’s tired of fighting with these gurls. And of course she doesn’t want/need to hear what she has done in the past. She needs forward healing, where she can get the answers she needs from her past, and then be able to MOVE ON!!! I found out that a person will say to themselves.. if my mom has done this to me and I have gotten over it.. “WHAT CAN ANYBODY ELSE DO TO ME?” And so they take on these thoughts, go out into the world, and fight anyone who comes for them. In their minds, they have enough energy to go around. But if you allow that negative energy to come into your space.. you’ll start thinking …….. How does my then match up with my NOW * which is so great and successful* and you wonder if you deserve this? Or, you wonder how did I come to this place, when my past was far from good.
It was a JOY to see NENE so humble, and giving them whatever they needed to hear **you’re right, and I’m wrong**… in the name of PEACE.
You don’t have to fight anymore boo. You are Nene Leakes and you don’t have to do anything else!!!
I AM La’Crease ((( and I don’t have to do anything else)))
Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God. – Dr. Maya Angelou
Omg its freezing here in Detroit. Its so cold. Goodness, I can’t stand the winter time. I love how pretty the snow is especially at night. But the drive, the accidents, scraping the ice and snow off the cars in the morning, and the stuck in the snow part…. I can’t. It seems to be never ending. Even though we’re use to it, its irritating as I don’t know what!
This evening me and my 2 sisters went out on our Sister Dates. We make it priority that we link up at least once or twice a month. Its so very important for communication and to keep in touch. We all have grown kids and its good to know how things are with them as well. We always go to Applebees our favorite Sister spot we sit at the table argue and debate like we usually do. Laugh and talk. We sit for hours… tonight was ONLY 4 hours. Yes, we have a lot to talk about in that time. I was sharing with my group on FB how important for Sisters and Friends to link up for these outings. I feel its just as important as going to work. It keeps communication open and it brings us even closer. I really hope that Sisters are connecting for these types of dinner dates. I love my Sisters dearly, we grew up together, and its important for us to share in each other lives.
Yesterday LOL LOL As I was walking into work…I saw this woman… she was leaving. I stopped her and said ” you look familiar” . She looked at me with this smile… and ME WITH MY… HONEST, SERIOUS, TRUTHFUL AND NAIVE self.. asked her what was her name. LOL And if you know me.. you know I be looking serious. * My Virgo self* LOL never dawned on me.. that THIS IS MY NEW JOB NOW AND I WILL SEE CELEBS EVERYDAY. When she told me her name… it hit me.. that CREE gurl you’re at work. You can’t be asking these people those types of questions. Thing is.. I’m not star struck at all.. PERIOD. Not one ounce of me. God put us all down “here”… and I take that part to heart with celebs or anyone else on earth. I’m just so honest, it was me being me and seeing a familiar person thinking I knew her. So for now on, I have to remember that.. and I WILL… TRUST AND BELIEVE. As the day went on… there were MORE. LOL
On my way to bed… make sure you’re spending time with your siblings. Make it important in your life to find the time, do what you can.
So….. tonight I’m just rambling. Thinking about triggered things before I lay down to sleep.
There’s this gurl who lives in my building, she has to be about 28 ( a “kid” to me.. my daughter’s that age). Very nice pleasant. She always smiles and speak and also have a bubbly personality like I do. Every time I see her, she’s always chatting with someone in a good mood.
This one night maybe about 1 in the morning. I went downstairs to the lobby to talk to security about the dog next door to me and its barking. He told me that the new neighbor will be in shortly from work and that she’s very understanding and friendly. When she came in, we talked. She told me that her dog will be leaving in the morning to live with a friend because she’s gotten complaints from the front office about him. That was cool. We stayed in the lobby and chatted with security for about an hour plus just the 3 of us…..
HOMEGURL * the nice friendly one* WALTZ in staring at me… like I stole her dayum lunch money. At the same time walking towards HIM… but staring at me REAL MEAN. So, I’m saying to myself…. gurlyougotmemessedup….. we’ll tear this lobby up tonight! I never in my life had a fight…. but the way she was looking at me…. I had to turn my head, then look back at her to see if she was looking at me. Now, I usually laugh at women like that. But when she walked in, she changed the WHOLE ATMOSPHERE. She didn’t say Hi… or nothing. She came in and posted her no-shaped body….right next to him. He’s a nice guy, he was looking like… “gurl what’s your problem?” He’s a Virgo too… so I know he checked her real good when we left. Anyway…. she never spoke. Me and my neighbor.. caught the elevator to our apartments and dueced out!!! LOL
Last week… didn’t I see that… NO BOOTY HAVING SPONGE BOB SHAPED gurl in the lobby talking to HIM? Keep in mind.. he’s been working here almost a year.. and before that night…. I NEVER KNEW HIS NAME. I speak to everyone, smile.. and keep it moving. Now, I’m walking up to building looking at the security counter before I walk in. I could see them. So, I said to myself.. she always speak and make conversation with me, and I don’t like to jump to conclusions about a person. So, if she speaks to me.. Okay… maybe that was ME the other night “feeling some kinda way”. I said now, if she throws me shade… it was her all the time, and that means she likes the security guy and feels some kinda way about me. I walks in.. looking cute… and says “Hey…. how yall doing?” She’s looking down at her phone… LOOKING REAL MEAN * LOL*.. He’s looking at me, and we speak at the same time. I looks at her… as I’m walking to the elevators.. She took a looooooong pause and FINALLY said “hi”. It was so low, and dry. LOLShe never looked up at me… totally out of character for her. I don’t even know this child’s name.
MY point is….women STOP IT. STOP! Why must we do this to each other? What is the point? Some women are so territorial about these men. And for what? Now, I have to be on guard when I see her again, instead of looking forward to a funny and friendly conversation with her in passing. I’m also a friendly person. I speak to everyone, never have an attitude. I don’t see how women can devote time and energy into other women with this MESS. Its so petty and time consuming. Grow up!
I look forward to having my Sisters Only Gathering. I have a lot to say.
Meet my BFF Charlene! I met Char 25 or 26 years ago. We worked together at a Summer Job. When I met her we instantly clicked.
What I remember the most about her back in those days. She use to ask me Cree, do you feel like working today? I’d say Nope! She said okay…. I’mma go around and pop all the light bulbs out with my hands, so that they could send us home for the day. OMG…. its so funny thinking about that. They couldn’t figure out why the bulbs kept blowing, and sent us home EVERY TIME. We laughed, and laughed and laughed. We still talk about that to this day! LOL
We chat with each other everyday. We were talking about how we need to travel and get out more. We’re both homebodies, but at the same time love the finer things in life. We made a promise that we would start planning and getting out more to celebrate US in 2015.