Higher Is Waiting Question 2/BLOG

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Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring. It means trusting and allowing things to be tended by God. When have you done this in your life? What happened?

When I moved back home from Atlanta.

I’ve been wanting to move there since I was 22 years old (( now 50)). I moved Sep 3, 2012 on my Birthday, NEVER telling anyone how much pain I was REALLY in concerning my leg and barely being able to walk. One day before moving to Atlanta, I woke up unable to walk from the pain in my left calf area. When I got there I went on a interview and barely made it up the flight of stairs. I knew then, that I would never be able to stand at a job for 8 hours. I knew that if I went back home, I could get well, and go back to my old job of 9 years, but I was determined to stay there and make it.  I was so depressed when I was there.  I knew it would get better, but when? I had been waiting my whole life to move there, only to get there and not be able to walk.

At this point, I had made up in my mind that I was going back home to Detroit. So, one day I went on line looking for apartments, when I came across this one  Downtown. I thought, I could never live there. I always wanted to live Downtown Detroit, but knew the rent was too high. But this one kept standing out to me, KNOWING I COULDN’T AFFORD IT!!! That’s when I heard God say, YOU WILL LIVE THERE! I knew it was him speaking because I know his voice, I wouldn’t TELL MYSELF THIS.  Simply because I already came to MY OWN CONCLUSION that I couldn’t afford it. I immediately made an appointment to see it, while I was still in Atlanta. I had money, but I didn’t have the strength to stay while in so much pain.

I drove home from Atlanta and had to move in with my daughter, which killed me as a MOTHER because I wanted her to enjoy her new place. But she welcomed me, and saw how much pain I was in. When I say she nursed me back to health, mentality and Spiritually….. She did that! Not only that, but her DOWNTOWN apartment was around the corner from the one I made an appointment with. Never knew that when God told me I would move there.

The day after I made it back to Detroit, I went to see the apartment and I HATED IT. Told God I will NEVER EVER MOVE THERE!!!!!! EVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! I hated everything about it. Only 1 of the 3 elevators were working. There were ” Under Construction” notices everywhere. The atmosphere was terrible. The apartment that I saw was nice, but it needed upgrading, it was not enough for me to move in. I did LOVE how they kept the grounds up. I loved the Downtown location, but I hated all the construction going on. I just couldn’t see the vision.

I went back to my daughter’s apartment and told her how I hated it and that I was DONE!!! Told her, I would NEVER EVER move over there. I was done with everything. I couldn’t walk, didn’t want to go back to my job of 9 years. I was DONE!!!! Then I caught a bad cold,  I was depressed and even got into the worst argument with my brother in all of our life. I cried everyday, all day, the moment my daughter left out for work. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. I cried so much that I told God that if he gave me until a certain date (( cant remember it )) that I would stop, just allow me to keep crying. That day came… and I gave everything to GOD. Total Surrender!!

A few months later, my daughter was working to help a young lady find a apartment, without remembering the building I went to when I first came home, she told me she went to see one. I remember saying to her, “THAT’S THE SAME APARTMENT I LOOKED AT”. She said momma its nice over there, they’re doing repairs and the apartments are nice. She went on and on about how they looked.  The way she talked about this building made me want to see it again for myself. So, it made me wonder if I was just depressed and down at that time that I was over looking the potential of the building.

The very next day I made an appointment to see it again. I fell in LOVE. I don’t know how I over looked how well the building would look as it came together with the repairs. It was like I had a new set of eyes. I applied that same day! The lady called me 3 days later and told me to come and pick up my keys that was Dec of 2012. God told me that I would move there, and today I’ve been here for almost 5 years. Shortly after, I moved my parents DIRECTLY AROUND the corner. I stayed in my original apartment for 2 years, then they told me that when my lease was up that I could move into a BRAND NEW APARTMENT.

My APARTMENT IS BRAND NEW! ALL NEW EVERYTHING!!! I’M THE FIRST PERSON TO LIVE HERE WITH THIS UPGRADE. God told me that I would live here, even when I said NEVER and never thought about it again. When I gave up the control and trusted God that’s when I Surrendered. I’ve been at PEACE and happy ever since!!! I LOVE not only my apartment… but my DOWNTOWN LIVING! It happened just as God said it would. Thank you Lord! You gave me my hearts desire, forgetting that I prayed to live Downtown a long time ago. Thank you!

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting

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Thinking Out Loud/BLOG

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Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, and things aren’t going well, its so easy to point the finger at the other person to find fault with them. But I challenge you to get in a quiet place and ask God to reveal the things that are YOUR fault.

The things that you allow in a relationship cause for the person to react to that choice. What is YOUR role in a failed relationship?

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Learn From My Words/BLOG

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Being a writer… you have to be careful of how you word things…

My Momma always told me, that my mouth was going to get me in trouble someday

Sometimes I come off too strong and offend others

I NEVER EVER EVER curse people out, but I can put together a def defying sentence

 

 

Only God can get me out of this one

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Virgo Women/BLOG

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One of my popular post here in my blog is the one I posted on VIRGO MEN. But I wanted to do something on VIRGO WOMEN and just so happens… I’m one MYSELF.

I’m going to give you a BALANCED post by sharing in each paragraph the beautiful and the ugly about us VIRGOS.

Virgo WOMEN……. are some CRAZY, FUN LOVING, LAUGHING, GOOD TIME HAVING, PEOPLE. We love to laugh and surround ourselves with loving people. At work, my coworkers say they can hear me laughing all over the building. I’ve always laughed loud, because it hits me in my mind first, then it carries out to my mouth. Virgo women are those that walk up in a gathering, and THEN THE PARTY STARTS!!!!

VIRGO WOMEN……..ARE VERY very very VERY territorial about our kids, family and friends. We don’t play when it comes to them at ALL. If my momma is not answering her phone. She knows I’m going to BLOW HER PHONE OUT OF HER PURSE. She knows this. She knows I’m that CRAZY child that will jump in my car, and be on my way to kick her door in. LOL  To make sure she’s not dead or cant get to her phone. She knows this about me. My dad the same way, don’t let me call him and he’s not answering his cellphone. They know I’m crazy like that, so she will let me know where she’s going ahead of time so I won’t worry, and I have all the places she goes on SPEED DIAL… and she knows if she doesn’t answer…. I’M ON MY WAY!!! My daughter the same way. We both have iPhones, when she’s out and about (( sometimes)) (( Me: rolls my eyes)) she’ll send me her location. Most times she’s with her boy friend so I’m good with that, because he’s good people and he KNOWS me and her dad DON’T PLAY when it comes to her. But one time we were suppose to go someplace and she wasn’t answering her phone early in the morning.. Baaaaby… I put my shoes on, jumped in my car and I was at her apartment in seconds (( she lives just around the corner from me)). I stuck my key in her door and she jumped up out of her sleep. She knew then, that momma don’t play and she betta answer the phone. LOL LOL This is why Virgo Women don’t mess with people’s kids, we stay in our lane. That’s because we don’t want anyone to mess with ours.

VIRGO WOMEN…..are LOYAL. We LOVE our friends. We will tell them the truth and not sugar coat anything. Over the years, I had to learn how to be truthful but at the same time, say it in a way that it won’t offend the person. Most people can handle the truth, but it has to be spoken in a gentle way, and sometimes when we want people to really get it, we can say things rough. But, we don’t mean that you are dumb or stupid, we ‘re just passionate about you getting what we are bringing to you.  We won’t stand for anyone to talk about our friends. We feel that if you have something negative to say about my friend, then go tell if to YOUR friends. We are not the people you bad mouth our friend to. We don’t play that. One thing about us tho, if we find out that you have been DISLOYAL all the time with us, using things we told you against us, USING us, talking behind our backs about us, WE WILL CUT YOU OFF LIKE A DEAD TREE IN THE GROUND!!! We won’t have ANYTHING to say to you ever. If you keep sending us emails, calling our phones and leaving messages and we don’t respond.. LET IT GO. We are done. It makes us madder and madder, please believe we are sitting back thinking of ways to chop your whole body up, and package it in a fingernail polish bottle to send to …….. you fill in the blank. But then of course, we feel bad, and ask God to forgive us for those  CRAZY thoughts and get back to our lives. We just want PEACE!

VIRGO WOMEN… Love to communicate. We have to make sure that we know exactly what is going on in order to do things correctly. I may ask you 100 questions, because I want to get things right. I want direct details. We are some investigators too. You can’t just tell a Virgo woman anything. We’ll get to the bottom of the truth no matter how long it takes. We know people in high places and we will use all of our resources. I remember I was dating this guy we were very close. One day I woke up in the middle of the night and had a feeling that he was out doing something he had no business doing. I jumped in my car about 3-4 in the morning and went to the areas I know he goes to all the time, and saw his car in the drive way of someone he had been with previously. We were done as a couple. But the point I’m making is, we will do our  homework based off what we are feeling and what we may know. It will KILL  a Virgo woman to not act upon her intuition. If Im new at a job and you are the person that comes to me and tell me everything about everyone in the building… Im side eyeing you FIRST. VIRGO women like to get to know people for ourselves. You cant tell us about other people. NOW.. WE WILL KEEP EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN OUR MINDS… WE TAKE MENTAL NOTES ON EVERYTHING….. because we may need it later. Because when we realize that person was right, we have all the first hand information stored in our minds, and we WILL DISCONNECT FROM THAT PERSON ON SITE!

Virgo women.. well some. Don’t like to go through people’s private things. I just can’t. Its about privacy to me. I was dating this therapist years ago, I met him because I use to clean his office building. When he was gone, I loved going up in his room and snooping through his drawers, desk and other things. I couldn’t wait to find something new, so that I could bring it up the next day. Boy was that ignorant and silly. I don’t care whats in his office, room, phone, home…. just as long as we’re good.. Im fine. NOW……. If some information come to me.. that’s when the VIRGO WOMAN HAS TO INVESTIGATE….. and trust meeeeeeeeeee.. WE INVESTIGATE LOL Imma leave this right there! LOL

VIRGO WOMEN… Work!!! I never complain at my job. I do my work and do it well. My bosses loves me and I love them. I don’t give them any lip, any talk back, I don’t disrespect them, or curse in front of them even if they are comfortable saying a curse word in front of me. When a VIRGO woman is not feeling it, she wont go to work and spread her irritated atmosphere, she will stay home and get herself together. We work hard!!! Once a VIRGO WOMAN know her job description, she will run the business like its hers. VIRGO WOMEN cant stand complaining, whinny people. It irritates our souls to hear about aches and pains when that person can be in bed. Virgo women hate complaints!!!! We cant stop whoa is me type of people. I tell people to BOSS UP!!! When we work with people who complain, it messes up the whole atmosphere. We cant stand tell a tells. We believe in going to the person  and having a smiley face talk with them, after that.. WE DON’T DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE. To a Virgo you are INVISIBLE…. NOT EVEN HERE., NOT EVEN BORN, NOT EVEN KNOWN. WE ARE DONE!

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Men Who Cheat and Consequences/Kevin Hart/Blog

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Oh boy!!!! Are words I blurt out when I see trouble or about to hear bad news. And OH BOY (( say it quickly)) is one I have to use for Kevin Hart. But this is not all about Kevin. 

When I first saw Torrei Hart on Hollywood Wives, I liked her. I knew she was spicy and that she was very expressive. But I never knew she was Kevin Hart’s EX wife. When I found out, I saw the hurt in her eyes, the pain, the feeling of neglect. I can only imagine how she felt holding Kevin down through his broke years. Then once he came up, made jokes about their personal lives to the public, cheated on her……and MARRIED the one he cheated with. I know this new wife had to feel special that Kevin Hart would choose her to cheat with, fall in love, divorce his wife, then marry her. I’m a woman I know how special that would feel. But you know what?  That cheating mess, there is a saying…..The way she got him, is the way she’ll lose him.

I know that feeling of being cheated on (( even though I’m not married)), I’m a WOMAN and I can tell you all the things Eniko felt. Her heart dropped to the floor. It felt like someone was pounding on her chest. She was devastated. She probably stared into space for hours. She cried and screamed to Kevin and alone. Then… she thought about WHO ALL KNOWS… the public, her family and friends, her nay sayers, the kids, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM….. and Ahhhh yeaaaa TORREI HART.

Kevin put Eniko on the highest peddle stool to the WORLD… then dropped kicked her while pregnant. Calling her his rib and then cheating on her at a WOMAN’S WORST TIME EVER—PREGNANT! I really hope that she can get over this. She may or not be as strong as Torrei, but she surely has to deal with it. Being cheated on and being a public figure gotta be hard. Its hard being a regular person when all your family and friends know. Then if his wife chose to stay with him, Oh she’s going to be insecure.  From this day forward.. KEVIN WILL BE ANSWERING QUESTIONS HE NEVER THOUGHT COULD COME TO A WOMAN’S MIND!!! And he deserves it.

See this is how being insecure grows in a relationship. This is the start of Eniko checking pants pockets, checking his cellphone, inboxes, calling the set, calling the hotel,  calling his family asking his whereabouts, calling his friends,  giving them the side eye because she took them on as friends, and felt that should have helped him to stay faithful, all to make sure it wont happen again. I bet she’s feeling that she gotta stay with him, because WOMEN HATE TO LEAVE A MAN WHEN HE’S DOWN!!! Flat out we are weak like that. A woman will NEVER leave a man when the world is against him, cause we hate to see a man cry over the fact that he just lost his family…. UNLESS this is his 3-4-5 time of more cheating. But that same negra will leave yo ass for a woman he thinks is the catch of the day! I hope yall learning something. I don’t usually curse in my blogs. Before we hand him over to the world, we will make him remember this for the rest of his life.

Now knowing this, I wouldn’t doubt if  Kevin at least once  asked Torrei to be with him while he was married. We see Its still in him to have his cake and eat it too. And if she didn’t give it up.. I’M WILLING TO BET.. HE ASK FOR IT!!! SMH

I’m a woman…. . And let me say this…….. Kevin is going to spend years trying to make up to Eniko, answering all her questions (( and its going to drive him crazy)) to keep her secure (( which she’ll never be again)), but after a while…. that’s gon end because he’s going to get tired of it, because he wont be cheating anymore. But her nagging is going to make him want to go back out there. She wont be able to help it.

I read that Eniko came for Torrei just recently.. PUBLICLY… making a point of telling just how long she was with Kevin, which proved that he was cheating with her when he was married Torrei. Then for this to come out… Eniko boo, you got a lot to learn when it comes to bumping dem gums. What you say to hurt someone, will surely come back to you during the most sensitive time in your life. You EARNED THIS ONE!!!

Do I think Torrei should have gotten on TV and did interviews after this story broke… NO. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t do the father of my children like that. I would have just sat back in my living room with my LEGS CROSSED, and WATCH IT GO DOWN. I wouldn’t do one interview. I’ll sit back and watch Eniko look twisted face in every video, photo, and interview out there. Had Torrei not said a thing, Kevin would’ve been calling, texting, in-boxing and beating her door down, to ask her WHAT SHE THOUGHT OF THE SITUATION… When the tables turned in my case, it felt good to know that what ONE WOMAN DID TO MEEEEEEEE… IS HAVING IT DONE TO HER WITH THE SAME MAN. God forgive me on this one,  IT WAS BACK THEN… but it was my truth. and let me say this…… After I did all my laughing, and watched it all go down without opening my mouth, I opened up to her because she needed  someone to talk to that can relate to the same situation with the SAME MAN. There is NO OTHER WOMAN on EARTH that Eniko can talk to about Kevin… than Torrei Hart!

LaCrease. how do you know this so well… GLAD YOU ASKED…… BECAUSE I AM TORREI HART.. THIS WAS MY STORY….. AND I’M STILL SITTING BACK WITH MY LEGS CROSSED. Thing is….I’m not laughing anymore….. because I grew up and realized that these things hurt us women. I speak to WOMEN EVERY DAY about how to get over this pain and how to move on. I have helped so many women. I truly believe that I went through this so that I can help others. and I’m doing it everyday with BOLDNESS!

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Kenneka Jenkins I Need Answers… My Questions/BLOG

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I need answers… FLAT!

Tonight I saw a news conference with someone name Andrew Holmes did the mom OKAY his news Conference?

Did the mom view the video footage on Thursday? If so, what are her thoughts?

How many friends realized that something was left in the hotel room and went back to get it? Why didn’t someone stay with Kenneka if they knew she was really drunk?

Did Andrew Holmes really see the videos himself, or was he TOLD what happened based off them?

Why did Andrew Holmes see the footage before the mom?

What mood was Kenneka in when the friends went BACK to the room to retrieve those items left behind?

Did Kenneka take any PILLS anytime during the night or day of the party?

Who made or passed her drinks during  A N Y time at this party?

Was there anyone at this party mad at her for ANY REASON?

Were there PILLS in the room , were they sold or given away to anyone?

Did anyone tell her to meet them in the BASEMENT before the friends went up to the room to get the items they left behind?

Was Kenneka in a silly or playful mood when she was left in the lobby while the friends went upstairs to the room to get the left behind items?

What type of mood was Kenneka in when the friends went up to the room to get the left behind things?

Was she known as a prankster?

Who was planning to drive her car back to her home, since she was drunk?

Were there others still upstairs at the party when the friends went to the lobby to go home?

When the friends came back to the place where they left Kenneka, did anyone talk to hotel workers to find out if they’ve seen their friend? Did they help them look for her? Did anyone of them see her in the lobby?

How was her personality described by her friends, mom,  and sister on a regular day?

I won’t be able to REST until I know the TRUTH.. whatever IT MAY BE!

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Took Me Long Enough.. But I Got It!/BLOG

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As long as I can remember I was ALWAYS that little girl that felt that if me and my family was going to the park, why not ask if my friend Michelle could go. Not knowing that it was family day. Meaning that my parents only wanted our family to go, and that was it.

For the life of me, I couldn’t UNDERSTAND why my friend couldn’t go to join in on the fun. I thought…. all we were doing was going to the park to swing and play! That never made sense to me. As a child, I didn’t realize that parents have a reason for doing what they did. Maybe they didn’t have the extra money to buy her snacks, maybe they had just enough just for us. Maybe it wasn’t enough room for her in the car, because they were picking up groceries on the way home. Maybe, we were going out to dinner afterwards and there was only enough money for our family. No matter how my parents explained that to my little mind, I still couldn’t understand why my friend couldn’t go.

Which takes me into my ADULTHOOD.

I know, I know a lot of people, and that my personality is big. I get that about myself.  I remember this one time, me and my friend Gloria was going to the movies and out to dinner. I hung up with her after making our plans, to call a few OTHER friends and invite them to go with us. In MY mind, I felt…. Well, they wanted to see this same movie, why not invite them. So, when we got there, Gloria asked me….. who invited them? Even though she knew them, and liked them, she just wanted it to be HER AND I. I couldn’t understand that. In MY mind…. (( going back to that little gurl)) I felt that if we all wanted to see the SAME movie, why not invite them? I did that to my friend so many times that it saddens me to this day. It saddens me because I didn’t get it. I didn’t get the fact that everything is not for everyone. Its OK, if she only wanted to be with ME. She wasn’t being selfish, like I thought. Its a time for a few, and its a time for all. I couldn’t get that. 

Thinking back I DID that quite often. Not only that. But I trust people too easily. Again, growing up we lived in a house where if you laid something down, it was there when you went back to it. We were taught, if we go visit someone, and they have money or anything that DIDN’T BELONG to us, laying around.. DO NOT TOUCH IT! DON’T GO NEAR IT! So, when I was grown and moved out. I lived by those standards. But what I didn’t know was that not everyone was taught that. Man, I had so many things to learn that was taught differently in my home. I had a hard time adjusting to how things were in the world versus how I was raised. I feel like crying right now….. tears.

I got hurt so many times trusting people. Believing that everybody was good. Picking up strangers on the way to where I’m GOING… got side tracked several years. Sent me spinning. I should have been to where I was going.

My mentality WAS that if I’m going to the same place you’re going… “lets hop a cab and split it”..  ((( in my Andre 3000 voice.. John Legend -Green Light))) never knowing that it was okay to pay the whole fare BY MYSELF!  I don’t need to ride with you. And I’ll still be good!

I realize that where I’m going, everybody can’t go. Same for others, I can’t go everywhere with them either.  Even if we’re going the same way, you have to take your own car. You can’t ride with me, because just like my friend Gloria where ever I’m going they may just want it to be me and them. I learned that you can’t tell everybody everything, because in the pureness if me telling my story from my heart, my same story will be heard differently by someone else. I had to learn that too. But you know, that will NEVER happen to me again. What I know.. I know.. My friend is MY friend, Where God wants me to go.. I’m going alone.

I’ve lost too much time, messing around with people who don’t mean me any good.. And oh, I know how to fall back. I just didn’t know if I should.

That Chapter is OVER FOR ME….. I’M ready to RECEIVE LORD!

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