Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

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Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

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I have NO room to JUDGE/BLOG

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I was just in the bathroom thinking as I always do… too much sometimes. About all the mistakes I made in my teens and in my 20’s and early 30’s. The things I did, said. I will continue to give my advice, and I will always TELL THE TRUTH AND I DON’T CARE HOW MAD A PERSON GET AT ME… (( cause at the end of the day that’s YOUR story and NOT LACREASE ( mines)) .Forgive me.. but I say that with GREAT ARROGANCE! FRFR Because at the end of the day, I’m going to my apartment, CLOSE MY DOOR,  cross my legs turn on the TV, and that will still be YOUR story.

I came to the BIGGEST CONCLUSION…. looking back at MY life. I have absolutely NO ROOM AT ALL PERIOD… to JUDGE anyone ever!!! I really had my share of making bad decisions. I’m also happy that I can share them with others going through the same things. All I ask is that you TAKE WHAT YOU NEED FROM MY CONVERSATIONS and ADVICE.

I ask that you go down memory lane of all the things you did wrong IN YOUR EARLY DAYS, and ask yourself…. DO I HAVE ROOM TO JUDGE? Just remember this is NOT your story anymore, you are only a coach to someone.

I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE

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Why You Mad?? My @tylerperry Response/BLOG

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Hey Family!!!! 🙂 🙂

Tyler Perry wrote-May 27, 2015

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she was explaining to me how disappointed she was in people and the things that they do and have done to her. She went on and on about how upset and heartbroken she was, and has been, about some of her family and friends. She talked about how they hurt her and how she wished they would change and be better people. She wanted them to be different than the people they were.

Halfway through this complaint-a-thon, I asked her to take a walk with me in the backyard. Now, you have to know this particular friend of mine. She hates the heat, and it was a hot day. I said, “come on” so she reluctantly came with me.

We got outside and it was steaming hot. I could see that she was uncomfortable. Nevertheless, we kept walking around my backyard. As she was still complaining about people, I asked her what she thought of my grass. Mind you, in order to appreciate the grass you had to stand in the direct sunlight. She said “Wow, I love your grass. It’s beautiful, but it’s hot right here. Let’s cool off under that oak tree over there.”

So, as she started to walk to the tree I said, “No no, let’s stay here in the grass and cool off.”

She turned to me quickly and said, “We can’t cool off on this grass.”

Right then, I said to her, “But you just said the grass was beautiful.”

“I did” she replied. Then, I asked her, “Why won’t you stay here?” She said, because she was hot and the grass couldn’t cool her off. So, we walked over to the oak tree and sat there.

She said, “Now you see? This is what I needed.”

Then I asked her this question. “The grass was beautiful. You loved it. Why didn’t you get mad with the grass because it couldn’t provide the shade you wanted?

She was confused, so I went on to explain myself. “People in this world, whether they were created a certain way or became that way through life’s circumstances, are who they are. Stop wishing they will be someone else.”

I said, “The next time you get upset with someone because they can’t do, or can’t be what you want them to be, remember the grass. Never get mad at a blade of grass because it’s not a tree. Appreciate the grass for what it is. Let it provide to you what it can, but don’t expect more. Your life will get so much easier when you start letting people be who they are and stop expecting them to give you what they don’t have or don’t know how to give. Just like that grass couldn’t provide shade because it wasn’t made to, some people are not made to give you what you’re asking for. So, stop looking for it. You will be shocked at how much peace you find when you really get this.”

And the last thing I said to her was this. “You wouldn’t be so frustrated with people who are like the grass if you had more people who are like trees in your life.”

I could really go deep into this, but I gotta go back to work. Talk to me. What do you think?

Love y’all. Talk soon

My Response:

I love Tyler Perry’s messages because they always make ME think. I wake up everyday to learn a new lesson, I may not get it sometimes, but trust me.. I FILE EVERYTHING IN THE BACK OF MY MIND, BECAUSE I KNOW ONE DAY, ONE DAY.. IM GOING TO NEED TO PULL IT OUT, EXAMINE IT, AND FINALLY GET THE LESSON.

In this lesson, it took me a long time to get how people were. I use to get mad at people for not acting the way I felt they should act, and I would be done with them. I learned that you have to meet people where they are!!! In this life you’re going to meet a lot of people,  we all have different personalities. When we meet someone ((( IN PERSON))), they are exactly who they act out. That’s who they are…. and its okay… BUT CAN YOU DIG IT? I learned that I didn’t have to stay in that persons life because they didn’t act how I felt they should have. I don’t have to be their enemy, or be angry/mad with them either. There is always a lesson and reason why we come face to face with people who do things differently and act differently. Some people try to put a size 10 shoe on a 5 feet. Meaning, you can’t make people fit into what you feel they should be. Take them for face value,  get the lesson you need from them, and KEEP IT MOVING. I’m so glad that I came to a place in my life where I can get along with ANYONE…. its so crazy because in my 20’s and early 30’s…. Um Um…. NOPE! LOL In my late 40’s…… listen… I come to your life for LIFE LESSONS… not to talk on the phone all day, not to gossip, but to exchange stories and life experiences that we may have that can heal us together, or even make us laugh.

For Example: My Sister Peedie…IMG_2134 is always late for EVERYTHING. It use to BURN me up when we would all meet over to our parents house for pizza and laughs, she would plan the party for 5.. but always be there after 6. She does this  for every function we have. If I say the gathering is at 4, she’ll blow my phone up asking me what time am I leaving, that way she would know how long she has to BS before leaving out her house. LOL.. I use to be MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD at her. On fire. I use to wish that just one time, she would be on time. When God bought me to really examine this situation that bothered me so much… it BLESSED ME. He said.. your sister has been doing this for as long as you can remember. This is who she is. She won’t be on time, stop looking for her to be. This is your sister and how she does things. Get over it. Then I thought its OKAY.. ITS OKAY…. its funny now, because we make jokes and laugh about how late she’s going to be. I get it. I can’t make her to be a person on time, she’s always been this way. This is apart of her personality. ((( She’s always on time for work tho))) LOL LOL  I no longer “wish” she would be on time… I Thank God that she always shows up  ALIVE AND WELL

Now let me add this… I can call that SAME SISTER…. ask her for $20.00, she’ll bring me $40.00. One day I needed to borrow $20.00 she put a $100.00 BILL in my hand, we were talking so much, when she left, I realized what it was. If you call her for money SHE IS ALWAYS THERE. If you need a ride, she’s there ** late of course lol **, if you need to talk, she’s always there. If you need a favor or anything… she’s there. She always have it and if she don’t she’ll get it for you. God had to me to see that. I learned to look FOR STRENGTHS IN OTHER AREAS of a person, instead of focusing on their weakness. She wont be on time for anything, but if you EVER EVER EVER NEED HER… SHE IS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME AND ANYBODY ELSE!!!! So, after thinking about it…. ITS OKAY… IT REALLY IS OKAY.. that she’s not a person to be on time, because she has so many other things about her that I LOVE. I LOVE MY BABY SISTER.

I AM La’Crease ((I don’t have to do anything else))

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@neneleakes I’M SO PROUD OF YOU/BLOG

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Hello Family!

Wow what a breakthrough for Nene Leakes, MEEEE and hopefully the others on the show.

Father God in the name of JESUS… I hope thousands and thousands saw tonight’s RHOA and got in on the healing that took place at the end of the show. When Part 1 of RHOA Reunion Show aired… I kept looking at Nene real hard, it was something in her eyes that told me she was at a breaking point, sorta at a place where she didn’t want to fight anymore. A place where she just wanted to agree and not argue or debate. She’s enjoying much success in her life, and sometimes that could be hard when your past keeps coming back to remind you of where you came from.

I cried like a baby watching her breakthrough. For the first time since I met her on RHOA, I finally UNDERSTAND her. I get it. I get her. Lets all be real here NENE LEAKES IS RHOA! Flat out. She’s the driver of the show, and people want to be her friend. She’s funny, she keeps it real, she’s loyal (( she can throw shade)), and she seems to be a person who will help you out if you need her. I found out tonight that LOYALITY is EVERYTHING to her. Support means A LOT, and she looks for people close to her to be just that. She EXPECTS it.. and I’m so glad CYNTHIA BAILEY got up and went back stage with her. I cried. I cried. I cried. Even though they had fallen out, Cynthia looked at it like this….. “that’s MY FRIEND past or present… I know we’re not talking right now… and that’s cool.” “But she’s in a lot of pain and I cannot/will not sit on this couch and watch her go through this without me being there for her.” That was so big of her, and you can clearly see it in Nene’s face how she felt about Cynthia being there for her. She even Tweeted it. Ah… I was so proud of Nene and Cynthia.

Nene has ABANDONMENT issues steming from NOT ONE.. but both parents. I found out in my study that people who have these issues from parents…. often come off as being “tough” “aggressive” “argumentative ” and “defensive”. ((( MY dad))) I will share that story later))) They’re looked at as being SOOOOO tough, that people tend to overlook the fact that they too have issues. That they need loyal friends in their lives to listen to them as well. But the thing is… its not easy for these people to open up. Because they’re so busy being an ear for others. It may take a while for them to draw near to someone, but when they do…. they expect for them to be LOYAL to the end. When you see their number on the caller ID, and they need you, you better answer. And I see this in Nene. Now I see why she always say “you haven’t been a friend to me.” Being a friend to her is VERY SERIOUS.

Her husband found out this same thing. I LOVE him for her, because this time around he got it. She loves him, he knows her heart, and she trusts him. All she wants is to be loved and to be able to trust someone with her heart, her past, and her future. UM UM UM. Nene is wore out from arguing with these group of women. She’s tired. And she have good reason.

What I want to tell Nene is that….. the reason why your mom sent you and your sibling(s) to live with your aunt.. is because

YOU WERE THE STRONGER ONE.

SHE KNEW IT.

SHE DIDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU.

She knew that you would make it. She knew that in order for your other siblings to survive… she had to send her strongest child. LOOK AT YOU NOW… and I say that in HARD WORK.. not in licking your tongue out to her or anyone else in your family as in.. Nah- nah- nah- nah- nah. SHE KNEW YOU WERE STRONG, SHE KNEW YOU WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL.. Its okay Nene.. its okay. Cry everyday if you need too. Cry every night before bed. Allow yourself to ask questions… be submissive, be humble. GO BACK AND DEMAND answers from anyone you need to ask questions. GET YOUR ANSWERS, TAKE THEM HOME, PRAY OVER THEM, COME TO YOUR CONCLUSION…. THEN KEEP IT MOVING. In humbleness….. and UNDERSTANDING.

I also found out that having these types of issues from a mother… causes miscommunication/communication problems……WITH other WOMEN. Tonight, I looked at every woman on that stage, and Nene has slayed everyone of them with that tongue of hers * lol*. NENE can handle them all!!! LOL LOL I know it, the world knows it, and Nene knows it. But she’s tired of fighting with these gurls. And of course she doesn’t want/need to hear what she has done in the past. She needs forward healing, where she can get the answers she needs from her past, and then be able to MOVE ON!!! I found out that a person will say to themselves.. if my mom has done this to me and I have gotten over it.. “WHAT CAN ANYBODY ELSE DO TO ME?” And so they take on these thoughts, go out into the world, and fight anyone who comes for them. In their minds, they have enough energy to go around. But if you allow that negative energy to come into your space.. you’ll start thinking …….. How does my then match up with my NOW * which is so great and successful* and you wonder if you deserve this? Or, you wonder how did I come to this place, when my past was far from good.

It was a JOY to see NENE so humble, and giving them whatever they needed to hear **you’re right, and I’m wrong**… in the name of PEACE.

You don’t have to fight anymore boo. You are Nene Leakes and you don’t have to do anything else!!!

I AM La’Crease ((( and I don’t have to do anything else)))

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Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God. – Dr. Maya Angelou

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In Matthew 7:13, 14  Jesus speaks of two different paths we can take in our lives: The broad way that leads to destruction and the narrow way that leads to life.

As I meditated on this passage, the Lord quickened it to me by saying “Joyce, on the broad way there is room for all kinds of fleshy things like bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment, and vindictiveness. But on the narrow way there is only room for the Spirit.”

In the flesh it is easy to take the broad path, but the in result is destruction. It is much harder to take the narrow path but in the end it leads to life.

Emotions tempt us to take the easy way, to do what feels good for the moment. Wisdom moves us to take the way that seems hard at first, but later on  we find that it leads to life. Joyce Meyer

Conversations with friends, A Wedding Dance *tissue needed* (((((Blog)))))

JESUS CALLING

 

Its a new week already wow!

Today I had some great conversations with 2 lovely ladies. I enjoy ministering to them. You know when life lessons come to teach you something, you have to really get into a quiet place and hear from God. God always gives us exits. Always. They both told me today that they loved me and that I am always there for them when they need to talk. They went on to say, how they appreciate me as a friend. That really felt good, because for the last few years I have really went through a life change. And it shut me down. I mean I have gotten over not living in Atlanta, its the things that happened after that, which rocked me to the core. I had SO MANY inbox messages of people wanting me to listen to them, and flat out, I said look…. I’m going through myself.. I can’t even think to help you right now.

Week after week of listening to TD Jakes LIVE on Sundays * I know I should have been in my own Church* but I know for a fact that he has helped me to know my calling. It was meant for me to be under his teachings. I am so excited. There are no hesitations on my part anymore. No more wondering, no more doubt. One thing I know I cannot do again. Is to shut down on people who need me. I can make it brief, but to never shut down like I’ve done this time. No matter what I’m going through. God has equipped me to keep it moving…. and this I know. I enjoy doing this, its what I was called to do. I finally got it. I plan to put together a Women’s Gathering and its going to be out of sight!! Life changing for many. I haven’t been this excited in years.

Later on, I received an email from someone to join her on line Ministry. I am very excited to do so, she is a very lovely lady.. I need this group very much. We’ve been FB friends for a while and not only that, but she’s written a book and when I purchased it, I WAS SO SURPRISED TO SEE MY NAME IN IT!!!! SHE DIDNT TELL ME.. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? I had asked her a question which made her really think, not knowing how it helped her. You’ll have to read it yourself…(((copy and paste))))   https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ayanaelon

Please watch this very touching Wedding Dance. Get some tissue…. you will cry.

I’m closing for now….. Be Blessed
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Finding My * your* Purpose in Life 4 ~ La’Crease’s Blog

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Entertainment, Business, Women and Teens

Finding my purpose in life.
What is my calling? What are my gifts?

Entertainment- When I was 14 years old I was IN LOVE with Prince. I told my mom when he come to Detroit, I wanted to be there. She took me, not once, but twice. What a dream come true. Ever since then I fell in love with Entertainment. Not only was I enjoying Prince, but I love the live experience, the back ground singers, and especially the musicians. I love the way it made me feel. I felt so alive. When I moved out on my own I started going to more and more concerts. I would win concert tickets off the radio, and when I went to pick up my tickets, I met a wonderful Radio Personality for WJLB name Janet G. She was so nice and sweet to me. I love her to this day!!! There were many times when she would call me down and she would just give me concert tickets, that was often. I believe that she played a huge role in me loving entertainment as much as I do. I enjoyed going to see the Male Dancers as well 4-5 times a week, just to see them do routines fast and slow.

I missed a lot of concerts waiting on others to go with me, or to get their money together, so I started going alone. It was hard in the beginning. I started buying tickets without telling anyone. Seem like every time I went with others, I was getting seats way in the back, but when I went alone I was sitting in rows 1-5….. every time. I went to several plays before I knew who Tyler Perry was, but when I went to one that was terrible…. I vowed to never, ever go see another play again. I also enjoyed comedy. At concerts and plays I started paying more attention to what was going on back stage than what I came to see. I wanted to be apart of a backstage crew. I enjoy planning and how things came together. I absolutely LOVE ENTERTAINMENT. To name a few of my favorite concerts and plays that I’ve attended would be…… Anita Baker, The Late Great Gerald Levert, Barry White and Luther Vandross, Karen Clark-Sheard, Shirley Caesar, Missy, Mary J Blige, Janet Jackson. Destiny Child, Kelly Price, Jill Scott, Chante Moore, Maxwell, and Tyler Perry. Too many to name. I know for a fact, that Entertainment is apart of my calling.

Business- I LOVE taking care of business. I love to hear YES… in all my business ventures. Sometimes I push it , but its all good. When I was in my 20’s I learned how to speak well over the phone and in person to get my way. My family and friends would call me and have me to pretend to be them because they were nervous. I’m good over the phone, but face to face .. IM EVERYTHING. Seem like I can never get my way through email because I come off too persistent, and people LOVE to tell me No because they can’t see me. It started for me when I was a young gurl, my mom would make business calls and they would always tell her No, or make her have to do all of these unnecessary steps. Sometimes I felt that they sense that she was nervous about handling her business * which she was*, and they always gave her the hardest time. That bothered me. So, I made sure that when I became an adult, that wasn’t going to happen to me. Just tonight she called me and gave me a phone number to call in the morning so that I can take care of her business for her.

I learned that you have to have all your questions written down before you make calls. You have to speak with authority and know what you want. You can’t be afraid to ask question. Its your business, and you should feel comfortable asking whatever you want and need to know. I put together a lot of things, and in order to do this, I have to make these kinds of calls. If I have to see them in person….. that’s even better. I know for a fact, that the business is apart of my calling.

Women and Teens- I’ve always had a connection to them I learned to keep secrets at a young age, and it was needed in order to gain the trust of women and teens. No matter how deep the story is, God has always given me the tolerance to hear all kinds of unbelievable stories. I use to cry a lot when I’d hear the stories because they would be so devastating. But over the years God has strengthen me in this area where I’m able to listen and not take it personal. I’ve put together many Women’s Gathering, where we get personal, talk about God, and discuss how to deal with issues in relationships. I’ve worked in Detroit Public Schools for over 9 years total and I loved it. When my book is released, I know so many women will read it and change their lives. I know for a fact, that Women and Teens are apart of my calling.

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Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy