Sail On My Friend/BLOG

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Hey Family!

I know its been a while since I’ve written anything here. But I lost my MALE BEST FRIEND to a trucking accident. He was a local truck driver. He’s been since I met him over 22 years ago. He loved to drive state to state for 2-3 weeks at a time, but since he started having grand children he wanted to be home more to spend time with them, so he changed his shift to locally.

January 10, 2019, My sister called me. I was taking a nap. I saw that it was her and answered the phone. She asked me if I had seen anything on FB about my BFF Rodney dying in a trucking accident. I sat straight up in bed as my heart started beating fast, I told her No. She told me to get on line, and go to our brother ex wife page. It read RIP Rodney Adams, and I was SHOCKED!!! I was mad at her for posting it, I wanted her to take it down. I was in denial and didn’t want to believe it. I asked her where did she hear that from? She told me from someone she knew. So, I went to his mom’s page, his daughter, sons, BFF, his siblings and NOTHING. No one had said a word. I couldn’t cry because I didn’t believe it. Not MY BEST FRIEND!

As the night went on I was glued to all of their FB pages and finally his sister posted. I was devastated. I knew it was true then. Still I couldn’t cry because I had just spoken with him less than 2 weeks before. We worked different shifts and when we talked over the phone.. WE TALKED!!!!!. He always made me laugh with his stories. I use to call him just so that he could make me laugh.

I can’t believe that I wont see my friend anymore. His BFF Mike for over 45 years was calling him to say that his MOTHER had passed away, just to find out the HE (((Rodney)))  had too on the SAME DAY.

There was a HUMAN WASTE spill on I-75 that was backed up for miles and miles and miles. After “cleaning up” the right lane only ((( they were STILL cleaning up the other lanes))) they had to open it up to release the traffic. Well…. all of the waste along that right lane wasn’t completely gotten up. A trailer truck carrying a camper slid in the right lane on the waste  leaving part of the camper hanging out of the right lane. He got over as much as he could from on coming traffic. Then Rodney comes along driving his truck, SLID in the waste as well and slammed right into the back of the man and his trailer. The driver was okay had a few injuries. The family said the first responders prayed with Rodney as he was pinned to his truck. He was in and out, after the prayer they told the family that he complained of his legs hurting. As soon as the jaws of life pulled him out, he died INSTANTLY.

The days after as it sunk in, I have crying spells daily. Even to this day. I think about him calling me all the time as he drove.

His family put him away beautifully.  I miss my silly friend. He loved people, and LOVED HIS FAMILY. They said that so many times at his service, how he loved his Facetime LIVES, his family, especially his grandkids, family barbecues, Prince and his Superfriends. They are made up about 7-8 friends who went to high school together.

One thing I am grateful for…. his relationship with God. He LOVED GOD. They had the best relationship I can say this myself. I can’t wait to see him again.

Here is a song that his sister and her husband sung at his service. It happens to be one of my favorite songs from a CD I purchased years and years ago.

Rest Rodney. I love you.

Cree

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MY Dreams/BLOG

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Hey Family!!

Several times a week I like to sit and talk out loud to myself. Yes, I live alone so I talk out loud so that I can hear my own thoughts. Most times they’re about myself, or maybe something that happened and I want to go over it again. I do this to check myself. Sometimes, I can say something that someone heard differently than I meant, and I like to go over it a few days later, to see where I can better communicate. But mostly, I like to examine my heart.

I was talking to a male coworker of mines and I came to the conclusion that I need to study my bible more. I told someone today.. I’m half way through life… I’m 50, I’m almost to the “next level”. LOL I gotta laugh at my own thoughts. But it’s true.

I pray and talk to Jesus daily, but, I NEED TO STUDY MORE.  I love my closeness with God. I love how he speaks to me. I just feel that its always more to him. No matter how many times you read a Scripture it will always come back to you in a different light at another time. I hope you got that. But you have to put in the time. You have to make time (( I’m talking to myself as well)). You have to set aside time for God. Yes, yes, yes we get off track, not to say we don’t love and acknowledge him, but that study time, and time alone is EVERYTHING. Sometimes I get wrapped up in LIFE, and we lose sight of whats really important.

I remember Tyler Perry would write his fans these long uplifting, encouraging, and inspiring emails. He hasn’t written any in over a year!!! I would look forward to his messages. But again, we all get off track. Doesn’t mean we don’t love God, or have a relationship with him. Just means we have got to get back to what bought us here. For me….. more time with God and more studying!

I was thinking one day… Cree what is YOUR dream? I always felt that it had to be some huge thing that I bought or lived in. Whenever people asked, I never wanted to say, because I felt it may not live up to what others had dreams of. Maybe, to own a shop or something, but none of those things has been my dream. Mines is so simple (( don’t take the word simple lightly than how I’m using it)).

My dream is to sit at my own BOOK SIGNING, and see the lines out of the door. I want women and men to say how much I inspired them. I want them to say, that they thought they were the only ones to go through what I’ve written. I want them to say, how I helped them to express how they were feeling about a certain situation. I want to see their faces, talk to them, cry with them, connect with them. I want to look them in their eyes and feel everything that they carry.

My second dream is to marry someone I’m completely in LOVE with and he feels the very same way about me. I want to do MARRIAGE seminars. I want to help marriages stay alive. I first believe that husband and wife should have great chemistry and that’s what I LOVE. GREAT CHEMISTRY IS EVERYTHING. I want my husband to be full of GOD, and I want to be submissive to him.

I can go on and on about both of my DREAMS for myself in this LIFE…. but I’ll stop here.

Check out my FAVORITE MARRIAGE TO BE YOUTUBERS.. I LOOOOOOVE THIS YOUNG FAMILY..  I watch their videos FAITHFULLY. CHECK OUT THE CHEMISTRY! ALWAYS CONNECT TO THE  WHAT YOU WANT TO ATTRACT!

MY ACE FAMMMMMMMMMMMILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Watch yo mouth… SLICK TALKER!!/BLOG

MY FACE

I was watching a clip of Jada Pinkett-Smith when she was about to be interviewed concerning the Aunt Viv video. It kinda blew me away when the reporter couldn’t get her question out fast enough, and Jada snapped her fingers and told her to “get it out”. It reminded me so CLEARLY of situations that’s happening daily to so many people.  Please click the link below to see just what I’m talking about.

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Ever since I started working at 14… I always pride myself on treating people like I wanted to be treated. That always stays on my mind, but let me be clear there have been many times, where I’ve fell short of that. I never knew what it is about me (( well I know now)) that always made members of management take a liking to me. Not only that, but my co-workers as well. I’m not saying that they favored me, but I am saying that I respect others, they respect me, and I don’t haha hehe in their faces. I talk to people with a tone of voice where they get it, and not be offended. I don’t talk side ways, and I don’t scream. I use DIRECT eye contact, and #1 I will not complain to a co-worker about something that’s management related! I go to them. I say all of this to say…..catch and check “side ways talking” on the spot. Because once it builds up, you will allow people to run all over you. Now, I know the difference in playing and acting silly, being sarcastic and having fun because you know the person. But just off rip.. HELL TO THE NAW!

 

I know a lot of people. I know how to communicate. I know how to express myself. I know how to get my point across. Yes, I may come on strong, but I enjoy working on that. I have came a long way. People, mainly coworkers have always felt that I was the favorite of management…. not true. I love myself, and I respect myself. I can see things from a level of a person with Power, and a person who has no Power. Thank you Jesus I can. I hate unfairness. I can’t stand favoritism.

 

MY POINT! To see Jada snap her fingers at the REPORTER… when she would NEVER EVER EVA EVA EVA EVA do that to Oprah, Cicely Tyson, or Denzel Washington, pisses me off to NO END!  People mistreat others according to how they SEE THEM. That’s just DISRESPECTFUL AND UNACCEPTABLE!!!

 

I have seen Celebrities on Twitter speak or hold a conversation to another celebrity… and wont that person BREAK THEIR DAYUM FINGER NAILS RESPONDING BACK,((( and will apologize if they saw it days later)))) just to not seem like they are ignoring the person. Its fu**ing sad. I listen to Steve Harvey in the morning. And when he’s talking to a Celebrity on the phone, they’ll ask how he’s doing, and its laughs and conversations. But when a non celebrity call in, he rushes to say that he’s doing fine, and if the story don’t make sense he will TALK ALL KINDS OF SIDE WAYS …. and I just be like ARE YOU SERIOUS? Could NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BE ME!!!! I have to turn the station because I can’t stand to listen to the down talk. The interruptions, the side ways talking, the making the caller feel STUPID AND WORTHLESS. Pay attention. Thing is…. he probably has no idea he does this.  Its a AUTO-PILOT of who to talk to side ways… and WHO NOT TOO.  Publicly, celebrities don’t talk side ways to each other.

 

BEFORE CLOSING Speak up for yourself. People like me because I communicate, I don’t play games, I do my work, and I don’t stick around for “conversations that has nothing to do with me”. Know your worth. Don’t let people talk to you any kind of way. Snapping fingers and making you feel like, ((((in Jada’s case)))) if you don’t hurry up and ask the question.. THEN YOU WONT HAVE THE CHANCE TO GET YOUR ANSWER. UM CUSE ME…GURL watch out! (( move to the side))

I AM La’Crease… (((I don’t have to do anything else!)))

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Patti Labelle is so FUNNY! LOL/BLOG

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Hahahaha…Ive seen this video before and its SOOOOOO FUNNY TO ME.. Because I finally get a chance to see HOW I LOOK when someone says something stupid to me.  LOL I’ll make faces just like that, it keeps me from saying something that will offend…. YOU! Down to the word “boo” I would have explained myself using the  very same words. LOL LOL Those facial expressions are priceless. Patti wasn’t going to let the conversation go on without her EXPLAINING her part. SOOOOOOO MEEE!!! LOL

When I DON’T want to offend you, I JUST want you to UNDERSTAND. Patti was showing the audience that its paper not the actual cupcake she’s holding. OOO weee that was funny. I promise this is MEEEEEEEEEEEE ALL DAY.. My family and friends LOVE when I have to do that. I keep it friendly laughing and to the point! I don’t want anyone mad at me.. I just need you to UNDERSTAND. Take a look!

Bobbi Kristina-RIP/BLOG

Just sitting here crying my eyes out re-watching Whitney Houston’s funeral thinking about God and how we must all leave someday.

I was also thinking about how close Whitney and Bobbi were. You can tell in every video, how much love they had for each other. That lil gurl loved her mother something deeply. I can relate, because I feel the same way about my mother. We’re very close, talk on the phone everyday, we’re always together. I was at her apartment late last night. Took her to dinner the night before, I  take her grocery shopping,  take care of her bills, out for rides, trips, and her doctor’s appointment. I LOVE my mother something deeply. Bobbi Kristina was a young gurl when she passed away, I CANT imagine the pain she went through with the world watching. Always having to say “I’m okay” when she wasn’t. I just CAN’T imagine the tears she cried every time she thought about her mom. The love of a mom is DEEP.. A love that God can only create.

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Then I think about my daughter, my one and only, my 9/3/86… I love this lil gurl something deeply and she loves me the same way. We’re so close its scary sometimes. I wonder how did God give us the ability to love so strong. Don’t get it twisted… I LOVE GOD more than anything and anyone. HE GAVE ME- THEM BOTH. Since I have HIM.. I have them. I’ve been playing the song below all morning, crying my eyes out, thinking about the LOVE OF A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.

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RIH Bobbi Kristina… I know you’re where you want to be. (( tears- tears- tears))

#FIFTY SHADES/ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY/ PART 2 OF MY STORY/BLOG

LET ME IN 50 SHADES

(Continued) #FIFTYSHADES

 I realized what he was doing…..he was interviewing. I thought to myself…. “I know dayum well he aint the one doing the interviewing.” Now… I’m staring at him. He’s so dayum fine …he catches my eye. I found it hard to turn away. I was nervous. I can’t be interviewed by him because I know me… I’ll be nervous. Oh my GOD.. I thought to myself.. this is not happening to me. Not today. Not this time in my life. I have no control, I felt weak, and once he saw this in my eyes he would take me mentally to a whole new height.

So… I sat there. I tried to convince  myself that he wasn’t the one to interview me, that maybe there were several interviewers. I had to have went over this in my head about 20 times. He kept looking at me, so I decided that I was leaving. Nope, I wasn’t about to be interviewed by this man. He was NOT going to intimidate me. Nope not today. Now…. I have this thing about me, if I catch the eye of someone attractive and for me…. its one of MY “ugly” days, then I will NEVER be intimidated no matter how good he looks or turn me on. Because in my mind, I’m thinking Ok Cree….he thinks you’re cute today, just wait till he sees you looking good. So, that kinda helps me.

But on this day………………… I was looking good!!! My face was MAC FLAWLESS… skin beautiful, eyes *wish a brotha would look me into these marbles and not get caught up – lol*, lips poppin, hair on point * no wigs or fake hair*, smile… SMILING, eye lashes batting… had on my all black outfit with my boots…. couldn’t tell me nothing before I left out of the house. As I sat there…. I made up my mind that I was leaving. Wasn’t going to put myself through this.. I’ve been down this STREET a time or two of being CHEMISTRY intimidated and not able to get out of it. I stood up, grabbed my purse… just then I remembered that I parked valet and didn’t have my keys. Dayum.. I said to myself and sat back down. I decided that I was going to stay. That I was going to get through this interview and have full control. I fought myself all while he was still interviewing. I know me…. I’ve been though this before. There aren’t many times a woman look into a mans eyes and become star gazed on first site. Its a feeling that paralyzes you. But I must admit its one of the sexiest minutes to be apart of. But dang…. why couldn’t this happen while at the grocery store, mall or restaurant somewhere…… NOT A INTERVIEW. SHAT!

He stands up and shakes the hand of the person he just interviewed and the person leaves. My heart is pounding as he’s walking towards me to get to the desk to ask “whose next”. We make eye contact and we speak at the same time. I knew he was coming for me. I was in trouble. He goes to the desk and the gurl points at me. “DAMMIT” I said in my mind… he IS the one going to interview me. I embraced myself as he walked towards me looking me DEAD in my eyes, trying to “download” my every thought in my head…..through my eyes. We smiled and its a wrap for me…. I already know. He walks toward me and says ” LaCrease Walker?”…. Yes, I said as I stood up to shake his hand. He walks in front of me and says lets go over to this table * the one he was at while doing the other interview*. I was so dayum nervous… I started to say… “YOU KNOW WHAT?” I’m good on this job, it was nice for you to call me. I’m outta here. But I didn’t.

He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch. There was also a table there, that he had all of my information on. I couldn’t turn my mind off of how FIONE he was as he looked at my resume. He looked good from afar, but up close OH MY GAWD!!!! I kept telling myself…GURL….. get it together. It was silence as he looked down. He knew what he was doing. He was loading up on me, when he came up from that paper and asked that first question… I knew he would take FULL CONTROL. As he asked me the first question… he sat back and had his way with me. Looking me so deep into my eyes, downloading everything about me. Reading me, taking mental notes. Just dogging MEEEEEEE.. LOL Just like in the movie during the interview scene. All I could do was try to stay focus. The chemistry was so deep..so alive. So in my face. Then he asked more questions. Still staring me in my eyes as I spoke…so sexy and so sensual. I felt my body reacting to his stares. I tried to redirect my thoughts, but he kept looking at me. I know my eyes started telling him what my thoughts were… I couldn’t even help it. LOL I was slipping away yall.

Whenever he spoke about the company… that was my time to regroup my thoughts and get myself together. I kept having to have these inside pep talks with myself, because I didn’t know how much of these intense stares I could take. Just as I got myself together, there goes another question. A time for me to talk while he download my thoughts. THEN…… in the middle of me answering a question… he stops me and says… “Take off your coat”. To myself… I’m like “OH HELL to the N word NAW… um um you wont be seeing this beautiful shapely booty, my thick thighs and my waist line that carries it all. NOT TODAY!!! LOL LOL LOL I told him that I was fine. He insist. But the way he said it.. it wasn’t in a sexual way… or out of order…. NOT AT ALL… LET ME BE CLEAR…to him….. it only made sense to “get comfortable”… since I appeared to be ” NERVOUS” and the interview just started. I didn’t  want to do it…. if I ever had a chance to get out of it…. IT WAS GONE NOW.

I stood up which the space between his chair and the couch I was sitting on… placed me right in front of him.. LIKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I stood up and began taking off my coat… I tried to turn my head as I did it.. but our eyes locked and I PROMISE ON every TRUTH IN ME…. this man took off my coat for me!!!! His eyes told my coat to come off… AND IT OBEYED LOL LOL I had never in my life FELT SOMETHING SO INTENSE. When I took it off and sat it on the couch.. I felt like my breast, vagina, behind everything was EXPOSED! Its funny now looking back on it… but it wasn’t then. Shat…. I don’t even remember the interview after that. LOL

Whenever he spoke and shared things with me about the company, I reloaded trying to get “the POWER” back that he  was “stealing” from me. LOL  When it was my turn to answer the questions… my mind started failing me again.. worse every time. I starting thinking about kissing him, laying on the couch…all of this sexual stuff started coming to my mind. I’m saying to myself… “guuuuuuuuuurl if you don’t knock it off!!!  I couldn’t even help it… I was under a spell. The way he was looking at me.. he knew what he was doing. I was so weak and he knew it. He controlled the whole atmosphere and he was loving it. FINALLY …. the interview was over. YES!!!! He said.. I’m going to set you up on for a second interview. I was happy about that. He told me what time to come back in 2 days. I got to my car sat in it….. and almost needed a cigarette. I don’t smoke cigarettes, weed, anything… don’t even drink.. but I needed a hit of something that day. I was in a daze all the way home. I kept hitting my wrist asking myself…. what the HELL JUST HAPPENED? The experience was GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!! But dang….. not at a INTERVIEW!

I thought about that man all day and all night. I couldn’t even sleep the meet was that INTENSE. I had a plan for him.I was going to “get that ass back”. When I go back… I was going to be in CONTROL. I was not going to let him take over my mind, sexually and mentally again. I didn’t sleep for 2 days thinking about it. I remembered what he said…. he kept saying how he loved my bubbly personality. This time… I was going to be about BUSINESS . I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE that about myself. I can give you BUBBLY.. SMILES.. LAUGHS… COMMUNICATION…SEXY, everything… but when I put on my BUSINESS FACE…….YOU WILL NOT be able to figure me out… because I’m in control of MEEEEEEEEE. I LOOOOOOOVE  that in myself.

The day and hour came for me to go back for a second interview… I walked up in there like  I WAS PART OWNER.. LOL LOL * Sho the FORK did*… Yalp had on my BUSINESS face like………..who WANTS TO SEE ME AND WHERE THEY AT? LOL LOL Guess who comes out to greet me.. looking BETTER THAN THE TWO DAYS BEFORE… GOOD GAWD…. um um ummmmm. One look into my eyes  as we shook hands to greet……and he said….. “you don’t seem as bubbly as you did before”… I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF IN MY MIND. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YESSSS ITS WORKING…. He said you’re okay? I said yessss… I’m good!!!! 🙂  I’m saying in my mind as we lock eyes… “what you want me to sit around here naked in the second interview too”? NOT GONE HAPPEN BOO. LOL  LOL LOL I was so happy I had my POWER back. He was looking good though… but I was ready for him and his PARALYZING STARES. LOL He directs me to the same area we were in before. But this time I sat in the other chair that sits a table, the couch I was on and the chair he sat in. He leaves to get the person who wants to meet and interview me. They both come back, but only the guy who is doing the interviewing sits down and in the chair that *handsome* sat in last time. We got to talking about the job, then about his friends, dogs, homeless people, being sick.. kids, everything. We WERE KICKING IT.. I was so comfortable… I felt so good. He was so cool.

Then…………here HE comes…. didn’t he PARK his FIONE self on the couch between me and the interviewer… sat and stared at me THE WHOLE TIME. I’m saying to myself.. GOD MAKE HIM LEAVE!!!!! I cant take it. He watched my every move, heard every word I said.. analyzed me, captivated me, sexually intimidated me, took off my clothes without ONE touch, downloaded all my thoughts, made me apart of his atmosphere, and took all MY POWER away. I tried to ignore his presence… I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. I tried to believe this wasn’t happening to me. I tried to stop looking at him. He was loving it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I had no control. The guy who was doing the interview was so into his story and life.. he had no idea I “left the building”. LOL I was at Mr. “House”. LOL I couldn’t stop looking over at him. I was a mess. He got me. He got me good. After that… didn’t even matter. I was butt naked again.. in his presence. I just let myself go. What the hell I thought to myself… he won! My thoughts took over and my nipples got hard. My vagina walls started doing the Harlem shake, flips, cart wheels… and whatever thoughts came to mind….. my body REACTED. AT one point… I tried hard to get back FOCUSED…. but it was like little kids in my head with markers, crayons, pencils and ink pens… coloring and scribble scrabbling all over my thoughts. What ever conversation I tried to muster up.. I couldn’t because the kids in my head…. scribble scrabble on my thoughts. HE got me.. h Then came time for paper work. We had to get in the elevator ALONE together.. and oh boy…. NOT THE ELEVATOR…. so personal… so sensual. The chemistry…… can’t even explain. I will say… that I LOVED  the experience.. I LOVED how I felt… I LOVED the attraction and chemistry between us… but it was the wrong setting.

Please go see Fifty Shades of Grey… if you love my story… you’ll LOVE that movie… So sexy and inviting. 🙂 Listen to another of my FAVORITE SONGS from the SOUNDTRACK… Oh.. I love this song.

Be Blessed!

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Love Story/BLOG

ALFINE

This Monday night I was watching Christmas Movies. I never watch them, or listen to the music…  I never could get into them. But I’m a new fan. I watched 2 of them, and it has gotten my juices flowing to write a LOVE STORY. I’ve always had one in me, but those movies inspired me to go in. Not sexual.. but to  explore LOVE exactly how I see it in my mind. I was always afraid of letting it go, and putting it on paper. When I started writing it, I thought of people I know in real life and it just started flowing. The visual is awesome. I have a long way to go, but getting started has got me so excited about it. I’m going in. If only it was real life… lee

 Just listened to Luther….  I’m going to write a little.. got me thinking.. 🙂

Be Blessed!