Day: June 5, 2006

                            #7

Always in the Driver’s Seat: After Tony and Stephanie’s first few dates, she was the one driving the relationship forward. They had to do this, read that and work  through problems he wasn’t even aware they had. At first Tony went along with it, feeling fortunate that he had such a strong and meticulous woman. But when they became engaged and he watched her drive the bridal party the same way she’d driven the relationship, he saw how put off everybody else was. Before long, he called off the wedding. He decided that rather than have Stephanie run his life, he would run in the other direction.

What Went Wrong: While it is useful to have high standards, if they are too high, too much time is spent trying to meet them and too little is spent simply basking in each other’s company. You may become a more impressive-looking couple, but you’ll have nowhere  near the fun. Sometimes a woman takes a strong leadership role because her guy can’t or won’t so she feels she must. More often than not, through, her controlling tendencies are motivated by profectionism. Her rigid standards for a relationship are an extension of those she sets for herself. For her, good enough is never good enough.

Solution: When we lose some of the control, we may gain a partner who  is willing to go the distance with us. Relax those rigid standards, loosen up and let serendipity rule.

 By Ronn Elmore