Day: September 2, 2008

Today was a much better day. Thank you Jesus for that. My dad is doing better plus me and my sister had a real good talk today. Communication is Everything, Ive always written that in my blogs. If you have something that you need to say to someone, tell them, don\’t assume anything.

Today is my Birthday!!! Sept 3 I\’m 41 years old. Wow, Thank you Jesus for me seeing another year. Yeaaaaaaaaaa. And………. today is also my one and only baby * well she\’s a grown woman now* Neisha\’s Birthday, she\’s 22 years old!!! She\’s in school, this is the first year that I won\’t see or spend it with her. But when I get off work on Thursdayshe\’ll be out of school for the weekend, we are going to dinner and were going to laugh and act silly as we usually do, plus go to the book store…… our favorite place.

Virgo\’s are surely in the HOUSE!

For my BD gift my mother is buying me and Ticket to see Maxwell!!! Tickets go on sale Friday morning. I hate that I\’m going to be late for work that day buying tickets @ 10:00 am, when I have to be at work at 9:30. But…. Oh well, that\’s a point on my record, but it\’s well worth it. When it comes to MY Tyler Perry, Anita Baker, Maxwell, Mary J Blige, Prince and a few others I try to support them and plus I enjoy good GROWN FOLKS plays/concerts. My mom took me to a Prince concert when I was in my teens TWICE, and I have been loving concerts ever since. I\’m truly addicted to concerts. I enjoy the atmosphere of good music and worthy artist.

Almost 6 years ago when I moved into this house I\’m at now. I had just lost my job, my car went down and all I had was this nice place * thank you Jesus* didn\’t even have money to pay the bills in it. LOL I was praying and just seem like nothing was happening for me. One day in the midst of all this. God said to me \”Lacrease someone is going to knock on the door and offer you a job\”. So, I\’m saying to myself………..dang how is that gon happen God? Yall know how we do, when we hear something that we can\’t see happening…. we question it. But, I knew it was God, because I just couldn\’t come up with something like that in MY OWN MIND out the blue. I knew it was him. So everyday I would get up looking for jobs, calling here and calling there, when my phone rung one evening. It was my sister husband\’s- Sister Mar Quetta*. We all call each other Sisters because our families are close*. She was telling me that the lady next door from her, KNOCKED ON HER DOOR ASKING HER IF SHE knew anyone who wanted to work at HER daycare. Tripped me out do yall here me? I almost dropped the phone when she asked me that question. She called me of all people. Maybe because she knows I like to work with kids. I was stuttering saying yea, yea , I want the job. She gave me the lady phone number and ASAP she set up an appointment to meet me. I went to her day care * beautiful Christian Center* and she gave me a tour of the place, introduced me to the kids and everything. I had to get several clearances, take a TB shot and I was ready for my first day of work.

Got to work that day, and as she was showing me more things, I felt compelled to share with her what God had told me about someone knocking on the door and offering me a job. She was so excited to hear my story, after we talked for a while and did paper work she showed me the age group that I was going to be working with. I really wanted to work with the smaller kids on up, but when she took me to the nursery * which I didn\’t know she had* I wasn\’t so sure. She told me that this is where I was going to be working. To me working with babies, is really not my area. I enjoy conversations with the little ones, and teaching them new things. I\’m really a teacher at heart. But at that time it didn\’t matter I just needed a job.

Very first day of work, I was working with a girl who was working her last day. I can tell she really wasn\’t feeling it, she was ready to go ROLL OUT!!! LOL At some point, I weighed all my options, and said to myself…..I can\’t do this anymore. The babies hollering, the gurl is ready to leave, we are short handed, and I wasn\’t use to babies. I knew my lunch time was 12 pm. I couldn\’t wait. I must have looked at that clock a billion times. I said Lord forgive me, but when I walk out of that door for lunch IT\’S A WRAP…..I ain\’t coming back!!! I sat there saying to myself, Cree that\’s wrong, don\’t do this lady like that, just talk to her. Every time I wanted to talk to her, I had a feeling that she was going to talk me into staying and to believing that everything will eventually be alright. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I just couldn\’t stand to hear her beg me. I felt it was just easier to leave for lunch and never return.

Wrong….

12:00 pm was here and Creedog was at her car, saying to herself, Lord forgive me, but I\’m never coming back to this place again. I went home, took off my clothes, turned the ringer off, got in that bed, put the covers up to my neck………………. and I was OUT LIKE SHOUT!!!. I looked at my called ID, the lady called me a thousand times, my sisters called me a billion times, Quetta called a trillion times. EVERYBODY was calling my house because they thought something happened to me. The lady called every number on my application * hehe* and then when I didn\’t answer, my family started coming over to my house knocking on my windows……..woke me up too. They were so worried about me. Guess I didnt think that far of the lady calling my family. I answered the door, and when I told them what I did. They laughed, but said that I was sooo wrong and that I owe the lady an apology. Well….. I know I owe her that, but I just couldn\’t face her. I tried to call her the next day * cause that day was GONE* but I couldn\’t. So after a day or so, she realized that I didn\’t like the job and that I wasn\’t coming back, so she wrote me a letter. It was Christian like but she told me off in a Spiritually way, lol. I knew I was wrong so I didn\’t have not one word to say.

So recently she has been coming in to Walmart, she would speak to me but I don\’t think she knows who I am. I picked up some weight so I don\’t think she recognized me. Well she came in last Friday morning * hardly no one was in the store* through my friend line, and when I saw her, God said now is the time you talk to her in person. I went over to her and I said Hi * can\’t think of her name* I said do you remember me? She looked at me real good and said you look familiar. I said well, I\’m Lacrease you hired me about 6 years ago to work in your daycare, and when I went to lunch I never came back. She said yeahhhh, * then she really looked at me* lol I said well I just wanted to tell you in person how sorry I am for leaving you like that. I said I was wrong and afraid that if I told you how I felt you would want me to finish the day out and I just wasn\’t feeling that at all. I said to her, it wasn\’t anything against you or your daycare, it was just that I wasn\’t feeling it. She said oh okay… I remember that clearly. We smalled talk and that was it. So I felt good to finally get that off my chest, no one was around, and I got a chance to look her in the eye. When I tell you she looks just like Ciara the singer, please believe me. They are both tall, BEAUTIFUL, meek, pretty skin, nice hair, she looks like she could be her oldest Sister. They look excatly alike.

Looking back on that incident, only reminds me how far I have come. If I ever ever ever ever ever ever ever go to a job and I don\’t like it, I will politely tell the person how I\’m feeling, thanks for the opportunity and I am outta there. I realized that I don\’t have to hurt someone in that way. I like to tell the truth and be honest, so today in my life that wouldn\’t be a problem. I know this tho, today I may be willing to stay till the end of my shift, more so than back then. That was really bold how I did her. But also I\’m glad that I got a chance to get that off my chest. So now when I see her, we can speak and move on.

Barack Obama was here in Detroit as I told you all. His speech was short and to the point. He spoke about the people on New Orleans. He said to give to the American Red Cross, time, and anything you can to help the people there. He said he didn\’t want to talk politics, and I believe that the people were satisfied. He\’s a Leader, he knows how to change the atmosphere. He knows when to roll and when to fold. Afterward he made me wanna share my ice cram cone with somebody * just playing * but seriously he just made me feel so positive. He made me feel that it wasn\’t about ME, and I like that. He said that he was in touch with Security Homeland to see how the people were doing. I love that. I\’m about helping the people. I want everyone to be okay. I can be the Leader, leading the people, or I can be the last one making sure everyone is in line and doing fine.

Make sure you all go and see my Boo Tyler Perry\’s new movie next Friday Sept 12 The family that Preys!!! Don\’t let me get yall now. I\’m going to see it on Thursday night at 12:01 me and my family do it each time he has a movie. Last time I was sooooooooo sick and couldn\’t go, but they still went 15 deep!!!

Well talk to you all tomorrow. Back to work for me on Thursday. MY Sister bought me a cake * yummy*.

Below is Dream Lover by Liz Hogue, song # 85 in my iPod

HecallMEcree

Lord only you can wipe my tears away.

Today my sister called me and we talked about our baby sister *34* being mad at us for not going to see my dad and as often as she does. Growing up she was closer to him and we were closer to my mother. Today we all talked on the 3 way, and my sister told us to come on around the corner because her and her fiancee * I just love him to pieces* made food on the grill. I was happy to go because my baby sister was mad at us for a day, and we wanted to hug and see her. I knew she had picked up my dad, so that was cool too we could all be together.

My dad has always been an alcoholic, we have gotten over that part. But now he has Ataxia, its a disease that attacks his nervous system and causes him to fall at any given time. My dad is very very very stubborn. Although he has a walker and a cane, he feels that * people* will look at him if he has to have a mobile chair or anything to help him walk. Tonight he was slurring, and drinking, and it just made me cry so bad. Never in my life did I know my sister had been dealing with this, because the rest of us me, my sister and brother wont deal with it, especially since he doesn\’t want the help. Tonight I finally understand where my sister is coming from. My dad couldn\’t walk off her front porch, my brother, brother n law and we had to physically carry him off the porch. My dad has always been a person who * doesn\’t need help*, and to see him in this state, just killed me tonight. Had it not been for God, I wouldn\’t have any tears left.

I\’m just so hard broken that he is killing himself with liquor and cigarettes. My mom left him 6 years ago, he\’s staying in a senior citizens building, and now I\’m going to wonder about him day in and day out. His speech is so slurred, and when he stopped the drinking it was coming back. We told him that we wasn\’t going to put his liquor in the truck and he just went off on us. He turns into this demon about his Liquor. So just tonight I called him to see how he is doing and he was doing okay, I can tell in his voice. I\’m going over to his house tomorrow after Neisha moves in her dorm and see how he\’s doing.

I see what my Sister is talking about. She could never do that alone. She needs us, he needs us, we need each other. I couldn\’t even live with myself, if I don\’t step in. He\’s not like that all the time, that\’s the good part, it comes and goes. But tonight I think God let me and my sister start back talking, just so that I can see what she was talking about. And I see.

I see that I\’m going to have to set some rules for him before I start being back in his picture. My dad hasn\’t spoken to my mom is almost 2 months because she got tired of running over to his house bringing him liquor and cigarettes. he plays these mind games with us, and that\’s what I\’m NOT going to deal with. No way. My sister just let him have his way. He did give me his doctors number, so tomorrow I\’m going to give her a call to see if he can get a mobilized cart to get around in.

Guess I tried to retire stepping up in the family, guess by me being the oldest, Imma have to wear the badge once more. Maybe that\’s why God made me the oldest. I do my best to make things happen.

Thank you Lord for a shoulder to cry on, its late and I have to be up and out by 8am. Thanks for forgiven me. Thanks for comforting me. Thanks for looking over my ignorance and maybe denial about my dad, but I learned it is what it is!! Thank you Lord for this day.

Photo is my dad, my baby sister fiancee, and my brother- n- law

Good Night

Cree