Category: life lessons

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Share five things you’re good at

🗣️ Communication

I love to communicate. Expressing my feelings and thoughts is second nature to me. Whether it’s talking with people or listening to understand how they feel, communication is my way of building bridges. It’s not just about words—it’s about connection, empathy, and understanding.

🧩 Problem Solving

I study people a lot, not to judge, but to understand. Everyone handles life differently, shaped by their unique experiences. That fascinates me. I’ve learned that problem solving isn’t about finding one “right” answer—it’s about respecting different paths and perspectives

📋 Planning

Planning is my happy place. I especially love organizing gatherings for family and friends. I can visualize every detail—the dishes, the plates, the silverware, the tables—before it even happens. That vision helps me avoid last-minute stress. I write things down, I prepare, and I make sure nothing is left out.

🚗 Driving

Driving is freedom for me. Funny enough, I didn’t start until I was 32, but once I did, I fell in love with it. I’ve driven all over my city and even in places like New York. I don’t like driving in the rain or the dark, but give me Michigan snow and I’ll get you anywhere safely. Daytime drives are my specialty, and I can pack up and go for hours with little sleep—just because I love it that much.

🌱 Working with Children & Young Adults

One of my greatest joys is guiding young people. I started a teen group in my home that ran for five summers, and we did everything you can imagine. Helping children, young adults, and women prepare for the real world is something I take seriously. It’s about equipping them with tools, confidence, and love.

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Chapter 2: Finding My Groove in Brush Park

I’ve officially moved into my new apartment, and while everything is unpacked and in its place, I’m still searching for my groove. At my daughter’s home, I had a rhythm—a flow that felt natural. Now, in this beautiful new space surrounded by concerts, dog lovers, and the heartbeat of Detroit, I’m starting fresh. And let me tell you… it’s not as easy as flipping a switch.

I know it’ll take a few weeks. I’m giving myself grace. But I also know I need to move my body. The fitness room is just steps away, yet I haven’t felt the pull to go. That’s okay. I’m not forcing it. I’m listening to my spirit, and she’s whispering: “Start small. Start soulful.”

One thing I’m proud of? My eating habits have shifted in the best way. No goodies in the apartment. No mindless snacking. No overeating. Just intentional meals and a lighter feeling—physically and emotionally. That’s a win I’m celebrating.

This is Chapter 2 of my journey. A new space. A new rhythm. A new level of self-awareness. I’m not chasing perfection—I’m embracing progress. I’ve got to get into my groovy. And I will.

Because this next chapter? It’s mine to write.

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What are your top ten favorite movies?

  1. Mr. and Mrs. Smith – Action, chemistry, and chaos. A wild ride of love and espionage.
  2. Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds – A soulful reminder that purpose often lies beyond routine.
  3. Titanic – A sweeping love story that never sinks, no matter how many times I watch it.
  4. Monster House – Creepy, clever, and surprisingly heartfelt. Childhood nostalgia with a twist.
  5. Just Wright – Romance meets resilience. Queen Latifah shines in this feel-good favorite.
  6. The True Story of The Apostle Paul – A powerful portrayal of transformation and faith.
  7. It Should Happen to You – A classic tale of fame, identity, and the longing to be seen.
  8. A Patch of Blue – Tender and groundbreaking. Love that defies prejudice.
  9. Mo’ Better Blues – Music, passion, and the price of ambition. Spike Lee at his finest.
  10. White Chicks – Outrageous and hilarious. Sometimes you just need to laugh out loud.

Each of these films has offered me something—whether it’s a lesson, a laugh, or a lens into someone else’s world. That’s the beauty of storytelling. It connects us, challenges us, and sometimes, it heals us.

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What do you enjoy most about writing?

Growing up in a home with both parents, I always felt a deep need to express myself. My mom understood me—she saw the spark behind my endless questions. But my dad? Not so much. He didn’t understand why I asked so many things. To him, it felt like noise. To me, it was the beginning of understanding.

I wasn’t trying to be nosy. I was trying to learn. I wanted to understand why people thought the way they did, why they reacted the way they did, and what shaped their choices. Over time, I realized that every experience a person goes through becomes a lens through which they see the world. That lens influences how they respond, how they love, how they protect, and how they communicate.

Even now, I ask questions—not to pry, but to connect. To understand. To grow.

But when words failed me in conversation, I found another way to speak: writing. Writing became my sanctuary. It gave me a voice when I felt unheard. It gave me clarity when the world felt confusing. And most beautifully, it connected me to others who feel the same way—those who may not write, but who find comfort in reading.

Writing is more than just words on a page. It’s a bridge. A mirror. A healing space.

So to anyone who’s ever felt misunderstood for being curious, for feeling deeply, or for needing to express themselves—know that you’re not alone. There’s power in your voice. And if you ever feel like speaking is too much, try writing. You might just find yourself there.

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How do you plan your goals?

Every morning since my stroke, I’ve made a promise to myself: stay consistent. I’ve always known what I needed to do, but consistency was my biggest challenge. That changed when I started writing down my daily goals first thing in the morning.

📋 I keep my list close, checking it throughout the day. Each checkmark feels like a victory—a quiet celebration of progress. It’s a feeling I can’t quite explain, but it fills me with joy and purpose.

As I move through the day, I notice things I want to add to tomorrow’s list. But I’ve learned not to overdo it. Pacing myself keeps me on track and prevents burnout. This rhythm of planning, doing, and reflecting has become my anchor.

💖 I love this new version of me. She’s focused. She’s intentional. She’s healing.

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START building yourselves A VILLAGE for the LIVES of your CHILDREN

Growing up, influence wasn’t a trend—it was a way of life. We didn’t curse around our parents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, or any elders. Period. Respect was rooted deep. Even the smallest slip—saying “butt” or “you lied”—was a line we knew not to cross. And if we did? Oh yes, trouble followed.

Our parents didn’t parent alone. They built a village. And in that village, we had second mothers—like Ms. Harris. She didn’t play. She loved us hard and checked us harder. As kids, we joked that she was always “telling on us,” but deep down, she treated us like we were hers. And looking back, that wasn’t snitching—it was love.

I learned that lesson for real when I moved out at 22 with my three-year-old daughter. I was standing in my new kitchen, proud and grown. Hair laid, bad shape SHAPING, smile radiant, pretty face prettying, and feeling good. That’s when I heard God whisper: “You still have Me to answer to.” I knew His voice. I’d known it since I was 14. And in that moment, I understood adulthood doesn’t erase accountability.

Later, I found a new village—a four-family apartment, full of mothers. Ms. Elizabeth, Lorraine, Tonya, La Sonya-* Googie*, Yvette * Kim* we did life together. We shared meals when times got tight, watched each other’s kids, ran errands, cried, laughed, celebrated. We didn’t even have to build a village—God delivered it.

That influence? It passed to my daughter. She never cursed in front of them. She understood respect wasn’t optional—it was inherited. And to this day, respect runs deep through her. As her mother I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So today, when I see adults cursing on Facebook like elders can’t see it… I cry inside, because they have kids too. Just because you’re grown doesn’t mean you throw away your dignity. Being able to search your mind for better language—that’s growth. And me? At 57… I’m just not that grown.

Let’s stop acting like influence is outdated. The truth is: the next generation is watching. So, let’s guide them, correct them, love them. Even if it upsets them. Speak wisdom, carry a spirit that commands respect. Be a mirror of God’s voice, like I heard that day in the kitchen.

Let’s stop being afraid to correct. Let’s reclaim our influence. We may be grown, but we still have Someone to answer to.

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What’s the story behind your nickname?

My nickname is Zee-Zee, and while I can’t say for sure where it originated, I know exactly where it bloomed — from the heart of my grandmother. She was my mother’s mother.

From her two daughters, my grandmother welcomed five grandchildren into the world — each with a name, and more importantly, a nickname chosen by her own spirit and wisdom. These weren’t just pet names or playful labels. They were personalized blessings.

We are:

🌟 Zee-Zee — that’s me, the eldest of the eldest. 🌟 Dee-Dee — my cousin Dial, named by Aunt Wana, my mother’s only sibling. 🌟 Na-Na — my sister, born Yolanda, lovingly nicknamed with a gentleness that mirrors her soul. 🌟 Bobby — our brother, named after our father Robert, grounding us in legacy and tradition. 🌟 Peedie — our baby sister Electria, whose nickname sparkles with playfulness and youth.

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How to Talk to Kids About Personal Boundaries

“I never imagined I’d need to ask this out loud. But when was the last time you looked a child in the eyes—your daughter, your niece, your godson—and said, ‘If someone ever touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you can tell me. Always’?”

  • Don’t wait for a “reason.” Start age-appropriate conversations early so it never feels like a one-time scary topic.
  • Let kids know that nothing is off limits—they can talk to you about anything without fear of punishment or disbelief.

👂 Believe and Support, First and Always

  • If a child shares something, believe them. That moment can shape the rest of their healing journey.
  • Validate their feelings without rushing to “fix it”—sometimes presence is more powerful than immediate action.

⚖️ Don’t Stay Silent—Speak Up

  • If your gut is sounding the alarm, don’t ignore it. Whether someone said something, or you just sense something’s wrong, trust your instincts.
  • Taking action might mean confronting someone, getting authorities involved, or simply documenting behaviors and keeping a close watch. Silence protects predators—truth protects children.
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Did Tyler Perry Owe Monique an Apology? Analyzing the Fallout

If it were up to me, I would want everyone to get along. I think this situation with Tyler Perry and Monique has gone on long enough. I can tell that, in her mind, Monique felt she found the perfect time to bring her case up again about being blacklisted in the industry. I’m starting to think her feelings are hurt. I believe she looked at Tyler in a different light than he realized. For him not to give her the apology she feels she deserves, she just won’t let this go.

From my understanding of the fallout, Monique made Precious with Lee. They finished the movie, and it was supposed to go straight to DVD—not Netflix, not Prime, and not to theaters, but straight to DVD. She agreed to $50,000. The movie was done and ready to be released. Then, Lee showed the movie to Oprah, who loved it and shared it with Tyler, who also loved it. I’m assuming that Lee, Oprah, and Tyler decided in good faith to support the movie and push it so everyone could benefit. Monique would get an Oscar for her performance, more roles, and lots of money. Lee would gain recognition for his work, and everyone involved would see significant advantages.

I’m guessing that after seeing the movie and deciding to promote it, they approached Monique to ask her to do press, which meant supporting the movie through interviews and events. However, what I don’t understand is that, since this movie was originally going straight to DVD, Monique was already done with the commitments she had agreed to. If they now wanted the movie to go straight to theaters, they should have gone back and renegotiated her contract. Everybody knows that if Tyler Perry and Oprah put their names on a project, its success will skyrocket!

I’m sure Monique went to Lee to ask for more money to cover travel expenses and promotional activities, but he said no, despite knowing how profitable the movie could become. That’s a significant issue. Here’s where I start raising my eyebrows: Was Monique pressured by Tyler to do press without being informed of what she was originally paid to do? Did Tyler know her financial arrangement and still expect her to do the press for free? Or did he understand her hesitation, respecting her decision not to spend her own money, and feel that Lee should have covered her expenses? Perhaps he told her to forget about the money and focus on the potential benefits of earning an Oscar. But Tyler Perry, as a billionaire, can’t reasonably expect someone to do something for free under those circumstances. No ma’am.

Bottom line, Monique feelings are hurt. Maybe Tyler should just give her an apology.

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I Had to Cut My Hair/Short Stories

I’m 57 and haven’t had my hair braided since I was a teenager.

My sister came over one day and put some braids in for me. I loved them, but they could have been smaller so they would last longer. I wore them for about a month. It was so different for me because I wasn’t used to getting up in the mornings and not having to do my hair. When I took them down, the waves left in my hair were so pretty. I even took photos. But what happened next SHOCKED ME.

I didn’t comb my hair out; I just went to the sink and started washing it. As I was washing, I noticed that my hair was balling up and feeling thin. It didn’t feel like my normal wash. When I was done and dried it, I ran my fingers through it and saw that it was tangled so badly, I think I went into shock. It was full of clumps that I couldn’t even comb out. I stood there in shock as I tried to detangle it. I tried everything. That’s when I drove to my daughter’s house for her to help me. We did all we could, but I had to cut out the tangled hair. I was devastated. I didn’t know how long it would take to grow back, but I knew what worked for me in the past. Here are some photos from 2022 and now, 2024.

What I used to grow my hair. Ponytails everyday for 2 summers.
I’m so happy my hair grew back and it’s even longer now. Don’t be afraid to try.
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