Day: September 23, 2007

Hey ((((waving))))

How was your weekend? Mines was good. Me and my 2 co workers went to dinner tonight, we sat and laugh for almost 4 hours. That\’s a long time. I bet the guy who did our table was like \”dang when are they leaving\”. For $21.00 a person, sho won\’t be in an hour. LOL My sister Yolanda wanted to go to the movies with her husband, so that was cool, and my other sister came home from work late and was looking for her dog. Which brings me to this story. She pulled up in my drive way and I could tell something was wrong as I walked to her truck. She let her miniature Doberman outside @ 4:00am to use the bathroom, but instead of my sister putting her on the chain, she was sleepy and went back to lay down. Normally foo foo would bark, scratch, or wait on the porch until they open the door to get her. Well, this morning when my sister woke up, she realized that foo foo was still outside and went to go let her in, but she wasn\’t there. My sister went to work, and got a call that she still hadn\’t returned. Foo foo is my baby. I love that \”little gurl\”. I call her my niece. When my sister told me that she was out looking for her, I instantly wanted to cry. She saw it in my eyes. I didn\’t even want to talk about it anymore. I told Neisha she is so sad, I took her back to school today, and she was quiet. She spent a lot of time with Foo foo, when she would go over to see my sister and her cousins, Foo foo would have a fit if Neisha didn\’t show her some love first. Foo foo is a dog that thinks she\’s a person. If you sit on the couch, and decide to get up, when you get back Foo foo is going to be sitting in your spot. And if you try to move her, she is going to growl, and show her teeth, knowing doggone well she won\’t hurt a fly. I\’m praying for her return, she has never ever left like this. If she leaves, she\’ll come home within a few hours. I love her so much, I just don\’t know what to say. I feel like crying. I\’m sad.

Tomorrow is another workday 11-8. I\’m going to knock these hours out, come home take a nap, and brainstorm for my gurls group.

I know I\’m rambling, but I learned something new about myself today. I have got to STOP being so motherly to Neisha. She is grown, on her own and in school doing her thang. Tonight while unloading the car @ her school, because she came home this weekend. These 2 guys were walking pass, staring at her, he was STARING, out the blue he said, hey do you have a boyfriend with your fine self\’? I looked at him, I said boo, I\’m her mother, how are you gon just say that to her in front of me? He goes \”Oh I\’m sorry I didn\’t know you were her mother. So, I\’m like its okay boo, but YEAHA I\’M HER MOMMA. Neisha smiled and we went into the building to her room. After a while I saw her laughing trying not to let me see. I laughed too and said Neisha why are you laughing? She said \”ma, I\’m thinking about what you said to that guy on the way up. So, I\’m thinking to myself, I need to back off and let herhandle things her own way. I can tell maybe I caught all of them off guard. She said momma you want to look young those other days, LOL but this time you let him know you are my momma. ROFL!! Im like sho did!! Boy, I tell ya, your kids get grown and move out, then you find yourself still being their \”momma\”. I gotta \”Let it go\”.

See, I already feel that God has me in this season of \”Let it go\”! I feel it. I know it.There has been too many situations LATELY, where God has me seeing things, and having me to be quiet, to not ask questions. He\’s teaching me to \”Let it Go\”. When my sister told me that Foo foo was lost, I asked her how come you didn\’t put her on the chain, she said cause she was sleepy. I was about to get upset, I had to turn my head and look down the street.I heard God say \”Let it go\”. I\’m like I can\’t let this go, he said, you got too, cause there is nothing YOU can do about it. I went in the house and sat down. When Im on Tyler Perry\’s message board, and those people start posting mean stuff and going back and forth, I get upset for a mintue. I love him, they can\’t be disrespecting his message board. But when/if I respond, I realize that Im adding to what I dont like. So lately, I havent been responding, just \”Letting it go.\” It feels kinda good, to turn my head and know that its out of my hands, for once I feel as if I DONT have to \”handle it\”. Being the oldest is a trip sometimes. Still trying to look out of others.

My friend Kiki was suppose to go to dinner with us.( My friend is a DRAMA QUEEN TO THE 1000TH POWER! Imma share one of her outlandish stories on another day. Yall are going to die when I tell this!!!!) It was after 4 and time to go, so she says well I\’m not going, I\’m full. I said what you mean you\’re full? She said I just finish eating. I said Kiki why would you eat, and its time to go to dinner? She said cause I was hungry. See my friend is crazy like that, she kills me with that nonchalant attitude. I laugh when she tell me stories of how she be doing to other people ( nothing bad), but next time I\’ll have to pull out my nun chucks when she does me like that. I wanted to go through the phone and pull her teeth out in the back ( she need her front ones). That\’s how upset she made me. I heard God say…………Lacrease \”Let it Go\”. I said alright gurl, let me get off this phone, and I\’ll talk to you later. (that\’s my get off the phone sentence when I\’m mad LOL) I hung up.

Oh let me go back to Neisha ( Neisha\’s dorm). So we gets up to her room, where she share with one other gurl. Her roommate has a boyfriend who goes to Wayne State as well. Well, I guess he doesn\’t have a room on campus, so she moves him in with them, and now its 3 to a room!!! You know I\’m pissed off right? That room cost OVER $6,000 for 8 MONTHS and this gurl moved her man up in there. Neisha being the person she is () saying that she can stick it out until May of next year, and that this is a learning experience for her, which is good, but this gurl is clearly out of order!!! Yall know I want to go \”Madea\” on her and \”GET HER GURL\”. But you know what? God told me tonight…… \”Let it go\”. If Neisha is cool with it, then I should be. When Neisha gets feed up with him being there, without him paying not one dime, that\’s cool with me. She has to live there. At least she has her own private room, with a lock and key. She said that this has been a learning experience, so I\’m cool with the fact that she WILL speak up if she needs too, and that she is learning something about people. There comes a time when you have to let you child learn on their own. Couldn\’t be me, that\’s all I gotta say. Couldn\’t be me!!!!

I\’m on my way to bed, I had only 3 hours of sleep last night, I don\’t know why I\’m not in bed yet. Guess I need to get this off my chest.

Cree

Today was a good day for me at work this evening. Thank you Jesus!!! I am doing so well and Im very proud of my self. I realized that I may have been apart of my own problem I have had with the customers. When I’m not feeling them, they can sense it, so maybe that’s why I wasn’t doing well with them at one time. Lately, I have been patient, caring, sincere, and very friendly. I pray before I go to work, my drive there is always so good, and walking in the building isn’t so bad anymore. I changed my whole way of thinking when it comes to people, no matter what they do, or say to me, my last words are always “have a nice day.”

I miss my gurls group. I talk with some of the gurls all the time. I miss them so much. They keep asking me, when are you getting the group back together, and the answer is soon. Right now, its taking time, because I want things to be right, I don’t want things to end like it did before. Things were happening so fast, the group was growing, and I wasn’t ready for all that! LOL I say that in a funny/good way because when I say it took off, it took off. This time things will be different, less gurls , because I want to have more one on one time with them. They need me, and when it is a lot of gurls in the group, the ones that don’t talk much, or participate less are the ones I need to reach. It got to be very expensive, and as I look back on that, I had way enough money to care for 25-27 gurls. You know it was God because it sure wasn’t me!!! We never lacked for anything, God always made sure that we were taken care of. They miss me so much. I ask myself how did I let this happen? Why did things have to end, what happen to my passion for this. Things did happen to turn me off, but this was my vision, something I saw years and years ago, and I let it get away from me…….over night. But you know what? My chance is coming back, and this time……… I will be here to stay. God is going to give me a second chance. I feel it, this thing is back in my spirit. My heartbeat is coming back, my drive and so is my motivation. I’m excited!!!!!!!!!!

Im closing for now, I got to get up in the morning, plus me and my coworkers are going out to dinner this afternoon @ 5pm to get our chew on!!! Oh did I tell yall, that I had bought me some cute Khaki pants to wear as part of our uniform at work. Well, I couldn’t get my hips in them, but they were too cute to pass up, even though they cost a bit more, I had to have them. Got them home and tried them on, they were a hot mess on me. They couldn’t button, nowhere near half way. So I put them back into the bag. Here it is 3 months later, and I hear God say out of the blue, try on those pants. So, I’m like oh ok, cool. I tried them on and BAM!!! I was in them babies!! Whatchasay? I was so happy and prancing in the mirror. Then I heard this “hater” voice say, you didn’t lose weight, you could fit them all the time. I said oh noooooooooooooooooo, don’t even try it. Old trickster tried to tell me, I was already fitting into them. Like saying those excercises didnt work……he lied!!! Naw, Im going to get all the credit due me, on losing that weight. OOOO I’ll tell ya.

Well, Im going to close now, got a nice day ahead of me, and Im so sleepy. I love you all and I will write tomorrow.

Cree