I shared a little of this story… but I didn’t go into MY FEELINGS about it. But every since I was in my early teens my dad told ME.. * I’m the oldest* that he had another daughter. I was excited…. for one I LOVE people, and for some reason, it felt good to know that I REALLY WASNT the oldest *she’s 4 years older than me*. This story is different for me, because while my dad shared it with me when I was younger, I started having visions of what she looked like, what her personality was like, what kinda person she was, did we favor. And it stuck with me for years and years and years. As I got older, my dad would tell me “don’t go looking for her, you don’t know if her mother told her something different”. Even though I wanted to go against what he said, I knew it was true. I use to get my dad alone and ask him so many questions about her, that he wished he had never told me. LOL I couldn’t help it….. now looking back on it, it probably made him feel uncomfortable. I would think about her day in and day out… all the time.
Still to this day….since I finally got a chance to talk to her over the phone, I still wonder if she’s my sister. With all the information that she has, she believe that my Uncle through marriage of my dad’s Sister that we are cousins. I think differently. We have set up dates to meet, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’m kinda nervous…. because I will know from the moment I see her,hug her, and talk to her. And if I feel that she’s my Sister, a part of me will feel cheated……and I know that I will express my feelings.
When I talk to people, I always use the words Sis, Boo, Sweety, Baby, Princess and all of those words of endearment. But when we chat on FB or over the phone, I want to say Sis so badly.. because I’m use to saying it to people, BUT this is different. I really feel that she is my Sister.When you are told as a kid that you have a sibling out there, and you are interesting in meeting them, over the years you start to think about this person, you start to wonder about this person, and you have this longing desire to meet this person. You build this LOVE inside of you automatically. I have this LOVE for her as MY SISTER and it won’t go away, and I have told her this, she was very happy considering everything that has happened in her life, that she is accepted NO MATTER WHAT. I go to her FB page and look at her photos all the time, she reminds me of me so much. She loves people, and know lots of them just as myself. Today at work, I got a text…. and for the first time it was FROM HER!!!! I didn’t know, until I went into the bathroom to see who was texting me. I WAS SO HAPPY AND SO GEEKED!!! We have had lots of long long long conversations, very DEEP … but if I could just see her face to face. Lord, please help me to control my thoughts and what come out of my mouth WHEN I DO. I’m so direct, but I don’t want to come off as….. YOU’RE MY SISTER AND THAT’S FINAL!!!! LOL Even though I tell her this all the time, in all seriousness…. this is a sensitive ISSUE…. and I will bridle my tongue. LOL LOL LORD HELP ME ON THAT DAY 🙂
Inside the mind of cree 