What a powerful morning. I didnt go to service today, but I did watch it LIVE on line. We had a guest speaker, so at 12 ish I watched Pastor Marvin Sapp on StreamingFaith. He gave me the words I needed to hear. It was like it was meant for me to watch him. I just starting praying asking God to keep on showing me….ME. Asking him to forgive me for my sins, anything that I thought of, I asked him. I feel so much better, its like I have the strength to get started on my journey.

For some reason Im always trying to move ahead of God, and end up temporary disqualifing myself for what I am called to do. I promise God that I will learn to walk behind him, not with him, not ahead of him. He is the Leader and Head of my life, and its time I chill. Its okay to be lead. I need to stop mixing my spiritual life with my physical life. Meaning, its true Im not married, but that does not mean that since there\’s no man in my home phyiscally that I should walk ahead of God Spirtually. If I just let God lead me in all areas, I will be okay. I know that probaly went over someone\’s head, but I got it.

I finally realized what someone had been telling me all along. When your desire is different, you look at things in a different light. People don\’t understand it, they don\’t get it. And thats okay too. But its time for me to move on. Dr. Marvin Sapp said today in service: Why am I the only one in the same camp with a different * Spirit*. In other words he said: Who are you hooked up with? He said ask yourself that question daily. Today I did. And I was like…………… Wow.

Right now in my life God has me on this one thing, and thats to stop trying to prove something, to stop always trying to get the last word, to stop pushing people to the limit in any conversation. It is what it is, whatever it is. So, yesterday I was on day 2, * Lord help me ( smile)* and I called my brother to ask him for a few dollars. He told me that he didnt have it, we talked for a mintue and then hung up. Now normally he would offer me less than the amount Im asking for. So instead of me asking for that, I took it as * face value*. He said No, he didnt have it and that was the end of that. Later on, he came over * hehehehe *. He walked into my home office and looked at me and started explaining why he couldnt give it to me. I know he only came over to read me, see my facial expression, and body language. He knows me like the back of my hand, he wanted to know why Im not asking him a million questions about that money. Now normally …yeah I wanna why you cant give me a *FEW FUNKY DOLLARS* and you bring home $1000.00 a week* lol. But this time, I wanted his yes to mean yes and his no to mean no……..without an explanation to me. He\’s too, good to me for me to question him why. Its not about that.

I sat while he talked and I listened, never said a word. So after so long he was like…….aint you go say something? I know you want too. Go head and say something, cause thats you. You always got something to say. I starting laughing. I said Bobby I just want to listen, you said no you don\’t have it, so that means no. So Im saying to myself……dang, do I really do that? Do I push people to their limit and * drive them crazy*? I must do. Am I asking or saying something to make people them have to explain or give in to something? What kind of signals do I send out? Only people who knows me well, knows that I don\’t mean any harm. But dang I do need to stop doing that to people. And I wanna stop. LOL We laughed of course, cause he knows it was killing me, but I let him do his talking and I listened.

But you know what I learned in * just listening* and not trying to talk? That its *more power* in just listening. People just want someone to listen to them sometimes. I don\’t understand why do I always have to explain to them the way I do things. So what I may know how to do it, so what I may have been through it, so what I have a degree in something, still people just want you to listen without adding * Lacrease to it*.

I notice another thing myself too, that if someone comes through my line and were having a conversation. They may say, my Birthday is Sunday, and this is the first Bd without my mom. And I will follow up on telling them about My friend who is going through the same thing. I REALIZED THAT I DO THAT, AND I NOW FEEL BAD . So, I said Lord why do I do that? Why did I take this lady\’s story and made it my own. I said I know in my heart it was not to *top her*. No, No. No. Im not trying to do that. Now, you know I\’m not that kind of person Lord. But why do I do that all the time? He said Lacrease: *Its because you have to always let people know in your own way, that they are not alone.* You love people, you want everyone to get in on something, you feel as if there are too many people in this world to be alone in anything. * I was blown away. Just outta here.

So, I got to thinking about different things and conversations that I have with others. If someone told me today, that I was going to look in the mail tomorrow and receive a check for 1 million dollars. After I thank God for it a hundred thousand times, somewhere in my mind for hours, I will sit here, and figure out a way to give away my money to any and everybody that *desire* the same thing. But see what I\’m yet to learn is *whats for Lacrease is for Lacrease*. Not whats for Lacrease is for THEM*. Of course naturally I will share my money, but thats not my point. I have to understand that this is MY *inheiritance* others may benefit from it, but I can\’t call up the sender and say…………Ummm why don\’t you send my other friends a cool million as well. LOL Wow, Lacrease you have a big heart, but baby you\’re so naive. Im learning. Im going to get this thing, even if it takes me another year. Im gone get it, Im gone get it!!!

A quick story. Never shared this story with anyone. But now it makes sense. A few years ago, me and 2 friends drove hours from Detroit, to New York to see Anita Baker at Rockafella Plaza. So happens we missed her. We were devasted. That very next year she had a concert here in Detroit. Me and my friend Alex * one of the 2 people who went to NY with me* drove together to the concert. He picked me up and we drove in his car. The other person who went to NY with us was at another concert this same day.

Now if you know me, you know that I love and appreciate the work of Gerald Levert, Anita Baker and Tyler Perry. Well, after the Anita Baker concert, me and some of our out of town Anita Baker friends were standing near the back stage area, when all of a sudden we saw the line moving and walked on back stage and got in to her meet and greet. Just so happens that my friend Alex was in the bathroom with our other friend from out of town , and they missed the chance to be with us. All while I was back th
ere just before meeting her, I was doing all I can do to get them back there. I knew how much it meant to Alex. I felt so bad that here we are about to meet Anita Baker face to face and just because he went to the bathroom he is missing this. I tried and tried and tried, until I told him over the phone that there was nothing I can do. They said that they would wait on us, and to have a good time.

I was so excited, this is what I have been waiting for since 1986. After the almost hour and half meet and greet with Anita Baker, we were walking back to our cars, keep in mind I rode with Alex, and the guy who was with Alex is also the person who was with the 4 ladies I was with back stage. We get outside and we realize that Alex and the guy is gone. Alex car was no where to be found, so happens that the ladies had the key to get in the car they drove in and thats how I got home. But Alex left me. Here I am 45 mintues away from home, and my ride left me. I was so angry with him, that had I saw him, I would have had enough strength to pick up his car up with him in it and throw it clear across 75. All the way home I kept saying to myself, why would you leave the person you bought to the concert? Why wouldnt you want to hear what we experienced? Why couldnt he just wait for me? I had 2 cars in my driveway. I could have drove my own car had I known he would do me like this. I kept thinking I knew he loved Anita Baker like I did, was he jealous or mad at me? I will never know the answer to that, but I do know that it was never in God\’s will for HIM to meet her on that day. And nothing I could have ever said or done would have changed that. It was already written that I would be the one who meets Anita Baker Saturday August 27, 2005 @ DTE Music Center. Not Alex or the other person who went to NY with me. That was my day.

He lives in Texas now, we still talk, but I know now why that happened. I get it now. My desire to meet Anita was stronger, and sometimes I can\’t say……. let me override what God wants for this person, cause it just feels right to natually do what I can to get this person on my desire sheet. It doesnt work that way. All of this is ran and controlled by God………NOT LACREASE!

As of August 17, 2008, I am releive from that duty! LOL That was a first hand example of that. Whats for Lacrease is for Lacrease. I understand now, thats why I\’m clashing with folks. My desire is stronger. From this day forward, Im not connected to anyone, Lacrease is doing her thang, God is going to work out my issues and I looking forward to it. I feel so free right now, and Im not giving up this postion for NOBODY!! Free Free Free!

Last night after the Olympics I turned on my On Demand and found me some great work out excercises. I did good too,. Today Im going to do some and try to get into a routine of working out. Im feeling great!!! So great. We are also getting another bonus at work Next month. This is our 3rd bonus this year. They are coming in every 3 months. Next month on my BD Sep 3, my plates expires. Yep, gotta go and take care of that. Lacrease can\’t drive around on dirty plates, her too scary for that. LOL Neisha moves back out next Tuesday for school. She has a double full schdule this semester. Im going to support my baby all I can, because this is her last year, she *says* the meat of her Bachelor Degree. So thats why its very very very important to stay right with God, because if Im out here slipping and tripping, then Im out of sync with God which brings unnecassary garbage in the home which causes Neisha to take notice of it and it causes unstablity in her life . And with all Im about to do * yeah me* and my plans and goals, we need to be focused on God, and stay prayed up. Its about to go down for real. So keep me in your prayers.

Micheal Phelps is on fiyah aint he? LOL I just loved that boy before I met seen him on TV. Im so proud of him, he said:\” All I want to do is see my mom\”. Wow wow wow.

Below is a song that I FINALLY FOUND on youtube. I have this CD of Phil Perry but it broke and I was so sad. Im so happy that I can hear it again. This song is so beautiful. Oh goodness there is not enough numbers to count how many times I would sit up and play this song over and over back when Neisha was a little gurl. Please listen to it and appreciate the lryics and the passion Phil puts into this song. You are going to love it. THIS IS MUSIC!!! Hear me with I say it.

Well, Im closing for now. Done enough yapping. Talk to you all later. God Bless You all!

Cree

Hey, I\’m back posting.

Thank you Lord for showing me…ME. Thank you for letting me see some things about myself that I needed to see. Thank you for forgiving me Lord when I\’m wrong. I don\’t mean any harm for the way I love people and want things to be right. Maybe I try to hard. Maybe I should listen more. Why Lord do I always have to explain something so deep till it really doesn\’t matter anyway? Why do I do that? I don\’t have any of these answers, but Lord, I do know this, all of what\’s happened this week, surely came to pass. And when the word was sent to me, I ignored it, didn\’t make sense to me, couldn\’t happen. Blew my mind, when it was bought to my remembrance. Well, it is written the message don\’t lie. I\’m sad, and hurt, but it is what it is, and what it is, is written.

For now…………. it is finished.

Last year I said to myself that I wanted to bless a kid with toys and goodies for Christmas. When we were growing up, we had the best Christmas any kids could have. By my parents making us share things, it was like we had everything. It is 4 of us, and there were a lot of toys under the tree. So this year, I\’m going to pray on this, and bless a child. I have no idea who, but this is what I have been wanting to do for the longest. So starting in Oct, I\’m going to start my Christmas shopping for my family and friends, and then come Dec, I will hope that God has found that child for me. It just kills me that people break into people homes during Christmas time and steal all of their presents, kids are left devastated by that. Can you imagine the parents having to tell the kids that someone broke in and stole their gives? Kids remember that when they are older, they never forget. That\’s devastation for them. I want to be a blessing to someone this year.

Now is the time to start buying winter coats and clothes. WE also have a clearance sale for summer items, clothes are $1.00 especially for kids, you know how they go through clothes. So just to let you all know Walmart has it going on right now. Stop in!

I\’m closing for now, gotta be to work in the morning. Talk to you later.

Lacrease

Thank you Lord for another day. Thank you for speaking to me just before work when you told me to *just listen* don\’t say much. Don\’t try to get the last word, don\’t *pull out your tools to fix anything*, just listen. Ive been paying attention more rather than talking. I\’m shaking my head right now, for something I would have missed today had Ive been doing it *my way*. The sad part about is, this has been going on all the time. God just needed ME to see it. I\’m going to say this… * the tools that I use to always fix things in my own life and in the life of others are put away, I\’m going to sit in the background sipping on my Dasani, watching it all go down.* Lacrease has left the building concerning that subject.

Bernie Mac passed away today at 50. I was kinda shocked when I read that this morning, then again, I had a feeling this time that he wasn\’t alright. I wish his mom had seen him make the world laugh, she would have been proud of him. Rest in Peace Bernie.

I\’m putting together somethings, and I hope to share them soon. Well, I\’m going to go do some research, and Ill be back tomorrow.

God Bless You All!!!

thatgurltheycallcree

Hey!

Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning. I had some crazy dreams this morning, but I do remember driving a truck that was mines. Thanks for telling me things in advance, if it wasn\’t for you doing it for me, I would be naive and in constant dark places. I just really want to Thank you. Lord, you know its on and popping now right? You know my heart and you know how I am? No more, it is released. I have turned it all over to you. I can\’t do it anymore. I won\’t do it anymore, and I especially don\’t feel like doing it anymore. Its a wrap. I have to get over this cold feeling I\’m feeling about this thing, but you already know when I\’m warm I\’m warm and when I\’m cold I\’m cold. Well, I\’m cold! LOL No turning around that\’s it.

Lord, I\’m now wondering did you grant me all the desires of this *thing* only because I really wanted it. I\’m wondering that now. Now that I\’m *letting it go*, cant wait * to see something*. Its going to really blow my mind, I can see it already. If something comes out differently than what I\’m thinking, that\’s so cool Lord. But I bet these legs wont be the first batter up again!!!

Talking to Neisha * Goodness I love her* made me realize tonight a lot of things about myself. And I\’m thinking in my head……….Lacrease are you slow? Are you slightly retarded? Of course I\’m making a bad joke about myself, but those thoughts came to my mind. One thing about a Virgo, you don\’t have to tell us nothing twice. WE get it. As far as I\’m concerned about whats going on it my head…… ITS A DONE DEAL. I CAN SHOW YOU BETTA THAN I CAN TELL YOU.

TODAY\’S DATE IS FRIDAY AUGUST 8, 2008!

thatgurltheycallcree

Lord thank you for another day. I don\’t know whats going to happen from day to day, but I do know at the end of the day, you have always kept me. And I thank you.

I have a gift where I can see things happening WITH PEOPLE ahead of time. I tell people to live right, be honest, and I tell them the right path to take. Don\’t nobody want to listen, they feel since its not happening now, they are *okay*, as soon as it happens they all want to talk and ask questions. Starting today August 5, NO MORE! FIND OUT ON YOUR OWN, DO THINGS YOUR OWN WAY. YOU DO YOU AND I WILL LEARN TO DO ME.

CREE

Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning. Thank you for all the lessons that youve shown me in the last few days. Thank you for blessing me. This post may be all over the place, because my mind is flowing like that right now. So keep up with me, if you can\’t…………. sorry. By the end of this blog hopefully you can take something with you and store it in your head for future use.

Back to work…..ugh. Same ole faces same ole thang. Why do we concern ourselves with issues that don\’t even concern us? I watched a coworker do that today, and I said to myself there is motivation behind what she\’s doing. But what? I say that because I have done the same thing a time or 2, so now I can ask myself why I am I doing this? I\’m home from Atlanta seeing myself in a different light, and still I ask myself…….what is it that I\’m suppose to be doing in life? I love working with teens and being a *second mom* to them. but there is something more. A friend of mine has a job waiting for me and still I\’m asking myself……..Lacrease is this something you really want to do? So I asked myself, what do you see yourself doing? Well, I like to plan and organize things. I love making phone calls to people, communicating, collecting information, research, writing, and things like that. Then I get this thought of managing a hotel working with people to * make things happen*. I want to work in a professional atmosphere with everyone on the same page. I desire to give tip top customer service. This has always meant a lot to me. I love kids and I will always mentor to them, and be there for them, but for some reason I can\’t see myself in that position of work right now. I have been feeling this way for a while now.

Ive been to Atlanta many times. About 17 years ago, I was there for a family reunion and fell in love. I was so geeked and so pumped about it, I went home told 2 of my closes friends, and within 2 months, me my cousin and my 2 friends were driving 13 hours to Atlanta to look for a job and a house to stay in. Me and my cousin got into a big argument, she stayed and I was ready to go. Of course we started back talking again, but she found an apartment and a job within that same week. She\’s still there to this day LIVING IT UP!!! Oh how I wish I had stayed. I wish I wasn\’t so touchy back then and stayed on track, I would be there as we speak. Neisha will be going to Law School next year and I am so thinking about going back to find me a place. I am tired of Detroit and all its problems. Not saying, that Atlanta is not that way. OH NO… I AM NOT THAT FOOLISH to think that. I told myself when I left, that if I got that same feeling I did 17 years ago, that I would consider it again, but this time the person I am will get the ball rolling. And I did get that feeling. I can see myself living there alone for some reason, but its okay. I see it so clearly. I feel it. I\’m going to be really thinking and doing my own research, and if things work out…..2010 its on!!!

When we were in ATL, of course Tyler\’s name came up plenty and many of times. I had to check myself one night when something happened * wont post on here for the life of me* and it really pissed me off. I mean it had me really thinking about somethings. I couldn\’t even sleep well when we went to bed. I stayed awake really thinking about some things they said to me. So, I said when I get home I\’m going to post on my yahoo page just what\’s on my mind about Tyler Perry.

First of all, yes I truly love and admire Tyler Perry very very much. I love the messages in his work, I love his motivation. I love many things about him. Yes, I do want to meet him someday. But let me make this clear. I\’m almost 41 years old, when I meet Tyler Perry, trust me I wont be running to him screaming and hollering, jumping on his back, nor will I run and jump on his hips kissing him, and scaring the poe man. That\’s not Lacrease. I\’m realizing that I must be very careful who I share my love and admiration for him with, because people don\’t know me, and they seem to take things the wrong way. So, I had to ask myself……Lacrease do you talk about him a little too much? What are you saying to make people think that you are * just one crazy sister for TP?* Only 2 people understand my love and admiration for Tyler and that\’s my Sister Pearl PT and Neisha. I never ever talk about marrying him, or being with him,having children or any of that crazy stuff, that\’s not even my connection I have with Tyler. People just really know how to run off with just a little bit. I\’m a supportive person when it comes to a project, idea,person or anything positive. Why do people have to associate anything else with that? It pisses me off to no end. So that\’s when I had to ask myself…. what am I putting out there to get those response? How do I present my admiration for Tyler to others? What a reality check I got in Atlanta.

We went to see the homes of a few celebrities and important people in Atlanta. Those stars have their gates and security people in place so tight, that if Jesus knocked on the door, he wouldn\’t be able to get in . I didn\’t know if I should shake my head in disbelief or say to myself, the only way to understand * this show* is to be *one of them*. I kept my mouth closed and kept it moving. I know its some crazy people out there, and I know and understand that everyone is not like Lacrease. l But its a shame when your house is so locked up and so way back in the boom docks and it has all kinds of notes and signs everywhere saying * No trespassing* but as soon as a concert, TV show, movie, game, CD, DVD comes out, they * trespass* on your commercials, Internet advertisements,talk shows, magazine pages, radio, TV. For the life of me, that\’s MATH I JUST DON\’T GET!!!! All I want to do is see your beautiful home from the outside, not sit up on your couch and eat your steaks. Yea, there are some things, Cree just don\’t understand. And this is surely one of them.

I realized that in this life I care about people toooooo much. don\’t get me wrong, I love everybody, and yes I\’m suppose too. But I get wrapped up on wanting people *to get* things. Its one thing to go through something and you get over that thing and minister to others, but some people just want to experience that same thing for themselves. I use to be mad at people like that, but you know what? I can\’t worry about that. I just have to sit back and watch it go down. No matter how bad it kills me. I just don\’t have nothing to say about anything.

I\’m gone.

Cree

I\’m home!!!

As you all know I went to Atlanta to be with my Sister Pearls 7 women whom I met from the Tyler Perry message board some 3 years ago. But only 6 of us were there. This was our 2ND year meeting. WE had a great time. I just wish that we had stayed longer. The people are so friendly there and so helpful. For some reason they understand and recognize that they live in a city that has many visitors. It was hot, but still that didn\’t keep us from going to see Evander Holyfield\’s home, TPS * Tyler Perry Studios*, Gladys Knight\’s restaurant Chicken and Waffles the food there is off the chain!!! We went to the Georgia Aquarium, and to the Martin Luther King Historical Site, we went to see where some of the riches black people live. Its amazing how far black folks have come. I wish Martin Luther King could see that. We fellowshipped at Creflo Dollar World Changers Church. His church is huge too. OMG!!! There are so many members and visitors that they had ushers in the bathroom ushering making sure everyone got in and out in a timely fashion. I LOVE THAT!! I never seen anything like it. They even have hand soap in the bathroom after you finish washing your hands.

We ate ate ate! LOL We had some good food while in Georgia. Those people know that they can cook!!! At Gladys Knight and Ron Winans restaurant, the waiter was so sweet, handsome, and so full of compassion we tipped him $30.00 NOT INCLUDING the 2 dollar something gratuity included. Awesome service.We took lots and lots of photos and video footage, but they are too big to post. Next year we are bringing it back to Detroit/Canada. Already I have the hotel we are staying in, but we just have to come up with 4 days in July. WE are excited and blessed for this friendship and sisterhood. This is rare and we know it. If you have some special friends in your life, treasure them, take care of them and make sure you make it your business to get together at least once a year. God Bless.

Cree

Hey!

Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning and starting me on my busy day!!! I slept like a Princess last night. I was freezing too. I was under the covers and still freezing. But here in Michigan if you turn your air off for one hour, you will BLAZE! So I left that baby on, and called it a night. LOL

Today I\’m thinking about children. That\’s probably why I posted those funny videos of them last night.

When Neisha was a little gurl, she use to ask me a million questions every single day. I can imagine how many times I told her * gurl if you don\’t stop asking me questions!*.

But you know what I learned? Those are the learning years. The years where they are learning what, who, where. They need to ask those questions in order to know the things they need to know in life. I know the questions come in at a time when mommy is busy, or daddy is tired, little brother is to busy, and sister is doing her own thing. But if you have small children and they ask a lot of questions just think forward to a time when you expect for them to know the answer to something, and take that time while they are small to tell them. When they are young, they are curious about how things work, how people function, how stuff goes. Everything starts at home. So, just have a little patience and talk with your child, allow them to ask questions, don\’t always say: you ask to many questions! Seed planting in your child starts young……….and with a whole lotta questions.

Cree

To Be Continued.