I’m very proud of myself….. I’ve been doing really good with my ANGER issues. I’m working so, so hard to just learn to fall back, and not speak a word, especially when its not important. I learned that my issue is not having an attitude in the morning, or when I walk into a room… mine come in on STUPID ISH. For example. I was driving the other night from a movie, and there was a Detroit Tigers game that had just let out, and while WE had the GREEN light, people were still walking across the street like THEY HAD THE RIGHT AWAY. Okay, so I’m cool with it, then after while, people just kept on coming and “we” who had the right away….. was like okay nah…. we about to start driving… it is a green light for us. As I’m inching in letting the people know… this light is not going to stay green forever, I’m about to start driving.. this white dude… staring at me like… “YOU BETTA NOT HIT ME”… Lawd…. why did I have to see that look on his face? AND ITS MY TURN TO DRIVE THROUGH THE GREEN LIGHT!!!! I just started praying, I was about to lay on the horn for 30 minutes… LOL I just let God talk me out of it. This is the kinds of things I go through with being Angry. I NEVER fall out with family or friends… never have attitudes, never act funny to people… its other people and their ignorance that sends me over the top. But I’ve been doing good for the last 2 weeks or so. Trying not to have “ANGER stories to tell”. Trying to get up to ZERO STORIES.
I was sitting up thinking about how if we had Facebook back in the day when I was in my 20’s…. what would MY stats be? LOL LOL LOL Baaaaaby… it would probably read…”Had a party last night at my house, and when the morning came, my sister friend was laying in the drive way sleep”. ” One of my boos was ova, he wasn’t talking about nothing, so when the phone rang and it was my other boo, I pretended to have a headache and made home boy leave.” LOL On my way to Watts Club Mozambique *male dancers* to see my baby Ace Lee” “Got my gurls ova, we bout to talk ish over spades and down 1800, absolute, and Henny”. ” Walked up in the club looking good, banging body, hair laid, and all the men looking at me.” LOL Thank God, we didn’t have that mess, I can save some of my drama and foolishness LOL LOL for the world to see. HAHAHAHAHA… those kids can have it… I only use it to uplift. I think that’s why I can relate to so many people, is because I know and remember the person I use to be, and so when I see young people behaving the same way…. I don’t JUDGE them. I try to help them. I have a lot of young gurls from my old job, and they listens to me. They have to have their day where they’re foolish, so when I speak to them I try to let them see another light of it. The sooner you come out of your foolishness, the sooner you can get on with God’s plan for your life.
I watched about 4 Secret Millionaire episodes this past week, and they were so good….. had me crying like a baby. If I ever got rich or have a husband who is, I’m going to spend his money giving it away. I will volunteer for the rest of my life to helping teens, women, and the elderly. So many of our young people need help. One day I had group meetings with students at work, and I was so shocked to hear how many kids who have foster parents. Even the grandmothers are either dead, or can’t be there for them. I think a lot of people from my generation were on drugs, and sexually abused. It was so many rapes going on in my days of being a teen, and some of these women never recovered. Everything is a dang ole secret now a days… PISSES ME OFF. I HATE SECRETS. HATE THEM WITH A PASSION. These grandmothers raising their grand kids with all this LOVE, they should have shown their daughters when they were growing up. Now the daughter lost her way, and the grandmother is not telling the whole story to anyone or the grand kids about why her daughter cant MENTALLY raise her own kids. The daughter has been raped, molested, exposed to drugs, didn’t have a father at home, was left to find food for her siblings…. all kinds of stuff. I’ve seen it first hand… and after all these years.. it angers me to know this story about my friend. Anyway…. let me get off this subject.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy