Back to Eden

Today was a better day.

 

  

My mind is starting to clear out. I worked today for a while by myself, and that worked for me. I try to mean well in everything. I love to be upfront and easy to talk with. I found out, that when I don’t have control of something, I lose it. Let my Sisters tell it….. I’m something else. Each day… I’m learning something NEW. OuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOuOu ( as Neisha say)

 

 

Over the weekend our store manager got demoted and sent to another store to avoid humiliation. I feel bad for him. When I first started there, I was told that our store was the worst store to work in as far as customers. In my mind I was like….. I can handle these people. Baaaaaaby when I got there, it was something else. But you know, I learned a lot from working with the public. How to deal with different personalities, on the spot issues, behaviours, people with disabilities, doe doe birds, all types of people. We see all kinds, and I like that. I’m definitely looking forward to my next assignment. I use to get attached to my jobs, and people, but I can move on from them both  Praise God.

 

 

I lost a total of 9 lbs yeaaaaaa meeee!!! If only I can stay consistant! For me its water, and working out. Water, water , water. Well, Im about to take a nice bath, and think!! Its a good thing my thoughts, are my thoughts, and they are LOCKED IN MY HEAD! 

Good Night!

 

I use to wake up every morning and read this. I kept it at my bedside. I read it Faithfully. I printed it out again , and Im going to start back reading it. This is one of my favorite Scriptures.

 

 

Psalm 121 (New International Version)

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
       where does my help come from?

 2 My help comes from the LORD,
       the Maker of heaven and earth.

 3 He will not let your foot slip—
       he who watches over you will not slumber;

 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
       will neither slumber nor sleep.

 5 The LORD watches over you—
       the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

 6 the sun will not harm you by day,
       nor the moon by night.

 7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
       he will watch over your life;

 8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
       both now and forevermore.

 

 

 

 

He always talk to me…..

Today was a very good day!! I have to Thank God for that. I’m telling you, he keeps on Blessing me, and Blessing me. He is all up in my mix. I can tell when he wants to comfort me, cause he stays on my mind. He knows something is heavy on my heart, I dunno if he’s testing US on it, but this is really hard. I know one thing, he won’t let my hand go. No matter how I want to handle things my own way, he always talk to me, and talk to me, and talk to me, until I “get it” his way. I just don’t get the part where he tells me something thats A REALLY BIG DEAL, and I can’t even speak a word on it. I mean its like……….. getting to me. LOL I’m just going to trust him as I always do, and leave it alone.

 

 

I tell people all the time, its real important that you keep your head clear so that you can hear from God. Everyday it’s getting bad out here, and when we consume our thoughts with bills, gossip, issues that we have no control over, and many other things, our mind becomes cloudy. It drowns out what God wants to say to us. I never knew how important it is to keep our mind stayed on Jesus  IN A WORLD LIKE THIS… its possible. When I feel myself getting down, I’ll sing songs in my mind, and clap ( clapping makes me feel  good).

 

 

Today as I was about to do some shopping after my shift was over, my coworker walked up to me, and said …LaCrease, do you have $2.00. I didn’t at all. I didn’t have a dime to my name on me. I told her no, we talked for a minute and she went into the bathroom. As I was about to walk away with my cart, God said…. LaCrease go into the bathroom and ask her if she need some food or anything. I went ( made sure no one was in there) and asked her, hey…….. did you need me to buy you something? I told her I didn’t have any money, but I did have my Credit Card. She said…. I’m on lunch and I wanted to get something to eat. See, that kinda stuff makes me cry. I HATE to see people hungary. I hate it!!! I was so happy that I KEPT MY MIND CLEAR so that I could hear from God. I would have missed an opportunity to bless her. I told her to get anything she wanted. I remember a time when money was always low for me. I didn’t want to sacrifice anything, I use to be so selfish. Always wanted things to go my way. Always thinking about Lacrease. My friend use to tell me how selfish I was, I didn’t agree. Looking back on those days, I don’t see how she even wanted to be my friend. LOL I knew all her check days, food stamp days, child support days.  I had all of them checked off in my calendar. One day she asked me if I had a calendar (LOL) and I told her to look in my purse, why when she opened the Calendar she was SO SHOCKED to see all her pay days checked off with her name on it from Jan-Dec!!! She was so shocked !!!! LOL She said that’s why you always know when I have some money. LOL I didn’t want her to see that, but see I would ask her for money in case she tried to ask me first. Aint that selfish? Thank you Lord for taking selfishness out of me. Thank you.

 

 

I was talking with a co-worker on Monday and I was telling her this year I plan to do the “Cree’s Feeding the Homeless for Thanksgiving Dinner” a little different. I’m planning to feed 75 people, but when it comes to the donations, I’m going to put those donors names in a bag, and the day before Thanksgiving, I’m going to pull at least 6 names ( depending on the amount of ppl donate) and give them gifts. God told me to get started now on the gifts. He knows that I want to give good gifts. I’m not a dollar store shopping gurl, and so my gifts won’t be “dolla sto ish”. LOL I believe that if you give good gifts, you’ll get good gifts. To me that shows your Character. Your gifts show just want kinda person you are, and what you EXPECT. I’m kinda excited about this. Only thing, if I’m in Atlanta, I’m not sure how I will do it. Either way….. I’m excited about it.

 

 

I minister to a lot of people, and I find that a lot of people talk to me because I’m straight up with them. I don’t Judge them, or look down on them. I do ask that if they’re going to tell me a story to tell the whole thing, because I can always tell when something is being left out. I didn’t realize how much Fear paralyze people. People have let what they’ve done in the past, supervise and plant manage their future. We’ve got to ask God reach in and take the Fear out of our minds and hearts. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

 

I believe that Fear kicks in FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE, when they hear NO,   NOT YET,  LATER, or MAYBE. If they hear No, they feel that they have to go with another plan. People  will sit and be hungary, just because they are scared to ask because they may hear… No. Whether is No, you can’t have it, or even No, I don’t have it. People have Fear of their past. The things they’ve done, and they’re afraid of others finding out. They have Fear of  friendships because they’re scared they’re going to end up hurt. And this is another reason why you can’t gossip and constantly have your mouth on someone else’s situation……….because you Fear you could end up that same way. There are so many different corners of a person, and just getting to know someone can set up Fear in your heart. Sometimes we have to take chances. Once you allow someone into that space, it always turns out to be okay. Don’t hold yourself up because of Fear. And yes, I’m talking to myself as well. I have Fears and doubts too.  I’m Fearful to pray in front of others, I’m scared I might say something stupid. LOL ( I can laugh at myself). I am veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Fearful of that. I sit and try to imagine myself praying. For example: I may need to pray before we start my gurls group, I’m scared I may say this: Father God in the name of Jesus, Lord Thank you for our meeting this evening, and Thank you for traveling mercies to and fro, and then I FEAR I may say……. Lord, Thank you for letting me make it to work on time, and for not forgetting, to take  the pork chops out this morning. Stuff like that. LOL I will just zone all the way out, and I am soooooo FEARFUL of praying in front of  NEW PEOPLE . If, I’m at dinner and I’m asked to pray. I will start shaking….. probaly would fake sick, and ask to leave. LOL Im serious. My stomach start flipping and doing jumps. I can’t take it. But let somebody talk about God….. I’m all in. I make friends with strangers just to join in on the conversation. Yall aint bout to talk about my daddy and I’m not in it. LOL Just don’t ask me to Pray. LOL  But yes, Fear will paralyze you. We have got to ask God to take that out of us, in the name of Jesus.

 

 

In closing, Thank you Lord for Wisdom. Thank you for talking to me late night this week, cause you know,  YOU know, YOU know…… I’m on the edge. LOL You know how I am, you know Lord, and I Thank you for being in control. If you leave me for one minute….. I’ll mess things up. You did it for me, and I have to be patient.  Just hold my hand, please don’t let me go. Remind me of Scriptures to keep me up. Keep me busy Lord. Thank you.

 

La’Crease

 

 

Proverbs 3:1-4 (New International Version)

Proverbs 3

Further Benefits of Wisdom

 1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
       but keep my commands in your heart, 2 for they will prolong your life many years
       and bring you prosperity. 3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
       bind them around your neck,
       write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name
       in the sight of God and man.

 

Gesssssssh!

 

I was thinking earlier ( probably over analyzing) about my friendships. Sometimes I think that Im misunderstood. I like to do my own thang. A few of my friends feel that if I don’t call them in a few days, that Im mad at them. Im diffferent. I can go days and weeks without calling, that doesnt mean Im mad. And why do I have to do the calling first, or all the time.  Im not a clingy person, its okay if we don’t talk daily.

 

When you are friends, you are suppose to be able to leave off on one conversation, and pick it up the VERY next time you speak………… so what if its days or weeks later. I get so many phone calls and voice messages asking why didnt you email me back, and why don’t you call me back when I called. First of all, if you know me well, you know Im not a phone person. My hands need to be free so that I can do other things, and then people get mad when Im doing 2-3 different thngs at one time. Like Im suppose to stop what I’m doing, while they talk up 3 hours of my day. Respect how I feel about the phone, say what you gotta say and lets be done.

a “clogged” mind

Lord, Thank you for the wonderful people who you placed in my life. People who Ministers to me and show me Scriptures of your word. Today was truly a day that I needed them. Mentality, I was checking out temporary. So many things coming at me… and my over analyzing wasnt helping at all. My mind is all over the place again, and when it gets that way, I can’t hear from God, and when I can’t hear from him…………that’s bad. He’s my lifeline. I went to bed in tears last night because I needed a word and I knew with a “clogged” mind, it wasnt happening.

 

 

I woke up this morning, feeling good, hoping today would be  better . Just to break down in the middle of the day. When I don’t understand something, I get this way. God knows that I HATE to feel like this. Its like I want him to stop what he’s doing, and talk to me 911. I don’t get like this all the time, only when I really need to know why certain things are happening. I feel as though I’m in the dark.

 

 

Thank you Jesus! I love you.

LaCrease

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