Fingerpointing You………………………Crees Blog Entry

As I sit here  thinking about the post I wrote about Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union.. it takes me back to my own personal relationships about cheating, and lies. The questions I had.

Every man I’ve ever given a second chance to… he cheated again. Sad thing about that.. these men are with different women now, some married and they’re still cheating. Now, there are some faithful men out there that love their wives dearly. And if they’re cheating, as long as his wife doesn’t detect it….. he’s not cheating. LOL I just wish that I could understand the thought process of a man before he thinks about doing it. What options does he weigh, what thoughts goes through his mind concerning her finding out? What would he say to her? What would be his reason that he tells her? Does he sees himself losing everything, or is that even a thought to him? Does he think about his family, or her feelings? What desire goes through his mind when he decide that its what he’s going to do anyway. What thought or feeling goes though his mind once the sexual act is over. And what drives him to do it again and again. Does he feel a sexual disconnection to his mate?

For a long time, I can remember calling over my friends every weekend just to drink and have a pity party. We dogged men coming and going. I use to date my daughters teacher when she was in preschool. Then when I started working there the following year, I found out that he was dating the teachers and the parents. * throws hands up… eyes closed* And didn’t I get into an argument with one of the ladies at the school, almost lost my job over this man? I cut dissed him ON SPOT. I made sure I went to work looking good everyday. I made him “SEXUALLY SICK” when ever he saw me. He couldn’t even function with me around. I had his mind gone. I can’t go for that type of behavior anymore. I LOVE ME. He knew he couldn’t tie my shoe if it was coming loose.

But you know…… I had to put away childish things. I couldn’t go on being angry with men because I chose cheaters. I realized that I was drawing these types of men to me. I had to change the way I looked at my relationships. I had to say NO… to the ones who didn’t fit into what I was looking for. So many times I got into relationships “just because they liked me”. These days….. I chose friendships and relationships wisely. They must have a relationship with God, they must be a person who goes to God before any family member and a friend.

Here is a song that I use to listen to when I was going through those relationships…. I love the words.. so honest and to the point.