So….. tonight I’m just rambling. Thinking about triggered things before I lay down to sleep.
There’s this gurl who lives in my building, she has to be about 28 ( a “kid” to me.. my daughter’s that age). Very nice pleasant. She always smiles and speak and also have a bubbly personality like I do. Every time I see her, she’s always chatting with someone in a good mood.
This one night maybe about 1 in the morning. I went downstairs to the lobby to talk to security about the dog next door to me and its barking. He told me that the new neighbor will be in shortly from work and that she’s very understanding and friendly. When she came in, we talked. She told me that her dog will be leaving in the morning to live with a friend because she’s gotten complaints from the front office about him. That was cool. We stayed in the lobby and chatted with security for about an hour plus just the 3 of us…..
HOMEGURL * the nice friendly one* WALTZ in staring at me… like I stole her dayum lunch money. At the same time walking towards HIM… but staring at me REAL MEAN. So, I’m saying to myself…. gurlyougotmemessedup….. we’ll tear this lobby up tonight! I never in my life had a fight…. but the way she was looking at me…. I had to turn my head, then look back at her to see if she was looking at me. Now, I usually laugh at women like that. But when she walked in, she changed the WHOLE ATMOSPHERE. She didn’t say Hi… or nothing. She came in and posted her no-shaped body….right next to him. He’s a nice guy, he was looking like… “gurl what’s your problem?” He’s a Virgo too… so I know he checked her real good when we left. Anyway…. she never spoke. Me and my neighbor.. caught the elevator to our apartments and dueced out!!! LOL
Last week… didn’t I see that… NO BOOTY HAVING SPONGE BOB SHAPED gurl in the lobby talking to HIM? Keep in mind.. he’s been working here almost a year.. and before that night…. I NEVER KNEW HIS NAME. I speak to everyone, smile.. and keep it moving. Now, I’m walking up to building looking at the security counter before I walk in. I could see them. So, I said to myself.. she always speak and make conversation with me, and I don’t like to jump to conclusions about a person. So, if she speaks to me.. Okay… maybe that was ME the other night “feeling some kinda way”. I said now, if she throws me shade… it was her all the time, and that means she likes the security guy and feels some kinda way about me. I walks in.. looking cute… and says “Hey…. how yall doing?” She’s looking down at her phone… LOOKING REAL MEAN * LOL*.. He’s looking at me, and we speak at the same time. I looks at her… as I’m walking to the elevators.. She took a looooooong pause and FINALLY said “hi”. It was so low, and dry. LOL She never looked up at me… totally out of character for her. I don’t even know this child’s name.
MY point is….women STOP IT. STOP! Why must we do this to each other? What is the point? Some women are so territorial about these men. And for what? Now, I have to be on guard when I see her again, instead of looking forward to a funny and friendly conversation with her in passing. I’m also a friendly person. I speak to everyone, never have an attitude. I don’t see how women can devote time and energy into other women with this MESS. Its so petty and time consuming. Grow up!
I look forward to having my Sisters Only Gathering. I have a lot to say.
I guess I’ve been in a writing mood lately.
Just sitting here thinking . I hate when men think they know me just because I show myself “friendly” smile with them and laugh. Maybe buy them water, or a fruit or something, (((because of the weather or just being nice))) then I keep it moving. Women these days have made it so easy for a man to come along and tell them anything. So when they meet me…. they feel its the same way. They feel that I’m giving them a hard time when I don’t show interest just because I bought them something. This is how I am. You can’t make me laugh, tell me how many properties you have, and where you work to make me do flips over you. The more I make it clear that I DON’T WANT TO MARRY YOU, I DON’T SEE YOU IN A SEXUAL WAY, I DON’T WANT ANYMORE KIDS, and I DON’T SEE YOU THAT WAY…. the more they feel that they have to try harder. It becomes a challenge to some men. They come up with different “tricks” and conversation to try their best to get you on the page that they’re on. Just let me be friendly. I don’t want anything from you. All it does it turn me off. And when La’Crease Walker gets turned off….. I will NO LONGER look at you with that smile in my eyes. And to be honest, most likely… I’ll be praying not to IGNORE you. Just fall back.
I’ve learned in the past about myself is that when I gave my body to men, they had the POWER. Not in a bad way, but I became submissive, and I don’t want to be that way with just a boyfriend.. I want to be that way with my HUSBAND. I have so much POWER when I don’t give my body to a man. Set the conversations and the atmosphere SISTERS. No man have POWER over my mind or my body as long as I say NO….
Women.. know your worth. Anytime a man whats your body…. there must be some GOOD to it. Put it on ice, save it, work on your mind and your life. A man can have any conversation with you, lie, be honest and lie again, but they haven’t gained NOT ONE SINGLE THING FROM YOU.
Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God. – Dr. Maya Angelou