Just wondering………………again!

I have this friend name (M) who has 4 gurls by this woman name ( S) they live together.  Been together since she was 14. The oldest is 18 and the baby is about 7. 
Moe has a whole nother family with several other women which is about 4 kids or more. I dont know if Shawn has seen his other kids, but she surely knows about them.
I was the one who introduced them to each other when she was about 14. She is 36 now. He is 40.
I love him, he is my baby. But I hate the fact that I am friends with them both and he is out there with familes all over the city. He is the coolest guy you could ever meet, but how do a man get caught up in a life like this?
Today I was talking to him on the phone, and I asked him, why do you still live with Shawn and  out there cheating on her like that with all these other women? I asked him why wont you set her free then you can go be with all those other women. I asked him why is it hard to choose? He didnt answer. He viewed my questions as I was trying to \”figure him\” out.  Or like I was \”trying to get inside the heads of men\”.
I love my friend, but dang dont it come a time in your life where you get tired of doing the same ole thang? Dont it come a time when you just confess your mess and try to make things right?
My friend M is selfish, and only thinking about himself. His kids dont know each other, the kids on the side dont know their grand parents, cousins, or aunts. That is so not fair to everyone involved.
MY questions is: Why havent S left him? What is it that keeps a her in HIS mess? Why is it hard for him to leave his home, especially if he wants to be else where? 
From this day on, I will try my best to live my life in a way pleasing to God. Because I want my name in the Book of Life~~ Lacrease

8 Replies to “Just wondering………………again!”

  1. Girl, this is DEEP! I think that sometimes people in these situation get scared to leave the thing that they have known for YEARS! People stay for that reason, and then it could be that they stay because of the kids (or at least that’s what they tell themselves) People do things that other people just won’t understand. I’ve been there and done that, did things that just didn’t make sense AFTER I did them. Maybe they think that things will get better, maybe they feel that they love the person that they are with and although they cheat, they can’t see leaving. Girl only GOD knows the real reasons why people do things that other people can’t explan, but what ever the reason, they must know that one day ALL THE THINGS THAT THEY ARE SCARED TO FACE, WILL COME OUT IN THE WASH!!! With that said, holla at cha sista later Crease – I love you big sister – Na


  2. I love you too boo. Being that Ive never been married, I can say that I truly dont understand. Im sure people wonder why Im not married or chose to stay single because there are men out there.

    So its this same as saying, that a person rather be in a situation like this, keep in going back and forth and out in hops that things get better? I beleive that these people cling on to what they cant see for themselves. That is not faith at all. Its a worldy situation. if they left the fear alone and stepped out on faith, they will eventually see things in a spiritual light.



  3. Thats a hard one because its him that needs to answer that, me myself I will never ever have kids in the world and they do not know each other or know there Grandparents, thats just wrong, I am a strong believer that what you do in the dark will come back in the light he should come clean and deal with it, and as far as you being a friend to both parties thats a sticky situation, I don’t know what to say about that.


  4. You have to let them know the truth or you are not being a friend, but someone who is just agreeing. You are doing just fine.


  5. You’re in an awkward situation. Me i’d probably stay away fro them a bit cause people that love each other make irrational actions and attitudes when people try to intervene in their relationship. even though…. It’s a tough call Crea…I don’t think you’re not being a friend by telling one or the other the truth about the other.


  6. I see all points. I am not that close to them as I use to be years and years ago ( at least 17). We keep in touch because we know the same people. But Im not a close close friend like that, to make me feel as though I can tell her. Its not like that at all.

    I am closer to him more so than her, but I see her more. Does this make sense? lol She loves him, and he needs her. I think thats more like it.



  7. Its Hard to let go. Sometimes people know that a situation is not right for them, but instead of letting go and moving on they stay because it has become what they “know” I can’t say I have been in the same situation, but I have been in a similar one. I was with my son’s father since age 16 and for years I knew he wasn’t right for me and that he wasn’t going to straighten up and fly right, but everytime I left I came back. It was not because I loved him so much or because he had something I couldn’t live without. I think it was more because it was what I was used to..we had a family, a life togehter and leaving him meant standing on my own two feet and doing it on my own. It meant realizing that I deserved more and that in order to live my life better and more happy I had to leave. And that was hard. Many people have a fear of starting over and a fear of being alone. I had both.



  8. Monayou are so right. And thats what I wanted him to confess with his own mouth. But he wouldnt. Shawn has a car and job, he dont have anything, so he has to keep his secret and secret. He would be the one really starting over, and thats something he wasnt going to be willing to do.

    I got you gurl. I so understand



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