Sharing Your Deepest Secret To Help Someone/BLOG

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I know a lot of people, and sometimes when they share life their lessons with me, I most times will share a similar story about what I’ve been though. Opening up about some of the things a person has went through can be painful. But its always helpful that the person you’re sharing them with can relate.

I remember a time when this young gurl came through my line when I was working as a cashier. She was pregnant, and when I  asked her when was her baby due, she told me that she was going to have an abortion soon. I was horrified! I was horrified because when my baby was just 3 months old, I found myself pregnant again at 19 with my second baby, and in my mind there was NO WAY EVER, I was going to have that baby. I told my first daughter father, and he told me that what ever I wanted to do he would support me. I didn’t  tell my family because I didn’t want them to talk me into having it, because I knew they would. In my mind I felt embarrassed, and I felt that I wouldn’t be able to take care and handle 2 kids. So, I had an abortion and never told ANYONE.

There I was in my early 40’s talking a young gurl out of having an abortion something I wouldn’t let anyone talk me out of. I told her that I felt the same way at her age.  I felt that I couldn’t take care of another baby and that it wasn’t even up for debate. But, she let me talk to her. I told her, look, you CAN take care of this baby, it seems as if you cant right now, but had I depended on God a little bit more, I would have my baby in my life . I told her that the person I am today.. I HATE that I had an abortion. Back then I didn’t know that I could make it, but now I know that I could have. I begged her to please have her baby, because I knew it would bring her joy the moment she laid eyes on her/him. I didn’t know what her final decision would be, but I know she heard and listened to me well.

One day I was having lunch in the Subway inside of the store. This young lady came up to me with a baby in the stroller and said with a huge smile, do you remember me? I looked at her and said, you look familiar, but I don’t. She said I’m the gurl you talked into having my baby, and here he is! I just burst out crying. I was so emotional. She said THANK YOU SO MUCH for talking me into having my baby, she said now every time I look at him, I feel bad for having that thought. She said he brings me joy and makes me happy,  said I don’t know what would I do without him. I was so happy and very emotional. I told her how hard it was for me to share my story with her, because I was ashamed for so many years, but I didn’t want her to turn out like me. To live with regret years later wondering what sex my baby was, how would he/she fit into my life today, and the biggest thing, KNOWING NOW, that I COULD have made it with God by my side. She said because of you, my baby is here. She was so happy and so grateful for that talk we had. She was a complete stranger. Wow, I wonder where they are today.

Sometimes we have to give up our deep buried secrets to help someone. I wanted to take my secret to the grave with me, but  God wouldn’t let me. What I went through I didn’t want her to experience. I was in my early 40’s, and had healed from it. I was at a place in my life where I could talk about it, and wanted to share it with someone to help them. Thank you Jesus! Thank you!

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Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

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Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

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Being the Oldest/BLOG

When I was growing up I use to ask God why do I have to be the oldest? Why didn’t I have a big sister or brother to lean on and talk too? Why do I have to look out for my siblings and set the example? Why do my parents always look to MEEEEEEEEEE to make sure they’re okay if they weren’t around ? I hated the responsibility of  looking after them. I just hated that as the oldest. HATED IT! UGH

Now that I’m 4 months away from being 50.. I SEE WHY GOD MADE ME THE OLDEST. Even though I’m opinionated. I realize that I’m wired differently. I have always looked at the bigger picture. I can see set backs, benefits, consequences, greatness, trouble… I see it all. Where my siblings may look at the NOW. Yes, even though we are all different, I see that my personality bring a balance to us as siblings.

While they call me BOSSY, I can sit back and not speak a word. Sometimes even as adults when we have debates and our parents tell us to SHUT THE HELL UP… I am the oldest and they DO listen to me. Still till this day.. Its just amazing how I can see why God made me the oldest.

If one sibling is mad at the other, they always want to know what I THINK. And some times, I’m like figure it out on your own, why do yall always want and need MY opinion? They say because I give good advice and  peacemaker of the family. While that is true, I’m leaning to cut back on my opinion. I’m learning that being quiet sometimes is best. Being the oldest and being quiet about something is when my siblings REALLY WORK IT OUT. Because they don’t know how I feel about the situation. ((LOL)) And I think they have a need to please me, especially when it comes to getting along. They know I don’t play that staying mad days and days. NO WAY!!! Not in this family. Not as me being the OLDEST. They know I will drive to their homes, and make them talk about it.

When it comes to the family functions which we have quite often.. I’m usually the one along with my baby sister who does the planning. My middle siblings just bring what we ask. Its funny because it has always been like that. My baby sister is always on the page with me. We plan everything. The middle two… just play along. LOL

What’s funny is, if we’re planning a function and I have to work, OMG they’ll have a fit! They act like they cannot function without me being there. My mom will call me, my dad, nieces, siblings wanting to know why I cant come.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. GOD HANDPICKED THEM JUST FOR ME!! I am the oldest and I get it now! Thank you Jesus.

LaCrease

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My Second Oldest Sister

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My Brother

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My baby Sister

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I AM LaCrease, and I don’t have to do anything else!

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Being a Christian is hard!!! Crees Blog Entry

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Growing up my parents were split when it came to voicing our opinion. My dad allowed it, but my mom didn’t. As long as we kept our voice in check, not hollering or talking loud, he would listen. With my mom, whatever she said WENT… that’s how it was. LOL Thinking about it now, this is why me and my siblings are very opinionated because for one, we weren’t allowed to fight, and for two, we could express how we felt. So now that we’re all grown….. we ALL have a hard time learning to control what comes out of our mouths. None of us will curse you out…. but we’d keep going until WE feel our point has been made.
 
 
Which brings me to this. Being a Christian is hard work. You have to always be in position to represent Christ. And yes its hard. You can’t say what you want to say. And if you do, as a Christian, you have to learn NOT to OFFEND… but to make sure you get the point across, so that they’ll get the message. No matter how much you smile, speak to people with a friendly tone, people will still try you. Thing is, you have to really work on keeping yourself together. Its one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn. Its very hard. Right now in my life, I don’t know if I’m just going through something and I feel a little more sensitive, or is it that I’ve ignore things that really should be put to an end. Side talking, smart mouth people, who have always been this way have really gotten it from me lately. I’m just not dealing with it anymore. It’s a SHAME how much I let get pass me, for the sake of “trying to stay friends/cool”. Makes me feel that friendships ended long time ago, and that I was the one holding it together by “salt coating” and changing the subject for the sake of arguing or having a debate. #donewiththat
 
 
With me coming to that conclusion….. I wonder sometimes if I’m a good person? Am I pleasing God? I wonder if I’m going to far, or if I over reacting. I’ve also notice how humble I can be. I have a habit of explaining something till there is nothing left. LOL I’ve been catching myself to say little as possible. People don’t need to know everything I KNOW. Most people don’t even care. Wow… the less I say.. the more people want to know. That’s funny.
 
 
Okay I’m rambling. I think too much. 
 
Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy