Higher Is Waiting Question 2/BLOG

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Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up or not caring. It means trusting and allowing things to be tended by God. When have you done this in your life? What happened?

When I moved back home from Atlanta.

I’ve been wanting to move there since I was 22 years old (( now 50)). I moved Sep 3, 2012 on my Birthday, NEVER telling anyone how much pain I was REALLY in concerning my leg and barely being able to walk. One day before moving to Atlanta, I woke up unable to walk from the pain in my left calf area. When I got there I went on a interview and barely made it up the flight of stairs. I knew then, that I would never be able to stand at a job for 8 hours. I knew that if I went back home, I could get well, and go back to my old job of 9 years, but I was determined to stay there and make it.  I was so depressed when I was there.  I knew it would get better, but when? I had been waiting my whole life to move there, only to get there and not be able to walk.

At this point, I had made up in my mind that I was going back home to Detroit. So, one day I went on line looking for apartments, when I came across this one  Downtown. I thought, I could never live there. I always wanted to live Downtown Detroit, but knew the rent was too high. But this one kept standing out to me, KNOWING I COULDN’T AFFORD IT!!! That’s when I heard God say, YOU WILL LIVE THERE! I knew it was him speaking because I know his voice, I wouldn’t TELL MYSELF THIS.  Simply because I already came to MY OWN CONCLUSION that I couldn’t afford it. I immediately made an appointment to see it, while I was still in Atlanta. I had money, but I didn’t have the strength to stay while in so much pain.

I drove home from Atlanta and had to move in with my daughter, which killed me as a MOTHER because I wanted her to enjoy her new place. But she welcomed me, and saw how much pain I was in. When I say she nursed me back to health, mentality and Spiritually….. She did that! Not only that, but her DOWNTOWN apartment was around the corner from the one I made an appointment with. Never knew that when God told me I would move there.

The day after I made it back to Detroit, I went to see the apartment and I HATED IT. Told God I will NEVER EVER MOVE THERE!!!!!! EVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! I hated everything about it. Only 1 of the 3 elevators were working. There were ” Under Construction” notices everywhere. The atmosphere was terrible. The apartment that I saw was nice, but it needed upgrading, it was not enough for me to move in. I did LOVE how they kept the grounds up. I loved the Downtown location, but I hated all the construction going on. I just couldn’t see the vision.

I went back to my daughter’s apartment and told her how I hated it and that I was DONE!!! Told her, I would NEVER EVER move over there. I was done with everything. I couldn’t walk, didn’t want to go back to my job of 9 years. I was DONE!!!! Then I caught a bad cold,  I was depressed and even got into the worst argument with my brother in all of our life. I cried everyday, all day, the moment my daughter left out for work. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. I cried so much that I told God that if he gave me until a certain date (( cant remember it )) that I would stop, just allow me to keep crying. That day came… and I gave everything to GOD. Total Surrender!!

A few months later, my daughter was working to help a young lady find a apartment, without remembering the building I went to when I first came home, she told me she went to see one. I remember saying to her, “THAT’S THE SAME APARTMENT I LOOKED AT”. She said momma its nice over there, they’re doing repairs and the apartments are nice. She went on and on about how they looked.  The way she talked about this building made me want to see it again for myself. So, it made me wonder if I was just depressed and down at that time that I was over looking the potential of the building.

The very next day I made an appointment to see it again. I fell in LOVE. I don’t know how I over looked how well the building would look as it came together with the repairs. It was like I had a new set of eyes. I applied that same day! The lady called me 3 days later and told me to come and pick up my keys that was Dec of 2012. God told me that I would move there, and today I’ve been here for almost 5 years. Shortly after, I moved my parents DIRECTLY AROUND the corner. I stayed in my original apartment for 2 years, then they told me that when my lease was up that I could move into a BRAND NEW APARTMENT.

My APARTMENT IS BRAND NEW! ALL NEW EVERYTHING!!! I’M THE FIRST PERSON TO LIVE HERE WITH THIS UPGRADE. God told me that I would live here, even when I said NEVER and never thought about it again. When I gave up the control and trusted God that’s when I Surrendered. I’ve been at PEACE and happy ever since!!! I LOVE not only my apartment… but my DOWNTOWN LIVING! It happened just as God said it would. Thank you Lord! You gave me my hearts desire, forgetting that I prayed to live Downtown a long time ago. Thank you!

Questions Taken Out Of Tyler Perry’s New Book – Higher Is Waiting

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Thinking Out Loud/BLOG

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Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, and things aren’t going well, its so easy to point the finger at the other person to find fault with them. But I challenge you to get in a quiet place and ask God to reveal the things that are YOUR fault.

The things that you allow in a relationship cause for the person to react to that choice. What is YOUR role in a failed relationship?

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Learn From My Words/BLOG

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Being a writer… you have to be careful of how you word things…

My Momma always told me, that my mouth was going to get me in trouble someday

Sometimes I come off too strong and offend others

I NEVER EVER EVER curse people out, but I can put together a def defying sentence

 

 

Only God can get me out of this one

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Virgo Women/BLOG

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One of my popular post here in my blog is the one I posted on VIRGO MEN. But I wanted to do something on VIRGO WOMEN and just so happens… I’m one MYSELF.

I’m going to give you a BALANCED post by sharing in each paragraph the beautiful and the ugly about us VIRGOS.

Virgo WOMEN……. are some CRAZY, FUN LOVING, LAUGHING, GOOD TIME HAVING, PEOPLE. We love to laugh and surround ourselves with loving people. At work, my coworkers say they can hear me laughing all over the building. I’ve always laughed loud, because it hits me in my mind first, then it carries out to my mouth. Virgo women are those that walk up in a gathering, and THEN THE PARTY STARTS!!!!

VIRGO WOMEN……..ARE VERY very very VERY territorial about our kids, family and friends. We don’t play when it comes to them at ALL. If my momma is not answering her phone. She knows I’m going to BLOW HER PHONE OUT OF HER PURSE. She knows this. She knows I’m that CRAZY child that will jump in my car, and be on my way to kick her door in. LOL  To make sure she’s not dead or cant get to her phone. She knows this about me. My dad the same way, don’t let me call him and he’s not answering his cellphone. They know I’m crazy like that, so she will let me know where she’s going ahead of time so I won’t worry, and I have all the places she goes on SPEED DIAL… and she knows if she doesn’t answer…. I’M ON MY WAY!!! My daughter the same way. We both have iPhones, when she’s out and about (( sometimes)) (( Me: rolls my eyes)) she’ll send me her location. Most times she’s with her boy friend so I’m good with that, because he’s good people and he KNOWS me and her dad DON’T PLAY when it comes to her. But one time we were suppose to go someplace and she wasn’t answering her phone early in the morning.. Baaaaby… I put my shoes on, jumped in my car and I was at her apartment in seconds (( she lives just around the corner from me)). I stuck my key in her door and she jumped up out of her sleep. She knew then, that momma don’t play and she betta answer the phone. LOL LOL This is why Virgo Women don’t mess with people’s kids, we stay in our lane. That’s because we don’t want anyone to mess with ours.

VIRGO WOMEN…..are LOYAL. We LOVE our friends. We will tell them the truth and not sugar coat anything. Over the years, I had to learn how to be truthful but at the same time, say it in a way that it won’t offend the person. Most people can handle the truth, but it has to be spoken in a gentle way, and sometimes when we want people to really get it, we can say things rough. But, we don’t mean that you are dumb or stupid, we ‘re just passionate about you getting what we are bringing to you.  We won’t stand for anyone to talk about our friends. We feel that if you have something negative to say about my friend, then go tell if to YOUR friends. We are not the people you bad mouth our friend to. We don’t play that. One thing about us tho, if we find out that you have been DISLOYAL all the time with us, using things we told you against us, USING us, talking behind our backs about us, WE WILL CUT YOU OFF LIKE A DEAD TREE IN THE GROUND!!! We won’t have ANYTHING to say to you ever. If you keep sending us emails, calling our phones and leaving messages and we don’t respond.. LET IT GO. We are done. It makes us madder and madder, please believe we are sitting back thinking of ways to chop your whole body up, and package it in a fingernail polish bottle to send to …….. you fill in the blank. But then of course, we feel bad, and ask God to forgive us for those  CRAZY thoughts and get back to our lives. We just want PEACE!

VIRGO WOMEN… Love to communicate. We have to make sure that we know exactly what is going on in order to do things correctly. I may ask you 100 questions, because I want to get things right. I want direct details. We are some investigators too. You can’t just tell a Virgo woman anything. We’ll get to the bottom of the truth no matter how long it takes. We know people in high places and we will use all of our resources. I remember I was dating this guy we were very close. One day I woke up in the middle of the night and had a feeling that he was out doing something he had no business doing. I jumped in my car about 3-4 in the morning and went to the areas I know he goes to all the time, and saw his car in the drive way of someone he had been with previously. We were done as a couple. But the point I’m making is, we will do our  homework based off what we are feeling and what we may know. It will KILL  a Virgo woman to not act upon her intuition. If Im new at a job and you are the person that comes to me and tell me everything about everyone in the building… Im side eyeing you FIRST. VIRGO women like to get to know people for ourselves. You cant tell us about other people. NOW.. WE WILL KEEP EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN OUR MINDS… WE TAKE MENTAL NOTES ON EVERYTHING….. because we may need it later. Because when we realize that person was right, we have all the first hand information stored in our minds, and we WILL DISCONNECT FROM THAT PERSON ON SITE!

Virgo women.. well some. Don’t like to go through people’s private things. I just can’t. Its about privacy to me. I was dating this therapist years ago, I met him because I use to clean his office building. When he was gone, I loved going up in his room and snooping through his drawers, desk and other things. I couldn’t wait to find something new, so that I could bring it up the next day. Boy was that ignorant and silly. I don’t care whats in his office, room, phone, home…. just as long as we’re good.. Im fine. NOW……. If some information come to me.. that’s when the VIRGO WOMAN HAS TO INVESTIGATE….. and trust meeeeeeeeeee.. WE INVESTIGATE LOL Imma leave this right there! LOL

VIRGO WOMEN… Work!!! I never complain at my job. I do my work and do it well. My bosses loves me and I love them. I don’t give them any lip, any talk back, I don’t disrespect them, or curse in front of them even if they are comfortable saying a curse word in front of me. When a VIRGO woman is not feeling it, she wont go to work and spread her irritated atmosphere, she will stay home and get herself together. We work hard!!! Once a VIRGO WOMAN know her job description, she will run the business like its hers. VIRGO WOMEN cant stand complaining, whinny people. It irritates our souls to hear about aches and pains when that person can be in bed. Virgo women hate complaints!!!! We cant stop whoa is me type of people. I tell people to BOSS UP!!! When we work with people who complain, it messes up the whole atmosphere. We cant stand tell a tells. We believe in going to the person  and having a smiley face talk with them, after that.. WE DON’T DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE. To a Virgo you are INVISIBLE…. NOT EVEN HERE., NOT EVEN BORN, NOT EVEN KNOWN. WE ARE DONE!

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Took Me Long Enough.. But I Got It!/BLOG

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As long as I can remember I was ALWAYS that little girl that felt that if me and my family was going to the park, why not ask if my friend Michelle could go. Not knowing that it was family day. Meaning that my parents only wanted our family to go, and that was it.

For the life of me, I couldn’t UNDERSTAND why my friend couldn’t go to join in on the fun. I thought…. all we were doing was going to the park to swing and play! That never made sense to me. As a child, I didn’t realize that parents have a reason for doing what they did. Maybe they didn’t have the extra money to buy her snacks, maybe they had just enough just for us. Maybe it wasn’t enough room for her in the car, because they were picking up groceries on the way home. Maybe, we were going out to dinner afterwards and there was only enough money for our family. No matter how my parents explained that to my little mind, I still couldn’t understand why my friend couldn’t go.

Which takes me into my ADULTHOOD.

I know, I know a lot of people, and that my personality is big. I get that about myself.  I remember this one time, me and my friend Gloria was going to the movies and out to dinner. I hung up with her after making our plans, to call a few OTHER friends and invite them to go with us. In MY mind, I felt…. Well, they wanted to see this same movie, why not invite them. So, when we got there, Gloria asked me….. who invited them? Even though she knew them, and liked them, she just wanted it to be HER AND I. I couldn’t understand that. In MY mind…. (( going back to that little gurl)) I felt that if we all wanted to see the SAME movie, why not invite them? I did that to my friend so many times that it saddens me to this day. It saddens me because I didn’t get it. I didn’t get the fact that everything is not for everyone. Its OK, if she only wanted to be with ME. She wasn’t being selfish, like I thought. Its a time for a few, and its a time for all. I couldn’t get that. 

Thinking back I DID that quite often. Not only that. But I trust people too easily. Again, growing up we lived in a house where if you laid something down, it was there when you went back to it. We were taught, if we go visit someone, and they have money or anything that DIDN’T BELONG to us, laying around.. DO NOT TOUCH IT! DON’T GO NEAR IT! So, when I was grown and moved out. I lived by those standards. But what I didn’t know was that not everyone was taught that. Man, I had so many things to learn that was taught differently in my home. I had a hard time adjusting to how things were in the world versus how I was raised. I feel like crying right now….. tears.

I got hurt so many times trusting people. Believing that everybody was good. Picking up strangers on the way to where I’m GOING… got side tracked several years. Sent me spinning. I should have been to where I was going.

My mentality WAS that if I’m going to the same place you’re going… “lets hop a cab and split it”..  ((( in my Andre 3000 voice.. John Legend -Green Light))) never knowing that it was okay to pay the whole fare BY MYSELF!  I don’t need to ride with you. And I’ll still be good!

I realize that where I’m going, everybody can’t go. Same for others, I can’t go everywhere with them either.  Even if we’re going the same way, you have to take your own car. You can’t ride with me, because just like my friend Gloria where ever I’m going they may just want it to be me and them. I learned that you can’t tell everybody everything, because in the pureness if me telling my story from my heart, my same story will be heard differently by someone else. I had to learn that too. But you know, that will NEVER happen to me again. What I know.. I know.. My friend is MY friend, Where God wants me to go.. I’m going alone.

I’ve lost too much time, messing around with people who don’t mean me any good.. And oh, I know how to fall back. I just didn’t know if I should.

That Chapter is OVER FOR ME….. I’M ready to RECEIVE LORD!

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God Told Me That I was Getting In The Way With My Foolishness PT 1/BLOG

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I was in my early 30’s when I was temporary SHUT DOWN ..by God.

Growing up we would have our water, lights and gas shut off and then turned back on, and I hated that. I said that when I “got grown” I’m going to make sure that I pay my bills off once it comes in the mail. And I made good on that promise. All my adult life, I hated to “pay” on a bill because it would catch up with the next month, and seem like it would be double. All my friends use to ask me why not just pay on it, but they didn’t know  the promise I made to myself and why once I was grown. Still till this day, I do NOT pay on my bill, I pay it off COMPLETELY.

One day, my car went down, I had to get a ride to work with my co-workers. Then right after that, we all lost our jobs due to selling of the plant we worked. So, that meant if I didn’t find work soon, my  home services would be cut off. Well, even though my cable was still on, my lights and gas went off because they were on the same electric company. Oh, I was DEVASTATED! I had NEVER in my adult life experienced all of my services being disconnected at the same time. It was cold outside and I couldn’t let my daughter stay in the house with me, so I took her to my parents house and let her stay over there until I heard from God.

I knew he wanted my attention. I have a relationship with him and I KNOW when he needs to speak to me. He knew how I paid my bills, he knew that if everything was turned off, that he would get my attention. He knew how to shut me down, and I KNEW he wanted to speak to me. I lost my job, so I got up in the daytime when it was warm to call around for job openings, and at night I would lay down to think and try to hear from him. My daughter missed her daily routine of how we did things at home and even though she enjoyed being with my parents, she started doing bad in school. I didn’t know it at the time, but I knew her behavior had changed and I didn’t like it one bit.

Nights turned into weeks, and still no word from God. I remember asking people who I knew could help me get my services turned back on, and they turned me down. I was SO MAD AT THEM. I remember writing it all down, so that I would never forget it. Weeks turned into a month and even though it was warming up outside, It was still cold at night, and I had not heard from God.  I wanted to hear from him to see what this was all about so that I could get back to my normal life. What was my normal life? Well, let me share.

There was a time  when it was all about me and my daughter, we would go to the movies weekly, go shopping, out to dinner all the time. Her dad took her to Disney World- Universal Studios- Island of Adventure, and I took her twice… yes a total of 3 times as a child. Her cousins would come over and spend the night, and she would go over to their house. By the time she was 13 years old, she had been to New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Chicago, Cincinnati, Florida…  several times with her dad. She loved to travel.

We slowed down going to the movies,  Church every Sunday,  dinner,  and doing things we were use to doing together. It was only her and I.  I was preoccupied doing other things. I started drinking all the time with my friends, having male friends come over at night when she was sleep, talking on the phone all day.  I was going out every single weekend, making sure I was looking good, going shopping EVERY FRIDAY I got paid…. I was something else. So, when my services were shut off, and I KNEW that paying bills was important to me, this was something bigger than paying bills. This is how God got my attention… I knew it….and I was listening.

Days and weeks went by, turned into a month and I was praying, crying, wondering, scared, thinking… I wanted to know what this was about. Why hasn’t God spoken to me yet? One night I went to my parents house to see my daughter and my dad had been playing the Michigan State Lottery since I was born. Every night when it came on at 7:32 pm… he wanted the house QUIET! NO TALKING. He wanted to see what numbers fell, read what he played, then we could talk. LOL Earlier in the day before I had even got there, I had been seeing this one number straight, like ALL DAY. Everywhere I went I saw this number. It was unreal to me. Well, that night in the lottery it came JUST AS I SAW IT. I got up from the family in TOTAL SHOCK and went into the kitchen alone to ask God why did that number come in the lottery? I said you know I don’t play the lottery, so why did it come? He said to me… I know you don’t play, that was to show you that I haven’t forgotten about you and I’m ready to speak.

I went home alone that night to a cold house, and even though he didn’t speak that night, he spoke the next day.

He said. ” La’Crease, the person that Nesha is going to be.. YOU ARE GETTING IN THE WAY WITH YOUR FOOLISHNESS”. I remember so clearly saying….  Who me? What I do?THIS IS ABOUT NESHA?. NESHA? NESHA?… my daughter? He said YESSS, you’re sleeping with men at night, talking on the phone all day and night, you don’t do anything with her anymore, you have totally neglected her, her grades have suffered. You spend all your time with these men and your friends. He said.. You are getting in the way of who she is going to be with YOUR FOOLISHNESS!!! I felt so bad.  I was so SHOCKED. People ask me how do you know that WAS GOD? I said would I TELL MYSELF THESE THINGS? WILL I SIT THERE AND HEAR MYSELF TELLING MYSELF THIS STUFF? WHO DOES THAT? NOBODY!!! This was not ME saying all this shocking stuff to myself. WHO OVER LOADS THEIR THOUGHTS WITH THEIR OWN SINS? These things were  furthest from my mind.

I started thinking about how true every word was. All I could say is God.. I hear you, I’m about to  change my life!!! He meant it, and it wasn’t talking about next week either… he meant NOW! I was so out done. I was done. I thought all that time he wanted to speak to me about ME, and blessings coming, and new place to live, new car, bills paid, husband.. all this other stuff. LOL LOL  LOL its so funny.. so so sooooo funny NOW.. What a naive person I was. One thang he made clear…… YOU BETTA CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND NOW!

I heard him LOUD AND CLEAR… he didn’t have to repeat himself. I got up that next day, made some phone calls and all my service was turned on in a few days. Help came from everywhere. I went and got my baby from my parents, that’s when I found out that she got F’s on her report card. I was mad a little, because my dad and daughter hid it from me. I promised myself that I would get all her grades up by next report card to A’s and B’s and that’s what I did. My car got fixed, and I got a job. I stopped talking on the phone all together. I HATE talking on the phone, if you know me, you know I hate it to this day! I’ll text, but I dont like talking on the phone and people respect that.

I cut off all my male friends sexually.. 18 years STRONG TODAY… yeaaa I know. But it’s worth it. I started spending all my time with my daughter and I was soo Thankful that God stopped Me from Me. I couldn’t wait to tell her what God had told me, she was waiting to hear it too. When I told her , she was just as shocked as I was. She was only 13 years old when this happened. All she kept saying is momma what am I going to be? I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t know the answer. All I knew was that she wanted to be a Lawyer. I knew that I had a special child. I knew that I had to stop all my foolishness. I knew that God had a plan for her life and I had to STEP ASIDE. I knew that God was serious and that he planned on using her, we just didn’t know how. I straighten all the way up, and its so funny now, she always tease me and say .. “Didn’t God whoop you over me?” LOL LOL WE LAUGH.. WE LAUGH.. WE LAUGH!!!!

Tomorrow, I will share where SHE is 18 years later.… GOD IS TRULY FAITHFUL!

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Love Story/BLOG

ALFINE

This Monday night I was watching Christmas Movies. I never watch them, or listen to the music…  I never could get into them. But I’m a new fan. I watched 2 of them, and it has gotten my juices flowing to write a LOVE STORY. I’ve always had one in me, but those movies inspired me to go in. Not sexual.. but to  explore LOVE exactly how I see it in my mind. I was always afraid of letting it go, and putting it on paper. When I started writing it, I thought of people I know in real life and it just started flowing. The visual is awesome. I have a long way to go, but getting started has got me so excited about it. I’m going in. If only it was real life… lee

 Just listened to Luther….  I’m going to write a little.. got me thinking.. 🙂

Be Blessed!