*Just talking to myself 3*

LOL I\’m back!!! As you all can see I have some extra time on my hands. I\’m posting back to back in one day.

I just got off the phone talking to my good friend *use to be bestfriend* Ms. Gloria for 5 hours. Yes, we had a whole lot to catch up on. Me and Ms. Gloria go way back, people use to say that we were partners in crime!!! That was long time ago. You know how things change, people grow, situations differ? Well, God told just before the change, that it was near an end of our friendship as we/others saw it. I knew and felt it happening, but I didn\’t want our friendship to end. Well something happened and I didn\’t have any control of it, and we parted for years. I laugh thinking about it, because God had told me wayyyyyy ahead of time, and I couldn\’t see no way possible that me and my gurl friendship was ending, and when it did…………………it was like WOW………… God? So tonight she called me and boy did we talk talk talk. Whew, how things has change, we had good conversations too. We have really grown up. Lord Jesus, know he bad!!! LOL I hate talking on the phone, but we both needed that and even tho our friendship will never be the same, if anything it will grow Spiritually, because that\’s where I am………and it seems she is too. God always kmows best.

I was suppose to go to another Wedding today. Whew Chile. I had a few dollars and want to save them for gas and nick knacks before pay day. I can\’t go to a wedding without giving, that\’s just ain\’t me. Back in the day, boooooooooy I would walk into a function ready to party, walk right pass the card box to the dance floor. Man, I was living foul back then. I always say look into the mirror and self examine yourself. Ask God what is it that you need to work on, so that you can become a better person to yourself, and to others.

Yesterday I was driving home from work on the freeway. I said Lord, I know that I\’m going to be rich one day, how I don\’t know. But please let it come when I\’m managing my money well. I know me I will give away all of my money, because I see so many people in need. If any of my family members call me at work and tell me that we are rich to quit my job right now. No doubt I\’m out!!! LOL I probably wont even finish ringing up the customer whose at my register. ROFL. All I would be able to see is my car keys and the time clock. My days of working will be over. I will be volunteering as soon as I get paid.

God knows I want to volunteer my time. People try to control you with money, and I cant be controlled by it, because it means NOTHING TO ME. So by me knowing that, I look to higher things, such as volunteering my time to people who need help. I love helping people especially the smallest ways. I\’m saying this right now in this blog entry. I will not be working for the rest of my life for MONEY, I will be doing everything for God! So many people need encouraging, people need for their business to be taken care of * simple calls to the phone company*. Teens need someone to love them, and talk to them. Even the people like doctors and nurses need people to cater to them. Yep, that\’s it. I want to cater to those kinds of people.

Two nights ago, I came home sat at my computer and cried cried cried. I couldn\’t stop. I kept thinking about the customers who come through my line. I had just just just got to work, when I turned on my at the register, this young white lady came through my line with her son. And as I always do, I say heeeeyyyyyy how you doing???. I try to make it personal, instead of the corporate, * HELLO HOW ARE YOU?* routine. I make all my customers feel as tho they know me. I ring up her things, and when I looked up at her to get her money, she was looking sad. I heard God loud and clear when he said…………ask her is everything alright? So, I said ma\’am is everything alright? She was digging in her purse like she knew she was short. She said no ma\’am, just bare with me, I\’m really having a bad day. So, I\’m like okay…………….what\’s wrong? She said, I went to pick up my son just before coming here, and my soon to be ex husband jump on me in front of my child * who looked to be about 3 or 4*. I said ahhh ma\’am I\’m so sorry to hear that, are you okay? She said yea. As she was digging in her purse, God said she don\’t have enough money. So I said maam don\’t worry about the .49 I got you!!!!!!! She thanked me and as she was about to leave, God said call her back and give her that $20.00 you just got off your debit card. I was like OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn\’t want anyone to see me doing that, because they wouldnt understand the whole story, also because she was just ready to go, I can tell. So I said maam come here, she came………. and said yes. I said dig in my right pocket and grab that money that\’s in there. *I didn\’t want to do it myself under a camera. She said NO NO NO, I said yessss, this is yours. And I looked at her with a mean face * just so that she wont try to talk me out of it*. LOL I said God Bless You. She burst out crying. I had tears in my eyes. I\’m so sensitive. Two of my coworkers ask me what had happened after she left. I didn\’t want to tell them, but I thought hopefully it will plant a seed in them so that they can bless others in ANYWAY they are moved too. This is serious. I think that everyone can do something to help someone.

When my daughter was just a young gurl, she would see me giving to people in need all the time. Now that she\’s 21, when we are out shopping or something, I ll turn around and be like dang, where Neisha go…………. LOL and here she comes walking up on me saying I gave that man/lady some money. She don\’t want to tell me cause she knows Imma bust out and start crying * for real*. That\’s just a real blessing. That tells me that she use to watch and pay attention to me, now she\’s blessing people when she\’s lead. I told her to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever stop giving!!!! When she was 9 or 10 years old , she called the Feed the Children line and they sent her out a pamplet. When I got the mail, I said NEISHA, how did these people get your name to be sending you something. She was sooooooo nervous. She said I saw the commerical and wanted to send the kids some money. I hugged her so tight. Ahhhhhh my baby.

Why are people prejudice? There are so many other issues that can be discussed right in their own homes, instead of wasting time on ignorant issues as that. As much as I am * ignorant* to believing that people have changed, its sad to say………..there are people who still don\’t get it. This customer came through my coworker line, and when Jennie said to her * ma\’am I need to see your ID with your credit card* so hands her the ID, and says * If I was white, you wouldn\’t ask me that*. My coworker being JENNIE, turns around to my register, and says. Lacrease she said that if I was white, I wouldn\’t have asked her for her license.*. The lady looked at me and
I said to her with a smile * her nieces and nephews are mixed. Her brother married a black lady. And I said they just left her line, she\’s not like that. Why do people do that? I have been knowing Jennie for almost 5 years, not once has she ever act prejudice to me or to anyone that I work with. That\’s just so unfair to put that on someone. As high as gas is and food, the focus shouldn\’t be on the color of someones skin. When its time to be with The Lord, who will stand there saying, I don\’t wanna stand by this black man? I mean for real!!!

Its all about love and helping each other. That\’s all I want to do in this world. Find peace people. Get understanding. Pray pray pray. Love each other, help each other. Ask God how can you bless someone today. Don\’t look for others to do it, start with yourself. Listen to the conversations of people and ask God what should you do to bless them. Don\’t expect anything in return, just do it and walk away.

Gotta go and watch a movie with Neisha. Talk to you all later.

Cree

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