“WHO R U” Part 1 Cree’s Blog Entry

As I sit here cooking dinner… Collard Greens, corn bread and fried chicken, I am reminded of the complete PEACE that I have in my life.

As bad as I want to tell and “share” my dinner with several family members * because I KNOW they will appreciate it* …. God has reminded me that its okay to prepare it and to have it for myself.

For as long as I can remember I have always been the person who spends all day inviting friends * one at a time* over and helping them to sort out the things that’s going on in their life, and even when I wanted to be alone and enjoy my own PEACE… I kept smiling and invited more. I remember so clearly being in my apartment in my early 20’s, washing dishes when I said Lord, I want a Best Friend.. someone who I can talk to, instead of doing all the listening. I heard him loud and clear when he said to me… I am your Best Friend. I said I know God.. but I’m talking about somebody “down here”. Here it is 20 plus years later, and that conversation comes to my mind at least twice a week. I don’t know if I “hurt” his feelings (((smile))) or he knew it was going to come a time when I’d say… NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NEW FRIENDS FOR ME/CREE LORD… IM GOOD!!!!! LOL

I realize that as a child growing up that I’m a very supportive and motherly person. I still do NOT in my adult life know how to balance this in my life. Its like I want to LOVE and HELP everybody. I admit I have gotten so much better with this, because by living on my own, it has helped me to do more for myself. Daily I have to sit quietly and think about ME. Doing what makes me happy. I’m sad sometimes in how much time and energy I put into others, when they were busy “doing them”, or was it that I MADE IT ABOUT THEM? Even though they all APPRECIATE everything, its ME… its ME who need to learn balance. When to offer my help, or to just fall back.