As I sit here cooking dinner… Collard Greens, corn bread and fried chicken, I am reminded of the complete PEACE that I have in my life.
As bad as I want to tell and “share” my dinner with several family members * because I KNOW they will appreciate it* …. God has reminded me that its okay to prepare it and to have it for myself.
For as long as I can remember I have always been the person who spends all day inviting friends * one at a time* over and helping them to sort out the things that’s going on in their life, and even when I wanted to be alone and enjoy my own PEACE… I kept smiling and invited more. I remember so clearly being in my apartment in my early 20’s, washing dishes when I said Lord, I want a Best Friend.. someone who I can talk to, instead of doing all the listening. I heard him loud and clear when he said to me… I am your Best Friend. I said I know God.. but I’m talking about somebody “down here”. Here it is 20 plus years later, and that conversation comes to my mind at least twice a week. I don’t know if I “hurt” his feelings (((smile))) or he knew it was going to come a time when I’d say… NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NEW FRIENDS FOR ME/CREE LORD… IM GOOD!!!!! LOL
I realize that as a child growing up that I’m a very supportive and motherly person. I still do NOT in my adult life know how to balance this in my life. Its like I want to LOVE and HELP everybody. I admit I have gotten so much better with this, because by living on my own, it has helped me to do more for myself. Daily I have to sit quietly and think about ME. Doing what makes me happy. I’m sad sometimes in how much time and energy I put into others, when they were busy “doing them”, or was it that I MADE IT ABOUT THEM? Even though they all APPRECIATE everything, its ME… its ME who need to learn balance. When to offer my help, or to just fall back.
Here’s what I found out….. Part 2 coming tomorrow.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy