Life Lesson- Glad I Got A Chance To See Mom Cry/BLOG

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Growing up, I remember so clearly my mother crying many times after hanging up the phone from taking care of business.

My mother was the type to kinda “go with the flow”, when it came to her business over the phone back in the day. If it wasn’t anything immediate she would take what ever they told her, but when it  came to something she needed done now, she didn’t know the right questions to ask, and when she was rejected she’d cry and it would make me so MAD.

Can you imagine how I felt as a child, a person who knew how to express herself, knew what kind of questions I needed to ask in order to get business taking care of and couldn’t help or offend my mother? I hated when she cried. I remember saying, “When I get grown aint nobody gon make me cry”. I think back on this Life Lesson and I’m glad I got a chance to see her cry, because it helped me to learn how to take care of business. It made me strong to where I learned ways to communicate in order to get things done without cursing anyone out. Simply by knowing the right questions to ask.

When I got my first place, I remember thinking, I’m a mother now. I have to make arrangements over the phone, ask the right questions to get my business taken care of. I remember writing down questions I needed to ask before I made my phone calls, and each time they were answered AND UNDERSTOOD by me, I would go on to the next. If I didn’t understand I would ponder that question 3-4 different ways in order to get a true answer. I thought to myself, there is no way in the world that I’m going to hang up this phone and not have made progress. In person….. I’m nothing to toy with. I’m very very friendly and this is why I will not accept anything less than my business being taking care of.

I prefer in person, eye to eye contact. That way a person can understand MY ENERGY, MY PERSISTENCE, MY DIRECTNESS. I never ever ever, ask a person to go beyond the company policy to accommodate me. If you can do it, DO IT. Don’t give me the run a round, because I do ask for names, badge numbers, and phone numbers to your extension just in case I need to ASK MORE QUESTIONS. I’m not a pest, because I don’t want to stay on the subject no more than you do. If I’m speaking with you over the phone and I feel I’m not getting answers… TRUST AND BELIEVE…. I’M ON MY WAY UP THERE TO SEE YOU FACE TO FACE. I will never curse anyone out, and if that person cant/wont help me, then I’ll talk to a supervisor. Even with that, I ONLY talk to people who can get me results. PERIOD.

I watched my mother cry too many times in my childhood days. But I must add, TODAY.. .my Mother DO NOT PLAY. LOL LOL She says she learned from the best. All of her kids (4) are great communicators and baby when I tell you now…. SHE WILL EMBARRASS YOU, because she knows how to get her point across. Sometimes I have to walk away if we’re in a store or place of business LOL LOL . She wont stop until she get her questions ask. Its so funny because she has come along way. I’m proud of her.

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Chopin Script Regular

Sharing Your Deepest Secret To Help Someone/BLOG

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I know a lot of people, and sometimes when they share life their lessons with me, I most times will share a similar story about what I’ve been though. Opening up about some of the things a person has went through can be painful. But its always helpful that the person you’re sharing them with can relate.

I remember a time when this young gurl came through my line when I was working as a cashier. She was pregnant, and when I  asked her when was her baby due, she told me that she was going to have an abortion soon. I was horrified! I was horrified because when my baby was just 3 months old, I found myself pregnant again at 19 with my second baby, and in my mind there was NO WAY EVER, I was going to have that baby. I told my first daughter father, and he told me that what ever I wanted to do he would support me. I didn’t  tell my family because I didn’t want them to talk me into having it, because I knew they would. In my mind I felt embarrassed, and I felt that I wouldn’t be able to take care and handle 2 kids. So, I had an abortion and never told ANYONE.

There I was in my early 40’s talking a young gurl out of having an abortion something I wouldn’t let anyone talk me out of. I told her that I felt the same way at her age.  I felt that I couldn’t take care of another baby and that it wasn’t even up for debate. But, she let me talk to her. I told her, look, you CAN take care of this baby, it seems as if you cant right now, but had I depended on God a little bit more, I would have my baby in my life . I told her that the person I am today.. I HATE that I had an abortion. Back then I didn’t know that I could make it, but now I know that I could have. I begged her to please have her baby, because I knew it would bring her joy the moment she laid eyes on her/him. I didn’t know what her final decision would be, but I know she heard and listened to me well.

One day I was having lunch in the Subway inside of the store. This young lady came up to me with a baby in the stroller and said with a huge smile, do you remember me? I looked at her and said, you look familiar, but I don’t. She said I’m the gurl you talked into having my baby, and here he is! I just burst out crying. I was so emotional. She said THANK YOU SO MUCH for talking me into having my baby, she said now every time I look at him, I feel bad for having that thought. She said he brings me joy and makes me happy,  said I don’t know what would I do without him. I was so happy and very emotional. I told her how hard it was for me to share my story with her, because I was ashamed for so many years, but I didn’t want her to turn out like me. To live with regret years later wondering what sex my baby was, how would he/she fit into my life today, and the biggest thing, KNOWING NOW, that I COULD have made it with God by my side. She said because of you, my baby is here. She was so happy and so grateful for that talk we had. She was a complete stranger. Wow, I wonder where they are today.

Sometimes we have to give up our deep buried secrets to help someone. I wanted to take my secret to the grave with me, but  God wouldn’t let me. What I went through I didn’t want her to experience. I was in my early 40’s, and had healed from it. I was at a place in my life where I could talk about it, and wanted to share it with someone to help them. Thank you Jesus! Thank you!

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How I Gained Back My Self Esteem/ PART 2/BLOG

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I was 24 years old (( 6 years in)) when I FINALLY came to my MIND. When I started talking to God about what I was going through. I thought that I would never get over my daughters father. The more sex I had with him, the more I loved him. That’s when I found out that SEX was the soul-tie that kept my mind on this man. The first thing I learned I had to do was, stop the sex. It was so hard. So so so very hard. Every time I saw him, we were a magnet and I had to give it to him. I knew if I could just stop the sex then I would be able to get over him. Sad thing about it,  I knew in my heart that he had to do something terrible to me, to turn me off from him, and that would be how I would be able to walk away. Its a shame that in order for me to get over this man, something bad had to happen. We never fought EVER, so I knew it wouldn’t be that, but it was something, and  when it happened…..I knew then that I had to let him go.

I started reading my Bible and separating myself from my friends to be more in tuned with God. I started reading how much God loved me no matter what I did. In my mind he was in charge of my LIFE. He was the man I had to please, and that’s when I started learning my worth. I was never a person who compared myself to other women, because it was clear to me that GOD MADE EVERYONE DIFFERENT. I enjoyed and loved the fact that I WAS THE ONLY ONE MADE LIKE ME. You can say, I favor this person or that person, but I was the ONLY LACREASE GOD MADE…and that made me HAPPY. So that alone made me NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want or desire to be like anyone else,  because I KNEW.. that God loved me enough to make ONLY ONE of me, and I love ME.

Then, I had to learn and write down all the things God Blessed me with. I had to read it daily. I had to learn my worth all over again. I had to know it without a doubt. I had to live it. I had to think it, I had to see it ON ME. And here is what I started with.

NOW THIS IS MYYYYYYYYYY LIST…. you make your own list. Remember we are all different.

  • I grew up with both parents in the home, and they helped me with everything I needed.
  • I  got my  first apartment me and my daughter, and a job.
  • I was funny, loved people, loved to laugh and pretty
  • I had a beautiful shape, and wore clothes to compliment my body (( never disrespectful))
  • Had lots of friends and loved the Lord

One of the biggest conclusions IN MY LIFE that God helped me come to was that MEN wanted SEX. What I ( women)  have the men want !!! I had to learn the POWER in it. I learned it was OK to keep it to myself…. its mine. We women don’t have to give it away. Its so much POWER in the vagina. Its not to be shared with everyone. Its yours and all the boys want it. No! No! No! Learn this TODAY! You do NOT have to  give up your vagina.

Fast forward to today. I spend time with myself learning myself daily. Learning my wants/needs and don’t need. Learning things I will NOT ACCEPT. For example.. Married Men.

I met this guy at my job, he comes in often and he calls me “Momma cool”… why I dunno. This man is soooooo fine to me. He’s attracted to me and I’m attracted to him. He’s my type of man IF he wasn’t married. Now, I will NEVER EVER talk, meet, or see this man outside of my job. I will not engage in any conversation with a him or any married man, unless its work related, or God. That’s apart of building my self esteem. KNOWING WHO I AM. My self esteem stays ON 100 because I will not engage in anything not healthy for me and will disappoint God, especially when I know better.When you start crossing lines and doing things out of YOUR CHARACTER, that’s when your self esteem start going DOWN DOWN DOWN. Depression sets in, suicide, doubt , fear all that stuff starts to creep in. Cut off any thing that YOU KNOW is not good for you, because if you don’t you’ll find yourself in trouble. Stay inside of your worth!!! Married MEN ARE OFF LIMITS.. PERIOD! Once you exchange phone numbers….. THAT’S IT!

Take trips. Go to the park alone to spend time with God. Clear your mind. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.. MAKE IT HAPPEN! Go to lunch alone, you dont have to take the kids all the time. Think about yourself. Whats your favorite desert? Go to Dairy Queen alone. Stop feeling guilty because you didn’t take the kids this time.. ITS OKAY. I promise you. Go to Bath and Body Works and buy not one but 4 different scents of lotions, its OKAY. Learn what you like and will  buy the next time you visit. I will book a hotel an hour away from me in a minute! Book a room for the weekend. Have someone to watch the kids… Go alone, make plans to do things while you’re there.

Listen… I will jump in my car and go to the park and sit for hours in the sun enjoying myself. I may have music or I talk to God. I use to be “scared” to go to dinner alone, because I always took my daughter or a friend… YEAH OKAY… I WILL hop in the car and go sit my but down alone so fast. I love getting to know myself. I love me. God made me and there is no one else like ME, and guess what… JUST AS I LEARNED THIS ABOUT ME…. YOU CAN TOO!!! Be your own “to do list”…. life is not about having Sex all the time, sitting on the porch watching cars ride by, going neighbor to neighbor needing someone to go shopping with you. Get to learn yourself, know what you will and will NOT ACCEPT from a friendship, or relationship. Do YOUR own thang in your spare time, and treat yourself. ITS OKAY!!!

Be Blessed!

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Focus on ME/BLOG

Today, I decided that I was going to focus on ME. I listen and help a lot of people with my Spiritual advice, but I feel that I have neglected myself. Not in a bad way, but enough to say…..Okay, its my turn.  I’m going to listen to ME.

There are things that I want to accomplish, and things I want to do. I am traveling more and I love that about myself. Already I’m paying on my trip back to the Bahamas. I’m also going to Jamaica, and Mexico. I’ll be leaving for Atlanta next month, and I plan to go to Vegas for the first time next year. I’ll be 50 this year, and still haven’t made plans. I don’t want to have a party. I know a lot of people and there is no way I can afford to host a party that huge, people would be left out, I just don’t have the money for all of that. So, I just may do something for family and that’s it. Traveling is everything to me. I enjoy packing my suitcase, buying new outfits and sandals. I enjoy everything associated with it.

Its so hard making new chances when it comes to myself. Why? I don’t know. I have very high self esteem. I don’t talk about others, I uplift and encourage all.  I’ll feel as if I’m being selfish, because I’m so use to helping out others. Well its too late because I’m already in the process of working on me and my body. YesssszAAAAAAAA

I’m closing for now, chat later.

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Higher Is Waiting Hardcover – November 14, 2017

Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

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Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

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GOD Chose MEEEEEEEEEE…. CREEEEE?/BLOG

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Hello Family 🙂

Today I was laying in the bed thinking about how God works in my life. Its so unreal, makes me smile and LAUGH at the same time. When I was 19, I was so in LOVE with my daughter’s father. God told me that I LOVED that man, more than I LOVED him. I was devastated when God said that to me one day as I was washing dishes. Because for some reason, I felt it may have been true… not on purpose… but maybe a fact. I didn’t like that one bit, and I MADE SURE I DIDN’T LOVE ANY MAN like that EVER again. I know how to LOVE.. because I learned it from my parents and growing up with close siblings. So after God revealed that to me, I continued to show men LOVE… because its in me. While they thought I LOVED them so hard (((  but I was just loving how I was taught))).. they ALL were disappointed, sad, and in a state of disbelief when the relationship was over, and I walked away like a car tore up in a accident, with no scratches on my body. That’s one thing about me that I LOVE….. I can walk away and never look back… all while STILL LOVING you at the same time… but in a “out of your life” way.

I LOVE GOD MORE THAN ANYTHING… and just because I show you the LOVE and LOYALTY you may not have experienced from someone else outside of your family… doesn’t  mean LACREASE WALKER won’t walk away like I never knew you…. because I CAN….in a way that will make you ask yourself… “Did she even LOVE me in the first place?” And that answer is…Yes I did/do.

Okay, I got off track. I was so in LOVE with my daughter’s father, that it took me forever to get over him. That was one of the hardest things to do. Back then, there was no social media where you can read up on other stories and then come to the conclusion that this man is not the one for you. We didn’t have access to other women who was going through the same thing to connect with. We had to learn on our own. I was secretive, so a lot of things I went though alone. I didn’t know that SEX was the connection that kept me going back to him. When I cut off sex, I was able to move on. Took me years and years, and years to realize that. But here is the part that got me laughing and talking to God about. He is using MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…. to talk to the broken women who are going through the same thing in this time and day. SO MANY women email me, talk to me in person, send text and other messages about the same thing. At first I was like… “Ok God, why are these ladies coming to me… I had a hard time back in the day trying to get over the LOVE I had for my daughter’s dad?” He said because you are over that, and you are the one who can reach these women. WOW WHAT AN HONOR…. When I think back on those times.. I don’t feel qualified AT ALL!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??????? God are serious? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? CREE?????? I was so broken, hurt, ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, lost, had an abortion, MEAN AND EVIL… any and everything you can think of.. and GOD SENDS ME TO HELP THESE WOMEN?????????? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

I must say… GOD KNOWS BEST…. because I have spoken with SO, SO, SO , SO, SO many women about relationships, hurt and things associated… that this is truly apart of my calling. I am helping these women to find themselves, and to get back to God. Women are a magnet to me when it comes to this area of their lives…. and I love it. I’ve been there. I know the pain. I know the hurt. I know the thoughts and the cries at night. I know it all. I just want to say THANK YOU LORD FOR CHOOSING ME! I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD AND SEND YOUR DAUGHTERS BACK TO YOU, SO THAT YOU CAN SEND THE MAN DESIGNED JUST FOR THEM!!!

I AM La’Crease ((( I don’t have to do anything else)))

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God wants me to know…….Crees Blog Entry

ilovecreeToday, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …

you need to maintain a balance between your needs and others’ needs.

Yes, it’s not an easy balance to keep, but try you must. Give too much, drain yourself, and there is nothing left only bitter space. Give too little, become a cork, and you block the flow of God’s love through you. Keep on balancing.

 

This is the truth. I am truly balancing. It was hard for me in the beginning but I’m finding it FUN to do things for myself. I am NOT GOD…..just like I have to go to him….. I will be directing all others to do the same. Oh yes….. there will be CHANGES.

 

This song is for ME…

 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy