Tag: communication

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Why I Say I AM La’Crease/BLOG

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Hey Family! 🙂

In today’s Blog entry I want to explain why at the end of my post I write, I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else. After thinking about it  deeply, well…… read it for yourself.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been a person that’s very protective over the ones closes to me. I’m the kind of person who LOVES EVERYBODY. I’ve never been the one to play favoritism with my friends or family, and I’ve always kept it real. But I noticed that I was doing too much. Thinking too much, talking to much, just DOING TO MUCH. I had to find out what is it that makes me do what I do? I’m the oldest of 4  and I’m working on learning to STOP having a OVER protective Spirit. Now, its okay too have a Protective Spirit, but not OVERLY protective. In order to get it under control, I had to disconnect the phone calls with people EVERYDAY. I was one who could talk on the phone all day, everyday. Thing was, I was the one doing the listening. I realize that a lot of people come to me because of my motherly personality, the Godly advice I give, and for the fact that I treat everyone the same. I try to be the same person everyday. But I realize that I was doing too much. I realize that I over do it to make people COMFORTABLE… when they’re really just fine. I found out that I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else.

For example: If I’m at my mothers house, I will ask her 100 times if she’s okay? Does she need me to go to the store, does she needs to run errands, if she needs me to do anything. Even if she says no, I’ll ask one last time before I leave. I can talk to a friend about an issue, I have to keep checking up on that person, texting and making sure everything is okay. But I found out that… everything IS OKAY… I don’t have to do all of that. Its OKAY.. I have to tell myself that its okay, everything is fine, I don’t have to do anything else. We are GOD’S KIDS…. Why am I doing extra work? LOL  I’m always asking people “Are you Okay boo?” I’m always genuinely concerned.. but shoooooooooooooooooo after years and years and years…. I’m wore out from that. I have gotten to the point, where I don’t want to waste a lot of MY time “catering” to folks when THEY’RE NOT EVEN ASKING FOR ME TOO. Its me that has taken this too far. Everyone is okay, except me, who is trying to make sure they are.  LOL Now, I can sit back and really enjoy my life, without feeling that I have to take on others burdens or constantly ask or wonder if my loved ones are okay… GOD HAS THEIR BACK… THEY ARE JUST FINE….

SO…I say…. I AM La’Crease, and I don’t have to do anything else. Because I DON’T!

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Baltimore Mom/ My FB Post/ HULK/BLOG

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Hey,

I was having heated debates with my friends on FB about the Baltimore Mom who “snatched” her son up  because she didn’t want him out rioting. Many of them felt like “why is it news that she did that”, and that the Media had an agenda behind it, because they felt that had it been under other circumstances, she would have be arrested.

Well.. for me I didn’t agree. First of all, if it was a LAW and if she was breaking it, she would have been charged, no matter what the MEDIA reported. The MEDIA has nothing to do with the LAW. So if she was breaking the LAW she would have been charge or at least investigated. Why is it news? Well, its up to you how you see things. For me, I saw it as positive. There are so many “PUNK PARENTS” these days, that they let THE MEDIA… PLANT MANAGE AND SUPERVISE how they discipline their kids. For this case, TO ME…. the Baltimore Mom’s attitude about it, it was made it news. She didn’t have an attitude when she was doing interviews, she wasn’t offended by how others felt she should have handled it. And you knew not to get in her way that day when she met up with her SON.  She was true to how she loved and raised him, and also how she felt about HER son rioting. She did say she was angry and that she would have done things differently. Give her that. I feel that when you stay true to what you believe people will pick up on that. Especially if you’re not rolling your eyes,  having attitudes, or being defensive about it. When you are genuine sure about how you handled things, people are most likely to back off and RESPECT YOU EVEN MORE.

When it came to the rioting, I posted how I felt about that… and some people were mad at me. Here is that post….“I hate to see whats going on in Baltimore. This is their own neighborhoods that they’re stealing and burning. Now I see why God said Vengeance is mines. He can take care of anything better than we can…we anger to fast. After the destruction will come consequences. No buses, no stores, no groceries, no pharmacies, nothing. So sad people don’t see further than right now.” When I wrote… we anger to fast.. Oh boy what I say that for? LOL Only 2 friends come for me when it comes to these types of post. And I was ready for them!  I understand ANGER.. I DO. But I also understand CONSEQUENCES… I hate facing those… with a passion. When you’re angry and you do things before you think them though, you pay for that either now or later. All I was saying is, when its all over said and done. Who will take your grandparents to the store to buy grocery’s when there is no car, and not a store to walk too? Where are they going to get their prescriptions from, when the next CVS, WALGREENS is 20 minutes away? What about the gurl who was just about to move and needed her check before she lost her job at CVS? People don’t care when their mad. At some point in your life you have to learn how to handle ANGER. Its hard, yes it is, but you’ll pay consequences for your actions if you don’t. Sons and Daughters are in jail because either their parents didn’t teach them about ANGER and consequences, they were taught and still did things their way, or they just didn’t care. So now, the parents have to suffer, if they have children, they will have to suffer, their siblings, nieces, nephews,  and grandparents. Everyone pays. So, my post was to show that you have to think things all the way through before you start to do things that will effect you later. They didn’t see it that way.  They felt that since I have influence, and use FB as a podium to write about important issues that I should have used that time and energy to write about charges to the officers involved in the case. And let me say this.. I AM FOR ACCOUNTABILITY for those involved…  remember …I RAISED A LAWYER…. but if my post wasn’t about that, then fall back. I’m not a person who writes things ahead of the process. I like to watch, read and gather more information before I write. I’m not going to post every 7 minutes my feelings and thoughts just because I’m watching CNN. Oh well.. I’m the Boss of my FB page!

Last week, I was standing in line to deposit a check into my account. I was with my Sisters who were waiting patiently in the truck. The line was so long, and after a while I was getting irritated because the teller had to keep leaving her booth to get answers from a supervisor about the customer at the counter. After about 30 plus minutes , I had it. I was about to go into Incredible Hulk mode, I CAN FEEL THE GREEN MONSTER RISING UP IN ME. Now, I know why I have always had a connection to him as a child. LOL LOL  I want to be nice and sweet, but that ANGER is something else. Let me explain. I have a lot of patience with people and situations, because God gave me this great gift of Understanding.. but BAAAABY.. every now and then….. I will cut lose. What happens is.. my leg starts shaking, my body gets hot, I have to hold my head in my hand to look away from the situation. I have this urge to have a OUTBURST. As I got older I learned how to pray to control it. I know once I have this outburst… I’m going to want to turn over something ( I have never) , not to mention scream out…… “HURRY-UPS.”. “WHATS TAKING SO LONG?”, “GET SOMEBODY ELSE OVER HERE TO HELP”, “WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW?” So, what I do is pray, pray, pray, I say God please, please, please, please, please, please don’t let me have an outburst. Lord, please help me not to say anything, to stay calm. Please Lord, let this heat in my body go down. Lord, help me right now to calm down. I’m a Christian woman I don’t want to nut up.. I KNOW THAT THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES IF I DO. Let me show you step by step. 

  • have this outburst and people are staring at me ((( hate attention)))
  • the manager is called and Im asked to calm down
  • I am asked to leave since I didn’t calm down , and I STILL DONT GET MY BUSINESS TAKING CARE OF
  • if Im too out of order, then the POLICE may be called on me
  • I will have to go elsewhere to be served

As people we have to think everything through before we do things. I personally don’t like to pay for consequences. God calmed me down, and when it was my turn, me and the teller were so cool. We talked and even laughed as she took care of me. I was so happy that I LET GOD COME INTO MY HEART AT THAT TIME AND CALM ME DOWN… no telling what would have happened and what I would have said, if I hadn’t. Thank God for Jesus!

I AM La’Crease (( I don’t have to do anything else)))

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Women Let’s Come To A Place/BLOG

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((( My friends TC, Kema & MG)))

I’m always thinking about the relationships between women, and how we can communication without being offended all of the time. I use to be a person of constant confusion. Always the one arguing and debating with someone out of the group. When I debated I went hard, non stop, making examples and proving points.

Today 2015, I don’t have time for that.  I will shut down an argument before a person could finish a sentence. Looking back, I didn’t have peace within myself. I was always in my own way, always had to prove someone wrong, always wanted to be right. UGH… so glad God had me to step out of my own picture so that I can see it from a distance. Now, don’t get me wrong… this Virgo can go toe to toe in a nice respectful debate * I raised a Lawyer* it doesn’t have a hold of me anymore. I don’t have to go hours. I can say what I have to say and be quiet. OMG I love that about myself now. Its so fun to be quiet. Ask the question.. and leave it alone. But the point I’m making is… Women have to come to a place where we can say  what we have to say in a respectful tone, and keep it moving. We’re so quick to fly off the handle.

One of my coworkers came into work late last night. As she was talking to a group of people, another coworker asked her a question. Not sure how it was asked, or how it was received, but the ladies got into a heated argument. It was way out of character for them both, so as I as exiting the restroom, the gurl who was asked a question was in there too. I asked her what happened out there? She looked at me with tears in her eyes, she said I lost my grandfather today, and the hard part about it is.. I never seen my grandma go crazy like that. It was so sad seeing her this way, she burst out crying. She said you know I never get into it with anyone, she said I hold a lot in, but this is bothering me because I loved my grandparents and its sad to see my grandma this way. I gave her a hug. Told her this is why you got into it with the other young lady. I said that was not you or her at all. After comforting her, I asked if it was alright if I shared that information with the other gurl so that they can clear things up. She said yes, and as soon as I talked with the other gurl, she went right to her immediately and they talked.

LIFE LESSON: Sometimes we need to communicate whats going on with us. Especially if we’re going to stay in the presence of others. Sometimes its hard to open up to others about personal matters, but its the PEACE TO UNDERSTANDING. All is well with the ladies. Amen!

I AM La’Crease ((( I don’t need to do anything else)))

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A Phone Call I Had To Make/ BLOG

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Last Monday I called my daughter’s dad and told him how much I loved the fact that he and Neisha are so  close. He has 2 kids, Neisha the oldest, and a son 15, by his now separated wife. I never thought a day would exist to see them as close as they are. She loves that man, and he loves her. They are BEST FRIENDS. She told me that she has 2 Best Friends as her parents.

 I’m so happy about the amount of time they spend together, they go out of town together, they go to dinner and lunch all the time, he even goes to her job just to take her lunch. I told her that when she was younger and we’d get into it, he had to have prayed to God that one day he wouldn’t have to communicate with me in order to be close to her. LOL LOL That when she was old enough, he could build his own relationship with her. And that’s exactly what happened. He told me that he loved me and that he is so proud of the way that I raised her. I told him I loved him too, and that I was so happy that he is the Father of my only child.

One thing that’s for sure, and we both tell her all the time. Whatever you do.. make sure you marry a decent man who loves and respect you. A man who doesn’t fight, or mental abuse you, because you know your dad loves you with everything in him, and he will NOT tolerate anything less.

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I wrote this to say… sometimes you have to make a phone call to those who are important, to tell them how you love and appreciate them. Things change, and people change. If anything ever happen to me or him, we both know that we LOVE each other and that whatever happened in the past between us is over and done with.

Thank you Jesus for LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. 🙂

I AM La’Crease

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Communication is Everything!/BLOG

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Hey Family  

Yesterday my mom invite me, my daughter, and niece over for dinner. We had a really good time talking and laughing at the dinner table. We got on the subject of being outspoken.

My niece was sharing the fact that she’s outspoken, but as she shared more conversations I realized that she was more outspoken when it came to asking questions about things she wanted to know. For example giving advice, and sharing personal stories. But when it came down to things that she really needed to outspoken in, she wasn’t. I taught her how to weed out things that wasn’t necessary to be outspoken and so drawn into, so that she could focus on the things that she needed to be outspoken in.

She shared with me that at her dad’s home she has her own bedroom. Someone went into her bedroom and took a few items out, that she saw else where in the home. There are only 2 people who live in the home. When I asked her why didn’t she confront the person* dad’s girlfriend* who went into her room and removed the items…. she felt that since she’s outspoken that it wouldn’t come out right, and that it would end up in an argument. I shared with her… see that was the time to be OUTSPOKEN. Someone  went into your room and removed your items without your knowledge and consent. Instead of her being “outspoken”  and to the point… but also direct to the person who did it to let them know that its not okay….. she didn’t say a word. This is a problem so many people like her have.

I find people to be outspoken, are outspoken about the wrong things!

I know because I use to be the same way. You cant go into a grocery store and go off on a cashier just because she tells you she can’t help you because she’s on lunch break, but at the same time offered to get you help. But then you get to the register to pay for your things, you stand there for 15 minutes waiting for a cashier to acknowledge your presence while her face is turned towards her coworker talking it up. That’s crazy to me. So many people do this and it drives me crazy. There reason for not saying anything is because ” if they say something ” THAT CLEARLY NEEDS TO BE SAID”,  may not come out right”. These people want to say what they want to say… but don’t want to face confrontation when its something personal. Well this is something you need to speak up on. Its stupid to stand there for 15 minutes while someone talks while you need your merchandise rung. 

Then I realized….. some people don’t know how to talk to others without offending. They’re so use to being outspoken, they never learned to speak in a tone where people “get it”. They try their hardest not to offend people WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR PERSONAL ISSUES. Its easier for them to be outspoken when it comes to issues that is not their own. I know so many people like this. They look at it this way…. if I tell this person how I feel about my things and I know that I’m “out spoken” even though I’m right, this could end in a heated confrontation. They don’t want that to happen, so they shut down. But when it comes to someone else’s issues and story, they feel its  important to be “honest” and  out spoken, not caring how the person feels because “they’re telling the truth about it.To them….. when they’re honest its okay to be “outspoken”. But when it comes to their issue, they’re scared it may offend someone. Wow!

 The point I’m making is… learn how to talk to others so that they can “get it” and not be offended. Erase the word “outspoken” from your mind. It keeps you in a box to only be that way… when it comes to everybody else’s issue. Learn how to communicate, so that you can get your point across directly, clearly and in a non confrontational way..

Communication is Everything!

Be Blessed!

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LOVE is not a POWER STRUGGLE ……(((((BLOG)))))

 

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Hey

I had a wonderful last few days. Sometimes you just gotta make moves in order to feel good about yourself or a certain situation. There is nothing wrong with it either.

There’s this guy that I’ve been feeling for a long time that I get to see daily. I pay attention to consistency in a man. This person is the same every time I see him. He always have a pleasantness about him that I just love. He doesn’t even have to say much, he’s a doer. He’s one of those type of guys that enjoys to cook and have family barbecues at his house, family or a park. I always admire that in a man. When he speaks I listen, he’s so interesting, so helpful. So sweet, so honest and truthful.

These days some MEN are motivated by having MONEY, BIGGER AND “BETTER”. Some will never enjoy life in a family way, because they’re too busy either chasing MONEY…. OR/AND OOOOS AND AHHH’S. Sad part is, many of them don’t know how to LOVE. They’ve never experienced real love, because they’re so busy trying to impress people. Real love is displayed by dinners, seeing each other, walks on the beach, good mornings and good nights. Spending time taking rides together, small talk between being busy. Communication, agreements, compromise and understanding Not POWER STRUGGLING, demanding, one way conversations, side talking, and broken ” I’ll get back to you in a moment” and never do situations. Be done with those types of BUMS.Catch them on JUDGEMENT DAY and not a hour before.

I come from a family who LOVE TO LOVE on each other. WOMEN KNOW YOUR WORTH!

Be Blessed

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Finding My * your* Purpose in Life 4 ~ La’Crease’s Blog

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Entertainment, Business, Women and Teens

Finding my purpose in life.
What is my calling? What are my gifts?

Entertainment- When I was 14 years old I was IN LOVE with Prince. I told my mom when he come to Detroit, I wanted to be there. She took me, not once, but twice. What a dream come true. Ever since then I fell in love with Entertainment. Not only was I enjoying Prince, but I love the live experience, the back ground singers, and especially the musicians. I love the way it made me feel. I felt so alive. When I moved out on my own I started going to more and more concerts. I would win concert tickets off the radio, and when I went to pick up my tickets, I met a wonderful Radio Personality for WJLB name Janet G. She was so nice and sweet to me. I love her to this day!!! There were many times when she would call me down and she would just give me concert tickets, that was often. I believe that she played a huge role in me loving entertainment as much as I do. I enjoyed going to see the Male Dancers as well 4-5 times a week, just to see them do routines fast and slow.

I missed a lot of concerts waiting on others to go with me, or to get their money together, so I started going alone. It was hard in the beginning. I started buying tickets without telling anyone. Seem like every time I went with others, I was getting seats way in the back, but when I went alone I was sitting in rows 1-5….. every time. I went to several plays before I knew who Tyler Perry was, but when I went to one that was terrible…. I vowed to never, ever go see another play again. I also enjoyed comedy. At concerts and plays I started paying more attention to what was going on back stage than what I came to see. I wanted to be apart of a backstage crew. I enjoy planning and how things came together. I absolutely LOVE ENTERTAINMENT. To name a few of my favorite concerts and plays that I’ve attended would be…… Anita Baker, The Late Great Gerald Levert, Barry White and Luther Vandross, Karen Clark-Sheard, Shirley Caesar, Missy, Mary J Blige, Janet Jackson. Destiny Child, Kelly Price, Jill Scott, Chante Moore, Maxwell, and Tyler Perry. Too many to name. I know for a fact, that Entertainment is apart of my calling.

Business- I LOVE taking care of business. I love to hear YES… in all my business ventures. Sometimes I push it , but its all good. When I was in my 20’s I learned how to speak well over the phone and in person to get my way. My family and friends would call me and have me to pretend to be them because they were nervous. I’m good over the phone, but face to face .. IM EVERYTHING. Seem like I can never get my way through email because I come off too persistent, and people LOVE to tell me No because they can’t see me. It started for me when I was a young gurl, my mom would make business calls and they would always tell her No, or make her have to do all of these unnecessary steps. Sometimes I felt that they sense that she was nervous about handling her business * which she was*, and they always gave her the hardest time. That bothered me. So, I made sure that when I became an adult, that wasn’t going to happen to me. Just tonight she called me and gave me a phone number to call in the morning so that I can take care of her business for her.

I learned that you have to have all your questions written down before you make calls. You have to speak with authority and know what you want. You can’t be afraid to ask question. Its your business, and you should feel comfortable asking whatever you want and need to know. I put together a lot of things, and in order to do this, I have to make these kinds of calls. If I have to see them in person….. that’s even better. I know for a fact, that the business is apart of my calling.

Women and Teens- I’ve always had a connection to them I learned to keep secrets at a young age, and it was needed in order to gain the trust of women and teens. No matter how deep the story is, God has always given me the tolerance to hear all kinds of unbelievable stories. I use to cry a lot when I’d hear the stories because they would be so devastating. But over the years God has strengthen me in this area where I’m able to listen and not take it personal. I’ve put together many Women’s Gathering, where we get personal, talk about God, and discuss how to deal with issues in relationships. I’ve worked in Detroit Public Schools for over 9 years total and I loved it. When my book is released, I know so many women will read it and change their lives. I know for a fact, that Women and Teens are apart of my calling.

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Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

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Finding My * your* Purpose in Life 3 ~ La’Crease’s Blog

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Communication, Personality, Keeping it moving

Finding my purpose in life.
What is my calling? What are my gifts?

Communication– I found out early in life that when I spoke…. people listened. I never found myself to be an interesting person at all, but I knew that the way I expressed myself in Honesty and in Truth people trusted me. When I speak, I aim to get right to the point. I learned that in order to be a great communicator, you have to use different tones of voice. My dad use to always scream at us to get his point across, and I HATED THAT. So when I had my daughter, I screamed at her. But what I found out is, just like me, she didn’t require that tone of voice. She was just like me a gentle gurl, all we needed was to be told once, in a nice tone of voice and we got the point. I’m glad I learned that before she got in her teens. Because there’s no telling how her communications skills would be today. I thought I was good at communicating, she may have me beat….. and I’m good!!!

When dealing with people, communication is one of my best traits. I always make sure my facial expression is approachable. That’s very important because who wants to hold a conversation with someone whose face is twisted and unpleasant? It goes both ways, when I want something, and I have to approach a person in charge, I always make sure my smile is on, and my body language and face expression is not defensive. That’s important because these are people who are in position to give you either an answer you’re looking for, or one you have to negotiate. I have gotten myself out of plenty of situations by being able to communicate and use facts that will give me a desired out come. I use to feel that you have to “get with people” in order to get what you want. I found out very quickly that people who have attitudes, have the most drama stories to share. My goal in life is to have the most success stories to share. I know for a fact, that communication is apart of my calling.

 

Personality– Growing up, I felt that I was a complete “nerd”. I was always in my room alone reading. But when I got in my 20’s, I knew I had a huge personality when, if there was 9 of us in the room, I would get into it with all 9 people before the night was over. LOL That’s bad. I didn’t know how to control my mouth, or my behavior. All I knew was that I had this huge personality, and for some reason when the night was over, I knew how to make up with EVERY person in the room. And I did…. every single time. I admit my personality always got me in trouble with my family, friends, and my jobs. I had no control of something so powerful. My strong personality got me in trouble, but my even stronger communication skills got me out of it. Once I knew I had these gifts, I started using them for good. Not to argue or debate with anyone, but to inspire, uplift and encourage people. I combine my gifts to be a great listener by using Godly wisdom, and reading my bible daily. I knew how to love and to receive love because that’s all my parents showed me growing up. By reading and writing, I studied the behavior of people, and by communicating I was able to get things in my FAVOR. Once I realized the Power my personality had, I wanted to do right. I wanted to be a better person because people listened to me. They wanted me in their presence. I made them smile, laugh and look at life in a different light. When before I made them angry and mad at me. I lost a lot of friends and jobs because of my personality, and I’m still learning.

When I was in my teens I would read my bible every day. I was addicted to the stories and to the Love God have for us. I would find interesting Scriptures and write them down, go through the white pages and mail them to people. I have this desire to see people go to Heaven (((make it))), then and more especially now. When I moved out on my own, I had more money to buy postage stamps. I never told anyone, I just did it. I would pray over the stack, and take them to the mailbox which was at the corner of my apartment. I know for a fact, that having a strong personality is apart of my calling.

Keep it Moving– This is one gift that I knew I had, but hated using it. I associated it with being mean or funny acting. But I NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, knew that it was needed to go with my personality. I now realize that I attract a lot of people, and for the people who aren’t good for me…. I need the gift of keeping it moving. I have absolutely no problems with letting people go. It takes my two Sisters to sit and tell this story about me. They say I don’t give chances I just cut people off. I do give chances, they just see when I’m done. God has always, always showed me who was for me and was not, it was always my choice to keep them in the picture. I always knew that when I cut you off, it was a WRAP!!! IM DONE.

I love people, but I’m not attached to anyone on this earth. God gave me the Entrance to Love everyone, but he also showed me the Exit to keep it moving. ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITES TOO. I know for a fact, that the gift of keeping it moving is apart of my calling.

Tomorrow * Final* – Travel, Business, Entertainment

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Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

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Crossing the line in Marriage~ From the desk of Cree

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So, I’m sitting here watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Clearly reminding me of Why did I get married…… as Kenya is the one with NO HUSBAND, NO CHILDREN.. NO NOTHING… but trouble.
 
 
I’m having a hard time understanding why these other women can’t see the drama she’s bringing to the cast. Maybe its in their contract to have to sit there and be apart of something that only makes them look like weak women. Oh well… couldn’t be ME!
 
 
I’ve never been married. But I be darn, if I see my husband talking to someone who I clearly warned … that if you have any issues or conversations for ME or my HUSBAND… I need to always be present and apart of it. Now keep in mind this is not a random… this is because of an incident that happened in the past. My Question: Why is that so hard to understand? This is why when you’re speaking, you need to be CLEAR of what you’re saying ESPECIALLY when dealing with WOMEN…. it doesn’t need to be a 15 minute conversation…. only 3-5. To me either Apollo is either slow, or have a hard time understanding “lines you don’t cross” in a marriage.
 
 
After the relationship with my daughters father… I promised I would NEVER be insecure with my man.And I stayed true to my word. I realized I LOOK GOOD TOO. And, I sure don’t want a MAN who’s insecure either. If I ever had to be…. I would leave… one thing about LACREASE WALKER…. I have no problems leaving a friendship or relationship once I see its not working. NONE.. A BLESSING I TRULY HAVE. #GIFTOFGOODBYE. Let me say this…. I will work on my marriage, talk, cry, go to counseling, meet up with other married couples for advice…. but I refuse for my SELF ESTEEM to go down. Hell to the neva naw! 
 
 
Some women are so full of drama.. I wish a woman/man WOULD disrespect our relationship/marriage. The part that made me mad about is Pheadra, she’s so “sophisticated ” but maybe she didn’t want to really get down with him, because she was filming, but she should have made him come to the room with her to talk that out. I wouldn’t be able to sleep, or discuss anything else until we talked. I’m not going to beat around the bush, we’re not going to talk in front of company, we’re not going to use curse words to get our point across, we’re not going to raise our voices, and before we go to sleep…. we should have made up. All that next day, talking in codes, making him kiss her as*… I wouldn’t play all that. She’s keeping it build up inside and its causing resentment.. I can see it on her face. That will make a man step out too. Nope.. it aint right… but it happens.
 
 
Single women… like Kenya always have THE MOST TO SAY about people who are married. She doesn’t have a clue to mother hood or being a wife. Its so disrespectful to see her so deep into their business. I, do NOT play that at all. I wish a woman WOULD get in me and my husbands business.
 
 
First of all, the type of woman I am, I WILL NEVER make you feel as if you can comment on my relationship. And let me make this clear…. I say I don’t play that not because IM JUST SO GONE AND HEAD OVER HEELS OVER HIM… but its because that’s crossing the line. And when someone cross the line on MY BUSINESS with MY HUSBAND…. a beep goes off in my head.. meaning you’re IN MY LANE..I’ll give you that look, and you’ll have so many seconds to vacate the premises. From there… JUST HAVE GOD ON SPEED DIAL…. cause that’s what its going to take to get me to calm down.
 
 
Now let me say this….. both of my Sisters are married. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE , LOVE their husbands. They’re the best brother n laws any sister could have. The type of RELATIONSHIP me and my Sisters have…is this…… I don’t get in their business. My sisters don’t call me, text me, inbox me, or tell me the problems they’re having. FIRST OF ALL … I DON’T CARE… IT’S NOT MY BUSINESS. AND ITS NOT MY LANE. I love that, because when we’re all together, I feel good and comfortable around them. So, when they ask for my opinion about something in the relationship.. THEY ALWAYS VALUE IT. ALWAYS.. ALWAYS! They know I love them all, I don’t take sides JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE MY SISTERS. I tell them to truth, I use words to get to the point, and its not a 2 hour conversation. The truth is always to the point. This is why an authentic woman like me will always stand out.
 
 
So, I say all of that to say…..learn to stay in your lane when it comes to a Marriage. If God Blesses me with a Husband…..God, Communication, along with understanding, faithfulness, and keeping people out of our BUSINESS will be our guide….. THIS IS ONE AREA IN MY LIFE… I DO NOT PLAY! * 
 
Be Blessed!
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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“WHO R U PART 2 CREE’S BLOG ENTRY (((must read)))

relationship with godPART 2…

Here’s what I found out…..That while growing up I always had a desire to keep PEACE in my life and to those all around me. I was that kid that when my momma said.. get up and wash dishes…. I got up and washed dishes. If she said be home by 9… I was home by 8:30. If my dad said to me have this house cleaned up by the time he got home… so it was. My dad was (((and still can be))) a manipulator. I didn’t know what it was then, but I knew that when he wasn’t happy, he wanted to make everybody around him miserable. GOD.. I HATED THAT!!!! He could come into the house and set off the whole atmosphere. He would turn the TV when he knew we were watching something, made us do stuff, he would just create a space that was unbearable.

As I got in my teens and started working, he would ask me for a few dollars here and there, and I would give it to him. But there were times when I had other plans with my money, and boy did he make it hard for me. In order to have PEACE in the house when he wanted money to buy liquor, play his lottery or gas money, he would purposely start an argument with me, and for PEACE sake I would give in. This went on for years. Then I watched him do it to my sisters. When I moved out at 22, he continued to call me and ask for money when he needed it. And when I didn’t give it to him, he would be mad at me for weeks and weeks. For the life of me, I still can’t understand how a father/mother can be mad at their own kids for this long period of time. ((((shaking my head)))) When me and my siblings get mad at each other we make up on the spot!

So at age 22 my calm sweet Spirit attracted MANY people. I love PEACE and people see it, they want to be apart of it, they are a magnet to me… and as I grew up in LOVE and demand PEACE.. I found myself being a FREE THERAPIST for everyone. LOL I LOVED it and still do!!! I love talking and listening to people (((( THIS IS WHO I AM))) and what was going on with them, helped me in so many ways to figure out my own ISSUES. But in the process I lost myself. I got caught up in showing so much LOVE, that I have neglected myself. Not only that.. but I realized that not everyone knows how to receive LOVE.

I met this lady at my job, she was a year older than me. We worked together, and became really good friends. She didn’t have siblings and wasn’t close with her mom. I enjoyed talking with her and talking about the things that went along in her relationship. After that didn’t work she moved out of town and we still stayed in touch. Knowing that she was in another city I was often worried about her. I remember one day I called her and didn’t get an answer. It was very unusual since we talked nearly everyday and every week. I called her so much that day it had to be about 11-12 times straight. But she was there all along, not feeling like answering the phone.

Here is a piece of that email she wrote to me….. I HAVE HAD
E———–NOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS
IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. YOU HAD BETTER HAVE SOMETHING
SERIOUSLY WRONG TO BE CALLING ME THE WAY YOU HAVE.
ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU
BEFORE. YOUR CALLS DONT MOVE ME! WHEN I HAVE TIME I WILL
CALL YOU. I AM ON A MISSION AND WILL NOT EXPLAIN MYSELF! IT
SADDENS ME THAT YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO AN ALL TIME LOW. ITS
DISGRACEFUL! DISRESPECTFUL AND TRULY INCONSIDERATE! IF THERE
IS NO EMERGENCY THERE IS NO EXCUSE AND GOD NEEDS TO CONVICT
YOUR HEART ON THIS MATTER. AT THE DROP OF A DIME YOU CAN
ENCOURAGE PEOPLE NOT TO CALL SOMEONE IF THEY HAVE CALLED
THEM SEVERAL TIMES AND THEY HAVENT RETURNED THEIR CALL. THEN
WHY CANT YOU TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE MISSY! ALL I CAN SAY IS
WOW YOU ARE TRULY OUT OF CONTROL! AND WHEN I STOP WHAT IM
DOING TO ANSWER THE PHONE AFTER A GAZILLION CALLS, YOU HAVE
NOTHING TO SAY BUT HI.
YOU-CAN-NOT-CONTROL-ANYTHING-BUT-YOU! TO TRY AND FORCE
SOMEONE TO CALL YOU BACK AND SHOW THEM YOU WILL BADGER THEM
at all cost IS NOT THE WAY TO DO things. YOU GET NOOOOOOOO
RESULTS! AS YOU SAY “YOU DONT KNOW WHAT OTHER THINGS PEOPLE
HAVE PLANNED WHEN YOU CALL THEM” THE SAME RULES APPLY TO
YOU.
PRAYING ALL IS WELL
BE BLESSED

And in another email that day…. she wrote:

Its soooooooooooo sad,
That my friend has a case of road rage at the mouth and cannot control herself. It saddens me that you interject your comments when I didn’t ask for your opinion. Its clear that you lack the ability to listen. How can you argue MY opinion.
You have issues with your mouth and listening without offering your opinion when not needed. You got a big loud mouth and you need to learn to control yourself missy! I have a friend with no self control of the lips. And for the first time in years I need to tell you, that you have a serious problem in this area. I am embarrassed to know that its soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out of control even you cant help it. But you really need to get-it-together with your anger–rage mouth!!! Its very difficult to share things with you when I know you gonna go nutts at the lips!!!!!!!

There is no excuse or apology for your behavior just work on making the changes for yourself.

After reading that THEN….. I was like WOW. Where did that come from? Even though we have been knowing each other for a total of 23 years…. I STILL DIDNT look at myself . I never got to explain to her that I only called so many times in a row was because I was worried about her… aint like she lived around the corner as she always have from me. She was going through a lot at that time, and she was my GOOD friend. I cared. In my family and circle, if you’re really close and haven’t talked to that person… concern grows…. YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN TO MAKE CONTACT WITH THEM… and they’d appreciate it too. Looking back at this email from 5 years ago… I realize that everyone is not use to someone “looking out for them” “checking up”, “or giving advice” just as well as listen to it. I have sisters that I LOVE… trust and believe if I blow you up like that I CARE. When I can’t get in touch with my sisters and friends… THEY KNOW I WILL BE KNOCKING ON THEIR DOORS. If something is wrong with that… I’m sorry. They understand… that I don’t mean no harm.

I refuse to put this ALL on her. This was MY issue too. Becoming too involved and having a desire to help people. I didn’t know when they wanted me to listen or when they wanted advice. When I’m quiet they want to know what IM THINKING.. when I voiced my opinion they just WANTED ME TO LISTEN. Again… that was me… putting too much into others. Don’t get my wrong there was nothing wrong in doing this… but when you lose YOURSELF FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS… that’s not good at all. I finally get what she’s saying after all of these years. I get it. I really get it. Too bad our friendship has ended.

And just like my dad, he just wont let me LOVE him without sabotaging our relationship. He’s mad at me right now, its been almost 3 weeks since he called me. Growing up as a child and in my early 30’s this would bother me something terrible. Somehow I just don’t care anymore. I feel bad that I DONT CARE. Looking at my dad’s past, he is just like my friend, THEY KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND TO BE FAITHFUL TO PEOPLE….. but they don’t know how to RECEIVE it.

I’m not mad at nobody…. I’m just staying in my own LANE. Running my OWN race.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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