Yesterday my mom invite me, my daughter, and niece over for dinner. We had a really good time talking and laughing at the dinner table. We got on the subject of being outspoken.
My niece was sharing the fact that she’s outspoken, but as she shared more conversations I realized that she was more outspoken when it came to asking questions about things she wanted to know. For example giving advice, and sharing personal stories. But when it came down to things that she really needed to outspoken in, she wasn’t. I taught her how to weed out things that wasn’t necessary to be outspoken and so drawn into, so that she could focus on the things that she needed to be outspoken in.
She shared with me that at her dad’s home she has her own bedroom. Someone went into her bedroom and took a few items out, that she saw else where in the home. There are only 2 people who live in the home. When I asked her why didn’t she confront the person* dad’s girlfriend* who went into her room and removed the items…. she felt that since she’s outspoken that it wouldn’t come out right, and that it would end up in an argument. I shared with her… see that was the time to be OUTSPOKEN. Someone went into your room and removed your items without your knowledge and consent. Instead of her being “outspoken” and to the point… but also direct to the person who did it to let them know that its not okay….. she didn’t say a word. This is a problem so many people like her have.
I find people to be outspoken, are outspoken about the wrong things!
I know because I use to be the same way. You cant go into a grocery store and go off on a cashier just because she tells you she can’t help you because she’s on lunch break, but at the same time offered to get you help. But then you get to the register to pay for your things, you stand there for 15 minutes waiting for a cashier to acknowledge your presence while her face is turned towards her coworker talking it up. That’s crazy to me. So many people do this and it drives me crazy. There reason for not saying anything is because ” if they say something ” THAT CLEARLY NEEDS TO BE SAID”, may not come out right”. These people want to say what they want to say… but don’t want to face confrontation when its something personal. Well this is something you need to speak up on. Its stupid to stand there for 15 minutes while someone talks while you need your merchandise rung.
Then I realized….. some people don’t know how to talk to others without offending. They’re so use to being outspoken, they never learned to speak in a tone where people “get it”. They try their hardest not to offend people WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR PERSONAL ISSUES. Its easier for them to be outspoken when it comes to issues that is not their own. I know so many people like this. They look at it this way…. if I tell this person how I feel about my things and I know that I’m “out spoken” even though I’m right, this could end in a heated confrontation. They don’t want that to happen, so they shut down. But when it comes to someone else’s issues and story, they feel its important to be “honest” and out spoken, not caring how the person feels because “they’re telling the truth about it.To them….. when they’re honest its okay to be “outspoken”. But when it comes to their issue, they’re scared it may offend someone. Wow!
The point I’m making is… learn how to talk to others so that they can “get it” and not be offended. Erase the word “outspoken” from your mind. It keeps you in a box to only be that way… when it comes to everybody else’s issue. Learn how to communicate, so that you can get your point across directly, clearly and in a non confrontational way..