So many thoughts go through my mind. Ever since I was a young gurl, I use to always write in my journal. I don’t think anyone in the world have as many as I had back in the day before there were computers. What I learned is that I don’t have to share them all, I have learned to keep something’s to myself. Funny thing is… if people knew what I knew…. I wonder how they would feel…. for the fact that I DIDN’T SHARE IT WITH THEM….especially when I could have at anytime. Its not that I “set out” to be “secretive”, its just that I’m at the time in my life, where I enjoy figuring out things, knowing things, laughing and/or crying to myself. For a person with a huge personality, I realize that its “Okay” to keep something’s to myself. My daddy told me long, long time ago…. “Never empty your head out”. I didn’t get it then…. but I do now.
As I write, I’m sitting here listening to Gerald Levert. I miss him so much…. it just hurts so bad. When Luther Vandross died, and Barry White my mothers favorite artist. She cried and I really never understood it because “In my mind” they were people she never met. We went to see them both in concert, but I never realize the connection she had with their music and their work…. until Gerald died. When she was going through her own personal issues, the music that they made, helped her get through those times. And so, I finally got it.
I was at work when my coworker called my extension. She said LaCrease I have something to tell you, are you sitting down? Her voice didn’t sound right, I remember screaming in the phone… WHAT KI KI WHAT? When she told me, I instantly went numb. I was a walking zombie. She came to get me with about 3 other coworkers and I remember going to the rest room crying like a baby. It was one of those things where when you hear a story you instantly know its true. Now, I’m a person who don’t believe a whole lot of nothing . I side eye everything, lol but this feeling was real. I could hear God in my ear at work saying to me… LaCrease, I let you meet him, take SO MANY photos, spend PERSONAL TIME with him, be invited to his listening party with 50 others. He answered your questions in a LIVE CHAT, SAT FRONT ROW AT HIS VERY LAST CONCERT AT THE FOX IN DETROIT… When I think of that…..tears REFUSE to fall. God has truly comforted me during that time. My LOVE for Gerald goes way back. I feel this same way about Tyler Perry. Nothing better not happen to him before I meet him 🙂 This would hurt me something terrible.
Today I was talking to one of my students. I have to be careful, because I can break somebody down with my words and eye contact, especially about stupid mess… so I have to be careful because these are KIDS. This boy came in the lunch room like he grown, cursing and acting hard. My coworker and I said to him excuse ME… DONT YOU SEE US STANDING HERE , WHILE YOU’RE DOING ALL THAT CURSING? He said I’M GROWN… I can do what I want to do, and say what I want to say. He said I pay my own bills, pay my own rent, buy my own clothes. So. now I’m looking at him real hard walking up on him, THEN HE SAID…. MY MOTHER IS DEAD….. I’M GROWN. He said it with such conviction and he meant it, NOOOOBODY is going to tell him what to do. He looked like he wanted to pull out a gun and show us better than he can tell us.A wave of anger went through him. That’s when I heard God say…. go over and sit with him. I went and sat at the table with just him. I said what’s your name? He said Juan.. I said I’m Ms. Walker. He calmed all the way down when he realized that I wasn’t there to hurt him or be HIS BOSS. I sat with him and looked him in his eyes and said to him. First of all lets start off respecting each other. He said okay and he apologized for his foul mouth. After that we just started talking and after a few minutes, I knew that he had a lot on his plate. It hurts me to my heart that these kids carry so much on them. The parents are either on drugs, dead, or too busy doing them. But there are some good parents out there, let me make that clear. I’m so HAPPY AND SO BLESSED that God gave me this gift to be able to break through to this kids. They really listen to me, even if they don’t get it right now, I tell them to “file it”, That means to keep it in the back of their minds and whenever they need to use that wisdom, to pull it out. LOL Tomorrow I can’t want to see him again, so that I can see how he’s doing. Praise God!!!!
Okay let me close this up, because I can write all day. Remember to LOVE people, show yourself friendly. Always encourage, uplift and inspire someone. God loves YOU!!
What a week this has been. WOW LOL I guess I’ll never know how God has the patience to deal with his kids….. I know for a fact that I’m a handful all by myself……so can you imagine what the rest of the world is like? LOL
I don’t like to Celebrity Blog but this one I have to discuss. Creflo Dollar.
If you know me, you know I LOVE ME SOME CREFLO DOLLAR. When I was in Atlanta I went to his Mega Church…… World Changers International. But this past Sunday I kinda looked at him in a different light. Not bad….. oh no… not at all. The things he said really made my eye brows go up past the beginning of my hair line……..yeah way up there. A lot of times he will go off and go into something personal and at times its funny and easy to follow. But this PAST week 6/3/12 he started talking about Churches and how they only have a few members and they have a nerve to call themselves INTERNATIONAL…. and the audience laughed. Then he started talking more about the Churches , but this time he just kept on talking negative, and I’m going from laughing to “did he just say that”? I was asking myself why is he nutting up and talking badly about other folks Church? Then he said something that just took me over, I had to close out of his site…… my ears couldn’t hear it anymore. I was embarrassed to see him go on like that….. because he was way out of Character. I felt bad for him.
I sat at my computer and God said, Creflo needs to be humbled… and then I heard God say he is about to show him something and the whole world is going to know about it. NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I THINK IT WOULD BE LESS THAN A WEEK BEFORE HE DID IT. See, I know God… you can’t have all of these followers * and they belong to God* and feed them YOUR GARBAGE… YOUR OPINION… YOUR PERSONAL THOUGHTS….you can’t do it. I knew he was going to be in NATION WIDE TROUBLE with GOD. I KNEW IT… I KNEW IT…. I KNEW IT….
I knew that he wouldn’t be in the kinda trouble where something happens and ONLY his family and close friends knows about it. Or his behind the scenes Church family…… I knew that he would be in trouble TROUBLE. He needs to really humble himself, because he was really off the hook in last Sundays Service. Gosh….. and no one could stop it. He couldn’t stop himself at a certain point. The sad part is….. the REAL issue isn’t about what happened with his daughter, its about humbling himself. I hope he gets it, because this is serious. He always make fun of the noises that Pastors make when they are at the end of their sermon, and his congregation laughs. My Pastor makes that noise, and I don’t find it funny when you LEAVE SCRIPTURE and talk about what other PASTORS do. I can’t feel that. Its a DISRESPECT to any man of God, who do their best to get God’s word out to people who understand this way of teaching. I grew up with it, I understand it. Just because you seat 30,000 people doesn’t give you a right to talk about how another Pastor preach to his flock.
Again, I say….. what happened between him and his daughter IS HIS BUSINESS….. this is all about HUMBLENESS.
In other news…….
Its so hard trying to find an apartment in Atlanta while living here in Detroit. I will hop in my car and check out a place in seconds. I’m such a go getter when it comes to certain things….. I love that about myself. I want this bad… I feel like I’m over loading my mind thinking about it all day ….everyday. I may have to take another trip there soon for paper work. Spending all this extra money is killing me. Lord, please HELP ME. Sometimes I wonder if I had went 19 years ago when I took my cousin * who still lives there* what would I be doing now, and would I love it? I’m sure!!!! LOL Being a step closer excites me.
Gerald Levert’s Birthday is coming up next month and as I was pulling into my drive way yesterday coming home from work… his song DJ Don’t came on, and I was bumping it….till I thought about the fact that he is no longer here with us. I just burst out crying my eyes were so red. Afterwards I was saying to myself…..where did that come from? I MISS HIM SO MUCH. I’m so happy and Blessed that God let me meet him and take so many photos with him before he passed on. God knew that he was going to die, and he knew that I would be just devastated if he passed on without me meeting him. I remember that night so clear, he held a private party and my gurl Pat won 2 tickets and she invited me. It was so private, we had him all to ourselves. All we wanted were photos and good conversation…..that’s all. And he gave it to us. He loved his fans… not only did he tell us.. but he showed it in and at all his gatherings JUST FOR HIS FANS. I miss him dearly.