So many thoughts go through my mind. Ever since I was a young gurl, I use to always write in my journal. I don’t think anyone in the world have as many as I had back in the day before there were computers. What I learned is that I don’t have to share them all, I have learned to keep something’s to myself. Funny thing is… if people knew what I knew…. I wonder how they would feel…. for the fact that I DIDN’T SHARE IT WITH THEM….especially when I could have at anytime. Its not that I “set out” to be “secretive”, its just that I’m at the time in my life, where I enjoy figuring out things, knowing things, laughing and/or crying to myself. For a person with a huge personality, I realize that its “Okay” to keep something’s to myself. My daddy told me long, long time ago…. “Never empty your head out”. I didn’t get it then…. but I do now.
As I write, I’m sitting here listening to Gerald Levert. I miss him so much…. it just hurts so bad. When Luther Vandross died, and Barry White my mothers favorite artist. She cried and I really never understood it because “In my mind” they were people she never met. We went to see them both in concert, but I never realize the connection she had with their music and their work…. until Gerald died. When she was going through her own personal issues, the music that they made, helped her get through those times. And so, I finally got it.
I was at work when my coworker called my extension. She said LaCrease I have something to tell you, are you sitting down? Her voice didn’t sound right, I remember screaming in the phone… WHAT KI KI WHAT? When she told me, I instantly went numb. I was a walking zombie. She came to get me with about 3 other coworkers and I remember going to the rest room crying like a baby. It was one of those things where when you hear a story you instantly know its true. Now, I’m a person who don’t believe a whole lot of nothing . I side eye everything, lol but this feeling was real. I could hear God in my ear at work saying to me… LaCrease, I let you meet him, take SO MANY photos, spend PERSONAL TIME with him, be invited to his listening party with 50 others. He answered your questions in a LIVE CHAT, SAT FRONT ROW AT HIS VERY LAST CONCERT AT THE FOX IN DETROIT… When I think of that…..tears REFUSE to fall. God has truly comforted me during that time. My LOVE for Gerald goes way back. I feel this same way about Tyler Perry. Nothing better not happen to him before I meet him 🙂 This would hurt me something terrible.
Today I was talking to one of my students. I have to be careful, because I can break somebody down with my words and eye contact, especially about stupid mess… so I have to be careful because these are KIDS. This boy came in the lunch room like he grown, cursing and acting hard. My coworker and I said to him excuse ME… DONT YOU SEE US STANDING HERE , WHILE YOU’RE DOING ALL THAT CURSING? He said I’M GROWN… I can do what I want to do, and say what I want to say. He said I pay my own bills, pay my own rent, buy my own clothes. So. now I’m looking at him real hard walking up on him, THEN HE SAID…. MY MOTHER IS DEAD….. I’M GROWN. He said it with such conviction and he meant it, NOOOOBODY is going to tell him what to do. He looked like he wanted to pull out a gun and show us better than he can tell us.A wave of anger went through him. That’s when I heard God say…. go over and sit with him. I went and sat at the table with just him. I said what’s your name? He said Juan.. I said I’m Ms. Walker. He calmed all the way down when he realized that I wasn’t there to hurt him or be HIS BOSS. I sat with him and looked him in his eyes and said to him. First of all lets start off respecting each other. He said okay and he apologized for his foul mouth. After that we just started talking and after a few minutes, I knew that he had a lot on his plate. It hurts me to my heart that these kids carry so much on them. The parents are either on drugs, dead, or too busy doing them. But there are some good parents out there, let me make that clear. I’m so HAPPY AND SO BLESSED that God gave me this gift to be able to break through to this kids. They really listen to me, even if they don’t get it right now, I tell them to “file it”, That means to keep it in the back of their minds and whenever they need to use that wisdom, to pull it out. LOL Tomorrow I can’t want to see him again, so that I can see how he’s doing. Praise God!!!!
Okay let me close this up, because I can write all day. Remember to LOVE people, show yourself friendly. Always encourage, uplift and inspire someone. God loves YOU!!