My Sisters and I was having a conversation the other day about how I use to follow the rules all the time when we were growing up. I always thought twice about what I was doing when it was against the rules. But for some reason it was always in the back of my mind to stop.
As I got older, I realized that I was this same person as a kid . I would tell people not to do something that would make them have to pay the consequences LATER, they always looked at me like…”guuuuuurl it aint that serious.” I remember saying to myself… “why bring extra trouble to yourself?” When I got the reaction that I did, I started asking myself “why do you care if they have to pay the consequences of their actions?” I care because I am a Christian, and I hate to see people suffering when they could have prevented it.I learn through consequences, why not tell others? I’m a person who cares. Oh yes, I could easily watch people do wrong, not open my mouth and watch them pay. That’s easy to do. I’m not that person. But I will say this. I will run it by you once, twice, maybe three times, but I wont be calling you, bugging you, emailing you, texting you or anything like that. As a matter of fact I won’t bring it up again. God gives me visions of the consequences we have to pay when we don’t follow the rules and decide to use the “Free will” button.
There was a time in my life when I was clicking that “free will” button all day EVERYDAY. I remember one consequence I paid heavily just before turning 20. My BFF and I worked together, and when we would get tips we would put them in our tip jar, but when we were low on money instead of ringing up pastries and coffee, we would STEAL and put that money in our tip jar too. We started off doing it a few times a week, then we started getting addicted and depended on that change so we did it all day everyday. Eventually we quit that job we were working, and started other jobs. We were very, very, very, close did everything together, lived across the street from each other, went out together, took trips together, she knew my family and I knew hers. We LOVED each other like Sisters. We were so goofy , laughed all day everyday.
Well one day me and my BFF were running errands. She left her purse in the car to run in someplace (( don’t remember where)), but when she went to the next store she took her purse. As she walked to the car I could see that she was mad about something. When she got in the car, she asked me did I go in her purse and take $20.00? I said NO.. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!! She said well Creasy, it was in here when I left home. I said I didn’t go in your purse, I wouldn’t do that. We argued all the way home. We didn’t talk for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS over that. She felt like how could you do that to me? I was your BFF. There was nothing I could say to convince her that I would never ever do anything like that to her.I was devastated. I prayed and asked God why is this happening?
He said…. when you and Lisa were working together, you both stole money. Even though you have never stolen from anyone, not out of their homes, not out of their purses, you have a history of being a THIEF. There was nothing you could say to convince her that it wasn’t you that took her money. That’s when it started to click in my head. She felt like… if I did it to our job, then I would do it to her. But I didn’t,and I paid for it. After no communication for years and years, when we finally grew up and started talking. She told me that she found out that it was her brother (( he started doing it regularly)) who went in her purse and stole her money, not me… she apologized. I was more happy that she didn’t think it was me, than anything.
Her only child and my God daughter Erika, had gotten big and didn’t know me 😦  We were in different places at this time, and no matter how much we talked, we never got that connection we had in the beginning.  😦 I learned a serious lesson in all of that. What we did together spilled out in our own friendship. There was nothing I could have said to convince her that I didn’t steal her money. The consequences of stealing from that company, was how I lost my BFF and the closeness/bond/friendship of my NOW AKA BEAUTIFUL GOD DAUGHTER!! I paid for that dearly. I will never forget this lesson. We are connected on FB and its so good seeing her and Erika. They’re both Christians who LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES THE LORD… and I’m so glad that we can laugh and talk about our past while moving on to our future. We’ll both be 48 this year and I Thank you Lord Jesus for that LESSON TO SHARE WITH OTHERS. AMEN!
I AM La’Crease (( and SHE doesn’t have to do anything else))
I’m a huge fan of Catfish the Show. I’m attracted to it because its so scary and it could happen to anyone! Its sad that people purposely live a life to deceive others over the internet. These people wake up everyday and have to come up with new stories and new conversations. As I watch the show and study the person doing the “catfishing”…. I can’t help but notice that there is always something going on with them. It could be loneliness, abandonment issues, attention, boredom and the list goes on. Sometimes they get so caught up in the lies they tend to believe it themselves. I also noticed that many of them never intended for the “catfishing” to go on so long. My thing is this…. what fun or “feeling” does someone get from this? Its time consuming, and not only that, but they become a person that’s not even REAL. How could that person leave the house and go on with life as normal and be connected to someone in the world as another person ?
That’s sick to me! SICK! SICK! SICK!
These people study their catfish on line, either on a BLOG Â FB, Twitter, Instagram and other social outlets. They know everything about them and will do anything to stay connected. Some use God’s name and Scriptures or whatever is important to that person to keep their attention. Its so sad how long they will allow themselves to LIVE THE LIE. Hurting other people is so wrong. I just hope that the catfish would get help and figure out what ever it is that’s in them that causes them to put time and energy into deceiving others. You are SICK! STOP IT!
 I realized what he was doing…..he was interviewing. I thought to myself…. “I know dayum well he aint the one doing the interviewing.” Now… I’m staring at him. He’s so dayum fine …he catches my eye. I found it hard to turn away. I was nervous. I can’t be interviewed by him because I know me… I’ll be nervous. Oh my GOD.. I thought to myself.. this is not happening to me. Not today. Not this time in my life. I have no control, I felt weak, and once he saw this in my eyes he would take me mentally to a whole new height.
So… I sat there. I tried to convince  myself that he wasn’t the one to interview me, that maybe there were several interviewers. I had to have went over this in my head about 20 times. He kept looking at me, so I decided that I was leaving. Nope, I wasn’t about to be interviewed by this man. He was NOT going to intimidate me. Nope not today. Now…. I have this thing about me, if I catch the eye of someone attractive and for me…. its one of MY “ugly” days, then I will NEVER be intimidated no matter how good he looks or turn me on. Because in my mind, I’m thinking Ok Cree….he thinks you’re cute today, just wait till he sees you looking good. So, that kinda helps me.
But on this day………………… I was looking good!!! My face was MAC FLAWLESS… skin beautiful, eyes *wish a brotha would look me into these marbles and not get caught up – lol*, lips poppin, hair on point * no wigs or fake hair*, smile… SMILING, eye lashes batting… had on my all black outfit with my boots…. couldn’t tell me nothing before I left out of the house. As I sat there…. I made up my mind that I was leaving. Wasn’t going to put myself through this.. I’ve been down this STREET a time or two of being CHEMISTRY intimidated and not able to get out of it. I stood up, grabbed my purse… just then I remembered that I parked valet and didn’t have my keys. Dayum.. I said to myself and sat back down. I decided that I was going to stay. That I was going to get through this interview and have full control. I fought myself all while he was still interviewing. I know me…. I’ve been though this before. There aren’t many times a woman look into a mans eyes and become star gazed on first site. Its a feeling that paralyzes you. But I must admit its one of the sexiest minutes to be apart of. But dang…. why couldn’t this happen while at the grocery store, mall or restaurant somewhere…… NOT A INTERVIEW. SHAT!
He stands up and shakes the hand of the person he just interviewed and the person leaves. My heart is pounding as he’s walking towards me to get to the desk to ask “whose next”. We make eye contact and we speak at the same time. I knew he was coming for me. I was in trouble. He goes to the desk and the gurl points at me. “DAMMIT” I said in my mind… he IS the one going to interview me. I embraced myself as he walked towards me looking me DEAD in my eyes, trying to “download” my every thought in my head…..through my eyes. We smiled and its a wrap for me…. I already know. He walks toward me and says ” LaCrease Walker?”…. Yes, I said as I stood up to shake his hand. He walks in front of me and says lets go over to this table * the one he was at while doing the other interview*. I was so dayum nervous… I started to say… “YOU KNOW WHAT?” I’m good on this job, it was nice for you to call me. I’m outta here. But I didn’t.
He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch. There was also a table there, that he had all of my information on. I couldn’t turn my mind off of how FIONE he was as he looked at my resume. He looked good from afar, but up close OH MY GAWD!!!! I kept telling myself…GURL….. get it together. It was silence as he looked down. He knew what he was doing. He was loading up on me, when he came up from that paper and asked that first question… I knew he would take FULL CONTROL. As he asked me the first question… he sat back and had his way with me. Looking me so deep into my eyes, downloading everything about me. Reading me, taking mental notes. Just dogging MEEEEEEE.. LOL Just like in the movie during the interview scene. All I could do was try to stay focus. The chemistry was so deep..so alive. So in my face. Then he asked more questions. Still staring me in my eyes as I spoke…so sexy and so sensual. I felt my body reacting to his stares. I tried to redirect my thoughts, but he kept looking at me. I know my eyes started telling him what my thoughts were… I couldn’t even help it. LOL I was slipping away yall.
Whenever he spoke about the company… that was my time to regroup my thoughts and get myself together. I kept having to have these inside pep talks with myself, because I didn’t know how much of these intense stares I could take. Just as I got myself together, there goes another question. A time for me to talk while he download my thoughts. THEN…… in the middle of me answering a question… he stops me and says… “Take off your coat”. To myself… I’m like “OH HELL to the N word NAW… um um you wont be seeing this beautiful shapely booty, my thick thighs and my waist line that carries it all. NOT TODAY!!! LOL LOL LOL I told him that I was fine. He insist. But the way he said it.. it wasn’t in a sexual way… or out of order…. NOT AT ALL… LET ME BE CLEAR…to him….. it only made sense to “get comfortable”… since I appeared to be ” NERVOUS” and the interview just started. I didn’t  want to do it…. if I ever had a chance to get out of it…. IT WAS GONE NOW.
I stood up which the space between his chair and the couch I was sitting on… placed me right in front of him.. LIKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I stood up and began taking off my coat… I tried to turn my head as I did it.. but our eyes locked and I PROMISE ON every TRUTH IN ME…. this man took off my coat for me!!!! His eyes told my coat to come off… AND IT OBEYED LOL LOL I had never in my life FELT SOMETHING SO INTENSE. When I took it off and sat it on the couch.. I felt like my breast, vagina, behind everything was EXPOSED! Its funny now looking back on it… but it wasn’t then. Shat…. I don’t even remember the interview after that. LOL
Whenever he spoke and shared things with me about the company, I reloaded trying to get “the POWER” back that he  was “stealing” from me. LOL  When it was my turn to answer the questions… my mind started failing me again.. worse every time. I starting thinking about kissing him, laying on the couch…all of this sexual stuff started coming to my mind. I’m saying to myself… “guuuuuuuuuurl if you don’t knock it off!!!  I couldn’t even help it… I was under a spell. The way he was looking at me.. he knew what he was doing. I was so weak and he knew it. He controlled the whole atmosphere and he was loving it. FINALLY …. the interview was over. YES!!!! He said.. I’m going to set you up on for a second interview. I was happy about that. He told me what time to come back in 2 days. I got to my car sat in it….. and almost needed a cigarette. I don’t smoke cigarettes, weed, anything… don’t even drink.. but I needed a hit of something that day. I was in a daze all the way home. I kept hitting my wrist asking myself…. what the HELL JUST HAPPENED? The experience was GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!! But dang….. not at a INTERVIEW!
I thought about that man all day and all night. I couldn’t even sleep the meet was that INTENSE. I had a plan for him.I was going to “get that ass back”. When I go back… I was going to be in CONTROL. I was not going to let him take over my mind, sexually and mentally again. I didn’t sleep for 2 days thinking about it. I remembered what he said…. he kept saying how he loved my bubbly personality. This time… I was going to be about BUSINESS . I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE that about myself. I can give you BUBBLY.. SMILES.. LAUGHS… COMMUNICATION…SEXY, everything… but when I put on my BUSINESS FACE…….YOU WILL NOT be able to figure me out… because I’m in control of MEEEEEEEEE. I LOOOOOOOVE Â that in myself.
The day and hour came for me to go back for a second interview… I walked up in there like  I WAS PART OWNER.. LOL LOL * Sho the FORK did*… Yalp had on my BUSINESS face like………..who WANTS TO SEE ME AND WHERE THEY AT? LOL LOL Guess who comes out to greet me.. looking BETTER THAN THE TWO DAYS BEFORE… GOOD GAWD…. um um ummmmm. One look into my eyes  as we shook hands to greet……and he said….. “you don’t seem as bubbly as you did before”… I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF IN MY MIND. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YESSSS ITS WORKING…. He said you’re okay? I said yessss… I’m good!!!! 🙂  I’m saying in my mind as we lock eyes… “what you want me to sit around here naked in the second interview too”? NOT GONE HAPPEN BOO. LOL  LOL LOL I was so happy I had my POWER back. He was looking good though… but I was ready for him and his PARALYZING STARES. LOL He directs me to the same area we were in before. But this time I sat in the other chair that sits a table, the couch I was on and the chair he sat in. He leaves to get the person who wants to meet and interview me. They both come back, but only the guy who is doing the interviewing sits down and in the chair that *handsome* sat in last time. We got to talking about the job, then about his friends, dogs, homeless people, being sick.. kids, everything. We WERE KICKING IT.. I was so comfortable… I felt so good. He was so cool.
Then…………here HE comes…. didn’t he PARK his FIONE self on the couch between me and the interviewer… sat and stared at me THE WHOLE TIME. I’m saying to myself.. GOD MAKE HIM LEAVE!!!!! I cant take it. He watched my every move, heard every word I said.. analyzed me, captivated me, sexually intimidated me, took off my clothes without ONE touch, downloaded all my thoughts, made me apart of his atmosphere, and took all MY POWER away. I tried to ignore his presence… I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. I tried to believe this wasn’t happening to me. I tried to stop looking at him. He was loving it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I had no control. The guy who was doing the interview was so into his story and life.. he had no idea I “left the building”. LOL I was at Mr. “House”. LOL I couldn’t stop looking over at him. I was a mess. He got me. He got me good. After that… didn’t even matter. I was butt naked again.. in his presence. I just let myself go. What the hell I thought to myself… he won! My thoughts took over and my nipples got hard. My vagina walls started doing the Harlem shake, flips, cart wheels… and whatever thoughts came to mind….. my body REACTED. AT one point… I tried hard to get back FOCUSED…. but it was like little kids in my head with markers, crayons, pencils and ink pens… coloring and scribble scrabbling all over my thoughts. What ever conversation I tried to muster up.. I couldn’t because the kids in my head…. scribble scrabble on my thoughts. HE got me.. h Then came time for paper work. We had to get in the elevator ALONE together.. and oh boy…. NOT THE ELEVATOR…. so personal… so sensual. The chemistry…… can’t even explain. I will say… that I LOVED Â the experience.. I LOVED how I felt… I LOVED the attraction and chemistry between us… but it was the wrong setting.
Please go see Fifty Shades of Grey… if you love my story… you’ll LOVE that movie… So sexy and inviting. 🙂 Listen to another of my FAVORITE SONGS from the SOUNDTRACK… Oh.. I love this song.
The kind of movie that my MIND and BODY craves. I’m a mind exploring -sexual person this is the perfect movie for my appetite.  Chemistry, Romance, Body Language, Mind Games, Way with words. Take MEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🙂 lol lol
When the books first came out, I didn’t read it at all. Wasn’t interested, too many people talking about it, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didnt read what the books were about, all I knew that it was a lot of sex… that was it. Never thought about it again…
Went to the movies sometimes last year, saw the previews on the screen and thought to myself…. Ummmm…. “I gotta see that movie.” My first concerns were that I wasn’t attracted to Christian… and didn’t think Ana was all that either. Because in MY mind, in order for a movie to be good, the leads have to have great Chemistry to attract my eye right away. Put it this way…. I had never seen either of the actors before, and couldn’t attract myself to their atmosphere. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Never to Judge a book by its cover EVER again.  I knew the movie was coming out Valentines Day…. I decided that I would go.
FIRST encounters… CHEMISTRY, ELEVATORS, DIRECT EYE CONTACT, HALF SMILES *while shaking the head in agreement*, INTENSE LISTENING *hard stares*, SEXUAL INTIMIDATION, SEXUALLY PARALYZED, BODY LANGUAGE NEAR OR FAR…., DIRECT WORDS * usually VERY short sentences*, MYSTERIOUS *the look in his eyes is a BRICK WALL, INVITING, THE SMELL OF HIS COLOGNE, ALLOWING THE WOMAN TO WALK AHEAD OF HIM *taking full control*, Making himself a THIRD PARTY* usually someone else comes in and start talking* while he sits back, watches and listens to your EVERY WORD. All of these things are important to me when watching a ROMANTIC movie, and also MY REAL LIFE experiences. What ever I THINK…. MY BODY RESPONDS.Â
I know there are people who may read this who have not seen the movie yet, so I won’t spoil it for them. But the movie opens up to my gurl… Annie Lennox ….. I Put A Spell On You. I love this song, because I first heard it years ago by Screamin Jay Hawkins * youtube him*. The SOUNDTRACK…. is one I cannot explain. I have NEVER  heard a SOUNDTRACK that captures every scene to the point. I am in love with it!!! Please BLESS YOURSELF and purchase it. I have to share a few of the scenes in the movie that “did it for me”. I LOVE how in control he was, so disciplined. Controlling a little… but not over aggressive to the point that he would IRRITATE ME. Just enough to keep my interest to figure out what is it about him …………..mentally. The DIRECT *sureness*  of what he wanted when he looked into her eyes…. I fell in love. The swag in his body language… spoke volumes. The question I asked myself as I was watching the movie is….. out of all the women that worked for him, that he met from interviews, in passing, what was it about her, that he wanted so badly? Men with POWER AND MONEY…. is always in search of “that gurl”. She has to be special, she has to know who she is, and what she wants in order to attract him. In the beginning of the movie, she was so shy and so nervous as she interviewed him, he picked up on it and used it to his advantage. He controlled the whole atmosphere with his DIRECT STARES….. CHAIR TO CHAIR bouncing, and 10-12 word REPLIES. TURNED ME ON IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES … LOL LOL Without telling the MOVIE…..it totally reminded me of one of MY EXPERIENCES.
A few months ago, I had went on several interviews searching for the right one for me. I was called to a 10:00 am appointment and when I walked into the lobby I was feeling GREAT and CONFIDENT. I  checked in, then sat on the couch and waited for the person to “come out” to get me. As I soaked up the lovely atmosphere, and beautiful interior decorations, I noticed a glance at me. I didn’t pay it any attention because I was busy looking around the place, but when he looked over at me for the  2nd and 3rd time…. I paid attention. I said to myself…… “is this man looking at me?” As I begin to focus on him.. I noticed that he was FIONE AS HELL. TALL*waves hand in the air*… handsome, sexy, thick, PRETTY WHITE TEETH, SUITED UP, beautiful in the face, eyes that says” come get it”, sexy lips, goatee, and very humble. I sat there trying to ignore him, because I know how my body respond to what I’m thinking and seeing. A INTERVIEW was the WRONG place for this. I kept trying to ignore his glances, until I realized what he was doing.
PART 2 COMING UP….TONIGHT * smiles*
I’ll leave you with this song… one of MY FAVORITES from the Soundtrack of Fifty Shades of Grey… * please listen to it*Â
I was talking to a friend last night, and our phone call conversation trigger several thoughts about being OUTSPOKEN at the wrong time. This is a subject that’s very serious to me, and I speak in COMPLETE BOLDNESS when it comes to it. I touched on this in the last blog entry…. but this one.. I’m going in.
Everyone who knows me know that when you call me, email, text, or we talk FACE TO FACE…I’m going to give you the real. I don’t add sugar to my conversations, ONLY salt.  I’m not going to short cut you, or baby you. I can feel when you’re leaving something out, and I can tell when you’re adding to it.I ask a lot of QUESTIONS… you already know. Many people come to me for advice because I can see the bigger picture. I use Godly Wisdom, and not worldly tickles. I’m not her. Period.
If I feel you’re holding back the complete truth, I’m going to shut down the conversation completely, and keep it moving. I will NOT hold a conversation with anyone, who doesn’t tell the full story…. it’s a waste of my time. I will never again hold 1 and 2 hour conversations just to listen * especially if the story is stupid and doesn’t need to be told* just because you want me to listen and not comment. FIND ANOTHER FRIEND FOR THAT. FIND A FRIEND WHO WILL LISTEN ONLY.. IM NOT HER…… AT ALL… PERIOD. I don’t have time to say.. “yeah, um um, I understand, right, yes, okay… all through the conversation without any input. I refuse to spend that kinda time on those conversations…. phone a friend who will. I’m not mad or anything… I’m just not that friend. PERIOD.
Listen.. as Christians we have to learn when to speak and when to fall back. When to stay in our own lanes, and when its okay to share lanes. Its very ignorant to be “OUTSPOKEN” on the wrong things. Its very ignorant to tell a friend… those shoes are ugly, where you get that ugly red hat from? Why you have on those pants, the style is ugly. When are you going to comb your hair? What time are you getting in the tub… I smell something? But then…. when its time to pay a bill and negotiate with someone.. you can’t do it. When you need to tell someone to stay out of your room, you can’t tell them. When you need a neighbor to turn down their music you can’t knock on their door. When you need to get pass someone and you can’t say excuse me, you rather wait until they notice you’re standing there. When you need to ask for a loan and SCARED of hearing NO.. or I DON’T HAVE IT. Instead of being able to ask these things… the excuse is ALWAYS…. “I don’t want nobody telling me NO… and If I say it, its going to come out wrong”. What is that? That’s stupid as hell to me. You can open your mouth and put your 2 cents into everybody else’s conversation, but don’t know how to work your own lane.
You can tell someone what their job is, and what they need to do, when they need to do it and why…. but you can’t knock on a neighbors door and tell them the’re too loud watching a Football game? That &&&& is retarded to me!!  You rather tell a friend their shoes are ugly…. IN THE NAME OF BEING HONEST. * because/whether they asked.. OR NOT”… but wont use that same honestly…. to knock on someone’s door and ask them to turn down their TV because its too loud.
As Christians.. we have to learn how to talk to people. The only reason why you feel its not going to “come out right” is because you catch attitude from people when they get mad at you for being in their business when you wasn’t invited. So now that its your business and its time for you to be a Boss, you can’t. We have to learn how to look at people in a non confrontational manner when speaking to them about an issue that would other wise cause conflict. We have to learn how to use voice control and direct eye contact with others. We have to usher in a Spirit of Peace when we speak. We have to go to God and ask him to calm us down before we ask a question or deliver a message to someone who may not take it well. This is a part of growing up, getting off milk and eating meat. You cannot be afraid “it won’t come out right”.. but at the same time… claiming how outspoken you are. Stop speaking when not asked., stop being so opinionated on things that doesn’t matter. Learn to pay attention to how things come on * a friend told me this*…. many times when you need an answer or something done, you need to learn how not to offend, so that the person can get it. That’s the whole key….. for them to GET IT. Stop feeling as if you have to say everything since its true….. when its not your story, important or necessary to say. Ask God to calm your storm before going to someone if you feel its going to lead to an argument or debate. Take YOU out of the situation and get things done people!!!
I know “outspoken” people who will tell you how dirty your car is….. but scared to ask the cashier for more ketchup because 1 isn’t enough. SMH!!!!Â
If we all told what we know of one another, there would not be four friends in the world- Blaise Pascal
I went up to my job to pick up the check that wasn’t right…. THE FOLLOWING WEEK …… And almost had to put on my “clown suit”. My check still wasn’t there and will be cut on the regular day… which I know they knew. See, that’s the kinda stuff that makes me want to go back to the old LaCrease. When you work with people all they see is your good side, and they think since you’re a Christian, that your patience is longer. I’m still a person boo… and I will nut up every now and then. Please don’t push me.
So, when I got off work (current job), I called the front desk and told them to tell the manager that LaCrease was on her way up there ( former job). When I got there, the gurl at the desk told me that he came out of the meeting for a brief moment but she didn’t get a chance to tell him I called. I said.. guuuuuuuuuuuurl I called up here 1000 times, you see his face and not once think to tell him that I was coming ? She said well he was in a meeting earlier, and on his way back to another one. Im looking at her like OKAY….AND….. She said I wouldn’t bother him in a meeting anyway…. Lord.. why she say that? I said I know YOU wouldn’t  bother him in a meeting….cause you want your job.. I DON’T WORK HERE… Before I knew it I said.. I’ll walk in that meeting and set if off.  Everybody walking around there with THEIR checks and I not have mines.. I know you wouldn’t bother him in a meeting.. HEFFA YOU STRAIGHT. I heard God say.. Cree go sit down and wait on the man. LOL LOL Mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn people are so BLESSED.. that I’m not the same person I use to be. Make me not even want to be nice.. Goodness why does it have to be like that? Just let me be nice!!!
Just wanted to check in right quick. I’m almost at 30,000 views Wow!!!
 I caught my normal Nov cold as I have been having since I was a young gurl. My body does the same thing month after month. I ‘m so in touch with it. I was ready for this cold. All I need to fight  <MINES> is Cold-Eeze. I can’t explained what these boys do to me. Some people have to take about 2-3 different things to fight their colds. One year I was so sick with a cold, I remembered a Cold-Eeze commercial where it says if it doesn’t work, you get your money back. Baaaby when they claim that… it means it works. LOL So, I sent Nesha to get me some and OH MY GOODNESS…. I’ve been using them for 3 years straight. I don’t need anything else. They say its the Zinc that’s in it that helps clear up the cold. It works for me.. I’m feeling good right now.
I’m having minor MEN problems. I really don’t understand some of them. LOL I’m trying to figa ( yeah figa) out how are you married … separated true enough.. and still trying to have a gurlfriend? I just don’t get that math when you’re in your 40’s. I’ve been down that street before… I’m not doing that anymore. So, since I’m not sitting on the passenger side of “THAT RIDE”… he wont take my phone calls.. HAHAHAHAHA … please!!! #hatetalkingonthephone #donthavetobebothered #itworkedoutformygood #seeyaonjudgementdaybro
 I guess I really don’t have much to write about tonight. I have some running to do in the morning. Been staying to myself and “doing me” lately, that’s always a plus. Things are finally looking up for me. I’ll be so glad when I get my own car again, I’ve been using my daughters car. I miss my Town and Country. Um um um.. I loved that van and want another one.
Omg its freezing here in Detroit. Its so cold. Goodness, I can’t stand the winter time. I love how pretty the snow is especially at night. But the drive, the accidents, scraping the ice and snow off the cars in the morning, and the stuck in the snow part…. I can’t. It seems to be never ending. Even though we’re use to it, its irritating as I don’t know what! Â
This evening me and my 2 sisters went out on our Sister Dates. We make it priority that we link up at least once or twice a month. Its so very important for communication and to keep in touch. We all have grown kids and its good to know how things are with them as well. We always go to Applebees our favorite Sister spot we sit at the table argue and debate like we usually do. Laugh and talk. We sit for hours… tonight was ONLY 4 hours. Yes, we have a lot to talk about in that time. I was sharing with my group on FB how important for Sisters and Friends to link up for these outings. I feel its just as important as going to work. It keeps communication open and it brings us even closer. I really hope that Sisters are connecting for these types of dinner dates. I love my Sisters dearly, we grew up together, and its important for us to share in each other lives.Â
Yesterday LOL LOL As I was walking into work…I saw this woman… she was leaving. I stopped her and said  ” you look familiar” . She looked at me with this smile… and ME WITH MY… HONEST, SERIOUS, TRUTHFUL AND NAIVE self.. asked her what was her name.  LOL And if you know me.. you know I be looking serious. * My Virgo self* LOL never dawned on me.. that THIS IS MY NEW JOB NOW AND I WILL SEE CELEBS EVERYDAY. When she told me her name… it hit me.. that CREE gurl you’re at work. You can’t be asking these people those types of questions. Thing is.. I’m not star struck at all.. PERIOD. Not one ounce of me. God put us all down “here”… and I take that part to heart with celebs or anyone else on earth. I’m just so honest, it was me being me and seeing a familiar person thinking I knew her. So for now on, I have to remember that.. and I WILL… TRUST AND BELIEVE.  As the day went on… there were MORE. LOL
On my way to bed… make sure you’re spending time with your siblings. Make it important in your life to find the time, do what you can.
I guess in this entry I’ll do some rambling. Lets start with RHOA.
I’m still stuck on Apollo and last nights episode. How the hell could he do what he did without thinking about his family and then TURN THE STORY AROUND ON PHAEDRA and accuse her of not being there for him? Do you see that type of thinking?…  I don’t be bothered with men like that. When they start talking “side ways” I will too, then after I get tired of that. I’ll start acting “dumb”.. after that…. then I’m done with the friendship/relationship because its pretty much going down hill. And in this case it  did. He got mad and asked her for a divorce…. SHE GLADLY ACCEPTED!
A. while you were fresh out of jail Apollo.. she loved you and married you. B. You decided not to go with the “family business” to run a funeral home and go at it as husband and wife. C. You wanted your own money and decided that scheming was the way to go.  I’m stuck on how he  figure that he could just skip over all that…. and discuss Phaedra not going to his sentencing. I’ll tell him…  look….. before we get to the “icing” we gon talk about the making of the “cake”. You did wrong to start with, didn’t think about me, didn’t think about the kids, didn’t think about our family, you thought more about money, and impressing people who are still walking around here Scott free. No one wants to run back and forth to a jail house with 2 BOYS..while you jail house talk me into staying with you for your return home. Women aint doing that “no mo”. We look at that situation as YOU LEFT US.. You did things that were more important than me and your kids. Women look at that as you LOVED US.. but not enough to do right so that we could all be together. Sorry I don’t feel any sympathy… especially, especially, especially when he tried to turn it all on her. Only in passing of a conversation will he acknowledge his wrong, never coming to the conclusion that what HE did …. is what got them in that situation in the first place. #SEEYOUIN5
 I’m speaking from experience. I was dating this guy and we were trying to get it together. He was the sweetest man, loving, kind.. and he LOVED HIM SOME LACREASE. But he kept going back to jail. I was there for him, going to court with him, writing him everything.I LOVED THIS MAN. I don’t have one bad thing to say about him. He got out, did the same thing, and went back. When he came home… I was done with him. Told him to come over and pick up his things a few pair of socks and papers. He was sad, knew I meant business, we kept in touch but our relationship was over.
He went back to jail!!!
Came home and got it together. By this time I was long gone. We kept in touch from time to time. He had gotten married, was happy and doing well. Years had passed one day he contacted me, I invited him over and we caught up on old times. Time went by again, he came over this time he was in a different place. Told me that I WAS THE REASON why things went downhill for him. Told me I was a good woman, and that he loved me more than anyone he’s ever been with, and that if I hadn’t left him in his time of need ((jail)), then his life would have been different. He tried to make me believe that I was the reason why his life was the way it was, saying had I hung in there with him, we would be together. I wasn’t happy with  that conversation, because just like Apollo, HE made  the decision to do illegal things.You’re not going to put that on MEEEEE I’m sorry. He left my house.
Two weeks later he sat on the edge of his bed and shot and killed himself in the head. For years… I thought about his last words to me. So after watching last nights episode it bought back many memories. I hope Phaedra continues to stand strong. I hope she takes the boys to see him, I would hate for her to keep them from each other, but as far as herself…. she has to keep it moving in order to have peace of mind.
Where are you? LOL Its getting hard holding it down baby. I’m meeting a lot of guys… but nothing serious.. So I guess… you’re still in the running. LOL You know I remember years ago asking God for you, but I clearly see that I wasn’t ready.  I’m learning so much about myself…. its crazy. I would have drove you nuts!
I guess the hardest part about everything is being/staying celibate. I’m very clear and upfront about it with men that I meet. I get tired of the “why” and the “when”. Then I feel they hate that decision, so they stay in the picture longer hoping I would give in. Not gon happen. My personal conclusion about it, turns into a challenge for them. And they KNOW.. that I’m serious. What they love about me is that I’m the kind of woman they want, but none want to go the distance with me, because they know I’M NOT THE ONE FOR THEM.  A man knows!!!
Today for dinner I made some Collard Greens, Fried Chicken and Corn Bread.. with a Pepsi and strawberry short cake for dessert. Yesss.. it was good too. Well, I’m closing for now, have to do some brainstorming for my gathering.
and I worked together, and when we would get tips we would put them in our tip jar, but when we were low on money instead of ringing up pastries and coffee, we would STEAL and put that money in our tip jar too. We started off doing it a few times a week, then we started getting addicted and depended on that change so we did it all day everyday. Eventually we quit that job we were working, and started other jobs. We were very, very, very, close did everything together, lived across the street from each other, went out together, took trips together, she knew my family and I knew hers. We LOVED each other like Sisters. We were so goofy , laughed all day everyday.
Erika, had gotten big and didn’t know me 😦  We were in different places at this time, and no matter how much we talked, we never got that connection we had in the beginning.  😦 I learned a serious lesson in all of that. What we did together spilled out in our own friendship. There was nothing I could have said to convince her that I didn’t steal her money. The consequences of stealing from that company, was how I lost my BFF and the closeness/bond/friendship of my NOW AKA BEAUTIFUL GOD DAUGHTER!! I paid for that dearly. I will never forget this lesson. We are connected on FB and its so good seeing her and Erika. They’re both
Christians who LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES, LOVES THE LORD… and I’m so glad that we can laugh and talk about our past while moving on to our future. We’ll both be 48 this year and I Thank you Lord Jesus for that LESSON TO SHARE WITH OTHERS. AMEN!
Inside the mind of cree 