Tag: inside the crazy mind of ms.walker

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Being a Christian is hard!!! Crees Blog Entry

babycree
Growing up my parents were split when it came to voicing our opinion. My dad allowed it, but my mom didn’t. As long as we kept our voice in check, not hollering or talking loud, he would listen. With my mom, whatever she said WENT… that’s how it was. LOL Thinking about it now, this is why me and my siblings are very opinionated because for one, we weren’t allowed to fight, and for two, we could express how we felt. So now that we’re all grown….. we ALL have a hard time learning to control what comes out of our mouths. None of us will curse you out…. but we’d keep going until WE feel our point has been made.
 
 
Which brings me to this. Being a Christian is hard work. You have to always be in position to represent Christ. And yes its hard. You can’t say what you want to say. And if you do, as a Christian, you have to learn NOT to OFFEND… but to make sure you get the point across, so that they’ll get the message. No matter how much you smile, speak to people with a friendly tone, people will still try you. Thing is, you have to really work on keeping yourself together. Its one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn. Its very hard. Right now in my life, I don’t know if I’m just going through something and I feel a little more sensitive, or is it that I’ve ignore things that really should be put to an end. Side talking, smart mouth people, who have always been this way have really gotten it from me lately. I’m just not dealing with it anymore. It’s a SHAME how much I let get pass me, for the sake of “trying to stay friends/cool”. Makes me feel that friendships ended long time ago, and that I was the one holding it together by “salt coating” and changing the subject for the sake of arguing or having a debate. #donewiththat
 
 
With me coming to that conclusion….. I wonder sometimes if I’m a good person? Am I pleasing God? I wonder if I’m going to far, or if I over reacting. I’ve also notice how humble I can be. I have a habit of explaining something till there is nothing left. LOL I’ve been catching myself to say little as possible. People don’t need to know everything I KNOW. Most people don’t even care. Wow… the less I say.. the more people want to know. That’s funny.
 
 
Okay I’m rambling. I think too much. 
 
Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Life Lesson………….. Crees Blog Entry

2011-11-06 16-19-41.856
*Me driving in the video one Summer *  Without going into details.. For the last year and a half… I have been though a lot. Mainly with life changes nothing concerning my health, just life changing things to get me out of my comfort zone. My family is fine,  and my daughter. It was ME… who needed to learn the LIFE LESSON.
I see things from a different eye. I’m not as sensitive. I feel so strong and so BOSSED UP. Where ever God is taking me… I know for a fact… that I have to be a Strong Woman of God. I am so strong, and so not into the mess and small talk. I am really proud of myself. I am really strong.
I’m so sick of Whining Wimpy Women… attention needing to be on them Women. I’m not dealing with a lot of stuff no more. I’m just NOT!! I’m not putting ANY ENERGY TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING that takes me out of my square.
So……. with that said…… Thank you Jesus for where you are taking me. Thank you for the Life Lesson and the Experience. Its been a bumpy ride…. but you know ME…. I DON’T/WON’T GIVE UP. 🙂 
BE BLESSED
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Feeling Some Kinda Way……………………….Crees Blog Entry

lacreeee
I’m sitting here feeling “some kinda way” I can’t even explain this feeling. It’s this quiet thinking, but not talking feeling. If Nesha was here, she would say… “ma, you look weird”…… what’s on your mind’? I dunno. Usually when I get like this… I’m usually lacking time with God.. or my music. Tonight I think its my music. So, I’m going to lay down soon and let my Ipod put me to sleep.
 
 
I need to get out of this head space that I’m in. Oh yea… its almost the end of the month and my goal was to lose 9 lbs… and I’m at 10. So, that I am excited about. I have LOTS of work to do. Thank God for my beautiful shape… because I can get away with a lot. I can’t wait until it warms up, so that I can do my walking again at the Park. I can’t mess with all those jumping jacks, and hula hoops. LOL
 
 
Even though this “wilderness” that I’m in….. I can’t deny the things I’ve learned. And funny thing is.. had I not been here… I don’t think I would know what I know. That’s something to think about……if your reading and have found yourself here. That’s a Blessing in itself. I look at people, things and situations in a totally new light. Not so much as bad either……. just “differently”. LOL
 
 
Great thing is….. I’m feeling better even after writing this little bit. My break through is coming….and when it happens….. its going to be a loooooong time before I’m in this space again.
 
 
Good Night… Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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My Sister Peedie Crees Blog Entry

peedie
 
Hey,
 
 
I guess I’m in a writing mood tonight. Its cold outside… no school, no work. I’m about to bake me some Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Cookies after writing this and chill out!!! LOL I’m feeling REAL good right about now.
 
 
Even though my circle is small…. I know a lot of people. There was a time that if you didn’t agree with what I’m saying….then I figured why should WE be friends? I would speak to you when I saw you… but I had no intentions on dealing with you again. I’m so glad GOD got on me about that. That’s terrible to be that way just because somebody don’t agree with you. I want to share this story.
 
 
My family LOVES banana pudding. My momma makes it from scratch… She has her double boiler and she gets down. She uses Nabisco Wafers. and pretty yellow ripe bananas. My brother likes it, but not as much as me and my 2 sisters. So this is what she * my mom* does now. She’ll make a BIG GLASS BOWL for the grand kids, my daddy and who ever is over. Then she’ll make MY own bowl, MY SISTER YOLANDA own bowl, and MY SISTER PEEDIE own bowl of banana pudding. My sisters don’t too much care for the bananas, but I LOVE THEM. SO, mines would have them, and they would just have the cookies in theirs.
 
 
I noticed years ago, that when my baby sister Peedie come over to my house she would always want to leave with something of mines. I say to myself.. “why does she always ask me could she have something that she see on my dresser, in the refrigerator, or on my desk. I WOULD GET SO MAD AT HER… because I didn’t understand. This gurl has everything she ever needs. But it was just something about my stuff. So, one day I asked God why does she do that. At one point when I knew she was coming over, I would hide the stuff that I KNEW SHE WOULD ASK FOR. LOL
 
 
God said to me… remember when she was a little gurl she would beg your mother to get YOUR WHOPPINGS for you? I said yeaaa.. we always talk about that. He explained to me how much Peedie loves me. How much she admires me, and how much she listens to my advice. He said you have more of effect on her than you realize. He said don’t say nothing just pay attention to when she come over, and how she listens to you. Pay attention to how she always want your stuff…. just to be apart of it, and not to completely take it away from you. I said wow…. just thinking about certain situations made me think. I never thought about it like that.
 
 
A few weeks ago.. my mom told us that she was making dinner and for all of us to be there around 4 on this one Sunday. Like she always does…. she made US ALL OUR OWN separate banana pudding bowls to take home…. mines with bananas and wafers, my sisters with just wafers. And also one HUGE GLASS BOWL for the others. We all were sitting at the table talking and laughing. My Sister Peedie got up opened the refrigerator and got her bowl out, she took a spoon got a few taste and put it back. Then she got the glass bowl out and made her a tiny tester portion. I laughed in my mind. She sat down first thing she asked me was… did I want some of hers. LOL I ate a little bit. Still thinking about what God told me… I laughed in my mind.
 
 
Then after a hour or 2, she got back up and went to get HER personal bowl out, she got a few spoon fulls then closed it back up. I said to my momma… now watch she OPEN MY BOWL and dig her spoon in mines. We sat and watched her.. it was so funny. God was right. So, as she was putting it back…… I said “Peedie,.. now my momma made us all our separate bowls of pudding…. why you digging in mines”? She started cracking up. She said you know I gotta always taste and go in your stuff. I said but PLEASE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND…. she said its something about YOUR STUFF. I LAUGHED WE all LAUGHED. She said… plus yours have bananas in it…. mine don’t. I said guuuuuuuuurl… the big bowl have bananas in it… you still want mines. We cracked up laughing.
 
 
The point in this is… UNDERSTANDING. Even if we don’t agree or understand why people do what they do, or act a certain way…. ITS OKAY.. Its not a bad thing, ask God for understanding of why they do the things they do. I promise, you will look at that person in a whole different light. I love my sister…. she loves me. I understand her now. Its NOT the STUFF that she wants… its the fact that it belongs to ME.
peedie my baby
 
 
Please watch this VIDEO…. to get a visual picture of UNDERSTANDING.
 


Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Why Women? Crees Blog Entry

TOOBLESSEDTOOBESTRESED
Why Women?
 
 
Why do some women… PRIDE themselves on knowing information about someone. Doing research, talking/listening, finding people who are close to the source for * personal* confirmation. EITHER TO JUST KNOW IT… OR TO SHARE IT WHENEVER THEY FEEL THE NEED TO “PULL IT OUT”.
 
 
Watching NeNe Leakes pull out Natalie Christopher Williams wife/gurlfriend is a prime example of wanting to put Kandi and Kenya “out there”. There is no way, Nene want the viewers to believe that Kandi’s record is squeaky clean. #sowhat People like this…. make sure that if you like someone, and find them to be cool good people… THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE will make sure they share with you what type of people YOU THINK they are…because in their minds…… they’re making sure you’re not being “deceived”. When in reality its not that serious….. but it is to the person who is telling the story to you. They cringe at the fact that YOU find this person to be good people.
 
 
Why will some women…… do anything in their power to let others know… that they were their for YOU… and you wasn’t there for them. Many times people will PRIDE THEMSELVES on making sure that they’re always there for YOU… RAIN, SLEET AND SNOW…..so when they need YOU… you better be there for them. Sad thing is… when Nene tried to make Porsha feel that she’s not a good friend, no matter what Porsha said to her about going through a rough divorce, trying to find a house, moving away from her mom and sister when they clearly wasn’t ready for her to move yet. Nene disregarded the fact that Porsha was having a hard time in her own life….. why would she expect for her to call her with so much going on? Why women fail to just fall back sometimes? I’m very close to my family, and when I’m going through something… ALL I WANT IS GOD. THEY KNOW THIS.. THEY RESPECT MY SPACE. No person can help me. And if you’re going through and you’ve always been there for me… and I share with you MY ISSUES and why I can’t be there for YOU…… FALL BACK.. Let me regroup. Let me get myself together.. I PROMISE to “do you” when I get through my own issue. Women need to STOP depending on PEOPLE SO MUCH to pick up THEIR pieces of their lives, just to hear their stories. I know how it goes…. I use to be the first to call a friend to tell them “what happened”. God was standing in the background begging me to talk to him about it. And when I realized that NOBODY OWES ME NOT ONE  OF THEIR EARS….. that’s when I turned to God.. and never turned back. Please get some where on your knees and face to seek God. Nene feelings were either “really hurt”….. because she realized that Porsha didn’t look at her as a “go to person”.. or she just wanted to run a guilt trip in her vulnerable state of mind.    I’m proud of Porsha.
One of my favorite songs
 
Be Blessed
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Inside the crazy mind of Ms. Walker

babies in shapes
A mother and father finds out that they’re expecting a baby
 
everyone is excited
 
they call up everyone and tell them of the good news
 
later on in the pregnancy they  find out what sex the baby is
 
the baby moves for the first time… and its pure excitement
 
a baby shower is planned
 
gifts are bought, food is served, games are played
 
the labor begins
 
lots of pain
 
the baby is born and the pain is no longer remembered
 
the first eye to contact with baby and parents are breath taking
 
they promise to love and protect the baby
 
 
 
Now, I could go on and on with the stages of life… but I’ll stop here for a reason. How does a mother and father go through these stages but someplace between the beginning and the growing years, they grow up to be disrespectful, killers, thieves and other things that are NOT good. I just sit back and wonder….WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED? I just don’t get it.
 
 
Be Blessed
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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King Solomon….. TRUTH….. Crees Blog Entry

So, its late, and I’m sitting here reading the Bible. I figured my “wondering mind” would pay more attention if I listened to the audible version on Ecclesiates.
I’m sitting here CRACKING UP.. God knows how to make me laugh.. when really I feel like “can’t even put it into words” right now. Here Solomon is the WISEST man of us all. And after building, doing, and drinking everything he could…. he still felt like… THIS IS meaningless. He said no matter what…. its like chasing the wind. No one is ever satisfied. Try to imagine HIM as it is read to you. Set up  the scene in your head.. Enjoy
 
 
Read it in DRAMATIC FORM AS YOU HEAR IT.
 
 

Ecclesiastes 2

New International Version (NIV)

Pleasures Are Meaningless

2 I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless. 2 “Laughter,” I said, “is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?” 3 I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives.

4 I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. 5 I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. 6 I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. 7 I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. 8 I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and a harem[a] as well—the delights of a man’s heart. 9 I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my labor,
and this was the reward for all my toil.
11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.

Wisdom and Folly Are Meaningless

12 Then I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom,
and also madness and folly.
What more can the king’s successor do
than what has already been done?
13 I saw that wisdom is better than folly,
just as light is better than darkness.
14 The wise have eyes in their heads,
while the fool walks in the darkness;
but I came to realize
that the same fate overtakes them both.

15 Then I said to myself,

“The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?”
I said to myself,
“This too is meaningless.”
16 For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!

Toil Is Meaningless

17 So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 18 I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. 19 And who knows whether that person will be wise or foolish? Yet they will have control over all the fruit of my toil into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. 20 So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. 21 For a person may labor with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then they must leave all they own to another who has not toiled for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 22 What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? 23 All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless.

24 A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26 To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Brain juice…………Crees Blog Entry

id cree
From the “Crazy mind of Cree”.
 
 
Just sitting up here thinking about how people will do everything in their power not to use their own brains.
When I was working at Walmart customers would come right in from off the streets and say ” Excuse me can you tell me what aisle is the cheese in”? Me: Yes, take this center aisle down and make a right. Customer: Well what side is it on, and do you know how much cream cheese cost”? And I would just look at them with a stupid look and say to myself… “You just aint gone use none of your brain juice today are you? So now I have to use mines up ON YOU…. myself, and customers… so at the end of the day I’m left with 2%, and you still at 98%. Now I have to go to bed early to recharge, while you stay up all night FULLY LOADED.
 
 
Being a Christian is hard work!!!
 
 
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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Today, LaCrease Crees Blog Entry

godsgurlcreeToday, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …

it’s time you remembered who you really are.

You are not your wallet, your job, your kids, your house. You are not your activities or your worries or the labels other people give you. Like an actor you play these roles, and like a good actor you sometimes forget who you really are. Time to wake up now, and remember that you are a being of immense power and breathtaking beauty created in the image of God.

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God wants me to know…….Crees Blog Entry

ilovecreeToday, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …

you need to maintain a balance between your needs and others’ needs.

Yes, it’s not an easy balance to keep, but try you must. Give too much, drain yourself, and there is nothing left only bitter space. Give too little, become a cork, and you block the flow of God’s love through you. Keep on balancing.

 

This is the truth. I am truly balancing. It was hard for me in the beginning but I’m finding it FUN to do things for myself. I am NOT GOD…..just like I have to go to him….. I will be directing all others to do the same. Oh yes….. there will be CHANGES.

 

This song is for ME…

 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
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