Tag: Love

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How I Gained Back My Self Esteem/ PART 2/BLOG

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I was 24 years old (( 6 years in)) when I FINALLY came to my MIND. When I started talking to God about what I was going through. I thought that I would never get over my daughters father. The more sex I had with him, the more I loved him. That’s when I found out that SEX was the soul-tie that kept my mind on this man. The first thing I learned I had to do was, stop the sex. It was so hard. So so so very hard. Every time I saw him, we were a magnet and I had to give it to him. I knew if I could just stop the sex then I would be able to get over him. Sad thing about it,  I knew in my heart that he had to do something terrible to me, to turn me off from him, and that would be how I would be able to walk away. Its a shame that in order for me to get over this man, something bad had to happen. We never fought EVER, so I knew it wouldn’t be that, but it was something, and  when it happened…..I knew then that I had to let him go.

I started reading my Bible and separating myself from my friends to be more in tuned with God. I started reading how much God loved me no matter what I did. In my mind he was in charge of my LIFE. He was the man I had to please, and that’s when I started learning my worth. I was never a person who compared myself to other women, because it was clear to me that GOD MADE EVERYONE DIFFERENT. I enjoyed and loved the fact that I WAS THE ONLY ONE MADE LIKE ME. You can say, I favor this person or that person, but I was the ONLY LACREASE GOD MADE…and that made me HAPPY. So that alone made me NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want or desire to be like anyone else,  because I KNEW.. that God loved me enough to make ONLY ONE of me, and I love ME.

Then, I had to learn and write down all the things God Blessed me with. I had to read it daily. I had to learn my worth all over again. I had to know it without a doubt. I had to live it. I had to think it, I had to see it ON ME. And here is what I started with.

NOW THIS IS MYYYYYYYYYY LIST…. you make your own list. Remember we are all different.

  • I grew up with both parents in the home, and they helped me with everything I needed.
  • I  got my  first apartment me and my daughter, and a job.
  • I was funny, loved people, loved to laugh and pretty
  • I had a beautiful shape, and wore clothes to compliment my body (( never disrespectful))
  • Had lots of friends and loved the Lord

One of the biggest conclusions IN MY LIFE that God helped me come to was that MEN wanted SEX. What I ( women)  have the men want !!! I had to learn the POWER in it. I learned it was OK to keep it to myself…. its mine. We women don’t have to give it away. Its so much POWER in the vagina. Its not to be shared with everyone. Its yours and all the boys want it. No! No! No! Learn this TODAY! You do NOT have to  give up your vagina.

Fast forward to today. I spend time with myself learning myself daily. Learning my wants/needs and don’t need. Learning things I will NOT ACCEPT. For example.. Married Men.

I met this guy at my job, he comes in often and he calls me “Momma cool”… why I dunno. This man is soooooo fine to me. He’s attracted to me and I’m attracted to him. He’s my type of man IF he wasn’t married. Now, I will NEVER EVER talk, meet, or see this man outside of my job. I will not engage in any conversation with a him or any married man, unless its work related, or God. That’s apart of building my self esteem. KNOWING WHO I AM. My self esteem stays ON 100 because I will not engage in anything not healthy for me and will disappoint God, especially when I know better.When you start crossing lines and doing things out of YOUR CHARACTER, that’s when your self esteem start going DOWN DOWN DOWN. Depression sets in, suicide, doubt , fear all that stuff starts to creep in. Cut off any thing that YOU KNOW is not good for you, because if you don’t you’ll find yourself in trouble. Stay inside of your worth!!! Married MEN ARE OFF LIMITS.. PERIOD! Once you exchange phone numbers….. THAT’S IT!

Take trips. Go to the park alone to spend time with God. Clear your mind. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.. MAKE IT HAPPEN! Go to lunch alone, you dont have to take the kids all the time. Think about yourself. Whats your favorite desert? Go to Dairy Queen alone. Stop feeling guilty because you didn’t take the kids this time.. ITS OKAY. I promise you. Go to Bath and Body Works and buy not one but 4 different scents of lotions, its OKAY. Learn what you like and will  buy the next time you visit. I will book a hotel an hour away from me in a minute! Book a room for the weekend. Have someone to watch the kids… Go alone, make plans to do things while you’re there.

Listen… I will jump in my car and go to the park and sit for hours in the sun enjoying myself. I may have music or I talk to God. I use to be “scared” to go to dinner alone, because I always took my daughter or a friend… YEAH OKAY… I WILL hop in the car and go sit my but down alone so fast. I love getting to know myself. I love me. God made me and there is no one else like ME, and guess what… JUST AS I LEARNED THIS ABOUT ME…. YOU CAN TOO!!! Be your own “to do list”…. life is not about having Sex all the time, sitting on the porch watching cars ride by, going neighbor to neighbor needing someone to go shopping with you. Get to learn yourself, know what you will and will NOT ACCEPT from a friendship, or relationship. Do YOUR own thang in your spare time, and treat yourself. ITS OKAY!!!

Be Blessed!

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How I Lost And Gained Back My SELF ESTEEM/BLOG/PART 1 OF 2

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When I think about my purpose in life sometimes, all I can think of is that I’m suppose to be helping other women. I say that because no matter where I am, or what I’m doing, women always talk to me, and its usually about their issues with themselves, men, and getting over past hurt.

I can remember so clearly many things I’ve been through, and I’m so happy that I don’t hold grudges at all. Maybe that’s why I can help others because I’ve moved on from so many things, and it just doesn’t bother me anymore. I can talk about it and help others at the same time.

With social media being so popular these days women often compare themselves to others, and that is a NO NO. They look at other women and what they have in a man, and how their body is shaped and they care so much in how to please a man, that they lose themselves. Sex these days is  to show off their sexual skills, and to be one of the first to do things differently to a man to make him feel good. Why are women doing this? Listen, when you start a job, you are a temp. You have to get past 90 days to impress your boss and even more days at some jobs to get benefits. Why are women giving these trial men benefits? What have they done to deserve all of that?  A woman will let a man come and stay with her and her kids after knowing him a month. But a man  will not even think about letting a woman come stay with him. Some of these men just wake up in the morning, and their is a women to do everything for him on that day. He won’t have to do a thing but breathe, and have sex with her. A woman who has no kids at him, living single, will NEVER let a man come stay with her. She loves and enjoys her freedom. He’ll have to have his own thing going on.

Some women are afraid to lose a man,  especially if she feels she doesn’t have a “grip” on him.  Sometimes women feel that if they don’t make happy the man they like, he’ll get away. This is why they’re settling for the man who show  the most attention. Who wants to stay with a man who cheats? Why do women give these men so many chances? Don’t they know that if a woman cheat on her man, and he finds out about it, he will DISS HER IN A NEW YORK MINUTE? Men don’t play that? They cannot stand the thought of another man up in their woman. No way! Women with low self esteem are the ones who give chance after chance, after chance after chance. They’re so afraid of being alone and not ever finding the right man, they will settle for a temporary until better comes along.

In the next blog entry, I will share my story of how I got my self esteem BACK!

Next Part 2.. How I built my self esteem up

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Learning your kids PERSONALITY!/BLOG

PRETTYNES

When my daughter was a young gurl, I use to always scream like most parents when they lose it. But after a short while, I realize that she was JUST LIKE ME, she didn’t require screaming. She required that “come here, let me look you in the eye” kinda speech. Screaming made me nervous as it does most kids. It made me cry, and to this day…. I will NEVER tolerate A N Y  O N E screaming at me, if you can’t talk to me in a pleasant tone of voice, then WE’RE DONE!!!. I don’t play that, at all.. PERIOD!

I found out with kids, you HAVE to learn their personality. That’s part of being a parent. Every child is different, and based off how they take things, and how they receive, you have to parent based upon that. When my daughter got home from school. She would speak and go straight to her room. But me as a parent made sure, I called her down to my face and I asked her how was your day? She’s just like me, so you’ll only get what you ask for, you have to ask her specifics… WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? LOL If I’m talking to her over the phone, that’s even worst, Again, its something I learned about her. So, I found out that if I want to know about the mercury scare she had in high school (( real life)). I have to ask her, what floor was it on? Where we’re you? Did you exit out of the front door, side or back door? Was anybody hurt? We’re you scared? What was your thoughts? Do you feel staff handled it properly? This series of questions gets her talking, and she’ll feel compel to share more of what happened once she see’s how it interest me. I had to learn that about her. The point I’m making in all of this is, you have to ask your kids questions. If you don’t they will go to their rooms, hop on their phones and BLOCK YOU OUT OF THEIR WORLD. As they get older, you’ll KNOW NOTHING! Start early, so they know that you’re that kinda parent that ask questions.

Kids already look at us as “OLD” so in order to keep up with them, we have to go to “their world”, we have to learn a few songs of their generations, we have go to see “their” movies, we have to meet their friends, and build our own relationship with them. We have to take them on family trips… out of town. They will remember this when they’re older. Kids take money and time. You want to know you did your best, so that when they’re grown, you won’t have to worry about them taking care of themselves.

Be Blessed!

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Deep Conversations/BLOG

Hey family!

You know if you keep on living you will learn so many life lessons. I have learned a lot, and even if I don’t speak on it, I have. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself for not seeing friendships that was not meant to be, even through the warnings. Ah, the warnings.. SMH. But that is years behind me and again, keep on living and you will learn a thing or two. I’m good!

This week, I was having deep DEEP DeEp conversations with my cousins who are all Sisters about my uncle (( their dad))) who passed away many years ago. He was my dad’s best friend and as we were growing up, even though their mom and my uncle was divorced, me and my sister  would go over to their house and spend nights with them. I loved them and looked up to them, because they are all so pretty, came from a good family, and loved being around us. But all of that time as a young gurl, I thought that they were seeing their dad often, because I did. I was young, so of course I didn’t know anything about bickering ex’s, kids, child support and all of that. I remember my youngest cousin of the sisters (( she’s older than me)) use to always ask me have I seen her dad, and my answer would be yes. I would tell her when he came over, and things like that. She would be so excited to hear my stories. I grew up with both of my parents in the home, so I didn’t know why she was so into asking me questions, but now I know that she was missing her dad. But I always thought they saw him as often as I did.

We were having a deep conversation about it, and come to find out they didn’t see him that often. That sadden me, and told me that things weren’t as it seem when I was growing up. How is it that I’m seeing their dad more than they were? When we talked about it, it made ME feel some kinda way. I learned something so deep. They felt that he didn’t love them the way he should have.  And I know he loved them, but I don’t know how they didn’t feel it. Well, I understand their views. I was shocked. And the funny thing is, these sisters are just like mines, WE ARE VERY VERY STRONG WOMEN, with strong opinions, and personalities . Get all 6 of us together on a topic we split on, and its on and poppin. LOL

Back in the day grown folks business was grown folk business. I told them, that whenever he came over, we went to our rooms, or went outside to play. Even though I saw him with my dad, I didn’t know their business or what they talked about. They felt that just because I saw him, I knew things. I didn’t. I was a young gurl myself. It made me feel some kinda way, because they are all grown women and even though 2 of them haven’t completely healed from the hurt, the baby did. She found closure and I’m happy.

Here is the biggest thing. Even though their mom and dad had a bad divorce, and he may not have been the best dad, he was THE BOMB GRANDDAD TO THEIR KIDS. OMG HE HAD THOSE KIDS EVERY WEEKEND. He loved his grandkids, and even though they are grown, today they still feel the effects of his death.

Now, what my baby cousin was saying (( she’s older than me)) is that God spoke to her concerning the healing and closure that she needed. My grandmother was a young mother who had 7 kids, she wanted to work and be in the streets leaving my uncles and aunts with their dad, and her mother. The brothers were bitter about that, maybe grew up and not know how to be close to their kids, not knowing how to communicate or whatever skills they lacked from not having their mother around. My cousin get that, she doesn’t excuse it, but she feels that with the tools he had, he did the best he knew how. My two other cousins feel that he should have done better and knew better. and to make matters worst, he had a girlfriend before he died who was also very close to their kids, who didn’t offer or give them anything of their dads when he passed away. She had everything. I asked my cousin why didn’t she ask her, she felt that it should have been offered.. NOT HER ASKING. Wow I felt differently about that, but then again I cant say because this is not my story and it didn’t happen to me. I would have asked and listened to her say NO, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, so that later on in life she would feel guilty of holding on to all those things she had of his and not have the man… not to mention he was a Atheist. She’ll never hold or see him again.

In the end, we love each other, and I hope that my two cousins find closure. One said sorry she just isn’t there yet, and I got that. One thing I learned is that things arent always what they seem. You think people are happy and have everything under control, but in REAL LIFE its not that way. I felt my uncle loved them, but he didn’t know how to express love when he didn’t get it from his mom. For me, it made my dad love his family and made sure that we were close, didn’t fist fight each other, and to be there for each other no matter what. Two brothers lived in the same house, grew up and saw things differently. I know in my heart he loved them, I just wish they knew it.

 

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Just things/BLOG

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Today is a good day. I’m writing down my thoughts. Things that’s on my mind, things I need to do, things I think about for my future. Just things.

Last night, I was thinking about how we want something so badly and never realize that we already had/ have it. Sometimes it takes years and years and years to realize it. You will only know when you come to a place of peace in all areas of your life. You will look back and see that it was already there. Already yours. Wow, that’s so huge for me. Today I smile, with Love in my heart. I’m happy.  The next level will be even greater. I’m looking forward to it. Thank you Jesus, Thank you Lord.

Next year this time I plan to put together a Women’s Gathering. I use to have these all the time at my home. I’m glad to get back to it. We would have a great time. People always ask me about putting together more of them.  I want to be mentally and physically ready for this challenge. I’m a Virgo so you already know we like our things in ORDER. I don’t play a put together gathering, and a skimpy menu. All my life I’ve worked with teens in my home, or at a school, I love my teens, but I see a lot of work needs to be done with the parents, and with Women in general. Women are just allowing anything to take place in their lives and in their presence. Accepting any and everything that’s offered to us that we feel we can’t do ourselves.

You want to know what the hard part for me is? The HARD PART. Its the fact that I was one of those women with low self esteem, dealing with a man that sold drugs, being attracted to that life at an early age when I lived on the one sided block with the Chamber Brothers (( New Jack City Movie)), because they were my friends. Dealing with drama from my daughters father at an early age. Loved to date married men. I always made my own money so I was NEVER influence by that life. For me it was being in the mist of it all.

The HARD PART FOR ME… is that now that I’m no longer living that life at all PERIOD. I talk to women day in and day out, and its so HARD getting women to understand their worth. Its so hard. Sometimes I ask God, how did I end up with this job? LOL I say that because I never knew that through all my pain in those days that God could USE ME to help OTHER women, when I went through the same thing. Like, how am I in this position to help others?  Me? I guess its because I’ve been through it. I know all the twist and turns, the mind games, the manipulation, the ups and downs, the late night cries, early morning prayer for myself to be healed. I know it all. I still wonder how did I escape with my mind. Because I was CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY back in my twenties. LOL I guess that’s what makes me the best candidate. And for some reason I LOVE DOING WHAT I DO.

When I put together this gathering its going to be talked about for months and years to come ! I’m a VISUAL person and what I have planned is going to take it to another level in WOMEN GATHERINGS. I betcha!

I’m closing for now Be Blessed!

I am La’Crease and I don’t have to do anything else!

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Focus on ME/BLOG

Today, I decided that I was going to focus on ME. I listen and help a lot of people with my Spiritual advice, but I feel that I have neglected myself. Not in a bad way, but enough to say…..Okay, its my turn.  I’m going to listen to ME.

There are things that I want to accomplish, and things I want to do. I am traveling more and I love that about myself. Already I’m paying on my trip back to the Bahamas. I’m also going to Jamaica, and Mexico. I’ll be leaving for Atlanta next month, and I plan to go to Vegas for the first time next year. I’ll be 50 this year, and still haven’t made plans. I don’t want to have a party. I know a lot of people and there is no way I can afford to host a party that huge, people would be left out, I just don’t have the money for all of that. So, I just may do something for family and that’s it. Traveling is everything to me. I enjoy packing my suitcase, buying new outfits and sandals. I enjoy everything associated with it.

Its so hard making new chances when it comes to myself. Why? I don’t know. I have very high self esteem. I don’t talk about others, I uplift and encourage all.  I’ll feel as if I’m being selfish, because I’m so use to helping out others. Well its too late because I’m already in the process of working on me and my body. YesssszAAAAAAAA

I’m closing for now, chat later.

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Higher Is Waiting Hardcover – November 14, 2017

by Tyler Perry (Author)
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Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

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Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

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Open letter to the BRAXTON SISTERS .. STEP MOMMA WANDA/BLOG

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First of all I must say I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE watching The Braxtons. I love Sisterhood, because I have my own 2 Sisters who I just love and adore, along with our only brother. Many times I wish I had more siblings because I enjoy the different opinions coming from each sister.

The reason why I’m writing this  is because of the last episode when The sisters had dinner their dad and his wife. I am SURELY on the outside looking in and I wanted to share some things with the sisters.

I grew up with both my parents in the home, they’ve been married for 50 years this coming July 5. Even though they’re separated and living ALONE in the same senior building in different apartments, they are still best friends. I  say that to say, I know how it feels to live in the home with both parents and to have them love us all.

I feel so bad that Daddy Braxton didn’t make it to Trina’s wedding. I remember when  she talked about that pain. But when it aired that he wanted his wife to come along and that he was tired of not being able to bring her, because of the pain it caused Momma Braxton, I cried. I cried because he wanted to be there, he wanted to so badly. I can only imagine how it feels not to be able to bring my husband to ANY function or event. But this is the part that got me. Daddy Braxton wife Wanda WANTED him to go any way. She knew she wasn’t wanted/invited there, but still unselfishly she told HER husband to go anyway. She could have been like many other STEP MOTHERS who are evil,  that’ll say… if I can’t go,  you cant either. Not only that, when she walked out, he wanted to go with his wife, but she told him once again…. STAY WITH YOUR KIDS, ILL GO. YALL MISSED THAT! SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH..

Daddy Braxton was fed up… and I DONT BLAME HIM. He went to several events without Step Momma Braxton, at some point, he was like wait a minute… I know how my ex wife feels, I know how my daughters feel, its time to move on and accept the fact that I am know longer married to your mom, and that I am remarried. No one wanted to meet him half way. That’s not fair to him at all. PERIOD. Trina, you not once considered your dad’s feeling, because it was all about YOU AND NOT HURTING YOUR MOTHERS FEELING. You NOT had it in your heart to meet YOUR dad half way. You disregarded and disrespected the fact that he is no longer married to your mother, and wanted to bring his wife for HIS comfort, HIS enjoyment of the party, and HIS happiness. It was all about Trina. And I know it was fun blaming Step Momma Wanda along the way for HIM not coming. Yes, he should have explained to you that he was fed up not being able to bring her, but I wondered if you would have gave in and allowed him to bring his wife, knowing how your mom felt about his presence. Hmm.

Somebody has GOT TO STEP UP, and help Momma Braxton to a place of healing. She can no longer go on living her life in silent pain. His very presence makes her uncomfortable. I know it has to bring back memories for her. I get that. I get that she was living this happy life with 6 beautiful kids, and didn’t see divorce coming. But the pain is too evident in her facial expression, her speech, and her body language when he’s around. Help her!!! Its like the Sisters bandage up her pain. She has to deal with her feelings from the past. Anytime you have these GROWN SISTERS who many of them have been divorced with kids, want their dad and their mom to take “family” trips and  the dad can’t invite HIS wife. That is not only CRAZY but its selfish and inconsiderate of HIS feelings. Stop being DISTRESSFUL TO YOUR DADS WIFE PRESENCE!! Stop making this man pay for his divorce from your mom. This man should not have to go through this anymore. He’s 70 years old, and let me say this…. I DONT GIVE A DAYUM WHO GETS MAD……yall are too grown to not see how childish and immature this is. Stop making your dad pay for his mistakes. Cause baaaaaaaaby wouldnt you all like to hear from your grown children the mistakes you’ve made with divorce, FAME, TIME , OH YESSSSSS JESUS… YOU ALL WILL HAVE YOUR TURNS WITH YOUR GROWN CHILDREN…. SOON AND VERY SOON. On all the things you THOUGHT you were doing SO RIGHT!!! OHHHH YESSS BRAXTON SISTERS YOUR TURNS ARE COMING. Forgive your dad for everything, your kids are watching.

There is going to come a time, when Daddy Braxton is gone. These sisters are going to have to go to his wife for his personal things they may want. This could be her BEST revenge. No money, fame, TV show, or court can make her give up anything that belongs to HIM/HER from THEIR HOUSE. You didn’t want to have ANYTHING to do with her then,  but you will later.  And you better hope, the sister who has a relationship with Step momma Wanda, shares with you all. UNLESS SELFISHNESS HAS COME TO YOUR HEARTS AND SPOILED WHAT BELONGS TO YOU.  But they’re going to see how beautiful of a person she is. All things will come from her HEART.  Even though she was treated like crap, her heart will be open for these gurls, JUST BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT  HER HUSBAND loved them FIRST-  and she followed suit.

They’re going to want to hear stories of how much he loved his kids. How much he talked about them. How much he loved his grandkids. Oh yes, there will be lots of tears. Tears of how they wish the conversation would have been different at that dinner table. Thinking how selfish Tamar was acting when she tried to geek Trina up about how he made a ‘CONSCIENCE” decision NOT to go to her wedding. How could TRINA AND TAMAR missed the point he was making when he said because he was tired of going to functions without his wife. Nobody wanted to meet him halfway on that part, all they thought about was themselves and their momma. I love me some Trina, but not once did she think about HER DAD AND HIS FEELINGS, it was all about her and her wedding day. She was busy thinking about hers, and her MOTHER feelings, and at some point Daddy Braxton said, WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? YES, I love my daughters, but I will NOT spend another day paying for the divorce WITH THEM, that I had with my EX wife. Free your daddy. PLEASE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE! PLEASE FREE HIM FROM THE PAST AND HELP HIM LIFE THE REST OF HIS DAYS IN PEACE WITH ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE APART OF IT.

Tamar… Tamar, Tamar… Listen boo. I use to get up grab my keys and be OUT at the first sign of a sister debate. OUT. Im the oldest just like Toni. I cant do that anymore. We have to pick up the pieces and see THE BIGGER PICTURE. When she made every speech, I wanted to jump in the TV and kiss her. Let me say this to you….. You have a son now and working on another child. The work you are putting in to make a future for your son is wonderful, Im 50 I get it. You love Logan.. (( with his handsome self)) BUT BABY SISTER BRAXTON….. as hard as you were on your dad, made me CRYYYYYYYYY. There’s going to come a time.. You’re going to explain to Logan how much you love him, and how much time you spent working to make it happen for him, and its going to be all talk for him. He’s going to share with you how he felt in your absence and how he just wanted YOU. Just in the heart of your explaining your love, he’s going to get up and walk out. Just then you are going to flash back to not only your dad, but to all the times you bust up in the middle of debates with your sisters. Just as you need to let your dad off the hook.. OOOOOOOOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.. you are going to want Logan to do the same thing for you when you explain the fame you wanted, and how all he wanted was YOU.. Oh yesss sistergurl baby Braxton, your turn awaits you. All I ask is that you have the answers for him.

Please get Momma Braxton some help. I LOVE HER.. She reminds me of my momma SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much. She has got to come to a place where she can talk about it and keep it moving. And please don’t do Stepmomma Wanda like that, yall gon need her… WATCH WHAT I TELL YA.

 

BE BLESSED!

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Being the Oldest/BLOG

When I was growing up I use to ask God why do I have to be the oldest? Why didn’t I have a big sister or brother to lean on and talk too? Why do I have to look out for my siblings and set the example? Why do my parents always look to MEEEEEEEEEE to make sure they’re okay if they weren’t around ? I hated the responsibility of  looking after them. I just hated that as the oldest. HATED IT! UGH

Now that I’m 4 months away from being 50.. I SEE WHY GOD MADE ME THE OLDEST. Even though I’m opinionated. I realize that I’m wired differently. I have always looked at the bigger picture. I can see set backs, benefits, consequences, greatness, trouble… I see it all. Where my siblings may look at the NOW. Yes, even though we are all different, I see that my personality bring a balance to us as siblings.

While they call me BOSSY, I can sit back and not speak a word. Sometimes even as adults when we have debates and our parents tell us to SHUT THE HELL UP… I am the oldest and they DO listen to me. Still till this day.. Its just amazing how I can see why God made me the oldest.

If one sibling is mad at the other, they always want to know what I THINK. And some times, I’m like figure it out on your own, why do yall always want and need MY opinion? They say because I give good advice and  peacemaker of the family. While that is true, I’m leaning to cut back on my opinion. I’m learning that being quiet sometimes is best. Being the oldest and being quiet about something is when my siblings REALLY WORK IT OUT. Because they don’t know how I feel about the situation. ((LOL)) And I think they have a need to please me, especially when it comes to getting along. They know I don’t play that staying mad days and days. NO WAY!!! Not in this family. Not as me being the OLDEST. They know I will drive to their homes, and make them talk about it.

When it comes to the family functions which we have quite often.. I’m usually the one along with my baby sister who does the planning. My middle siblings just bring what we ask. Its funny because it has always been like that. My baby sister is always on the page with me. We plan everything. The middle two… just play along. LOL

What’s funny is, if we’re planning a function and I have to work, OMG they’ll have a fit! They act like they cannot function without me being there. My mom will call me, my dad, nieces, siblings wanting to know why I cant come.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. GOD HANDPICKED THEM JUST FOR ME!! I am the oldest and I get it now! Thank you Jesus.

LaCrease

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My Second Oldest Sister

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My Brother

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My baby Sister

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I AM LaCrease, and I don’t have to do anything else!

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My niece baby shower/BLOG

Hey

My niece had a baby shower on Sunday and it was so nice.  I can’t believe she’ll be 22 years old this year. I witness her BIRTH, and its hard to fathom that she has graduated from high school, working a good job, AND A GROWN WOMAN!!!!!

This was her boyfriends first time attending a shower , but what’s funny is that he didn’t think they would get ANY gifts . He thought that because he had no idea how baby showers went, that people wouldn’t bring anything. So when he first found out he was going to be a dad, he went out and bought EVERYTHING.  When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. Not only him, but his mom. They for real, REAL lost their minds buying gifts. When he saw all the gifts they had gotten, not to mention take home, he was so HAPPY and so SURPRISED. He had no idea how many people would show up and buy so many gifts. I’m happy for them both.

It was my second time meeting him and I really like him. I can see them marrying in the future. She really loves him and he loves her. They have the best chemistry. I really enjoyed watching them open gifts together.

Here are some photos from their shower.

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Her BFF

Her Mom, ( my baby sister) and her BFF

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I AM La’Crease and I don’t have to do ANYTHING ELSE

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