Tag: me

Posted on

Losing yourself in a MAN/BLOG

Image result for low self esteem in a relationship

Hey!

I was talking to one of my closes friends a few days ago about how she should make it her business to be around couples who are doing well for themselves  ((mainly husband and wives)) so that she can see how it LOOKS to be happy. She’s going through a WHOLE lot with her on and off again children’s father, and it kills me to see her this way. I believe with all my heart that she has lost herself in this man, and just don’t know how to get out. She’s a beautiful person, sweet as pie, but she allows herself to be mistreated and FINALLY she’s starting to see his true colors.

I know what its like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you or what you bring into the relationship to take it to another level. Yes, I had my faults too, but in the end, I saw that he just wasn’t for me….. and that’s okay.

Coming to the conclusion that someone is not for you, is one of the hardest things for women. They know deep down in their hearts that the man they love is not for them, but they stay and HOPE things change. At some point, you gotta say this is it. That time comes when you start to feel that your self-esteem is low and not building, you cry easily, your feelings are  hurt, you find yourself wondering what he’s doing (( especially if he has a history of cheating)), you’re checking his FB page for new women or subliminal stats, going through his phone and texts. That’s not how you live life. That’s not how a good healthy  relationship should go.

If you haven’t seen your man in a few days, and  he see’s you, he starts going thorough your phone, watch out for him! Because if he feels you can and will do something sneaky within those days you both haven’t seen each other, then he needs to be VERIFIED as well.. Um cuse me! Again…… this is NOT how healthy relationships grow. Not good.

Look at Donald Trump. You see the way his wife pulled away from him as they exit the plane? Clearly a sign of manipulation going on in the relationship. She is not happy in that marriage. She probably feels that now he’s the President, he exercises even MORE Power, and feels there is no way out without retaliation from the public and especially from HIM.  Relationships and friendships should be happy. Yes, there will be problems, issues, misunderstandings and things of that nature. But to help in the loss of self-esteem, is not something ANYONE should experience.

In closing ask yourself.. DO I LOVE ME? What is it about me that allows him to treat me this way? What am I doing over and over again to allow this to continuously happen? If I leave him, what do I THINK he will do to me? Am I scared? Ask God to show you a pattern of his behavior. Tell yourself, that YES its going to be hard at first, then ask yourself can you eventually get over him? Tell and REMIND yourself that YOU WILL have to give up something (((( money, car, nice home, comfort, sex with HIM, security ))) for your PEACE. If you want to talk to me about your situation please feel free to email me DIRECTLY  longnosenikon@gmail.com  

I am LACREASE, and I dont have to do anything else!

Image may contain: 1 person, closeup

 

 

Posted on

GOD Chose MEEEEEEEEEE…. CREEEEE?/BLOG

concert4

Hello Family 🙂

Today I was laying in the bed thinking about how God works in my life. Its so unreal, makes me smile and LAUGH at the same time. When I was 19, I was so in LOVE with my daughter’s father. God told me that I LOVED that man, more than I LOVED him. I was devastated when God said that to me one day as I was washing dishes. Because for some reason, I felt it may have been true… not on purpose… but maybe a fact. I didn’t like that one bit, and I MADE SURE I DIDN’T LOVE ANY MAN like that EVER again. I know how to LOVE.. because I learned it from my parents and growing up with close siblings. So after God revealed that to me, I continued to show men LOVE… because its in me. While they thought I LOVED them so hard (((  but I was just loving how I was taught))).. they ALL were disappointed, sad, and in a state of disbelief when the relationship was over, and I walked away like a car tore up in a accident, with no scratches on my body. That’s one thing about me that I LOVE….. I can walk away and never look back… all while STILL LOVING you at the same time… but in a “out of your life” way.

I LOVE GOD MORE THAN ANYTHING… and just because I show you the LOVE and LOYALTY you may not have experienced from someone else outside of your family… doesn’t  mean LACREASE WALKER won’t walk away like I never knew you…. because I CAN….in a way that will make you ask yourself… “Did she even LOVE me in the first place?” And that answer is…Yes I did/do.

Okay, I got off track. I was so in LOVE with my daughter’s father, that it took me forever to get over him. That was one of the hardest things to do. Back then, there was no social media where you can read up on other stories and then come to the conclusion that this man is not the one for you. We didn’t have access to other women who was going through the same thing to connect with. We had to learn on our own. I was secretive, so a lot of things I went though alone. I didn’t know that SEX was the connection that kept me going back to him. When I cut off sex, I was able to move on. Took me years and years, and years to realize that. But here is the part that got me laughing and talking to God about. He is using MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…. to talk to the broken women who are going through the same thing in this time and day. SO MANY women email me, talk to me in person, send text and other messages about the same thing. At first I was like… “Ok God, why are these ladies coming to me… I had a hard time back in the day trying to get over the LOVE I had for my daughter’s dad?” He said because you are over that, and you are the one who can reach these women. WOW WHAT AN HONOR…. When I think back on those times.. I don’t feel qualified AT ALL!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??????? God are serious? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? CREE?????? I was so broken, hurt, ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, lost, had an abortion, MEAN AND EVIL… any and everything you can think of.. and GOD SENDS ME TO HELP THESE WOMEN?????????? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

I must say… GOD KNOWS BEST…. because I have spoken with SO, SO, SO , SO, SO many women about relationships, hurt and things associated… that this is truly apart of my calling. I am helping these women to find themselves, and to get back to God. Women are a magnet to me when it comes to this area of their lives…. and I love it. I’ve been there. I know the pain. I know the hurt. I know the thoughts and the cries at night. I know it all. I just want to say THANK YOU LORD FOR CHOOSING ME! I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD AND SEND YOUR DAUGHTERS BACK TO YOU, SO THAT YOU CAN SEND THE MAN DESIGNED JUST FOR THEM!!!

I AM La’Crease ((( I don’t have to do anything else)))

FullSizeRender (4)

Posted on

God wants me to know…….Crees Blog Entry

ilovecreeToday, Lacrease, we believe God wants you to know that …

you need to maintain a balance between your needs and others’ needs.

Yes, it’s not an easy balance to keep, but try you must. Give too much, drain yourself, and there is nothing left only bitter space. Give too little, become a cork, and you block the flow of God’s love through you. Keep on balancing.

 

This is the truth. I am truly balancing. It was hard for me in the beginning but I’m finding it FUN to do things for myself. I am NOT GOD…..just like I have to go to him….. I will be directing all others to do the same. Oh yes….. there will be CHANGES.

 

This song is for ME…

 

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Posted on

“WHO R U” Part 1 Cree’s Blog Entry

whoare uAs I sit here cooking dinner… Collard Greens, corn bread and fried chicken, I am reminded of the complete PEACE that I have in my life.

As bad as I want to tell and “share” my dinner with several family members * because I KNOW they will appreciate it* …. God has reminded me that its okay to prepare it and to have it for myself.

For as long as I can remember I have always been the person who spends all day inviting friends * one at a time* over and helping them to sort out the things that’s going on in their life, and even when I wanted to be alone and enjoy my own PEACE… I kept smiling and invited more. I remember so clearly being in my apartment in my early 20’s, washing dishes when I said Lord, I want a Best Friend.. someone who I can talk to, instead of doing all the listening. I heard him loud and clear when he said to me… I am your Best Friend. I said I know God.. but I’m talking about somebody “down here”. Here it is 20 plus years later, and that conversation comes to my mind at least twice a week. I don’t know if I “hurt” his feelings (((smile))) or he knew it was going to come a time when I’d say… NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NEW FRIENDS FOR ME/CREE LORD… IM GOOD!!!!! LOL

I realize that as a child growing up that I’m a very supportive and motherly person. I still do NOT in my adult life know how to balance this in my life. Its like I want to LOVE and HELP everybody. I admit I have gotten so much better with this, because by living on my own, it has helped me to do more for myself. Daily I have to sit quietly and think about ME. Doing what makes me happy. I’m sad sometimes in how much time and energy I put into others, when they were busy “doing them”, or was it that I MADE IT ABOUT THEM? Even though they all APPRECIATE everything, its ME… its ME who need to learn balance. When to offer my help, or to just fall back.

Here’s what I found out….. Part 2 coming tomorrow.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy
Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started