I want to meet my Sister…..*tears* Cree’s Blog Entry

my sisterI want to meet my sister so bad ( in above photo)…. She use to live here and I hate that I wasn’t persistent in meeting her when she was here in Detroit. I go to her FB page all the time… we favor so much. We talk on the phone, but we’ve never met.My dad had her before my mom and dad married. But the way her mom and my dad got together was sneaky as far as how their families  connected… and for years after years it was a secret to her and to us. My dad is so stubborn and wont take a blood test to give her/us CLOSURE. She aint missing nothing * with him*… yeah I said it. But me and my siblings want to meet her, and hug her and LOVE HER.
My dad lives one min from me and we haven’t spoken in almost 2 months. I just don’t get that.

My daughter is so mad at him because he’s so stubborn she told him that she’s not going to answer his calls because of the way he treats his daughters. But I have a sister out there who wants to be around him….. * throws hands in the air* SMH FOR WHAT? I’m so happy that I’m not stubborn. That kinda life keeps you in bondage. I’m so happy that me and my daughter are very close. Praise God…. and I will communicate, do flips and all sorts of things to keep it that way. My dad has always been this way, he use to go months and months without talking to his brother when we were coming up and all living at home. I never paid it any attention…. never knowing that one day it would be me. SMH. It pisses me off sooooo soooooooo so bad that he’s like this. How you not talk to your BROTHER FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS … then when your kids get older, you do them the same way. We all grew up in the same house, don’t you long to hear my voice, my laughter, my smile, my silly ness…. don’t you miss that? Wow… Well let me say this….. my dad has done me/us like this all of our lives, and for once in my life….. I’m so over his behavior. Once so much time has passed…. it doesn’t even bother me. He had issues with his mom. she sold him to his dad in court for $1.00 and I think he hasn’t gotten over that. If I didn’t have God in my life so deep….. I would be some where crying and depressed. He was the very one who taught me, my sisters and brother to be close…. and if NOTHINGGGGGGG else come out of this as God chose him to be my dad…. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS.. THANK YOU LORD FOR HANDPICKING THEM FOR ME!

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Putting away childish things…DONE WITH YOU… Crees’ Blog Entry

CUT YOU OFFHeyyyy Everybody!!! I see the numbers on my blog entries are jumping off the hook! Well, I’m happy someone is reading, I just hope that you get something out of it. A lot of times when someone is having a moment or is going through something, once you read it, you can truly relate. I know I do. This is why I LOVE to read and LOVE to write.

I’ve been doing so, so, so good with my ANGER ISSUES… I guess its not as bad as I thought. When I feel myself getting upset, I’m make sure that I’m conscience of what I’m feeling, my thoughts, and what comes out of my mouth. I’m 46 years old, there comes a time when you put away childish things. I realize that I have the POWER to allow GOD to help me to control the atmosphere. When I open my heart to him, he helps me to come all the way down….. and I like that. I’m sorry I do NOT want to have ANGER stories for the rest of my life. Because if I’m having those issues often…. that’s WHO I AM. #idontthankso

So… my friend who had the fire in his apartment told me what happened. He was waiting on the time to pass so that he could go and visit his daughter for her first week back to school, he lit a cigarette and fell asleep with it in his hand. He woke up with his lap on fire. He suffered burns but was treated and released. He’s no longer living in the building. We had even began to be friends again. We talked on the phone for several nights straight… and if you know me.. I HATE talking on the phone ((( in person I can sit for hours)))… he knows this and expects for me to talk to him every night. I JUST CANT DO THAT…. I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE… and when I skipped a few nights and only text him…. *just as before* he stopped answering my calls. YESSSSSSSSSSSS SEE YA…. GOOD RIDDENS… I cant deal with a MAN who is so needy and has to talk everyday. I’M NOT A NEEDY WOMAN. So I deleted his number tonight.. AND IM DONE WITH HIM.. OUTTA HERE VIRGO SIR.

I had so much to say earlier, but its gotten late, and when I start itching and moving too much….. its BEDTIME LOL Good Night!

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Oh Lawd its a Fire…..Cree’s Blog Entry

buildingSo, yesterday morning I was just getting in from running an errand before I went to work….sat down at my computer and the FIRE ALARM in my building went off. I said “Oh Lord its a fire”…. this alarm was different than when the fire Marshall come out and do safety sweeps… if you are ever so concerned about YOUR LIFE…. you knew this was real. The security team came over the PA system LOUD AND CLEAR NO MUMBLE JUMBLE WORDS……. and said “please do NOT use the elevator use the stairways”…. you aint gotta tell me twice.. especially not about a FIRE. I just cant die that way Lord. So, I’m already fully dressed, I grabbed my car keys, my credit cards and I hot tailed down the stairs so fast, you would have thought I was in training for a marathon. Fire? I don’t play that. LOL

We’re all running down the stairs, I smelled the smoke but I kept it “running” lol. Once we got outside… I felt so bad for the elderly people who had to walk down the 22 flight of stairs. And its funny because when I first moved in the building, I wanted to be on the higher floors for the Detroit River/Canada View. I was a little disappointed that I forgot to request the higher floors, ….. but baaaaaaaby after what I witnessed yesterday…. 7th floor is FINE WITH CREE. LOL I’m good!

It was about 9:35 am when it all happened. After I got outside it was FREEZING especially living blocks away from the River….so I went and sat in my van. As I’m watching the firemen enter the building, you didn’t see fire or smoke coming from any of the apartments. Next thing I see and hear is windows breaking out. I looked up and counted the floors, and GUESS WHO APARTMENT IT WAS? Remember this story… https://lacreasewalker.com/2013/07/04/virgo-men-are-something-different-crees-blog-entry-virgo/ It was my friend I was writing about in my blog. It started in his bedroom… now I know he has an oxygen tank because he had pneumonia. Next thing I see is EMS taking him out on a stretcher, and to the hospital. I know my crazy Virgo friend gave them HELL!!! He was looking okay, it was probably his breathing. I’ve been trying to call him, but his phone ringer is turned off. I hope he’s okay. Even though all we do is argue…. we had fun and I want so badly to see him right now.

Here’s what I did * laughing*.. ..(((my nosey self))) when I got off work, instead of going to my floor, I went straight to the 9th floor to see how his apartment looked…..if I could. When I got off the elevator his door was WIDE OPEN… they were letting the smoke air out… AND IT SMELLED HORRIBLE . I can’t stand the smell of fire… I almost had to leave. I didn’t go in his apartment, but it was surreal seeing a burnt apartment up close and personal. He had so many clothes and shoes… that it was CRAZY. I have never seen a man with so many clothes and shoes. As I stood in the doorway and looked into his apartment, it was clear that this fire didn’t start in the kitchen… it started in his bedroom. I told him about that smoking and I hope he wasn’t smoking with his tank in that room. It was burned REAL BAD in his room. I heard someone in the back and called his name, but the building crews were in there and so I left.

This morning I wasn’t feeling well so I went to the convenience store on the first floor to get some headache medicine… when a young white gurl on the elevator started talking about the fire. I was saying they did a wonderful job in getting us all out… then she says to me.. Well I only heard on siren. I looked at her and said “one siren”? I said gurl how many do you need to hear before you KNOW its a FIRE? I guess she thought I was going to side with her…. I can’t there were too many sirens going off, not only that but a member of security announced several times, many times, lots of times to evacuate the building. So when I started asking her questions like.. even when you heard the first siren why did you hesitate? She didn’t want to talk about it anymore. She wanted me to AMEN the fact that she said she heard only one siren…. and my reply (((((IN MY MIND AND ON MY FACE…. WAS))))).. if you didn’t hear all those warnings…. you just didn’t give a DAYUM. I aint mad at cha….. BUT AS FAR AS FOR MEEEEEEEEEE….. I’m hitting the stairs BOO. LOL I looked at her as if to say gurl.. I be dog gone if I stand here and hold a conversation with you while you talk crazy…. and I NOT ASK YOU QUESTIONS based on this stupid story you’re trying to share….gurlbye. LOL

Thank God everybody got out safe and everything is alright!!! Amen

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Almost a year……. Cree’s Blog Entry

lori marry“Sometimes I feel as if I should have kept my ass on the shore” Just a thought that pops in my mind every now and then when I think about this time last year, when I was preparing to move to Georgia…..but when I think about things to come…. I laugh.

I left for Georgia on my Birthday last year Sept 3. Almost a year ago. Life has really changed for me since then. Every time I move, there is always a shift for me…. I always end up doing better than before. I think its me this time. I’m learning to completely change the way I look at things, and I want so badly to do things God’s way. I’m more quiet and try to think before I speak. My world was moving so fast. I am a different woman from who I was last year. I can see it and feel it. More humble, more of a listener and slow to speak.

I am very much at Peace, but there are still some answers I need from God. And I’m asking them daily. My finances has changed very much. Those 10 years I lived at my other place. I didn’t want for anything. I always had money, went out of town 2 and 3 times a year. Took long vacations from work. I was going to the movies * I love this* every week, going to the grocery store buying things for the house to last me for 6 months…that’s the kinda shopping I like to do. I was the loaner….. but baaaby when I say thangs has change in that area…… believe it. LOL

I haven’t been able to stock up like I do when it comes to my soap, tissue, dish washing liquid, Ajax, toothpaste and those kinds of things. I don’t go to the movies like I enjoy doing as much, not even going to dinner with friends. Things are really tight for me, and I don’t like it one bit. I keep thinking about Georgia so I know that I’m going back there, why am I not happy like I can see myself being? I have visions so deep, and I KNOW they’re going to come to pass. They ALWAYS do. I miss my concerts….* tears*.

Today, I was driving and was complaining about all of these things, then God said… think about the things you are blessed for. By the time I got half way through my thoughts of all the good he has done for me since being back, I was in tears. Sometimes we can look at everything that’s not going well, and totally forget about the BLESSINGS. I felt good all day.

I’m happy for my friend Lori of 10 plus years… she’s getting MARRIED next year… and her sister is getting MARRIED in Oct of this year. I just got my invite in the mail a few days ago….. I’m so happy for them both.  I can’t wait to see them both walk down the aisle. They are so close, and I just love their Sisterly Relationship. Talk about talks over dinner, me and Lori use to get it in!!!!!!!!!! I love when she calls me for advice, I’ve always been her gurl for that. So Congratulations to Lori and Lecia!!!! * Lori at the top… Lecia at the bottom*

lecia
Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Proud of ME……Cree’s Blog Entry

note to breatheWow, I’m writing another day. So proud of myself, learning to be consistent in things. I had a great planned day. I had a headache earlier, just going through something’s right now. After watching TD Jakes “In the mix” sermon 8/18/2013….. God gave me answers to what happened to me on Friday of last week. Nothing bad, but it happened and there is nothing I can do about it.

Anywayyyyyyy… LOL I was watching the Season Premiere of Basketball Wives tonight. As I was listening to Evelyn tell her story about her and Chad, I couldn’t help but think about her ANGER issues. How quick she was to throw a glass in someone’s face, how she smacked folks, and threw drinks. She is what I called a Basketball Wives Bully. And I’m not in NO WAY saying that she got what she DESERVED when she was head butted by her husband. No, no, no, way am I saying that. But I am saying that you get what you put out there. The part that she seem not to get is that it came back to her with a MAN…. HER HUSBAND whom she had only been married to a little over a month. This wasn’t even a PRIVATE matter, it was PUBLIC one….. everyone heard about her story. Worst than anything she has ever done to anyone. She said that she felt that everyone was saying that she got what she deserved. Can you imagine all the people she’s fell out with, laughing, talking, and happy to see her this way? Oh……..this is pay back for many people.

I hope that she sees the bigger picture here. She cried a lot, and I really felt bad for her. But she has to understand what she did to others ** terrorized* folks, she got back in a different FORM. That’s what she wasn’t expecting. You can’t go around bullying people, and think you’re going to go off and live this happy RICH LAVISH life. If she doesn’t get the bigger picture…..she’s going to find herself angrier, and in more trouble than this time. I really hope that her friends, and her time with Iyanla has helped….. we shall see. I’m routing for ya gurl.

I know I need to be in bed….. I need to take my mom to see The Butler…. she doesn’t know I’ve already seen it…. I don’t think I could tell her.

Another day and I’m doing good with my ANGER ISSUES. I’m working hard to get passed this one. I’m conscience of my thought pattern on what triggers me. I have to share this real quick funny story. When I was on my 3rd day of this, (((God is my teacher))) my daughter wanted Subway before she went home, and just next door was Jets Pizza.

I ordered pizza but stayed in the van until 15 minutes was up. Well after she got her subway, I somehow missed when she walked over to Jets to see if my pizza was ready. So after 15 minutes , I walked in and there she was. She had paid for my food and everything. When I asked her was it ready, she said No. I was shocked because it was well over 20 minutes. I went to the counter and asked the lady was a pizza for Walker ready? She looked over at the one pizza that was “waiting for its owner”, and said No….. just a few more minutes. So, I’m like okay…. before I turned around to chat with my daughter….I heard God loud and clear when he said …..”LaCrease that’s your pizza up there.” I looked over there and said in my mind ” No God, she said it wasn’t mine. LOL He said yes… that’s your pizza. I knew I heard his voice… I kept saying… No, the lady said it wasn’t ready. I knew it was, but I just didn’t want to believe it, because I could feel my heat gauge moving….. I’m about to RAISE THE ROOF! My daughter didn’t know what I was thinking, but my facial expression had totally change, she thought I was getting mad because it was taking so long. She said momma, I’m going back to the van and started smiling like…..OH BOY.

So, I’m standing there at the counter, when the lady calls 2 other people and my food was ordered before theirs. I said ummmmmm excuse me (((( in my business voice))))) to the same lady WHO TOLD ME NO MY PIZZA WASNT READY……I see that their pizza is ready…. can you please check to see if that pizza up there is mines. She said sure, went back and picked up the same pizza SHE TOLD ME NO to…. when she read the paper, and looked up at me…. I knew it WAS mines…she said ” Maam I am so sorry”. We can make you another one. I just stared at her a good 2 minutes between her handling me the pizza, and me actually grabbing it to leave. I was so MADD.

As I’m walking to the van… God is asking me…. Why are you mad? I said because my pizza was up there ALL THAT TIME. He said… but didn’t I tell you that was your pizza the moment you walked in? I said yess… but.. He said then why are you SO ANGRY? Do you think she did it on purpose? I said no… because she doesn’t know me. This was only a few weeks ago, I enjoy the questions God ask me to get to my reasons…. and when I do… its not even worth being angry. I went home and tore that pizza up!!! LOL I think that he likes to sit back with his arms crossed watching to see what I’m going to do. I was proud of myself, I felt him looking over my shoulders. Whew the test I’ve had…..its worth it, because I no longer want to be this way… NO MORE!!!! NO MORE… NO MORE NO MORE!!! ((((smiling)))) And I’m going to write about it every week to keep me on track.

My Birthday is coming up Sep 3…. I’ll be 46. Yes!

Be Blessed

COLOSSIANS 3:2-Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Who R U LaCrease? Part 4 *final* Cree’s Blog Entry @tylerperry

keeping my mouth shutPART 4……..    But in order to do that… I had to ask God…where did this come from? Lord, why do I get upset when someone is sharing with me a story about what someone else did to them? Why do I take it to heart so deeply? Why am I so emotionally connected to their story? Why are my insides on fire as they tell the story? Why do I even care?
I was fed up with my own behavior of trying to “fight” everyday with people about how they treat others. So, I sat down with the TV off and started asking God why am I this way? There has to be a root, where did this begin? All of a sudden I started thinking about my childhood. I was bullied in school. I was bullied because I was different and did my own thing. I admire people who do their “own thing” and not what others did….. unless they like it. If you don’t like what I do, that you wouldn’t do… don’t comment on MY stuff. My dad knew I was different too. I feel to this day that he was a major part of why I have a thing against bullies. For example. Say for instance our light bill was due tomorrow. My dad would spend the money, have fun with it, and worry about that when…. the shut off FINAL NOTICE came. Me, on the other hand, if I had a shut off notice, I would pay the bill, so that I could have PEACE, and not be in the middle of a conversation with someone laughing it up, then all of a sudden …. I THINK OF THIS LIGHT BILL THAT’S GOING TO BE SHUT OFF AT ANY MOMENT. In my daddy’s eyes, I would be considered “silly” in a BULLY FORM OF WAY for thinking like this, and for worrying way to much about it. That always bothered me. It made me feel like this…. If I did things or think things differently than you, mines is considered “STUPID” but yours is considered “SMART”. In my eyes that’s a form of “bullying”.
So, as I got older and realized that the gurl who always stayed in the house, people loved me for how different I was. I was NEVER popular in school, but when I started working and living on my own, people connected with me in a HUGE WAY. Because I was different. I stuck up for the “under dogs”. If I saw you messing with someone and they looked like they didn’t want to be apart… I would say something in a nice tone, and let you know… “we don’t do that here”. I felt that I was that voice for them, but it came from my own place when I was a child.
Then God reminded me of a time when a coworker came to me and said Cree I have something to tell you, but I have to tell you when I call you later, because I know you’re going to be mad. That right there, sent my gauge up to 100. LOL I begged her to tell me now, but she didn’t. When she told me the story later, yep I was mad.. ON FIYAH. Long story short. Me and that coworker was standing around waiting for customers, when our boss son came in. He was good looking, 4 years younger than my daughter. When my boss introduced us to him, we said “oh he’s handsome a good looking guy’… and that was the end of that. Didn’t this BOSS/MANAGER go and tell the other MANAGERS that we were all over her son, and that we were acting like “cougars”, and she also said, women like us is the reason why he don’t come up to the job. PISSED ME OFF. First of all, the lil short sawed off rut…. didn’t look like much, second of all, we both have kids who are GROWN and OLDER THAN HIM, and third of all…. we like men in their late 40’s early 50’s. WHAT?????????? So since I’m faithful to my word and friend about not mentioning anything. We both speak to the Manager, but we keep it moving….we don’t deal with her like that.
Then God bought to my remembrance about how I take up for Tyler Perry when people talk bad about him. I connect with Tyler because we share a lot of child hood issues. I love him as a brother, and a long time ago I adopted in my mind that he is just like me. People talk about him because he’s different, he do things his own way. I LOVE and ADMIRE that about him. When I take up for him, I see us as kids, and since I’m older than him. I see myself as the big sister. And NOBODY is going to talk about MY BROTHER!!! I never shared this with anyone, but when I use to read my google alerts on him and the article was bad and the comments were even worst. I would get on there and SHUT THE WHOLE BOARD DOWN… I would nut up on anyone who had anything negative to say about him. Again it goes back to my child hood, its a form of BULLYING in my mind.
One day I came across this page and this white lady was talking about Tyler, I sent her a email and this is how it went.
RE: Backstage
I am a faithful fan of Tyler Perry. As I read your post about him and read your sarcasm….. I was upset to see that you were taking shots at him. For NO reason. If you’re going to write about a story…. WRITE IT. Leave your remarks out.
But then I realized it was YOU…. who looked stupid. Lindsey had a daughter NOT a son. Trying to make Tyler look bad, you need to be FIRED. Get it together PROFESSIONAL writer.
Then she sent this back to me: Hi lacrease,My name is * took her name out* I’m sorry if my post about the Tyler Perry Foundation offended you. Until your comment I didn’t know there actually was such an organization.I’ve taken the liberty of changing the name and removing the Tyler Perry Foundation from the post but the post itself remains.I’m not against people with GID or those who opt for sexual reassignment surgery. It wasn’t my intention to offend you but I’m sorry if I did.Regards,
After doing this…. I decided that I cannot fight these BULLIES, if Tyler Perry can keep it moving, than so can I. This is what God has been showing me for the longest about myself. I’m the same way with HOMELESS people. Don’t let me hear someone talking down on them, I will have a fit. Don’t talk about anyone who is less fortunate. Don’t mis treat kids, BECAUSE THEY DO KIDS STUFF….another issue that God should me. My coworker stopped me from what I was doing and asked me to come over to her, because she had something to tell me. When I got to her, she asked me….. WHY DO YOU GIVE THESE KIDS MONEY? PISSED ME OFF. My heat Gauge went to 100. Before I knew it I started nutting up, no curse words, or loud talking… NONE OF THAT…. I basically told her that I was grown, I do what I want with my money, and that you have NO IDEA of how many people gave me money as a child and adult, and this is my pay off. That was truly the day, she became my “friend”. She got me…. she knew then that I was my OWN WOMAN in my OWN LANE, doing my OWN THING, with my OWN MIND….
Since God showed me these things about myself. I’m learning to kinda emotionally disconnect from the people I love so much. I love my family and friends. I get to tied into their story and take it to heart. I ‘ve been doing sooooo good lately. God reminds me when I’m in the middle of a test, so that I can think about it as its happening, and to pay attention to my “heat gauge”. LOL I can listen to a story and not be so quick to get upset, or offer my “opinion” about it so quickly. I realize that God is in control and that I don’t have to “mentally fight” off bullies, and take up for the underdog, or hear a story and get upset about it, because its a LIE, MEAN, BULLYISH, or GOSSIP. I’m learning to “keep it moving”. I don’t have to take up for my Brother Tyler Perry who I LOVE so dearly anymore. He can handle his own affairs, and people are going to say what they want about him and everybody else too. I have gotten emails and DM from people who ask me…. do you see Tyler Perry for your husband? LOL I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh at them, I can see no further than me and he as kids, being different and trying to make it. I couldn’t understand it myself, until God should me the connection.
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/syleena-johnson-iyanla-vanzant_n_3677969.html I was watching Fix My Life with Syleena Johnson and when she asked why she still feels this way about her mom Iyanla replied :”because when you were a little person the big people were behaving badly… and then you grow up…. but you never shifted your relationship with those big people… so in your life she’s still a big person bullying you… and your response is that of a 4 year old… you ever learned how else to be. THAT WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH……THAT WAS THE MOMENT I GOT IT…. I AM A GROWN WOMAN… FIGHTING AS A CHILD IN MY ADULT MIND AND LIFE. TELL ME SOMEBODY GOT THAT? That video is ME FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. THIS WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH.
Everyday there is a test for me…. I have to be open at all times for the warning…. hey maybe there will be times when God doesn’t warn me. LOL I know him…. there will be those times. But the bigger picture here is that I WANT to be a better person, and yes I love my family and friends, but I have to emotionally disconnect from the issues, not to make it mines, to not take on the emotionally responsibility of fixing the issue. But at the same time continue to help them out in anyway I can, * I love talking to people* but not to make it mines.
Thanks for reading, and please learn from MY Life Lessons.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

God made my BODY…. I will NOT be ashamed anymore

creedancingAs I sit here in a New Chapter of my life. I enjoy the fact that its only me. I love that. I can FOCUS on myself. I’ve never had time like this to really pay so much attention to who I am. Sometimes I admit I don’t know that to do with myself. LOL But one thing that has been on my mind for the longest, something so petty to the next person, but it has played a huge part of how I lived my life.

I’ve always had a beautiful shape, small waist and a behind that is noticeable. When I was young, guys who were older than me would always try to talk to me. They would always tell me how pretty I was, and how beautiful my shape was. I grew up with both my parents in the home, and my parents didn’t play that being fast mess. My daddy would kill us with his bare hands, if we were acting fast. As a matter of fact, I was shy, stayed to myself and never wanted any trouble. Because it was easy to see this in me, many men felt free to tell me about my body. I remember so clearly how people would say to me, “why is your booty so big”? This would bother me, because I hated attention, I wanted to be the gurl in the back ground. I didn’t know why my body was made this way. I didn’t know why men would look at me and want me. I didn’t know I would be molested and raped by several men in my life before I even left to be on my own at 22. I didn’t know that my body could cause so much chaos in my life.

When I was in my teens, I would always catch it with the older women about my body. They were the ones who really did me in on this subject. Making me feel that when God created me, that I was on some sort of assembly line and that I got in the “behind line” one too many times and he must have missed catching me. Making me feel as if I some how cheated and “got more” than what they had. They all made me feel so ashamed of myself. So, I started wearing extra long shirts, and sweaters to cover my body even more. I would pull at the bottom of my shirts, stretching them way out of shape. I made sure that no one saw my body anymore. Instead of wearing a regular shirt, that everyone else was wearing, I chose to wear everything long.

Its a shame how I didn’t know any better to understand that God made my body. And to tell these grown OLD women just that. I didn’t have any say on how he made it. I didn’t stand in a line to get it, I didn’t chose, beg, or pray. I didn’t do anything but come to this world to serve a purpose for HIM.

With all that said. I have gained so much weight over the years that I can’t believe that I let myself get so out of shape. As I can see myself in a different light BY LIVING ALONE AND BEING ABLE TO FOCUS ON ME. I have already started a SERIOUS workout plan to be healthy and beautiful as God has made me. I am 16 days into working out EVERYDAY. And I LOVE IT. I have never been so serious about this, and everyday I go to bed and I look forward to working out the next day, and setting short term goals…and MEETING THEM!!!!

No longer will I allow ANYONE to make me feel bad because of my body, or any thing else. Its funny how everyone had something to say about it then when I didn’t know any better, but now a days having a BIG BEHIND is in. People are getting booty shots, and DYING to have WHAT I WAS ALREADY BORN WITH.

I have and will always carry myself as woman. I will no longer misuse my body for ANYONE’S OPINION of me. If they have a problem take it up with God…. he’s my creator.

This is MY story about my BODY… but there are stories of people who are drop dead gorgeous, people who have light skin and dark skin. This is for people who have skin disorders, born without an ear, nose. For people who have large breast and people who stare at you, this is for anyone who has covered up their appearances because others made them feel bad. THIS POST IS FOR YOU!

crester

Psalms 139:14, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

Cree  *photo ABOVE taken in Atlanta Georgia, July 1993

*photo here taken last month*

Cree’s Class 2011 * blaming others*

Cree’s Class 2011 

 
 Blaming Others
 
Me: “Hey daddy what are you doing”?
Dad: ” Oh nothing, sitting here crying.”
Me: “Sighs to myself… Why daddy what’s wrong”?
Dad: Oh I’m sitting here with no cigarettes and no booze”?
Me: Well, go to the store and get some.
Dad: “How can I get some with no money”?
Me: Oh, well dad, guess you may have to sit this one out”
Dad: “How the hell you gon tell me to sit this one out, when yall went to Texas Road House to eat today and I’m sitting here with nothing GOOD to eat, drink or smoke?”
Me:  * Not wanting to argue….. I say…”Alright daddy, I’ll talk to you later.
Dad” Bye.
 
My daddy is alwayssssss, blaming somebody else for his short comings. If you have $10.00 and he has $5.00 he will make sure you know that the reason why he didn’t buy 2 packs of cigarettes was because YOU had more money than him. He never  take responsibility for his own actions. He has to always blame others.
 
I’m so use to those kinds conversations, that I promise to NEVER play those kinda mind games when I had my daughter. And I didn’t. When you blame everyone because of what you don’t have its a problem.  Either your child is going to grow up and use these same tactics to get what they want, or they’re going to take responsibility of what they do and don’t have. When a person is always blaming others for their mistakes, they are out of control and will blame any and everyone, so that they won’t be held accountable for their own actions.
 
2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad
 
A few weeks ago during the BUSY holiday season, I was ringing up this Chinese lady. After she paid for her items, she said Oh, I want gift receipts.  We’ll after a sale is completed, the customer has to go to the customer service to have it all voided and re rung. I told her that for one I was sorry, I should have asked her, but no matter how many times I apologized to her, it still wasn’t enough. She just kept saying to me, you should have asked me, you should have asked me. After another apology, I was curious of the mentality of this woman, I said to her…… well maam, why didn’t you tell me, I would have given them to you, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you. She said, you should have asked me, you should have asked me. Right then and there, I knew that no matter how many times I told her that I was sorry about MY mistake, she wanted to take no responsibility of REMINDING me that she NEEDED gift receipts. She wanted to blame me and that was final.
 
Now, let me run down the “BIG PICTURE” that she missed.
 
1. I have apologized  , there will be no blood taken from me, and my house will not be out of order when I get to it. There is nothing else to get out of me but a sincere apology. I would do it 100 times if that would’ve made her feel better.
2. This lady had a CHOICE, to stand in the 4 person line service desk ( nothing I could have done) or leave the store without them.
3. Understand that she can BLAME me all day, night, year, month, hour and minute that since these were  HER items, she also had the responsibility to tell/remind me that she needed gift receipts.
4. And since she didn’t, she was the one who  would be standing in another line to get them taken care of. Not me ( and that may sound harsh, but its the truth, lets be real here.) Lets get out of the sugar-coating days.
 
See, people are responsible for not correcting others when they are wrong. I took responsibility for my part. As a matter of fact, I made sure I asked everyone after her if they need gift receipts. LOL I learned a lesson. I admitted my fault.I knew it was my job to make sure I ask people if they wanted gift receipts.I made a human error on a busy day. Had she  admitted that she “forgot” to tell me, then she would’ve  taken it SO BADLY. But since I’m the cashier, she feels she can say what she wants to me without me knocking the English language out of her, she chose to take no responsibility in it.
 
 
So, now my question is? Did she learn that if she goes to another store and the cashier doesn’t ask her if she wants a gift receipt, that she will be standing in the same line again, if she doesn’t speak up? Did she learn that she can BLAME the cashier all day, she is the one who has to get it taken care of , AND NOT THE CASHIER. Lets say, I would have gotten fired for not remembering………. would the lady learn from this, and remind other cashiers when she wants gift receipts, or will she forget and blame person after person for something she clearly couldn’t REMEMBER HERSELF?
 
 
Deep huh? Learn to take responsibility for your own actions, because when Judgement Day come, you wont be able to say……Well what happened Lord was…….. when I was walking down the street, this lady walked up to me and she was talking, and she had a $100.00 bill coming out of her purse, and when she wasn’t looking, it flew out and landed under my shoe, and when she walked away Lord, I picked it up. And the reason why I didn’t ask her was it hers, was because she DIDNT ASK ME DID I FIND IT. 
 
 
Have a Blessed Year!
Cree ~new level~

New Level~ 2011

Today is Jan 1, 2011. 2011, is like a New sheet of paper, its up to you what you write in it.
 
I can sit here and say that I have truly learned a lot in 2010. I’m not a person who complain often, or even dwell on the past, but I will say this….. I do not have a hard time moving on from anyone and anything. That’s one that I ABSOLUTLY LOVE about myself. I can move on and never look back * that’s the part that scares me*. And when I say never look back, ……..I mean NEVER look back.
 
God has really shown me a lot lately. I’m in a place where I’m listening and learning, watching and growing. Sometimes I talk so much that I really don’t see the big picture that’s going on in my life. But a lot of things I do see, I just play “dumb” to it, just to not get question on it. That’s gotta stop this year too. If I don’t want to comment on it, then I won’t. Sometimes its easier to say ” nope I didn’t see that, or nope I didn’t hear that”. God fills me in on a lot, and if I want him to continue to do that, he wants me to listen. For these last few months, OMG……. its unreal what I see and know. I want control of all situations that has everything to do with me. And God is showing me, you are “not the plant manager of your life La’Crease”, “you are not the boss of your life La’Crease”, and for me to just sit back and listen. Man…… I’m so quiet sometimes, it scares me. LOL
 
But guess what? I’m finding out the little I say, is a lot, just because it came from ME. LOL Listen, God showed me this one day recently……A little over a week, I was at my register, had just turned off my light because it was time to go home, I had a few more customers, and my shift was over. One of the managers come out of the office behind me and flicked my light back on, as he tried so HARD to walk away quickly, but I caught him!!!! I looked at him, with this look……… before I even knew it *lol* he smiled and I said Nah unnnnn, I’m leaving for the day. I went to punch out and was telling one of my other co-workers about it, didn’t he tried to do her the same way? Well, the very next day, people were coming up to me saying I heard what happened about such and such and him trying to turn back on your light. And I’m saying to myself……….. how the hell did you know that? That’s when he showed me that when I, La’Crease say something its a “OMG CREE said that? But let someone else had told that same story, it wouldn’t get pass 1 person. I didn’t say anything, I just allowed God to show me that. I have to watch what I say at all times. This happens to me all the time, when I say something its Gold…..That’s why I don’t like gossip. If I say anything about someone, trust me its good. When I’m confronted on it, its all good. I’m not saying anymore about it in a good way, than the next person who likes it as well.
 
Anyway………
 
This year I’m going to be more visual when it comes to my blog entries. Also when it comes to Teaching, and Ministry
* Raisingurls*, IM GOING HARD!!! Like you’ve never seen before. I’m going to use real life examples, scriptures, and common sense. The truth will never come off as arrogant, unless you don’t believe it.
 
I’m closing for now. Have a Blessed New Year!!!
Cree ~new level~