Gone but not forgotten…..Cree’s Blog Entry

aunt lillianSo today….. I’m feeling some kinda way. I hate when I feel like this. I need to clean up, but I want to be on the computer. I want to go to the river, but I don’t feel like fighting/finding a parking spot. I want to watch TV but my mind is all over the place right now. My daughters great aunt passed away this morning… and I’m not good with funerals at all. I’m just a cry baby, I cry and cry, and cry and cry, and cry and cry and cry.. not because of death, but because of the Spiritual Atmosphere. If no one else is crying, I just can’t follow suit and let things be happy… I have to go someplace alone and cry. She was sick, so it helps that family members were preparing. I keep telling myself… to be absent from the body is to be PRESENT with the Lord.

I text my daughters father today, and told him how sorry I was…. BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM SOOO mad at myself for not being able to call him. Because I know I’m going to cry and MESS UP HIS ATMOSPHERE.. Why do I have to be so sensitive? If I hear a organ and the choir sing….. I start to cry… like weeping Wanda from Good Times. So dayum embarrassing!!!

My daughter was looking at me today like….momma its okay. Its her great aunt, and I’m crying like she was my mom. Thing is my mom has one sister/sibling, she has one daughter, and everyone is alive. My dad has 7 siblings… all of them are alive except my uncle he passed away years ago of cancer. All of my aunts are alive and they are doing well and look good…. ALL OF MY FIRST COUSINS ARE ALIVE… ALL OF MY SECOND COUSINS ARE ALIVE… and my dads mom only died 3 years ago. My friends are alive that I grew up with. I have never lost a close friend male or female. So, this is why I feel this way about funerals. I haven’t been to many, and then on top off that I’m already sensitive. I pray ALL THE TIME.. that when our family does have our turn * AND YES WE WILL*, that God makes me the strong one. Make me stronger than I feel that I am LORD. Oh yes, we all have to go, and that’s fine…. but I want to cry a little, laugh a little, and understand that these things must take place.

Okay… I think I feel better now… I do. Thank you Lord for the gift of writing. I feel okay 🙂

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

A story that will warm your heart…. Crees Blog Entry

GOT A STORY TO SHARE : FROM MY FACEBOOK FRIEND CYNTHIA….. SUCH A WONDERFUL STORY

CYN AND JOHNHubby and I went to Olive Garden to have dinner..as we were sitting there waiting to be seated this little girl came and sit down beside us. I would say she was about 7 years old. She kept looking and then she was staring..I smiled at her and she smiles back. Then she said, ” Do you both live together?” I said, ” yes, We are married” So she kept staring and then I said, ” Have you ever seen a black and white couple together?’ She shook her head no. Then she said, ” Do you have any kids together?” I said,” No, but he was married before me and he had a wife, she died and went to heaven and they had kids, and now their kids have small children so we are grandparents.” She said, ” Why couldn’t you have any kids together.” I said, ” We got to old!” I smiled and she started laughing..I continued talking to her and I said,” So that’s ok right?” She shook her head yes and smiled.Then I asked her, ” Do you have any black friends at school?” She said ” No. I don’t have any.’ I asked what school did she got to. She told she is at a new school this year and she was telling me about her old school. So she just kept smiling at me and staring at me. I asked her , ‘What’s your name?” She said, ” Riley.” I said ” nice to meet you Riley, I’m Cynthia and his name is John.” She got up and stood up and looked up at John smiling and looked back at me smiling..So next to us where her parents, as I thought they were her parents , come to find out it was her adopted grandparents..and I told them our conversation and the grandmother said Both girls had been not around alot of people..but I did commended to the grandmother, that she was very polite and was very curious..she spoke so pleasant and she was very friendly. The grandfather looked a little unpleasant at first when I began telling the story and I think he thought I was going to be upset and then when the grandmother and I started laughing and smiling about it..John and I saw he was a little bit more relaxed and he started smiling bigger as I continue telling what this little girl asked John and I . I told the grandmother, despite her not being around any Black people..I felt like she wanted to learn and this is a step towards learning and getting to know other people from different races..She smiled and said ” Thank you for being so nice to her.” I told her, ” I really enjoyed my conversation with Riley and I hope she has learned something from our short conversation.” I told the grandmother, ” Thank you for helping to raise such a smart and polite little child.” I said to Riley as she was sitting down, ” I’m your first Black friend.” She smiled really big. Her grandmother told her, ” Riley, you met your first Black friend tonight.” She nodded her head and smiled. We said our good byes and Riley waved at me as we were called to our seating. I know some people would find it uncomfortable with the lady saying that but I didn’t..maybe it opened up something to them they had not ever had to approach. I don’t know.

I hope Riley spreads her love for people her whole life and I hope she helps someone else understand that we may all be of different race but we are all the same through and through.

As I sit here and type this, I have this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart and I’m a bit choked up with tears..I hope Riley has a happy life and embrace everyone no matter what color skin they have. I’m so happy that I was the first Black person that touched her life as I may never see her again. But I will always remember that sweet little face of hers. — feeling wonderful.

Secrets, Facebook, Millionaire, and Anger Issues….Cree’s Blog Entry

excuse meI’m very proud of myself….. I’ve been doing really good with my ANGER issues. I’m working so, so hard to just learn to fall back, and not speak a word, especially when its not important. I learned that my issue is not having an attitude in the morning, or when I walk into a room… mine come in on STUPID ISH. For example. I was driving the other night from a movie, and there was a Detroit Tigers game that had just let out, and while WE had the GREEN light, people were still walking across the street like THEY HAD THE RIGHT AWAY. Okay, so I’m cool with it, then after while, people just kept on coming and “we” who had the right away….. was like okay nah…. we about to start driving… it is a green light for us. As I’m inching in letting the people know… this light is not going to stay green forever, I’m about to start driving.. this white dude… staring at me like… “YOU BETTA NOT HIT ME”… Lawd…. why did I have to see that look on his face? AND ITS MY TURN TO DRIVE THROUGH THE GREEN LIGHT!!!! I just started praying, I was about to lay on the horn for 30 minutes… LOL I just let God talk me out of it. This is the kinds of things I go through with being Angry. I NEVER fall out with family or friends… never have attitudes, never act funny to people… its other people and their ignorance that sends me over the top. But I’ve been doing good for the last 2 weeks or so. Trying not to have “ANGER stories to tell”. Trying to get up to ZERO STORIES.

I was sitting up thinking about how if we had Facebook back in the day when I was in my 20’s…. what would MY stats be? LOL LOL LOL Baaaaaby… it would probably read…”Had a party last night at my house, and when the morning came, my sister friend was laying in the drive way sleep”. ” One of my boos was ova, he wasn’t talking about nothing, so when the phone rang and it was my other boo, I pretended to have a headache and made home boy leave.” LOL On my way to Watts Club Mozambique *male dancers* to see my baby Ace Lee” “Got my gurls ova, we bout to talk ish over spades and down 1800, absolute, and Henny”. ” Walked up in the club looking good, banging body, hair laid, and all the men looking at me.”  LOL Thank God, we didn’t have that mess, I can save some of my drama and foolishness LOL LOL for the world to see. HAHAHAHAHA… those kids can have it… I only use it to uplift. I think that’s why I can relate to so many people, is because I know and remember the person I use to be, and so when I see young people behaving the same way…. I don’t JUDGE them. I try to help them. I have a lot of young gurls from my old job, and they listens to me. They have to have their day where they’re foolish, so when I speak to them I try to let them see another light of it. The sooner you come out of your foolishness, the sooner you can get on with God’s plan for your life.

I watched about 4 Secret Millionaire episodes this past week, and they were so good….. had me crying like a baby. If I ever got rich or have a husband who is, I’m going to spend his money giving it away. I will volunteer for the rest of my life to helping teens, women, and the elderly. So many of our young people need help. One day I had group meetings with students at work, and I was so shocked to hear how many kids who have foster parents. Even the grandmothers are either dead, or can’t be there for them. I think a lot of people from my generation were on drugs, and sexually abused. It was so many rapes going on in my days of being a teen, and some of these women never recovered. Everything is a dang ole secret now a days… PISSES ME OFF. I HATE SECRETS. HATE THEM WITH A PASSION. These grandmothers raising their grand kids with all this LOVE, they should have shown their daughters when they were growing up. Now the daughter lost her way, and the grandmother is not telling the whole story to anyone or the grand kids about why her daughter cant MENTALLY raise her own kids. The daughter has been raped, molested, exposed to drugs, didn’t have a father at home, was left to find food for her siblings…. all kinds of stuff. I’ve seen it first hand… and after all these years.. it angers me to know this story about my friend. Anyway…. let me get off this subject.

Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Almost a year……. Cree’s Blog Entry

lori marry“Sometimes I feel as if I should have kept my ass on the shore” Just a thought that pops in my mind every now and then when I think about this time last year, when I was preparing to move to Georgia…..but when I think about things to come…. I laugh.

I left for Georgia on my Birthday last year Sept 3. Almost a year ago. Life has really changed for me since then. Every time I move, there is always a shift for me…. I always end up doing better than before. I think its me this time. I’m learning to completely change the way I look at things, and I want so badly to do things God’s way. I’m more quiet and try to think before I speak. My world was moving so fast. I am a different woman from who I was last year. I can see it and feel it. More humble, more of a listener and slow to speak.

I am very much at Peace, but there are still some answers I need from God. And I’m asking them daily. My finances has changed very much. Those 10 years I lived at my other place. I didn’t want for anything. I always had money, went out of town 2 and 3 times a year. Took long vacations from work. I was going to the movies * I love this* every week, going to the grocery store buying things for the house to last me for 6 months…that’s the kinda shopping I like to do. I was the loaner….. but baaaby when I say thangs has change in that area…… believe it. LOL

I haven’t been able to stock up like I do when it comes to my soap, tissue, dish washing liquid, Ajax, toothpaste and those kinds of things. I don’t go to the movies like I enjoy doing as much, not even going to dinner with friends. Things are really tight for me, and I don’t like it one bit. I keep thinking about Georgia so I know that I’m going back there, why am I not happy like I can see myself being? I have visions so deep, and I KNOW they’re going to come to pass. They ALWAYS do. I miss my concerts….* tears*.

Today, I was driving and was complaining about all of these things, then God said… think about the things you are blessed for. By the time I got half way through my thoughts of all the good he has done for me since being back, I was in tears. Sometimes we can look at everything that’s not going well, and totally forget about the BLESSINGS. I felt good all day.

I’m happy for my friend Lori of 10 plus years… she’s getting MARRIED next year… and her sister is getting MARRIED in Oct of this year. I just got my invite in the mail a few days ago….. I’m so happy for them both.  I can’t wait to see them both walk down the aisle. They are so close, and I just love their Sisterly Relationship. Talk about talks over dinner, me and Lori use to get it in!!!!!!!!!! I love when she calls me for advice, I’ve always been her gurl for that. So Congratulations to Lori and Lecia!!!! * Lori at the top… Lecia at the bottom*

lecia
Be Blessed

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

Who R U LaCrease? Part 4 *final* Cree’s Blog Entry @tylerperry

keeping my mouth shutPART 4……..    But in order to do that… I had to ask God…where did this come from? Lord, why do I get upset when someone is sharing with me a story about what someone else did to them? Why do I take it to heart so deeply? Why am I so emotionally connected to their story? Why are my insides on fire as they tell the story? Why do I even care?
I was fed up with my own behavior of trying to “fight” everyday with people about how they treat others. So, I sat down with the TV off and started asking God why am I this way? There has to be a root, where did this begin? All of a sudden I started thinking about my childhood. I was bullied in school. I was bullied because I was different and did my own thing. I admire people who do their “own thing” and not what others did….. unless they like it. If you don’t like what I do, that you wouldn’t do… don’t comment on MY stuff. My dad knew I was different too. I feel to this day that he was a major part of why I have a thing against bullies. For example. Say for instance our light bill was due tomorrow. My dad would spend the money, have fun with it, and worry about that when…. the shut off FINAL NOTICE came. Me, on the other hand, if I had a shut off notice, I would pay the bill, so that I could have PEACE, and not be in the middle of a conversation with someone laughing it up, then all of a sudden …. I THINK OF THIS LIGHT BILL THAT’S GOING TO BE SHUT OFF AT ANY MOMENT. In my daddy’s eyes, I would be considered “silly” in a BULLY FORM OF WAY for thinking like this, and for worrying way to much about it. That always bothered me. It made me feel like this…. If I did things or think things differently than you, mines is considered “STUPID” but yours is considered “SMART”. In my eyes that’s a form of “bullying”.
So, as I got older and realized that the gurl who always stayed in the house, people loved me for how different I was. I was NEVER popular in school, but when I started working and living on my own, people connected with me in a HUGE WAY. Because I was different. I stuck up for the “under dogs”. If I saw you messing with someone and they looked like they didn’t want to be apart… I would say something in a nice tone, and let you know… “we don’t do that here”. I felt that I was that voice for them, but it came from my own place when I was a child.
Then God reminded me of a time when a coworker came to me and said Cree I have something to tell you, but I have to tell you when I call you later, because I know you’re going to be mad. That right there, sent my gauge up to 100. LOL I begged her to tell me now, but she didn’t. When she told me the story later, yep I was mad.. ON FIYAH. Long story short. Me and that coworker was standing around waiting for customers, when our boss son came in. He was good looking, 4 years younger than my daughter. When my boss introduced us to him, we said “oh he’s handsome a good looking guy’… and that was the end of that. Didn’t this BOSS/MANAGER go and tell the other MANAGERS that we were all over her son, and that we were acting like “cougars”, and she also said, women like us is the reason why he don’t come up to the job. PISSED ME OFF. First of all, the lil short sawed off rut…. didn’t look like much, second of all, we both have kids who are GROWN and OLDER THAN HIM, and third of all…. we like men in their late 40’s early 50’s. WHAT?????????? So since I’m faithful to my word and friend about not mentioning anything. We both speak to the Manager, but we keep it moving….we don’t deal with her like that.
Then God bought to my remembrance about how I take up for Tyler Perry when people talk bad about him. I connect with Tyler because we share a lot of child hood issues. I love him as a brother, and a long time ago I adopted in my mind that he is just like me. People talk about him because he’s different, he do things his own way. I LOVE and ADMIRE that about him. When I take up for him, I see us as kids, and since I’m older than him. I see myself as the big sister. And NOBODY is going to talk about MY BROTHER!!! I never shared this with anyone, but when I use to read my google alerts on him and the article was bad and the comments were even worst. I would get on there and SHUT THE WHOLE BOARD DOWN… I would nut up on anyone who had anything negative to say about him. Again it goes back to my child hood, its a form of BULLYING in my mind.
One day I came across this page and this white lady was talking about Tyler, I sent her a email and this is how it went.
RE: Backstage
I am a faithful fan of Tyler Perry. As I read your post about him and read your sarcasm….. I was upset to see that you were taking shots at him. For NO reason. If you’re going to write about a story…. WRITE IT. Leave your remarks out.
But then I realized it was YOU…. who looked stupid. Lindsey had a daughter NOT a son. Trying to make Tyler look bad, you need to be FIRED. Get it together PROFESSIONAL writer.
Then she sent this back to me: Hi lacrease,My name is * took her name out* I’m sorry if my post about the Tyler Perry Foundation offended you. Until your comment I didn’t know there actually was such an organization.I’ve taken the liberty of changing the name and removing the Tyler Perry Foundation from the post but the post itself remains.I’m not against people with GID or those who opt for sexual reassignment surgery. It wasn’t my intention to offend you but I’m sorry if I did.Regards,
After doing this…. I decided that I cannot fight these BULLIES, if Tyler Perry can keep it moving, than so can I. This is what God has been showing me for the longest about myself. I’m the same way with HOMELESS people. Don’t let me hear someone talking down on them, I will have a fit. Don’t talk about anyone who is less fortunate. Don’t mis treat kids, BECAUSE THEY DO KIDS STUFF….another issue that God should me. My coworker stopped me from what I was doing and asked me to come over to her, because she had something to tell me. When I got to her, she asked me….. WHY DO YOU GIVE THESE KIDS MONEY? PISSED ME OFF. My heat Gauge went to 100. Before I knew it I started nutting up, no curse words, or loud talking… NONE OF THAT…. I basically told her that I was grown, I do what I want with my money, and that you have NO IDEA of how many people gave me money as a child and adult, and this is my pay off. That was truly the day, she became my “friend”. She got me…. she knew then that I was my OWN WOMAN in my OWN LANE, doing my OWN THING, with my OWN MIND….
Since God showed me these things about myself. I’m learning to kinda emotionally disconnect from the people I love so much. I love my family and friends. I get to tied into their story and take it to heart. I ‘ve been doing sooooo good lately. God reminds me when I’m in the middle of a test, so that I can think about it as its happening, and to pay attention to my “heat gauge”. LOL I can listen to a story and not be so quick to get upset, or offer my “opinion” about it so quickly. I realize that God is in control and that I don’t have to “mentally fight” off bullies, and take up for the underdog, or hear a story and get upset about it, because its a LIE, MEAN, BULLYISH, or GOSSIP. I’m learning to “keep it moving”. I don’t have to take up for my Brother Tyler Perry who I LOVE so dearly anymore. He can handle his own affairs, and people are going to say what they want about him and everybody else too. I have gotten emails and DM from people who ask me…. do you see Tyler Perry for your husband? LOL I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh at them, I can see no further than me and he as kids, being different and trying to make it. I couldn’t understand it myself, until God should me the connection.
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/syleena-johnson-iyanla-vanzant_n_3677969.html I was watching Fix My Life with Syleena Johnson and when she asked why she still feels this way about her mom Iyanla replied :”because when you were a little person the big people were behaving badly… and then you grow up…. but you never shifted your relationship with those big people… so in your life she’s still a big person bullying you… and your response is that of a 4 year old… you ever learned how else to be. THAT WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH……THAT WAS THE MOMENT I GOT IT…. I AM A GROWN WOMAN… FIGHTING AS A CHILD IN MY ADULT MIND AND LIFE. TELL ME SOMEBODY GOT THAT? That video is ME FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. THIS WAS MY BREAKTHROUGH.
Everyday there is a test for me…. I have to be open at all times for the warning…. hey maybe there will be times when God doesn’t warn me. LOL I know him…. there will be those times. But the bigger picture here is that I WANT to be a better person, and yes I love my family and friends, but I have to emotionally disconnect from the issues, not to make it mines, to not take on the emotionally responsibility of fixing the issue. But at the same time continue to help them out in anyway I can, * I love talking to people* but not to make it mines.
Thanks for reading, and please learn from MY Life Lessons.
Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

#VIRGO #VIRGOS VIRGOS!!!!! Cree’s Blog Entry!!!

blurrymeI use to be deep into signs in my 20’s, these days every now and then I’ll find myself reading something on line about Virgos. I find the things that people say about us to be so true….some folks need to #tryagain.

I found some interesting post on line *Virgo Woman by GaneshaSpeaks.com , I want to share them and respond. My comments are about me, but you can learn a lot about yourself or someone you know or date.

The Virgo women’s greatest assets are their intelligence, analytical minds and excellent memory. They are logical thinkers who would take any into account every detail before arriving at a decision. Therefore, they are good at settling disputes and make good business partners, analysts and strategists. I do remember a lot, but I take in so much from myself and others, that I don’t believe I remember a lot. But maybe its true for things I WANT TO REMEMBER. LOL Yes, I think about everything!!! That’s why I’m a great planner. I can plan something, and think of the smallest detail in making it happen. When I do my Feeding the Homeless projects, Sistergurls, Raisingurls, out of town trips, its planned so well, that when its over, it feels to ME…… that it NEVER HAPPENED. I love that about myself. I do lots of research, calling folks over the phone, talking in person, coming to a CLEAR UNDERSTANDING, making sure folks understand what I want, and when I want it. I write down everything and don’t miss a beat. LOL This is funny.

They do have a softer side to their personalities. Although they may appear as strong-minded individuals, there are emotional and need to be well taken care of. They have a habit over becoming overcritical but don’t hold that against them because they have the same attitude towards themselves. I agree!!!! My personality is VERY STRONG. I know it comes from my dad, because all of us *3 siblings* are too. We weren’t  allowed to fight at all … period growing up, so our only defense was to argue and debate it out. We are SOME POWERHOUSES!!! One day I’m going to record one of our debates, its so funny. We GO AT IT. We never get personal, we always stay on the subject at hand. LOL That’s a site to see!!!! Yes, I’m very emotional. When it comes to people being mistreated, homeless, hungry, bullied, children, abused….. I am THE PERSON WHO STANDS UP FOR THESE FOLKS!!! I’m a very popular person everywhere I go, BUT …. don’t expect for me to sit a the table with the RICH AND POWERFUL…. Ill be the one making phone calls to get people shelter, food, and assistance. THENNNNN I’ll go mingle. LOL

These women don’t get influenced easily as they wary of exposing their emotional vulnerability and possibility of getting hurt. Besides, one has to match their high standards to impress the perfection-seeking Virgo women. Hence, patience is the key if you want make a lasting impression on a Virgo woman’s mind. Yep, all day long!!!! I’m not geeked on how much money you have or make, your car, your home, your position at work…. I’m geeked on how you treat your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, COWORKERS, and how well you communicate and greet others as soon as you make contact. Cause see God has treasures stored up for LaCrease in HEAVEN, ….that’s waiting for me. So, in order to impress me…. ON EARTH…… you have to care about PEOPLE. I cant stand or deal with ANY DRAMA…… he has to know what HE can do……. AND KEEP IT MOVING… my train * mind* is always moving!!!

Fun Tips

Virgos will forgive more than once if they love you. But don’t think they won’t get fed up and leave you high and dry. Virgos has a DISS BUTTON… .that’s outta this world!!!! It may take a moment to push it… but TRUST AND BELIEVE… its there!!!

Virgos won’t like people with controlling personalities, and like Scorpio, they NEVER change to suit anyone! I know when to fall back, and when to speak up. I cant deal with people who control with their POWER. #notimpressed

Virgos love the smell of freshness aromas,candles,fresh laundry,perfume,and cologne. YESSS. I LOVE TO SMELL A MAN’S NECK 🙂

Virgo ladies do not date based on looks or money. So it is essential that you have a great sense of humor and a decent outlook on life. I’M silly and love to laugh. I love it.

I am very shy when I meet a guy. VERY… I like to listen and pay attention to everything. People always come to WRONG conclusions about me/us when they think they know us, but have NO IDEA.

For example. I live downtown, and in my apartment complex we have 24 hour security… one of the guys ask me to come here so that he can say something to me. He said… “I know you like me”… and since me and him are cool. It kinda shocked me. So instead of me making all of these facial expressions that would clearly SHUT HIM DOWN VIRGO STYLE… I asked him…. tell me… how did you come to that conclusion? He said the way you look at me when you come in the building, the way you talk to me, the way you smile at me, you have to always say something to me. He said the other day you licked your tongue out at me…. he said I noticed that too. I let him talk for about 10 minutes.

Then it was MY turn….

I said first of all boo * with a smile as always*….. I speak to EVERYONE who makes eye contact with me. I said noticed… when I talk to you as I enter the building….. I’m WALKING to the elevator and talking.

#2 I’m 15 years older than you

#3 I’m friendly to everyone.

#4 I call birds, dogs, cats, men, women………. BOO. Its not a personal word I use for people who I LIKE.

#5 When I licked my tongue out at you that day * God is my witness*, I was praying at the same time saying “God… I cant stand him”!!

We both laughed on that last one. It was truly what I was thinking and praying about. Because by him thinking I “liked” him, I was praying to God how much I cant stand him!!! HE always wants to know what I’m cooking, what I’m doing for the day when I leave the building, what’s in MY BAG…. what do I have on as far as perfume, when I’m coming back. UGH!!! Every time I leave the building he has to ask me a personal question and we HATE for people to be in our business too much. I guess he was calling himself “showing interest” in me. LOL LOL

So, now that we had that talk, we’re good friends. I understand him more, and he knows.. BOO BOO * IN MY KEKE WYATT SILLY VOICE*.. IM JUST BEING FRIENDLY. And all we talk about is his fiance and his new baby on the way. See what talking can do and NOT ASSUMING NO ONE WANTS TO MARRY YOU AND BE YOUR WIFE? * SUB*

My name is La’Crease Walker, and this VIRGO approve this message.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

No Discipline means No Destiny!!! Crees Blog

So……. I had 3 days off work, and I’ve been apartment searching in Sandy Springs, Georgia from Detroit. Its been stressing me out a little too. I hate this feeling. I’m such a hands on person, I have to see the property TODAY, talk to the owner TODAY, ask a billion questions TA…DAY, and have his phone number on speed dial TODAY. LOL Sometimes things are a money issues, and sometimes its a time issue. I was so stressed out about it, I slept all day yesterday. Today I refuse to do that, I got up and started early this morning. God is going to work everything out concerning my move. I know.

And let me “preach” a little while I’m on the subject of questions. Do you know that by asking questions you can get anything you want? You cannot tell me a story and I CONTINUE to hold a conversation with you, and I NOT understand what you’re talking about. That’s FOOLISH to me. My BFF …. I love her to death, but baaaaby she would call me and go right in to the subject, I had to tell her gurllllllllllllllll I have a billion things on my mind too, you gotta refresh my memory on the subject!!! You do want me on the same page right? LOL

One day the DISTRICT MANAGER came into our store. Now, when he comes the managers clean up and rebuild the store like his guest was JESUS. And its funny because YES, he is the BIG BOSS and its okay for everyone to be on their best behavior…… but when he comes in, he always come and talk to me. LOL LOL He’s a nice looking white guy, so friendly and Arkansas country. LOL We stand and talk for a long time all while the store managers and department mangers stare from a distance and wonder what we are talking about. So, one day he came in and we started chatting, afterwards my boss came over to me and said, why when he come in, he always talk to you? LOL I said because people put on a fake face when the BIG DUDES *GOOD DEEDS* come in, but its the real people who they recognize. 😉

Bishop TD Jakes said on Sunday…… No Discipline means No Destiny!!!

Off to bed work in the AM

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

“POSITIVE ENERGY”…..CREES BLOG ENTRY

Growing up…. MY parents were married and had 4 children. I am the oldest of the 4. My parents told us they LOVED us everyday. We got hugs everyday. We got kisses everyday. WE got whopping’s when we needed them. LOL We were showered with LOVE. We were taught not to FIST fight each other, we could only express ourselves through discussion. We couldn’t get personal, we had to STAY on the SUBJECT. No going below the belt. We went to Church and we learned about Jesus. I was on the punishment all the time for sneaking in the peanut butter, and that’s when I started reading my bible every day. It was amazing that I somehow understood the King James Version.

Last week, my mom walked up to me….. she held me by my face slowly, and she kissed me on the forehead, she kissed me on both my cheeks, on my nose, on my chin, then she kissed me on my lips. I was in HEAVEN even at the age of 44. THANK YOU JESUS. My MOMMA KNOWSSSSSSSS that when I was a little gurl, I LOVED when she kissed me like that. I JUST MELTED. She knows that this calms any storm that I’m going through. She knows this. I love how personal she make her LOVE for me. She also had her special way of showing LOVE to my sisters and brother in the way THAT THEY UNDERSTAND.

When I left home to start life on my own at 22…. I found out quickly that NOT everyone knew LOVE as I had experienced it. I found out that all parents didn’t take their kids out to dinner, or for rides, or tucked them in and told them bedtime stories. I thought that all parents told their kids everyday that they LOVED them. I thought that everybody hugged and kissed when they saw each other, and walked into peoples home. I thought that everybody said ” I love you” as they left to go their own way. I thought that if you’re at home, and company over you don’t have to put your money or belongings up because you’re at home. I thought that when you get into a jam that you can call your family….. and get help.

My personality draws a lot of people to me. I didn’t know then….what I know now, but they were drawn to the LOVE that I displayed to them. God had wonderful people in my life who are still here today. So, here I was this “magnet” OF “POSITIVE ENERGY” attracting all of these people to me. ALL the LOVE that was inside of ME ….. I was doing my best, but what I found myself doing was …….stressing myself out trying to GIVE PEOPLE some of what I was feeling. Love was seeping out of my pours….. that my family/parents put there. It was all I knew. In my 20’s some took it and ran me over . Still for the life of me I wondered, was I the only one going through this?

One day me and my Siblings were having our talks at dinner in my home. And we started talking about how they experienced the SAME THING. Our personal friends say that we’re SOOOOOOOO nice. We laugh and say……. they don’t get to see that other side. LOL And I say that to say…. we are NICE…but we do bark… we just bark in LOVE. All of us are cut throat HONEST… we will tell you the truth and not hold back ANYTHING….but its all in LOVE.

Here I am 44 years old, trying to understand and ADJUST to the issues that goes on in the world that I NEVER knew exist inside of what I was taught by my parents. All I know is LOVE… to walk into a room and smile, give out hugs, give out blessings, and compliments. God is teaching me that no matter what I see outside of what I learned at HOME…… be true to MYSELF. I’m Blessed. I know what some people in the world was never taught… I know how to LOVE.

When we were in our teens, we didn’t have to hide our money when company came over, we had “like minded” friends. But when I got on my own in my 20’s and started working, and meeting new people. I would keep my belongings around, but I found out real quick that people will come into your home and steal your things.That was foreign to me. My Sisters and I had boyfriends growing up, but we never looked or took each other boyfriends. So, when I moved out, I was carefree and kept my boyfriends around my friends, next thing I knew….they hooked up. I was devastated. I didn’t learn how to deal with these types of issues because My Sisters and I, never crossed that line. We never had to deal with those types of issues. I would go to my friends house, walk in and hug their mom, and hug the rest of the family,  and they would look at me like……..”where they do that at”…..all you do is say hi to the person you come to see….. and that’s it. And there were times when I went to my parents like……. why other people don’t hug and kiss like we do?

In my life time… my “magnet” of LOVE that was taught by both my parents…… has pulled in Rapist, Molesters, Killers, … and the list goes on. BUT GOD HAS BEEN THERE FOR ME. LET ME TELL YOU. He knows my heart better than myself, and he has really umbrella me from a lot of mess. He knows of the LOVE that pours out of me, and he knows people see it. And so he has always protected me from many issues. I can’t help that I’m this way… this is all I know. I REFUSE to step outside of who I am… to FIT in with how “the world” works. I’ll DIE FIRST. I am NOOOOO WAY… NO KINDA WAY PERFECT…. just because I know how to LOVE and show LOVE…. but I am special….. and it takes SPECIAL FRIENDS, SPECIAL PEOPLE, AND A FUTURE SPECIAL HUSBAND * if the Lord say the same* to be in my CIRCLE. And finally after understanding that I am different…… I LOVE CREE.

But before I close…… I must say this.With all that I have learned…… I am a VERY POWERFUL WOMAN….. MORE IN THE NEXT BLOG ENTRY.

Where works of the flesh exists, there is NO joy

“Its in the thought process”

“Cree how have u managed to be so positive? I’m moved by ur blogs”

 

Its funny this question was asked. Because just yesterday my momma asked “How was your day at work” and I said “Oooooo momma it was a good day”. Then she said do you ever have bad days at work? YES I DO. But I have learned that I can control my thoughts. I chose to be happy. I chose to have a good day, I chose to post happy things, I chose to smile and laugh with people. We have more power than we think we have. And I have tapped into that thought process.

I’m not a person who worries about bills or anything. My thoughts are always on others, how they are doing, will they be okay? I talk to a lot of my co-workers, friends on the phone, ( all the time) strangers, family about issues in their life. I’m a big listener, and when I hear so many different stories, on many different levels, from so many different people, and  different angles, its like my problems seem to shrink. They’re not as big, because I hear so many. And that helps me to keep sane. You have to really Thank God for the things in your life, because they can be worse. When you hear as many stories as I’ve heard, you will be falling to your knees Thanking him, because you know for a fact your stories arent near as bad as others. And this makes me have enough room to be a blessing. God ALWAYS reminds me how peaceful my life is, and so he said I can use you. People like to be ministered to in a peaceful tone, and peaceful way. Sometimes I just want to shut myself out from the world, because I get overwhelmed with calls, and having to listen . LOL But lately God is really showing me I can handle it without losing myself.

It’s all in the thought process. You gotta change your thoughts. When something negative comes to mind, shoot it down with Scriptures, or a gospel song. It works for me all the time!!!

Click the video below. I LOVE THIS SONG AND HAVE TO HEAR IT ALMOST DAILY. BE BLESSED I LIKE TO LIVE THE LOVE I SING ABOUT~ BB KING

 

Cree

 
Inside the mind of Lacrease