Sitting here enjoying my night off. Just thinking about how God will turn things around in your life. I’m so happy that I wrote down everything that I was going through, so now when I go back and read it, it makes me feel so good that I stayed in the race. I’m living each day with a different mind set. In 2013 I packed up and moved to Georgia. I wanted a new life, wanted to move into an apartment somewhere tucked near water and trees. Sorta like isolate myself. Boy did God have another plan for me. And even though I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ATLANTA…. I’m so glad I moved back home. I’m a family gurl. Raised with both parents in the home, I’m VERY close with my brother and my 2 sisters, not to mention the love I have for my nieces and nephews. Thing is…. I can drive/fly to Atlanta anytime, and stay as long as I want. Wow… no one told me that. LOL Atlanta will always be my second home. But NOTHING beats this DOWNTOWN DETROIT LIVING!!! I’M IN LOVE 🙂
I get to spend lots of time with my parents. When I came home, I found a 7 floor Senior Apartment * they live separately in the same complex* that is directly around the corner from me. Yes! If I leave my apartment right now, I will be at theirs in 2 minutes. I take them * my siblings as well* to the grocery store, to their doctors appointments, to dinner and other outings. They need me and I need them. My daughter lives around the corner from me, and its funny because my brother does too. My street is my brothers SIDE STREET. My daughter street is MY SIDE STREET. Yea we all live downtown and around the corner from each other. Wow God… never seen that in my forecast. We always get together for dinner and birthdays and of course just because days. Family is everything. If you can get alone with your family you can get alone with ANYONE!
 I realized what he was doing…..he was interviewing. I thought to myself…. “I know dayum well he aint the one doing the interviewing.” Now… I’m staring at him. He’s so dayum fine …he catches my eye. I found it hard to turn away. I was nervous. I can’t be interviewed by him because I know me… I’ll be nervous. Oh my GOD.. I thought to myself.. this is not happening to me. Not today. Not this time in my life. I have no control, I felt weak, and once he saw this in my eyes he would take me mentally to a whole new height.
So… I sat there. I tried to convince  myself that he wasn’t the one to interview me, that maybe there were several interviewers. I had to have went over this in my head about 20 times. He kept looking at me, so I decided that I was leaving. Nope, I wasn’t about to be interviewed by this man. He was NOT going to intimidate me. Nope not today. Now…. I have this thing about me, if I catch the eye of someone attractive and for me…. its one of MY “ugly” days, then I will NEVER be intimidated no matter how good he looks or turn me on. Because in my mind, I’m thinking Ok Cree….he thinks you’re cute today, just wait till he sees you looking good. So, that kinda helps me.
But on this day………………… I was looking good!!! My face was MAC FLAWLESS… skin beautiful, eyes *wish a brotha would look me into these marbles and not get caught up – lol*, lips poppin, hair on point * no wigs or fake hair*, smile… SMILING, eye lashes batting… had on my all black outfit with my boots…. couldn’t tell me nothing before I left out of the house. As I sat there…. I made up my mind that I was leaving. Wasn’t going to put myself through this.. I’ve been down this STREET a time or two of being CHEMISTRY intimidated and not able to get out of it. I stood up, grabbed my purse… just then I remembered that I parked valet and didn’t have my keys. Dayum.. I said to myself and sat back down. I decided that I was going to stay. That I was going to get through this interview and have full control. I fought myself all while he was still interviewing. I know me…. I’ve been though this before. There aren’t many times a woman look into a mans eyes and become star gazed on first site. Its a feeling that paralyzes you. But I must admit its one of the sexiest minutes to be apart of. But dang…. why couldn’t this happen while at the grocery store, mall or restaurant somewhere…… NOT A INTERVIEW. SHAT!
He stands up and shakes the hand of the person he just interviewed and the person leaves. My heart is pounding as he’s walking towards me to get to the desk to ask “whose next”. We make eye contact and we speak at the same time. I knew he was coming for me. I was in trouble. He goes to the desk and the gurl points at me. “DAMMIT” I said in my mind… he IS the one going to interview me. I embraced myself as he walked towards me looking me DEAD in my eyes, trying to “download” my every thought in my head…..through my eyes. We smiled and its a wrap for me…. I already know. He walks toward me and says ” LaCrease Walker?”…. Yes, I said as I stood up to shake his hand. He walks in front of me and says lets go over to this table * the one he was at while doing the other interview*. I was so dayum nervous… I started to say… “YOU KNOW WHAT?” I’m good on this job, it was nice for you to call me. I’m outta here. But I didn’t.
He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch. There was also a table there, that he had all of my information on. I couldn’t turn my mind off of how FIONE he was as he looked at my resume. He looked good from afar, but up close OH MY GAWD!!!! I kept telling myself…GURL….. get it together. It was silence as he looked down. He knew what he was doing. He was loading up on me, when he came up from that paper and asked that first question… I knew he would take FULL CONTROL. As he asked me the first question… he sat back and had his way with me. Looking me so deep into my eyes, downloading everything about me. Reading me, taking mental notes. Just dogging MEEEEEEE.. LOL Just like in the movie during the interview scene. All I could do was try to stay focus. The chemistry was so deep..so alive. So in my face. Then he asked more questions. Still staring me in my eyes as I spoke…so sexy and so sensual. I felt my body reacting to his stares. I tried to redirect my thoughts, but he kept looking at me. I know my eyes started telling him what my thoughts were… I couldn’t even help it. LOL I was slipping away yall.
Whenever he spoke about the company… that was my time to regroup my thoughts and get myself together. I kept having to have these inside pep talks with myself, because I didn’t know how much of these intense stares I could take. Just as I got myself together, there goes another question. A time for me to talk while he download my thoughts. THEN…… in the middle of me answering a question… he stops me and says… “Take off your coat”. To myself… I’m like “OH HELL to the N word NAW… um um you wont be seeing this beautiful shapely booty, my thick thighs and my waist line that carries it all. NOT TODAY!!! LOL LOL LOL I told him that I was fine. He insist. But the way he said it.. it wasn’t in a sexual way… or out of order…. NOT AT ALL… LET ME BE CLEAR…to him….. it only made sense to “get comfortable”… since I appeared to be ” NERVOUS” and the interview just started. I didn’t  want to do it…. if I ever had a chance to get out of it…. IT WAS GONE NOW.
I stood up which the space between his chair and the couch I was sitting on… placed me right in front of him.. LIKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I stood up and began taking off my coat… I tried to turn my head as I did it.. but our eyes locked and I PROMISE ON every TRUTH IN ME…. this man took off my coat for me!!!! His eyes told my coat to come off… AND IT OBEYED LOL LOL I had never in my life FELT SOMETHING SO INTENSE. When I took it off and sat it on the couch.. I felt like my breast, vagina, behind everything was EXPOSED! Its funny now looking back on it… but it wasn’t then. Shat…. I don’t even remember the interview after that. LOL
Whenever he spoke and shared things with me about the company, I reloaded trying to get “the POWER” back that he  was “stealing” from me. LOL  When it was my turn to answer the questions… my mind started failing me again.. worse every time. I starting thinking about kissing him, laying on the couch…all of this sexual stuff started coming to my mind. I’m saying to myself… “guuuuuuuuuurl if you don’t knock it off!!!  I couldn’t even help it… I was under a spell. The way he was looking at me.. he knew what he was doing. I was so weak and he knew it. He controlled the whole atmosphere and he was loving it. FINALLY …. the interview was over. YES!!!! He said.. I’m going to set you up on for a second interview. I was happy about that. He told me what time to come back in 2 days. I got to my car sat in it….. and almost needed a cigarette. I don’t smoke cigarettes, weed, anything… don’t even drink.. but I needed a hit of something that day. I was in a daze all the way home. I kept hitting my wrist asking myself…. what the HELL JUST HAPPENED? The experience was GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!! But dang….. not at a INTERVIEW!
I thought about that man all day and all night. I couldn’t even sleep the meet was that INTENSE. I had a plan for him.I was going to “get that ass back”. When I go back… I was going to be in CONTROL. I was not going to let him take over my mind, sexually and mentally again. I didn’t sleep for 2 days thinking about it. I remembered what he said…. he kept saying how he loved my bubbly personality. This time… I was going to be about BUSINESS . I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE that about myself. I can give you BUBBLY.. SMILES.. LAUGHS… COMMUNICATION…SEXY, everything… but when I put on my BUSINESS FACE…….YOU WILL NOT be able to figure me out… because I’m in control of MEEEEEEEEE. I LOOOOOOOVE Â that in myself.
The day and hour came for me to go back for a second interview… I walked up in there like  I WAS PART OWNER.. LOL LOL * Sho the FORK did*… Yalp had on my BUSINESS face like………..who WANTS TO SEE ME AND WHERE THEY AT? LOL LOL Guess who comes out to greet me.. looking BETTER THAN THE TWO DAYS BEFORE… GOOD GAWD…. um um ummmmm. One look into my eyes  as we shook hands to greet……and he said….. “you don’t seem as bubbly as you did before”… I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF IN MY MIND. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YESSSS ITS WORKING…. He said you’re okay? I said yessss… I’m good!!!! 🙂  I’m saying in my mind as we lock eyes… “what you want me to sit around here naked in the second interview too”? NOT GONE HAPPEN BOO. LOL  LOL LOL I was so happy I had my POWER back. He was looking good though… but I was ready for him and his PARALYZING STARES. LOL He directs me to the same area we were in before. But this time I sat in the other chair that sits a table, the couch I was on and the chair he sat in. He leaves to get the person who wants to meet and interview me. They both come back, but only the guy who is doing the interviewing sits down and in the chair that *handsome* sat in last time. We got to talking about the job, then about his friends, dogs, homeless people, being sick.. kids, everything. We WERE KICKING IT.. I was so comfortable… I felt so good. He was so cool.
Then…………here HE comes…. didn’t he PARK his FIONE self on the couch between me and the interviewer… sat and stared at me THE WHOLE TIME. I’m saying to myself.. GOD MAKE HIM LEAVE!!!!! I cant take it. He watched my every move, heard every word I said.. analyzed me, captivated me, sexually intimidated me, took off my clothes without ONE touch, downloaded all my thoughts, made me apart of his atmosphere, and took all MY POWER away. I tried to ignore his presence… I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. I tried to believe this wasn’t happening to me. I tried to stop looking at him. He was loving it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I had no control. The guy who was doing the interview was so into his story and life.. he had no idea I “left the building”. LOL I was at Mr. “House”. LOL I couldn’t stop looking over at him. I was a mess. He got me. He got me good. After that… didn’t even matter. I was butt naked again.. in his presence. I just let myself go. What the hell I thought to myself… he won! My thoughts took over and my nipples got hard. My vagina walls started doing the Harlem shake, flips, cart wheels… and whatever thoughts came to mind….. my body REACTED. AT one point… I tried hard to get back FOCUSED…. but it was like little kids in my head with markers, crayons, pencils and ink pens… coloring and scribble scrabbling all over my thoughts. What ever conversation I tried to muster up.. I couldn’t because the kids in my head…. scribble scrabble on my thoughts. HE got me.. h Then came time for paper work. We had to get in the elevator ALONE together.. and oh boy…. NOT THE ELEVATOR…. so personal… so sensual. The chemistry…… can’t even explain. I will say… that I LOVED Â the experience.. I LOVED how I felt… I LOVED the attraction and chemistry between us… but it was the wrong setting.
Please go see Fifty Shades of Grey… if you love my story… you’ll LOVE that movie… So sexy and inviting. 🙂 Listen to another of my FAVORITE SONGS from the SOUNDTRACK… Oh.. I love this song.
The kind of movie that my MIND and BODY craves. I’m a mind exploring -sexual person this is the perfect movie for my appetite.  Chemistry, Romance, Body Language, Mind Games, Way with words. Take MEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🙂 lol lol
When the books first came out, I didn’t read it at all. Wasn’t interested, too many people talking about it, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didnt read what the books were about, all I knew that it was a lot of sex… that was it. Never thought about it again…
Went to the movies sometimes last year, saw the previews on the screen and thought to myself…. Ummmm…. “I gotta see that movie.” My first concerns were that I wasn’t attracted to Christian… and didn’t think Ana was all that either. Because in MY mind, in order for a movie to be good, the leads have to have great Chemistry to attract my eye right away. Put it this way…. I had never seen either of the actors before, and couldn’t attract myself to their atmosphere. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Never to Judge a book by its cover EVER again.  I knew the movie was coming out Valentines Day…. I decided that I would go.
FIRST encounters… CHEMISTRY, ELEVATORS, DIRECT EYE CONTACT, HALF SMILES *while shaking the head in agreement*, INTENSE LISTENING *hard stares*, SEXUAL INTIMIDATION, SEXUALLY PARALYZED, BODY LANGUAGE NEAR OR FAR…., DIRECT WORDS * usually VERY short sentences*, MYSTERIOUS *the look in his eyes is a BRICK WALL, INVITING, THE SMELL OF HIS COLOGNE, ALLOWING THE WOMAN TO WALK AHEAD OF HIM *taking full control*, Making himself a THIRD PARTY* usually someone else comes in and start talking* while he sits back, watches and listens to your EVERY WORD. All of these things are important to me when watching a ROMANTIC movie, and also MY REAL LIFE experiences. What ever I THINK…. MY BODY RESPONDS.Â
I know there are people who may read this who have not seen the movie yet, so I won’t spoil it for them. But the movie opens up to my gurl… Annie Lennox ….. I Put A Spell On You. I love this song, because I first heard it years ago by Screamin Jay Hawkins * youtube him*. The SOUNDTRACK…. is one I cannot explain. I have NEVER  heard a SOUNDTRACK that captures every scene to the point. I am in love with it!!! Please BLESS YOURSELF and purchase it. I have to share a few of the scenes in the movie that “did it for me”. I LOVE how in control he was, so disciplined. Controlling a little… but not over aggressive to the point that he would IRRITATE ME. Just enough to keep my interest to figure out what is it about him …………..mentally. The DIRECT *sureness*  of what he wanted when he looked into her eyes…. I fell in love. The swag in his body language… spoke volumes. The question I asked myself as I was watching the movie is….. out of all the women that worked for him, that he met from interviews, in passing, what was it about her, that he wanted so badly? Men with POWER AND MONEY…. is always in search of “that gurl”. She has to be special, she has to know who she is, and what she wants in order to attract him. In the beginning of the movie, she was so shy and so nervous as she interviewed him, he picked up on it and used it to his advantage. He controlled the whole atmosphere with his DIRECT STARES….. CHAIR TO CHAIR bouncing, and 10-12 word REPLIES. TURNED ME ON IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES … LOL LOL Without telling the MOVIE…..it totally reminded me of one of MY EXPERIENCES.
A few months ago, I had went on several interviews searching for the right one for me. I was called to a 10:00 am appointment and when I walked into the lobby I was feeling GREAT and CONFIDENT. I  checked in, then sat on the couch and waited for the person to “come out” to get me. As I soaked up the lovely atmosphere, and beautiful interior decorations, I noticed a glance at me. I didn’t pay it any attention because I was busy looking around the place, but when he looked over at me for the  2nd and 3rd time…. I paid attention. I said to myself…… “is this man looking at me?” As I begin to focus on him.. I noticed that he was FIONE AS HELL. TALL*waves hand in the air*… handsome, sexy, thick, PRETTY WHITE TEETH, SUITED UP, beautiful in the face, eyes that says” come get it”, sexy lips, goatee, and very humble. I sat there trying to ignore him, because I know how my body respond to what I’m thinking and seeing. A INTERVIEW was the WRONG place for this. I kept trying to ignore his glances, until I realized what he was doing.
PART 2 COMING UP….TONIGHT * smiles*
I’ll leave you with this song… one of MY FAVORITES from the Soundtrack of Fifty Shades of Grey… * please listen to it*Â
Omg its freezing here in Detroit. Its so cold. Goodness, I can’t stand the winter time. I love how pretty the snow is especially at night. But the drive, the accidents, scraping the ice and snow off the cars in the morning, and the stuck in the snow part…. I can’t. It seems to be never ending. Even though we’re use to it, its irritating as I don’t know what! Â
This evening me and my 2 sisters went out on our Sister Dates. We make it priority that we link up at least once or twice a month. Its so very important for communication and to keep in touch. We all have grown kids and its good to know how things are with them as well. We always go to Applebees our favorite Sister spot we sit at the table argue and debate like we usually do. Laugh and talk. We sit for hours… tonight was ONLY 4 hours. Yes, we have a lot to talk about in that time. I was sharing with my group on FB how important for Sisters and Friends to link up for these outings. I feel its just as important as going to work. It keeps communication open and it brings us even closer. I really hope that Sisters are connecting for these types of dinner dates. I love my Sisters dearly, we grew up together, and its important for us to share in each other lives.Â
Yesterday LOL LOL As I was walking into work…I saw this woman… she was leaving. I stopped her and said  ” you look familiar” . She looked at me with this smile… and ME WITH MY… HONEST, SERIOUS, TRUTHFUL AND NAIVE self.. asked her what was her name.  LOL And if you know me.. you know I be looking serious. * My Virgo self* LOL never dawned on me.. that THIS IS MY NEW JOB NOW AND I WILL SEE CELEBS EVERYDAY. When she told me her name… it hit me.. that CREE gurl you’re at work. You can’t be asking these people those types of questions. Thing is.. I’m not star struck at all.. PERIOD. Not one ounce of me. God put us all down “here”… and I take that part to heart with celebs or anyone else on earth. I’m just so honest, it was me being me and seeing a familiar person thinking I knew her. So for now on, I have to remember that.. and I WILL… TRUST AND BELIEVE.  As the day went on… there were MORE. LOL
On my way to bed… make sure you’re spending time with your siblings. Make it important in your life to find the time, do what you can.
Today was a good day. Even though I had a breakdown … whew.. um um um. God always knows.. I mean not only knows… but ACTS ON IT when you’re on the ledge. I knew I wasn’t going over, but I sure stood on it today baaaaaby. Yes the gurl did. But he came through for me and I’m happy. I can’t even make up the things I’ve been through this year. Things always get better when you believe.
Saw a old friend today who knows me like he knows himself, told me that he loved me and that God is his witness, I’ll be his wife before he dies. Wow that is POWERFUL! Too bad I can’t have who I LOVE.
Before I close I just want to say to all those who are reading. Love each other, don’t take friendships for granted. Be there for that person as well, its not all about you. Because one day, you’ll go looking for your friend, and they’ll be gone. Keep promises and stay in touch, not only when you need to be heard, but just because you LOVE THAT PERSON.
Here is one of my favorite videos***SOLID*** from husband and wife Damion and ( my gurl) Maria Brumfield.
I guess in this entry I’ll do some rambling. Lets start with RHOA.
I’m still stuck on Apollo and last nights episode. How the hell could he do what he did without thinking about his family and then TURN THE STORY AROUND ON PHAEDRA and accuse her of not being there for him? Do you see that type of thinking?…  I don’t be bothered with men like that. When they start talking “side ways” I will too, then after I get tired of that. I’ll start acting “dumb”.. after that…. then I’m done with the friendship/relationship because its pretty much going down hill. And in this case it  did. He got mad and asked her for a divorce…. SHE GLADLY ACCEPTED!
A. while you were fresh out of jail Apollo.. she loved you and married you. B. You decided not to go with the “family business” to run a funeral home and go at it as husband and wife. C. You wanted your own money and decided that scheming was the way to go.  I’m stuck on how he  figure that he could just skip over all that…. and discuss Phaedra not going to his sentencing. I’ll tell him…  look….. before we get to the “icing” we gon talk about the making of the “cake”. You did wrong to start with, didn’t think about me, didn’t think about the kids, didn’t think about our family, you thought more about money, and impressing people who are still walking around here Scott free. No one wants to run back and forth to a jail house with 2 BOYS..while you jail house talk me into staying with you for your return home. Women aint doing that “no mo”. We look at that situation as YOU LEFT US.. You did things that were more important than me and your kids. Women look at that as you LOVED US.. but not enough to do right so that we could all be together. Sorry I don’t feel any sympathy… especially, especially, especially when he tried to turn it all on her. Only in passing of a conversation will he acknowledge his wrong, never coming to the conclusion that what HE did …. is what got them in that situation in the first place. #SEEYOUIN5
 I’m speaking from experience. I was dating this guy and we were trying to get it together. He was the sweetest man, loving, kind.. and he LOVED HIM SOME LACREASE. But he kept going back to jail. I was there for him, going to court with him, writing him everything.I LOVED THIS MAN. I don’t have one bad thing to say about him. He got out, did the same thing, and went back. When he came home… I was done with him. Told him to come over and pick up his things a few pair of socks and papers. He was sad, knew I meant business, we kept in touch but our relationship was over.
He went back to jail!!!
Came home and got it together. By this time I was long gone. We kept in touch from time to time. He had gotten married, was happy and doing well. Years had passed one day he contacted me, I invited him over and we caught up on old times. Time went by again, he came over this time he was in a different place. Told me that I WAS THE REASON why things went downhill for him. Told me I was a good woman, and that he loved me more than anyone he’s ever been with, and that if I hadn’t left him in his time of need ((jail)), then his life would have been different. He tried to make me believe that I was the reason why his life was the way it was, saying had I hung in there with him, we would be together. I wasn’t happy with  that conversation, because just like Apollo, HE made  the decision to do illegal things.You’re not going to put that on MEEEEE I’m sorry. He left my house.
Two weeks later he sat on the edge of his bed and shot and killed himself in the head. For years… I thought about his last words to me. So after watching last nights episode it bought back many memories. I hope Phaedra continues to stand strong. I hope she takes the boys to see him, I would hate for her to keep them from each other, but as far as herself…. she has to keep it moving in order to have peace of mind.
Where are you? LOL Its getting hard holding it down baby. I’m meeting a lot of guys… but nothing serious.. So I guess… you’re still in the running. LOL You know I remember years ago asking God for you, but I clearly see that I wasn’t ready.  I’m learning so much about myself…. its crazy. I would have drove you nuts!
I guess the hardest part about everything is being/staying celibate. I’m very clear and upfront about it with men that I meet. I get tired of the “why” and the “when”. Then I feel they hate that decision, so they stay in the picture longer hoping I would give in. Not gon happen. My personal conclusion about it, turns into a challenge for them. And they KNOW.. that I’m serious. What they love about me is that I’m the kind of woman they want, but none want to go the distance with me, because they know I’M NOT THE ONE FOR THEM.  A man knows!!!
Today for dinner I made some Collard Greens, Fried Chicken and Corn Bread.. with a Pepsi and strawberry short cake for dessert. Yesss.. it was good too. Well, I’m closing for now, have to do some brainstorming for my gathering.
These last few weeks has truly been amazing for me.. Spiritually. That’s another blog.
Living alone has really forced me to pay close attention to ME. I’m really in tuned with myself, things I never paid attention to when I was raising my daughter… I guess because it was all about her. But looking back on my life and this is so funny to me.. So, so, so, so, so, so funny. And I’ll tell you why in a few, but when you learn your likes and dislikes you are building Character. There are things you will simply not deal with, and I so love that about myself. I don’t comply with things I don’t want to deal with. But let me share what I learned about myself…. and I wish I knew why.
There are these contractors that work in the building, they’re the nicest group of men you ever want to meet. They don’t have attitudes or anything. Well the Boss/Leader likes me.. and I like him too. Not only that, but several of his people are attracted to me as well. And he knows it. LOL I love to flirt and talk “junk” to him… but I am firm on my won’ts and don’ts.
I looked back on my life and realize that through the years.. I have dated members of management at my job. I’m always attracted to the Leader. I wonder why? I wonder if its something I’m putting out there and I’m not aware of it, or is it something in both of us that attracts each other. In this situation I will never flirt with his people, but I LOVE THE ATTENTION. LOL Its funny because I know it will never go further than flirting…. I’m just not a woman easy to catch like that.
When I’m walking to my car, the men working in the apartments will whistle at me and its so funny looking up at the windows and finding out who it is, only for them to blow me kisses. LOL They have never tried to come to my apartment or say anything out of the way… I love that about them. Even though I don’t flirt with them… I enjoy them flirting with me… because its always when the Boss is not looking. Men crack me up. I don’t even think the Boss knows my name. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… see little stuff like that… I love discovering about myself. He doesn’t even know my name. LOL When I see him Monday… I’m going to ask him.
But also let me say this too. I’m very friendly and approachable. I don’t walk around with my face twisted, and mouth turned up. I’m always smiling and in a good mood. If I’m going through something.. I’ll leave that at home. I NEVER take it out on anyone. I do get quiet when something is bothering me, but I never transfer my Spirit onto another person. I make eye contact with people that cross my path. I smile and show myself friendly. And by me saying that… I believe that’s what attracts these men. Everywhere I go. I try to think positive and it shows on my face. Men like that.. they don’t want to be around a woman who always look mean and have something smart to say. Men don’t like that. I don’t like that in a man. Looking all mean and DISCONNECTED… get out of my face with that.
Anyway… women discover some things about yourself. I promise I love myself more and more everyday.
I went to see Gone Girl yesterday with my mom and my daughter. The movie was very good, kept me into it…. but the end.. left me irritated and EMPTY.
When I watch a movie… I like to get into the mind of the writer. I like to figure out his mind frame as I watch. But this movie had me all over the place…. and I liked that in the beginning. I never read the book….I’m still mad about the ending. The show was jammed packed… couldn’t find a seat for two. When the lights came up all we heard was booooo. Thats the only word that came to our minds. I said it to boooooooooooooooooo! I felt like I went on a trip with the writer.. and got played.
To me… it seems as if the writer was doing good with the direction of the movie, then got lazy. Like his idea went out the door for the ending. It felt like he just did any ole thang to end the story. The gurl was crazy… no way should it had ended that way. NO WAY!!! Aint nobody living that life… in REAL LIFE.
Excuse me….. I may be a little irritated about the DETROIT LIONS losing today. Maybe I should have written this later on when I calm down. I doubt if it will change how I feel about the writing. Ben, Tyler and the sister did well in the delivery of the movie… but I’m PISSED OFF AT THE WRITER. (((rolls eyes real hard and opens them 40 minutes later)))
So….. tonight I’m just rambling. Thinking about triggered things before I lay down to sleep.
There’s this gurl who lives in my building, she has to be about 28 ( a “kid” to me.. my daughter’s that age). Very nice pleasant. She always smiles and speak and also have a bubbly personality like I do. Every time I see her, she’s always chatting with someone in a good mood.
This one night maybe about 1 in the morning. I went downstairs to the lobby to talk to security about the dog next door to me and its barking. He told me that the new neighbor will be in shortly from work and that she’s very understanding and friendly. When she came in, we talked. She told me that her dog will be leaving in the morning to live with a friend because she’s gotten complaints from the front office about him. That was cool. We stayed in the lobby and chatted with security for about an hour plus just the 3 of us…..
When….
HOMEGURL * the nice friendly one* WALTZ in staring at me… like I stole her dayum lunch money. At the same time walking towards HIM… but staring at me REAL MEAN. So, I’m saying to myself…. gurlyougotmemessedup….. we’ll tear this lobby up tonight! I never in my life had a fight…. but the way she was looking at me…. I had to turn my head, then look back at her to see if she was looking at me. Now, I usually laugh at women like that. But when she walked in, she changed the WHOLE ATMOSPHERE. She didn’t say Hi… or nothing. She came in and posted her no-shaped body….right next to him. He’s a nice guy, he was looking like… “gurl what’s your problem?” He’s a Virgo too… so I know he checked her real good when we left. Anyway…. she never spoke. Me and my neighbor.. caught the elevator to our apartments and dueced out!!! LOL
Last week… didn’t I see that…  NO BOOTY HAVING SPONGE BOB SHAPED gurl in the lobby talking to HIM?  Keep in mind.. he’s been working here almost a year.. and before that night…. I NEVER KNEW HIS NAME. I speak to everyone, smile.. and keep it moving. Now, I’m walking up to building looking at the security counter before I walk in. I could see them. So, I said to myself.. she always speak and make conversation with me, and I don’t like to jump to conclusions about a person. So, if she speaks to me.. Okay… maybe that was ME the other night “feeling some kinda way”. I said now, if she throws me shade… it was her all the time, and that means she likes the security guy and feels some kinda way about me. I walks in.. looking cute… and says “Hey…. how yall doing?” She’s looking down at her phone… LOOKING REAL MEAN * LOL*.. He’s looking at me, and we speak at the same time. I looks at her… as I’m walking to the elevators.. She took a looooooong pause and FINALLY said “hi”.  It was so low, and dry. LOL She never looked up at me… totally out of character for her. I don’t even know this child’s name.
MY point is….women STOP IT. STOP! Why must we do this to each other? What is the point? Some women are so territorial about these men. And for what? Now, I have to be on guard when I see her again, instead of looking forward to a funny and friendly conversation with her in passing. I’m also a friendly person. I speak to everyone, never have an attitude. I don’t see how women can devote time and energy into other women with this MESS. Its so petty and time consuming. Grow up!
I look forward to having my Sisters Only Gathering. I have a lot to say.
Inside the mind of cree 