Month: September 2008

Hey Whatssssssss up!!!!

Lord thank you for everything. Sometimes I just wonder how do you deal with us off the hook kids? I mean Lord, you know we are off the hook down here right? You gotta be a loving God to care of us even through our MESS!!!

Which takes me to this topic. Now I do a lot of reading, research, plus I watch the news as many as 3 times a day probably more. I love to read, when I come home from work, I’m like a junky for reading. I read so much half the time I don’t remember what I read. LOL Me and my brother always debate the issue that’s going on with my Mayor here in Detroit. I’m sure most of you have heard it from around the world. After today’s LIVE court hearing, I gotta comment.

Before my Mayor took office he was a member of my Church. I knew him before he was even running for office. I would see him in Church because for one, he’s a good looking guy, so he kinda stands out. He’s married and has * all boys*. When he decided to run, naturally my Pastor endorsed him and we all stood behind him. He won. After he did those 4 years, we re-elected him into office, this time * my Pastor said in service * that he was going to leave the voting to us*. Which sent a red flag to me that *something happened* he knew something we didn’t. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew in time it would come out. I knew that the Mayor was back and forth between Church’s because his wife belong to another one. So it wasn’t unusual that I didn’t see him as much.

This last time in office, there were reports of wild parties with 2 strippers, which allegedly his wife came home early and beat one of them. The Mayor said that this was a rumor, the party never happened, and its just a * urban legend*. There were several officials investigating the case or just wanted to know if the party happened, and because they asked *too many question about the rumored party* they were fired. Also, that VERY DAY….. the stripper was shot to death sitting in her car. And, the other stipper was also killed in another city. Both gurls are dead and the case was CLOSED. The family/son of the gurl is trying to get the case reopened, subpoenaing the hospital records, and other documents. It is beleived that the Mayor’s wife was NEVER questioned about the beating of the girl.

Here is a list of charges bought upon the Mayor by the Wayne State Prosecutor Office.

Also, here are 2 videos that you MUST see. Then I will post a letter to the Mayor that I wish he could read.

Dear Mr. Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick

Ive been watching all the court cases, watching the news, and following your cases closely. What you are going through is something * Spiritual*. You are a Christian. You are also a city Leader. You set the atmosphere for all of us living in this city of Detroit. I understand that people are coming at you from all angles, but what you are accused of, you know if its true or not. Please don’t be so quick to believe that the public is out to get you.

God is the only one who can Judge you. Not the people, not your family and not your friends. I can ONLY imagine how hard it is to give up your position as Mayor. You will lose your pension, have to move you and your family out of the mansion, possibly jail time, and lots of hours of community work. But at some point you must step down. AT some point, you gotta say top yourself……… you know what? This is not about me, this is about God. Maybe God is stripping you of your power, because you have abused it. Who cares that you cheated on your wife? That’s your personal business. NOT OURS!! STOP intimating people with your power, people are losing jobs, losing sleep, scared to come forward, and millions of dollars are spent in court fees. Everyday I see the stress on your face, your wife and your attorneys.

If you step down, admit to
God, and to the people of Detroit your wrong doings, take your punishment, I promise you God will restore you. Even if you are not allowed to run again, you will be free. Once you confess, you are free. Forget us, forget the people. Step down so that God can go to work on you..ALONE with your family by your side. Step down, leave the Pride. Do you realize that once you get right with God, all of this EXTRA stuff you are going through will be no more? Not one person living on this earth will be able to touch you once you step down, and get yourself right with God. NO ONE! They can write articles about you all day, but still you will be free. God can restore you in front of all of us. But as long as you continue to *fight* and YOU KNOW you’re wrong………..you are only making it hard for you, your wife and kids.

As a Christian myself, its killing me to see you go though this because of pride and arrogance. Its killing me to know that there is a God that wants to help you, but as long as you are not doing the right thing by the *people who elected you*, you will have to take all the blows by everyone. To take blows like this, you have to be almost unreal. And we know that’s not true. The longer you prolong this, the more you continue to embarrass yourself, your family and the people of Detroit.

Step down Mayor, and take your punishment as a person who committed these *felony crimes* and get on with your life. You said in one of your text messages *caught is what you see.* And I guess you are sticking by that. But just know Character is Everything. Everything you do now, you kids will work hard to undo. And not on purpose, they shouldnt, but you should really think about them right now, step aside and Let God. This song is for you .

Your Sister in Christ

Cree

Today was a much better day. Thank you Jesus for that. My dad is doing better plus me and my sister had a real good talk today. Communication is Everything, Ive always written that in my blogs. If you have something that you need to say to someone, tell them, don\’t assume anything.

Today is my Birthday!!! Sept 3 I\’m 41 years old. Wow, Thank you Jesus for me seeing another year. Yeaaaaaaaaaa. And………. today is also my one and only baby * well she\’s a grown woman now* Neisha\’s Birthday, she\’s 22 years old!!! She\’s in school, this is the first year that I won\’t see or spend it with her. But when I get off work on Thursdayshe\’ll be out of school for the weekend, we are going to dinner and were going to laugh and act silly as we usually do, plus go to the book store…… our favorite place.

Virgo\’s are surely in the HOUSE!

For my BD gift my mother is buying me and Ticket to see Maxwell!!! Tickets go on sale Friday morning. I hate that I\’m going to be late for work that day buying tickets @ 10:00 am, when I have to be at work at 9:30. But…. Oh well, that\’s a point on my record, but it\’s well worth it. When it comes to MY Tyler Perry, Anita Baker, Maxwell, Mary J Blige, Prince and a few others I try to support them and plus I enjoy good GROWN FOLKS plays/concerts. My mom took me to a Prince concert when I was in my teens TWICE, and I have been loving concerts ever since. I\’m truly addicted to concerts. I enjoy the atmosphere of good music and worthy artist.

Almost 6 years ago when I moved into this house I\’m at now. I had just lost my job, my car went down and all I had was this nice place * thank you Jesus* didn\’t even have money to pay the bills in it. LOL I was praying and just seem like nothing was happening for me. One day in the midst of all this. God said to me \”Lacrease someone is going to knock on the door and offer you a job\”. So, I\’m saying to myself………..dang how is that gon happen God? Yall know how we do, when we hear something that we can\’t see happening…. we question it. But, I knew it was God, because I just couldn\’t come up with something like that in MY OWN MIND out the blue. I knew it was him. So everyday I would get up looking for jobs, calling here and calling there, when my phone rung one evening. It was my sister husband\’s- Sister Mar Quetta*. We all call each other Sisters because our families are close*. She was telling me that the lady next door from her, KNOCKED ON HER DOOR ASKING HER IF SHE knew anyone who wanted to work at HER daycare. Tripped me out do yall here me? I almost dropped the phone when she asked me that question. She called me of all people. Maybe because she knows I like to work with kids. I was stuttering saying yea, yea , I want the job. She gave me the lady phone number and ASAP she set up an appointment to meet me. I went to her day care * beautiful Christian Center* and she gave me a tour of the place, introduced me to the kids and everything. I had to get several clearances, take a TB shot and I was ready for my first day of work.

Got to work that day, and as she was showing me more things, I felt compelled to share with her what God had told me about someone knocking on the door and offering me a job. She was so excited to hear my story, after we talked for a while and did paper work she showed me the age group that I was going to be working with. I really wanted to work with the smaller kids on up, but when she took me to the nursery * which I didn\’t know she had* I wasn\’t so sure. She told me that this is where I was going to be working. To me working with babies, is really not my area. I enjoy conversations with the little ones, and teaching them new things. I\’m really a teacher at heart. But at that time it didn\’t matter I just needed a job.

Very first day of work, I was working with a girl who was working her last day. I can tell she really wasn\’t feeling it, she was ready to go ROLL OUT!!! LOL At some point, I weighed all my options, and said to myself…..I can\’t do this anymore. The babies hollering, the gurl is ready to leave, we are short handed, and I wasn\’t use to babies. I knew my lunch time was 12 pm. I couldn\’t wait. I must have looked at that clock a billion times. I said Lord forgive me, but when I walk out of that door for lunch IT\’S A WRAP…..I ain\’t coming back!!! I sat there saying to myself, Cree that\’s wrong, don\’t do this lady like that, just talk to her. Every time I wanted to talk to her, I had a feeling that she was going to talk me into staying and to believing that everything will eventually be alright. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I just couldn\’t stand to hear her beg me. I felt it was just easier to leave for lunch and never return.

Wrong….

12:00 pm was here and Creedog was at her car, saying to herself, Lord forgive me, but I\’m never coming back to this place again. I went home, took off my clothes, turned the ringer off, got in that bed, put the covers up to my neck………………. and I was OUT LIKE SHOUT!!!. I looked at my called ID, the lady called me a thousand times, my sisters called me a billion times, Quetta called a trillion times. EVERYBODY was calling my house because they thought something happened to me. The lady called every number on my application * hehe* and then when I didn\’t answer, my family started coming over to my house knocking on my windows……..woke me up too. They were so worried about me. Guess I didnt think that far of the lady calling my family. I answered the door, and when I told them what I did. They laughed, but said that I was sooo wrong and that I owe the lady an apology. Well….. I know I owe her that, but I just couldn\’t face her. I tried to call her the next day * cause that day was GONE* but I couldn\’t. So after a day or so, she realized that I didn\’t like the job and that I wasn\’t coming back, so she wrote me a letter. It was Christian like but she told me off in a Spiritually way, lol. I knew I was wrong so I didn\’t have not one word to say.

So recently she has been coming in to Walmart, she would speak to me but I don\’t think she knows who I am. I picked up some weight so I don\’t think she recognized me. Well she came in last Friday morning * hardly no one was in the store* through my friend line, and when I saw her, God said now is the time you talk to her in person. I went over to her and I said Hi * can\’t think of her name* I said do you remember me? She looked at me real good and said you look familiar. I said well, I\’m Lacrease you hired me about 6 years ago to work in your daycare, and when I went to lunch I never came back. She said yeahhhh, * then she really looked at me* lol I said well I just wanted to tell you in person how sorry I am for leaving you like that. I said I was wrong and afraid that if I told you how I felt you would want me to finish the day out and I just wasn\’t feeling that at all. I said to her, it wasn\’t anything against you or your daycare, it was just that I wasn\’t feeling it. She said oh okay… I remember that clearly. We smalled talk and that was it. So I felt good to finally get that off my chest, no one was around, and I got a chance to look her in the eye. When I tell you she looks just like Ciara the singer, please believe me. They are both tall, BEAUTIFUL, meek, pretty skin, nice hair, she looks like she could be her oldest Sister. They look excatly alike.

Looking back on that incident, only reminds me how far I have come. If I ever ever ever ever ever ever ever go to a job and I don\’t like it, I will politely tell the person how I\’m feeling, thanks for the opportunity and I am outta there. I realized that I don\’t have to hurt someone in that way. I like to tell the truth and be honest, so today in my life that wouldn\’t be a problem. I know this tho, today I may be willing to stay till the end of my shift, more so than back then. That was really bold how I did her. But also I\’m glad that I got a chance to get that off my chest. So now when I see her, we can speak and move on.

Barack Obama was here in Detroit as I told you all. His speech was short and to the point. He spoke about the people on New Orleans. He said to give to the American Red Cross, time, and anything you can to help the people there. He said he didn\’t want to talk politics, and I believe that the people were satisfied. He\’s a Leader, he knows how to change the atmosphere. He knows when to roll and when to fold. Afterward he made me wanna share my ice cram cone with somebody * just playing * but seriously he just made me feel so positive. He made me feel that it wasn\’t about ME, and I like that. He said that he was in touch with Security Homeland to see how the people were doing. I love that. I\’m about helping the people. I want everyone to be okay. I can be the Leader, leading the people, or I can be the last one making sure everyone is in line and doing fine.

Make sure you all go and see my Boo Tyler Perry\’s new movie next Friday Sept 12 The family that Preys!!! Don\’t let me get yall now. I\’m going to see it on Thursday night at 12:01 me and my family do it each time he has a movie. Last time I was sooooooooo sick and couldn\’t go, but they still went 15 deep!!!

Well talk to you all tomorrow. Back to work for me on Thursday. MY Sister bought me a cake * yummy*.

Below is Dream Lover by Liz Hogue, song # 85 in my iPod

HecallMEcree

Lord only you can wipe my tears away.

Today my sister called me and we talked about our baby sister *34* being mad at us for not going to see my dad and as often as she does. Growing up she was closer to him and we were closer to my mother. Today we all talked on the 3 way, and my sister told us to come on around the corner because her and her fiancee * I just love him to pieces* made food on the grill. I was happy to go because my baby sister was mad at us for a day, and we wanted to hug and see her. I knew she had picked up my dad, so that was cool too we could all be together.

My dad has always been an alcoholic, we have gotten over that part. But now he has Ataxia, its a disease that attacks his nervous system and causes him to fall at any given time. My dad is very very very stubborn. Although he has a walker and a cane, he feels that * people* will look at him if he has to have a mobile chair or anything to help him walk. Tonight he was slurring, and drinking, and it just made me cry so bad. Never in my life did I know my sister had been dealing with this, because the rest of us me, my sister and brother wont deal with it, especially since he doesn\’t want the help. Tonight I finally understand where my sister is coming from. My dad couldn\’t walk off her front porch, my brother, brother n law and we had to physically carry him off the porch. My dad has always been a person who * doesn\’t need help*, and to see him in this state, just killed me tonight. Had it not been for God, I wouldn\’t have any tears left.

I\’m just so hard broken that he is killing himself with liquor and cigarettes. My mom left him 6 years ago, he\’s staying in a senior citizens building, and now I\’m going to wonder about him day in and day out. His speech is so slurred, and when he stopped the drinking it was coming back. We told him that we wasn\’t going to put his liquor in the truck and he just went off on us. He turns into this demon about his Liquor. So just tonight I called him to see how he is doing and he was doing okay, I can tell in his voice. I\’m going over to his house tomorrow after Neisha moves in her dorm and see how he\’s doing.

I see what my Sister is talking about. She could never do that alone. She needs us, he needs us, we need each other. I couldn\’t even live with myself, if I don\’t step in. He\’s not like that all the time, that\’s the good part, it comes and goes. But tonight I think God let me and my sister start back talking, just so that I can see what she was talking about. And I see.

I see that I\’m going to have to set some rules for him before I start being back in his picture. My dad hasn\’t spoken to my mom is almost 2 months because she got tired of running over to his house bringing him liquor and cigarettes. he plays these mind games with us, and that\’s what I\’m NOT going to deal with. No way. My sister just let him have his way. He did give me his doctors number, so tomorrow I\’m going to give her a call to see if he can get a mobilized cart to get around in.

Guess I tried to retire stepping up in the family, guess by me being the oldest, Imma have to wear the badge once more. Maybe that\’s why God made me the oldest. I do my best to make things happen.

Thank you Lord for a shoulder to cry on, its late and I have to be up and out by 8am. Thanks for forgiven me. Thanks for comforting me. Thanks for looking over my ignorance and maybe denial about my dad, but I learned it is what it is!! Thank you Lord for this day.

Photo is my dad, my baby sister fiancee, and my brother- n- law

Good Night

Cree

Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning. Thank you for the many things you have shown me in the last month. I just really want to Thank you. I just have too.

Ever since my trip from Atlanta, and Pearls of Wisdom *POW* are no longer a group. God has really shown me a lot of things about myself and as well as things in my own personal life. Let me explain. And I really hope someone reading can see themselves and work on it as I am doing now.

I am the oldest of 4. My mom and dad separated after 35 years of marriage. To me, I\’m finding that I\’m always believing that everything is okay. I try really hard to focus on the positive of things. When it comes to family functions and gatherings, I\’m always the one who is calling the others to make the plans. I hate when someone says *yall didn\’t call me*. I hate that mentality. I hate it! I hate it. I hate it. We all have phones where we can pick up and call each other, if you know the holiday is coming, call your family and see whats going on. Don\’t wait for someone to call you with plans.

But see what I\’m learning is, that its not okay for me to continuing on * calling everyone to make plans*. I had to stop that. I found out that every time I called to make plans and stuff for Birthday\’s, holidays, get together, that people have their own agendas. This is not just about family, this is also the case with friends. No matter how hard I try to make sure people come together, and do things as one, there is always someone who don\’t see things as I am trying to do them. Always one. And me being *Cree* always want to * pull out a million tools* to try to fix things. I\’m tired of *fixing things*. I\’m tired of pulling things together especially when people are trying to do their own things. And as soon as I sit back to see what God is trying to show me about ME, here comes * Satan* in the form of a person trying to figure out why I\’m not bringing everything together like I normally do. Well guess why? Because I\’m tired. I\’m giving up my *plant manager* badge. I\’m not supervising anymore. I\’m not *making it happen*, people have their own mouths and their own hands to pick up the phone to bring us all together. Let them do it.

Now what has happened is, I use to be the one trying to bring everything together. And now I\’m sitting back and watching everybody, and the outcome is ugly! Everything that I\’m seeing, I wouldn\’t have seen had I been the one up *walking around*. From my view I see everythang!!! And boy was I dumb. As the song goes, I was blind, but now I see.

What I learned is, it wasn\’t necessary for me to do all that. I did all of that on my own, nobody ask me to do anything. But I realized that I have always been this way. Is this a form of control? I\’m afraid so. So I asked myself what are you trying to control Lacrease? I know that my control NOT done on purpose for personal gain, but its to make sure everything go smoothly, so that I don\’t have to worry about anything. My motive for doing things are always good, but I\’m learning that its okay to take a seat in the back, instead of sitting in the front where I can watch everybody and everything. And to be honest, I love sitting in the back. I don\’t have to do nothing, don\’t have to answer questions, don\’t have to make sure everything is okay, because I\’m riding this * bus* just like them. Its okay if I\’m not the bus driver. Let God do his work, is what I\’m always hearing in my head……….and for some reason… I\’m loving it.

Also I learned that when I *sat down* from doing everything, that\’s when things fell apart. Now I\’m asking myself… are they falling apart because for once you didn\’t * pull out your bag of tools to fix it*, or were you trying to put and piece together something that *didn\’t want to be touched in the first place*? Wow what an observation about myself. Something that wants to live will live without or without Lacrease. Which brings me back to ME.

My baby sisters is mad at the 3 of us. Growing up me and my sister who is under me was always in trouble. I remember being on punishments for summers and summers to come, sitting up stairs in my room reading. My baby sisters didn\’t go through half the stuff as we did. If we sneezed hard, we would have to wash the dishes for months and months straight. Me and my dad never ever ever got along. The only time we got along was when I got my work check and I would give him some just to keep peace with him. My baby sister was too young to remember all of that. So now that we are older she is the one who caters to my dad. He misuses her to no end, and it use to bother me, and now since I have gotten this attitude where I say * well if you like for him to misuse you then I love it*. I\’m sorry but I refuse to let him do me like he use too. And the 3 of us feel the same way. I\’m grown now, I have a choice to be misused. I have my own place, I don\’t have to stare him in the eyes and get smacked in the face if I blink. I\’m sorry but those days are not here any more.

We have all forgiven my dad, none of us are bitter or angry over how he use to treat us. But he is the one who keeps bringing up the past and forces a comment out of us, and if he doesn\’t like it, he will hang up and not call for MONTHS! He has allowed the guilt to take over his life. No matter how bad I want to NOT talk about things, he wants to talk about it just to get mad and hang up. Its crazy to me. He\’ll call and say what yall doing? And if were leaving out to go to Texas Road House or something, he\’ll say… YALL EATING OUT AND I\’M OVA HERE EATING HAM FOR DINNER. And my daughter would just be about to cry. And I started saying well, when he call don\’t tell him where we\’re going. Cause see I know its all a front for sympathy. He has done this to me for all my 41 years of living. This is new to her. For years she has watched him do this, so now that she\’s grown he tries to manipulate her. Yesterday he called me at home and asked me to do something for him, then when I told him No I\’m not because the car is gone. He hangs up with me calls Neisha on her cell phone to see was I lying. I cant stand stuff like that.

So what I found out about myself is that I have went beyond the call of duty to make sure that everyone is okay, its just who I am. And now I\’m riding on the back of the bus like everybody else. That\’s why my dreams are not coming to fruition. I\’m too busy doing everybody else. I\’m not calling anyone back, I\’m not picking up the phone to call anyone. God work for them just as he do me. And you know what? God is showing me so much everyday. To me I feel that I\’m in the best position that I have been in, he is showing me all that\’s been there in the first place. People are going to be people, and that\’s the way it is. Many instances God is calling for me to be the *one*, but I\’m too busy trying to bring in others. I\’m not missing my blessing for anyone again. Never.

I also feel that I\’m standing in my own way. I\’m going to let God work on his own kids. Why do I feel the need to be the Doctor in everything, while people sit back and watch my name pop up on the Caller ID. I know I have created an atmosphere where I have stepped up and done things, and this is for all areas of my life
, and now I refuse to do it anymore.

I can go on and on and on about my life. But I\’m moving on to positive things.

Barack Obama is here in Detroit!!! Yea. He will speaking this morning at Hart Plaza downtown Detroit. Me and Neisha want to go , but the parking is crazy, we cant bring lawn chairs or anything. So basically we would be standing, *looking for a bathroom * hot, everyone is off from work due to it being a Holiday, and wondering after its over how long is it going to take to get home? LOL So we decided to watch it on TV Live. Then another part of us is saying….. This is history, do what you have to do Lacrease to be apart of this Historical event. I thought about it some more, and decided to stay home.

I\’m so proud of myself, everyday I have really been working hard on getting the lessons plans ready for my Teens group that I\’m going to start up next year. Ever since I came home from Atlanta and took myself away from other things, I have made it my business to focus on me and the things I\’m suppose to be doing. Yesterday I was at work for only 4 1/2 hours, and I kept thinking about my best friend. Nothing bad. so I said God I want to see my best friend in this store today. Didn\’t Charlene come behind my register and tap me on the back and said I\’m going to shop Ill be back. LOL I was like OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We hardly ever get a chance to see each other, but we are very close and talk daily. So I was pretty happy and she came through my line.

I have something else to share tomorrow. Right now its 4:30 and I\’m sleepy. I took a nap and woke up at 10pm!!! Yall know I had to be tired cause I don\’t even take naps!!! LOL

Below is one of my favorite songs IN THE WORLD. Its from my baby Maxwell. On his myspace site he is coming to Detroit in Oct. My computer is on speed dial with ticketmaster the mintue tickets go on sale. I am there!!! Ahh, this man makes me feel so sexy. I leave this place mentally when I listen to his music. He takes me outta here. LOL There\’s no video for this song, but listen to the music and lyrics.

Good night

Cree