I talk to God a lot, a whole lot and when there are things that I just don’t understand, I have to go over it, again, and again and again with him. That’s just how I am. My family and friends would say that I’m the same way with them. I don’t get upset that I don’t get it and have to keep asking questions, I just need to understand, and even though others get upset with me, God doesn’t. And that’s all that matters.
As I was sending out emails to remind those who signed up to donate for my Feeding the Homeless Project, I got this feeling that there would be a few people who wouldn’t be able to go through with their items…..for whatever reasons. Now, if you know me, you’ll know that I’m not upset, angry, or anything, I’ll just hop in my car and go out and get what I’m missing. No questions asked, LESSONS LEARNED FOR SURE, but I will never take it personal, get upset, or angry. So, as the days are winding down, I had everything I needed, except a few packs of bologna and cheese that this person promise to buy. Now, I’m the kinda person who wants extra of everything, I hate to run out of the things I need, especially when doing something on this scale. I want my people to eat good, have plenty, and I want things done decently and in order.
The evening before we went to pass out lunches… I wanted so bad to go out and buy more bread, Bologna, and cheese that items that I counted on this person to bring. But I heard God loud and clear say “No”. I said well the other gurl didn’t call or anything, and we need these things. God said “No”. He said La’ Crease you always want to go ahead and do something, he said if I wanted you to do this alone, I would have had you to do it without asking others. So, at that point I’m like okay …… He still said “No”, and I knew it. I will not go out and do it anyway. I know he would have been mad at me, because I’m standing there hearing him loud and clear. See, in my eyes…I’m like okay, I can jump in my car right quick, go pick up the things I need and that’s it. Simple. But see God is trying to get me to trust others, and that everything will be just fine with or without those items. Somewhere in the back of mind, I always have a PLAN B, for anything that I set my mind to do. I never want to be “out there” where I don’t have enough.
So, I questioned God and asked him….why do I do that? “He said when you ask me, you always ask as if you’re a little girl”. That’s why you’re not getting it.I’m a grown woman, asking God questions in a childs voice, but receiving a grown womans response. So, just then I PICTURED IT…… JUST AS I ASKED…. I can see myself knee high with a white dress on, no older than 3 years old tapping God on the leg with this concerned look on my face……pointing saying….. “Okay God why can’t I just hop in my car and go get the rest of the items from the store? I have the money, I have a car, its just down the street…. just let me go get it. Just then I got it. You know how a kid ask their mom for some chips that’s on the refrigerator? And she says….. No not right now, you can have the ones in the bedroom. But the kid says…… but the chips are right here. I can just get them and I wont have to go in the bedroom to get those. Its like saying, you already said I can have some, but why I gotta wait and get the ones out of the room, when these are right here. LOL And sometimes parents don’t always explain why they do this over that, or why they chose that child to do something over the other. There is a reason to everything, and we don’t always have to know why at that time.
So, the morning of going out, my friend Ms. Gloria knocked on my door about 9:35 AM. She’s always on time, and always prepared to work. I still had this “crazy desire” to go and buy more bread, cheese and bologna. I know, I know…. I can feel God looking at me saying. gurllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll if you go out that doe ( door) !!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL I love him. He is so funny. That thought never crossed my mind again. LOL Let me tell you…… We had SO MUCH BOLONGA THAT WE DIDNT USE ALL THE 8 PACKS OF MEAT… ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WE HAD SO MUCH MEAT LEFT OVER, THAT WE STARTED PUTTING 3 MEATS ON ONE SANDWICH. LOL LOL LOL GOD KNOW HE SHOWS OUT. LOL LOL I was sitting there like OMG…… God knew all the time. What I learned that God knows what he’s doing. He knew that I wanted to go out and buy more more, more, when all the time he was telling me that we had enough. No matter if the lady had came or not. We had enough. Most sandwiches had 2 slices of meat, but at the end we had met our goal and so we started putting 3 pieces of meat on one sandwich. SMH @ myself.
I learned that I have to relax and calm down. Man, I had my hands on the car keys, purse and everything, I will run to the store in a heartbeat. But we had enough and that’s what God was saying to me. I’m happy that I didn’t leave that house to go and buy more food anyway. I did what he told me, AND met my goal of 60 sandwiches. I’m happy.
Last year Tyler Perry was here in Detroit with his stage play Madea’s Big Happy Family, and as I was sitting (alone) in the 4th row from the stage, I kept asking God why can’t I meet Tyler, he’s right there, foot steps away from me after the show? God said loud and clear, “NOT NOW”…. So, I’m like but he’s right there ( pointing to the stage and how close I was too it). God said “No, not now”. Again, I was asking God from a little girls view, tapping him on the knee speaking in my little girls voice, asking just as a little girl would do. And that’s why I wasn’t getting it. If he’s right there, why can’t I meet him? All I want to do is take a photo, talk for about 15 minutes and be on my way. It doesn’t matter if he’s “right there”, or if I want to “talk for a few minutes”…. the answer is still NO. So, now I get it. Just as the kid want the chips, just as I wanted the bologna….. and just as I want to meet Tyler Perry. The answer is still ….”Not now”. And coming from God ( my daddy) that’s his final answer …..for NOW. *wink*
God has shown me time and time again that yes, I have people in my life who will loan me money, give me money, help me out when I need it, give me a ride if I ever need it, if I ever went into the hospital, things would still be taken care of, But he wants to show me that its okay to go through the process and wait on him. He can close all those doors that I have access too, I know that…but he wants me to trust him. Boy, I tell you, there are some days when I say…. okay God take care of that for me, take care of him/her, or I’m going to let you handle that situation. And then I have days when I say… okay God let me carry those 2 bags of bricks????? What’s up with me? LOL That’s why I’m so glad that God understands me and he loves me and he speaks my language. I don’t care who doesn’t get me, or if I ask to many questions, God made me, he loves me , he listens to me, he understands me.
I found this piece on line…….very interesting. Read below.
The Power of God’s Patience. Exercise God’s patience. In Hebrews 10:36 For you have need of patience, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.. What will of God, you may ask? After you have served in faithfulness, after you have received the Word with gladness, after you sought his presence, after you have yielded to his preparation and pruning, then there’s patience. Can I tell you another story? Many times in my Christian walk, God has said wait. I can’t say that I have always understood the why of wait. But I can tell you each time God asked me to wait, after a little time it becomes clear it has been well worth the wait.
For more reading.. http://www.armorbearers.net/blogs/serve-going-through-the-process-to-the-next-level.html